countrygirl66
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Posts posted by countrygirl66
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I love my animals (not as much as my h or kids) but they are a part of my family. 2 dogs 4 cats 1 guinnea pig. That being said, they know their place, (that they are the pets). We had a dog growing up on our farm that saved my dads life from being attacked by a bull we had. My sister had a dog that bit her every week, (the pet trainer said the dog thought he was the boss and she and her h were the pets). I think if you have pets you have a responsibility to take good care of them and let them know where they fit in the family (pack). Love my animals, but if I had a biter I would put them down.
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I have had abusive parents and through many steps and missteps I am sealed to adoptive parents. However i have a brother that is sealed to noone because he can't bear the thought of being sealed to our step mom(monster). My only advice would be to do their work and then take it slow for yourself. Pray about it and wait for confirmation that it is the right thing for you personally. I beleive that you will get it when the time is right. Take care, this is a hard situation. Your in my prayers.
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This was an idea I heard about today and I think it is kind of interesting. The entire bank would be virtual. You would do everything online. If you needed actual cash you could still use an atm or do the cash back when you use your debit card. With automatic deposits and bill pay it is an interesting idea. There is nothing in the bailout exploring this though. Can you imagine if citigroup got rid of all their stuff!!! and put the bailout money into a virtual bank. I was wondering what you guys think?
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Thanks for all of your thoughts, it helps to not feel alone. I have been able to keep physical contact from taking place. The hard part is that i am her permanent legal guardian and so that leaves her birth mother in the picture. This step grandfather is like most pedophiles, (claiming to be innocent) (he isn't) He got throught to her on a cell phone the other day when she was talking to her brother and it took me an hour to talk her out from under the bed. I think if he would go away I could work on forgiveness, but he never goes away he is always working some angle to make contact. He lives in the state of kansas and will not be prosecuted. I have talked and talked to child services there and the law enforcement and was pretty much told to mind my own business. I know I have to do this, but it is really hard. I just feel like I will be fighting him until one of us leaves this earth. Thanks for your good thoughts and encouragement to keep trying. I sometimes think that is the biggest challenge of the times we live in.
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This is a particularly hard subject for me. I know that in the world that I live in today and where I am at in life that I could not live this law. I also know that my great grandma thought it was the greatest blessing of her life and took care of two other wives and raised some of their children. I do feel at peace though that the lord would never force this law upon me. I have heard many say that it will come back. I think that is just speculation. I have wondered about the celestial kingdom and sealings, because their have been so many righteous young men killed in wars throughout the history of the world, that i wonder if maybe there will be more men available for sealings than some think. I don't know. I am one that if I had to live this, it would break something in my marriage, and maybe that is why I live now. I don't know. Maybe i just lack the right spirit. I remember that when I was in young womens, I had someone tell me that all celestial kingdom marriages would be plural. It made me have no desire to strive to be in the celestial kingdom. I no longer beleive that is true, I think heavenly father wants all of his children to have joy.
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There is this pedophile (my daughter that I only have permanent legal guardianship of it is her step grandfather) I think the *** will be a scourge upon me and my family until he dies. Is it wrong to pray that he will have a heart attack and die. He goes through the birth mother, who has the mental ability of a 12 year old and minipulates her and causes all kinds of trouble. He has gone through my other family members to try to get to her. I really border on hating his guts and hoping he dies even if we both to to h***. Any ideas on how to deal with my feelings. He hates me because I will give him no contact with her at all. He tells the birth mother lies and I have to constantly deal with the situation. Other than him dying, I will have to deal with the situation for at least 6 more years, I have already been doing this for 6 years and it is hard and I am tired.
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Do you have the same core beleifs. My only advice on making a marriage last is be 100% faithful, 100% loyal. I have been married 23 years and we have had good times and bad times. Sometimes he is the problem sometimes it is me. But because of the 100% commitment, we always work it out.
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spiritual, silly, disorganized, loyal, good hearted
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What are we to do with kids these days. I have a 16 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. I feel my daughter is the typical 16 year old. She has a slight attitude at times, but for the most part is responsible and does what she is asked to do. My son on the other hand goes out of his way to do everything he is told not to do and lies about everything. Grades in school are terrible and has been in trouble with the law before. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get through to him? I'm running out of them. So far nothing has worked. Doubled his chores, took everything he has away, no phone, no computer, no friends over. Doesn't matter, still the same.
Just a couple of thoughts, I have a very difficult 15 year old son. The only thing that has really helped us is -
1 - spending time with him. we have remodled parts of the house, worked on cars, washed walls, cooked, put in a sprinkling system, rebuilt a 4 wheeler, rebuilt a wave runner. (his attitude is not always good at the beginning but it is worth the final result)
2 - when he has gotten in trouble with the law, we are there with him but do not speak up for him or intervene with any consequences. Even to the point of going with him to turn himself in. (we have always stood by him just not in front of him and consequences)
3 - For our son karate has been wonderful. He learns dicipline and control and gets to be agressive and break boards, not our house.
4 - we have had to make a plan with him he can feel excited about. ex - when we took his phone away for summer we made a plan of how he could get it back. He then felt like he could do it when he wanted.
5 - read the book of mormon together. (attitude major again) but something about reading it together, helps us.
My boy is still difficult and like to cause caos, but we are doing better and he is a great kid, just not the same kid as his siblings. Take care
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It feels to me as if I was born in bad health, and in all likelihood will never know what wellbeing is.
Right now it's 1.22 am and I'm sitting here continually moisturising my arms because they're red and rashed from eczema -- my whole body is itchy, but not so bad.
I'm on a skin medication for another skin problem that also dries out skin, so this makes the problem even worse.
I have had a large intestine based disease since i can remember.
I have spinal issues, thus my nerves don't work properly and thus everything is out of whack because my nerve signals are not at their proper level.
It just seems like endless treatments which will never do anything. 18 years later and I've never been on more prescriptions.
I am sad that you have struggled so much with your health. I think you must be a really strong person to survive so much. I know it can be exhausting not feeling well. My christmas wish for you is that you get one really great day. Where you feel good. Just a thought I know you probably have already tried this but for the skin, there is an oil that you can put in the bath and it really helps with exema. (have 3 in my family that have really dry skin. If your hands are really bad, I have put the same oil in rubber gloves and had my h sleep with them on. Last oatmeal baths and eucerine cream (it is really thick but does the job. I hope your spirits are lifted soon and you feel better. Know we are thinking of and praying for you.
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Okay Okay I know this is a thread for "grinches"
When I started living with my family at almost 9, christmas was magic for me. We rode horses up into the mountains about the middle of december to cut down a tree for christmas then we would drag it back behind the horse. That night (after chores and cows) we would put the tree up with decorations, bubble lights, and icecicles. We would decorate our house for the holliday. My mom would make chili and sometimes homemade rootbeer. Over the hollidays we made candy for the pink lady candy sale. Boxes of food for the widows. We made sugar cookies (which took all day) and frosted them. On christmas eve my mom and dad would go shopping, my dad would buy us each a gift just from him. He would put it in a brand new paper sack and put it under the tree. We would open all of our gifts on Christmas eve and hang up our socks. In the morning santa had come and left what we desired most unwrapped under the tree for us. Our sock always had an orange in the toe. We would spend the day playing in the snow. My dad would tie my sled behind the tractor and take me in circles (I wore a helmet of course).
I want my kids to feel what I felt. (the love) The celebration was part of that. I don't think you have to overspend, but there was a joy that I felt from my parents loving the holiday. Them going shopping on christmas eve they were laughing and excited to go. I can still see the smiles that they had. I want my kids to feel like christmas is a day for time out. (from worries, bills, errands, and other stuff. It is a day to just play and eat cookies and listen to music and for mom to learn how to play halo.) I love the whole season. (but i seldom worry about the perfect gift) I make cinnamon rolls, fudge, cookies, divinity, carmels, rocky road, and ham. (how can you help but feel joy with that much sugar.) I remember president Hinkley saying something about children (I can't remember where) hoping that they would have something sweet to open on christmas.
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My oldest needs the clothes the most she was recently told she has a under active thyroid and gained about 25lbs and doesnt fit in anything she had before she moved out , so she really needs clothes bad.
when I told my youngest what the amount was going to be she acted shocked lol she knows its going to be hard to buy the kind of clothes she likes and is used to getting, but she gos off to college next fall and I told her she needs to start to understand how hard it can be and that I didnt want her to think it was going to be like living at home the clothes she would usually wear 1yr and then push to the back of the closet expecting something new to replace it but now I have told her that she needs to feel grateful for what she has I have been giving her used clothing for winter for when she gos out west she didnt understand why I was giving her used clothes but I told her to put them away for when she gos to school and when she gets out there she'll understand why, the gravey train is coming to a end she will get 100.00 a month from us for extras but she needs to get a job.
Her dad wants to send her out there with a car but I dont im not taking on the expence of insurance and gas and I dont want her to get distracted trying to make enough money to maintain a car.
what do you think about the car ??
I don't know if this would work for you or not. My kids love high quality clothes but we can't afford them so from the time they were little we go to consignment and thrift stores and they shop for what they like. We bring it home (you can get a lot for you money) I wash it spray with fabreeze or starch and iron it if necessary fold nicely tissue wrap and walah. Other than that they pick one thing they really want. The rest is usally stuff I find at yard sales and thrift stores except new socks and underwear. Hope this helps. My kids have always done this so I don't know how they would feel if they haven't done it before. I usually get my kids about 5 shirts and 5 pants for around 50 dollars. (the consignment store by me has 1/2 off days. Good luck.
Also I never had a car in college and I survived just fine.
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You're right, a lot of it is my attitude, and I'm 100% willing to admit that. I'm always the first to admit that I have pride issues and control issues. I work on them as I can and try to take it one step at a time. That's why I asked for help though. I don't want to feel this way about my sister. Like I said, she really and truly is my very best friend. I'm just so angry right now with her self-destructive behavior. That's why I decided that it would be best right now to pray for my bil and nephew until I calm down a little bit.
I also have a bad temper, and it's obviously getting the best of me right now. But I've come huge strides in the last few years and learned a lot of patience and tolerance. This is just one more thing that will teach me. Although I cannot tolerate her behavior right now, I'm at least trying to get over my anger.
Just a couple of thoughts. Have you thought it may not be anger your feeling but an incredible grief for what could have been and what still might be if she would only stop now? For me sometimes that is more the case. You can be in so much pain at not being able to save her from herself and yet be able to see what is comming for her. All you can do is pray that you can love her, pray that you can have dicernment over your relationship with her. And pray that you can comfort her when the dust all settles and help her find her way back. Like I say for me I often grieve deeply for what was, what might have been, and what could be if they would only stop now. Take care and be kind to yourself.
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Just what I am doing and thinking -
If you have money in stock and don't have to pull it out for 10 years great. The stock market is a long term investment not short term. The way I see it is you haven't lost any money until you sell. Right now we are still contributing to our 401k's in stock because we are buying at a cheap rate and when it goes up we will make money. If you were going to need to take it out in 5 yrs then I would watch it closely (because it will eventually go up) and when you can live with where it is at move it. The really smart investors are buying right now. (only good solid stocks) If it is making you crazy and your losing sleep over it then stock is never a good option for you. Just my thoughts. Also by the time you hear about a great investment it is time to sell it. You have to make investments based on what is proven good over the long term. Again just my thoughts.
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From my experience the blessings of tithing are not only for the LDS church. Any member of any church that honestly gives 1/10th of their increase to their church or even a charity is blessed abundantly. It may not be a financial thing. When we were working to get permanent legal guardianship of my now 12 yr old daughter we had very little legally to stand on. We were being threatened constantly about what would happen to us or that she would be kidnapped. One person invloved actually offered to by the birth mom a new car if she didn't sign the papers. We used every resource of money we had. We paid our tithing just before the final court hearing. I can still remember that I had 2 pennies in my pocket. (that was our net worth at the moment) I remember thinking ok we can do this. We got to court and noone was there but us, our daughter, and the judge. I will for the rest of my life have to deal with her relatives and their threats against me and my family. We are still paying off the debt created from that. We still pay tithing. The blessing for us was that when noone else in the world could have helped us the Lord intervened on our behalf and hers and helped us to get the court work we needed done. I hope someday we can adopt her (she asks all the time) but I know it will happen in the lords time not ours. We are not wealthy, but we are fine. Tithing is a blessing that the lord wants to give to us but we have to want to recieve it. Think of when you have given to your church or a charity that you love, have you ever really missed the money? Or did the feelings you had outweigh any sacrifice of the money. To me that is tithing.
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One of my sons really good friends is on a mission in Russia right now and he says the scariest thing for the people in general is the russian mafia. (just thought I would throw that in)
I went to lunch with a friend last week and she made a statement that from what she sees that we are losing our compassion for each other from what it used to be. (that is in general) But it did make me think, I wonder if it is true?
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How about some good books by lds authors that don't necessarily preach doctrine? ex one tattered angel by Blaine M. Yorgason
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Ted Bundy was mentally ill since birth. I don't know much about Gary Bishop, only the fact that he was a serial killer. Both of these men were really sick and that has nothing to do with making bad choices. I wonder what's your opinion of Ed Gein then.
Are you suggesting that pornography turns people into serial killers? I hope not. Pornography does harm some people but not in those ways that you described. People should be allowed to watch what they want or believe in what they want. Do you have any idea what people think of Mormons? A lot of people today are still very prejudice against Mormons and have these crazy ideas about the LDS chruch (The Mormon Jesus is not the same as the Jesus from the Bible, Mormons have multiple wives,...) are they right?
No!:)
Um yeah I am suggesting that about pornography. Ted Bundy said so himself before he was executed. He said it was where he started. Do I think it turns everyone into that? no Do I think it has anything redeeming or helpful to mankind at all????? NOOOO. Do I think it creates victims all over the place? Yes Does it interfere with a persons ability for compassion and love of others? Yes Do I think it can ruin lives? Yes Do I think that is what satan intends to use it for? Yes
Of course you should believe as you feel is right and i am sure you do. It is difficult for me when we live in a world where so many feel that they should only be concerned with themselves and their own. Just worry about what they teach in their homes and to their children and leave the rest to the world. I think heavenly father will hold us accountable for doing the best we can to create a world good for all of his children.
Yes I do think people should be allowed to beleive what they choose to. (me included)
Yes I know a lot are prejudice against the mormon church. We are who we are. The only way to overcome that IMO is to live our religion to the best of our ability. :)
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When I joined this site I said I was inactive, which I was. Since that point I've been bouncing back and forth to church and I'm getting really tired of it. What happens is this:
I go to church, feel like I get nothing from it, feel I don't or can't believe in some aspects so I stop going. Weeks go by and I realise I miss church. I go back. I feel nothing and get fed up with it again. And so it goes on. I am just getting to the point where I need to make up my mind what I am going to do because its killing my dh my indecision all the time. Sometimes I go to church and will feel something like maybe the spirit, and think, this is it, but when I leave it goes as if it was never there and I can't seem to recapture it. Then I doubt it was ever there in the first place.
I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation. I'm sure some people will say this is Apathy and warn me of the dangers, as given in a recentt GC talk. Even if it is, How can I overcome it? I absolutely dread Sundays as I dont know what they will hold-do I go, do I stay, what to do? I'd appreciate some thoughts thanks x x
I hope you keep going. I think that every member brings something uneaque (spelling sorry) to the ward their in. I have gotten to know some wonderful people from my church experiences. They have helped me to grow in ways that only they could have. It may be that just sitting through meetings is difficult. (that is me) I find for me that when I allow myself to feel heavenly fathers spirit, I am able to see past the facade that many put on at church. Sometimes those that are trying to put on their best face are struggling the most. Good luck and I hope things get better for you. Something that helps me is to go to church with the thought of help me know who I can reach out to today. It is amazing that I will be there and see someone I don't know all that well and feel inspired to talk to them. To tell them how cute I think their kids are. Even just to tell them that i am glad they are there that day. It helps me to feel the spirit more at church.
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There will be no consequences stemming from same sex marriage that we won't see anyway. Just thought I'd point out that Sodom and Gomorrah never legalized same sex marriage and they still got pulverized for their wickedness. The legalization of same sex marriage is not the beginning of the decay of society. We've already passed that point.
Whether or not same sex marriage is legalized, homosexual relationships will continue to gain more and more acceptance in our society. The only way to combat that is with what is taught at home. I assure you, it is entirely irrelevant what is taught at public schools as long as we are vigilant in teaching our children what is right and what is wrong.
Ok. But what about kids like me and my brothers and sisters. We were growing up with very little supervision and not much in the way of morals. Is that just the way it goes? Do people have any responsibility to us? Sometimes school is the only safe place for a kid and I think we need to do all we can to keep it that way. I remember my teacher had a big bathtub filled with pillows that we took turns reading in. What were we reading? Oh well just dick and jane, but I felt safe there. I learned math there, and spelling. Was thre a need for me to learn about King and King? NOOOOOOO. It was somewhere I got to be a little kid.
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Movies are just a form of entertainment, just like music. Everyone is welcome to watch whatever they please.
So live and let live? Just curious but wouldn't it have been nice if gary bishop and ted bundy hadn't pornography so readily available to them? Or Are we supposed to say that they just made bad choices and it doesn't affect us at all. That we have no right to interfere. ??? But what about the rights of their victims or do the victims not have rights?
By the way my LDS pics are:
Sound of music
Yours mine and ours (original)
With 6 you get eggroll
Mary Poppins
and Wizard of OZ
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In 1978 the industry of pornography had a managment consulting firm do extensive research and market analysis (to significantly increase revenue for the pornographers)
These were there findings and ten year reccomended plan.
1. Dramatically improve the aesthetic quality of the product.
2. Make the product accessible in the home without the need for patronizing the "adult theater" or "adult book store" in public view.
3. Develop a marketing strategy that would make pornography acceptable to women.
4. Use the motion picture industry to create an attitude of casual acceptance of explicit sexual material.
5. And finally, most perceptively, introduce a camouflage into the presentation of the pornography in the form of humor and/or presentations of dramatic human endeavor. (In other words, if you could associate pornography with laughter or drama the explicit sexuality would be overlooked as a necessary component of the presentation.
source - A war we must win by John Harmer
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Thanks for all your support and good thoughts. The last few days have been kind of rough. I have been trying to add more good protien to help with energy. Does anyone have any ideas for something good for you that gives a quick energy burst. As I have thought about it I use sugar when I feel poorly but have to push myself to keep going. Hopefully I will be able to quit my job in another year, but until then I have to get by. I do have an appointment with a reumetologist, but they can't see me until the middle of march, so until then I have to just keep using the meds I am on now. Thanks again.
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In 1968 a senate bill 372 was introduced in the state of CA that would create "The California Motion Picture Review Board." This state entity would be charged with the responsibility of rating motion pictures on their suitability for family viewing. The commission would develop a rating system etc.
The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) moved quickly to defeat the measure. However there was sufficient support for the measure to pass the house. Soooooo
The Industry came forward with in irresistible proposal. The state cost was estimated to be around $500,000 per year. The Motion Picture Association came forward and said in effect that if the senate would hold the bill in committee the industry (promised) to develop the very proposal contained in the bill but at the sole expense of the industry. There would be no cost to the taxpayers or the state.
Fox watching the hen house? This was 1968 it is now 2008.
source? book "A war we must win" by John Harmer (elected member of the CA state senate in 1966)
Sealing to abusive parent?
in Advice Board
Posted
Remember to have patience with yourself also. Hurts that run this deep are not easily worked through. Sister Okazaki gave a talk where she stated that the average (remember average) healing time for children of abuse is around 15 to 18 years. This may be a process you will have to work through time and again. Remember to be kind to yourself.:)