LDSVALLEY

I realize you have no idea who I am and have to take my word on what I say is truthful. I have been a member for 12 years. I do not join things ever, I do not trust what people tell me without proof and I look for all the Yea they say this but what is the real motive behind it etc. I need evidence and logic to substantiate things for me to believe. Experience and common sense tell me the church is true beyond any question. And believe me I have had low points where I tried to question it. I will also say that part member marriage can work but it is harder, both my wife and I were baptized the same day, but I have seen evidence of its workings. And yes marriage without religion can work and be wonderful but I can testify it is much harder to do so. I understand your concerns I had them also for the first few years. Are people being honest or just seeking personal salvation and not really caring etc. Saints are people. Some hold callings for the glory. Some act spiritual in church and are anything but outside. Some are dishonest, some are racist, immoral, abusive etc. From my experience after 12 years and I questioned everything and every action. I can testify that the majority of Saints are exactly what you see every day. Imperfect but trying. Today for an example in our Ward a part member family's car wouldn't start, the husband is not a member and was home but could not go pick up wife and child. One member made two trips to get them home, I went out to their home to boost the family car, dead battery. The person we pick up to bring to church didn't feel good so the RS president drove her home, then we drove a member home who was waiting fog Choir practice to finish to get a ride home. Another Less Active drove a new member to a store, he is diabetic and was going into sugar with drawl, and needed sugar right away. In total we had 11 different people provide drives to a dozen members or investigators. We had members help out three members or investigators who were not feeling well. And this is just what I personally witnessed. So yes, the church is true. Yes at least most of the people there are honestly loving you and wanting you to attend. Yes the Lord will love and bless you. Lastly remember when choices or life seems hard that we are only here for a small portion of our spiritual existence. But the choices we make carry us through. So do not stay a member or leave because someone here tells you too. Or because one choice or the other is easier in the moment. Do as the Missionaries told me to do. Read the scriptures others have posted to you, think on the words, find a quite peaceful spot and open your soul to the Lord. Then bow your head and pray. Do this a few times because if you are dealing with much termoil of the soul the first pouring out your soul to the Lord might drown out receipt of the Holy Ghost. As a former unbeliever of such things I know with no question the Lord will answer you. And know that you are not alone with these thoughts and struggles, most everyone goes through them in some manner but it is true, wonderful special and true and as a wonderful special daughter of Heavenly Father you deserve to be around that, it is a gift he has provided for you.

We have a sign on our Mission board in our ward. If you offer light unto others and it costs you a "friend" then they were not much of a friend to begin with. And as I tell our Missionaries, when they offer to share the message they have created a victory in the eyes of the Lord. Acceptance by the person it is offered too is simply bonus points. My guess from the way you have it posted is he felt guilt over his choices and pushed his feelings onto you thus his deleting. It is far easier to channel bad feelings onto others then it is to fix what is wrong in our own lives. Never stop being a Light onto the World. It was most likely the Gospel you represent he was deleting and not the person you are. I have few friends because I use my 3am measure. If a person I know is someone I can call at 3am and they will help if possible that is a true friend. Everyone else is someone I know.

I don't know for sure and wonder as my wife had two miscarriages. My understanding is that when we on Earth create a body to contain a spirit then Heavenly Father sends the spirit into the body. I have no idea when you would consider the body ready for this but have always assumed it made sense to be near the point if not the actual point of conception. My personal belief is that as soon as the spirit is within the body they become our spirit children. I believe that either the two who were never born to us but were created contained a soul. Either our next child was not ready to come into the world yet, which knowing how picky she is would not surprise me to find out. Or and more likely there are two children in the spirit world with whom I shall meet some day and be untied. I don't believe there are any scripture or direction from Prophets that completely clarify this issue but the general information about families leads me to this conclusion making sense in his plan. Equally there is a child whom we have met, who is too old to have been the spirit of one of the ones who did not join us on Earth. But the first time we met this girl we knew somehow she is or should be part of our family. No question in my mind at all that she should be in our family and I look to the time when the veil is removed and I can finally see the relationship that exists elsewhere then Earth.

At times my wife or I get stressed with life. We quickly find we are on a short fuse with each other. We begin assuming that what the other has said was critical or harsh etc. Everything is taken personally. BUT we have found a secret that works for us. One of us will get tired of the situation. Then we simply love the other. No matter what is said or how we think it was said, we overlook what we think is a provocation. The first few days can be very hard to do this but we persist. After a few days of swallowing upset feelings etc. It stops being an act, the other person stops taking things badly and we are back to a kind and caring relationship again. Remember Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results! Don't try to carry a longer fuse, just love your Mother. When it seems hard to love her act it until it becomes real. Don't try and hold your temper with her, simply love her. Might sound corny but my wife has given this advise to others and everyone it has worked for.

Welcome both to the church and lds.net. I'm new to this forum and 12 years a church member.

Food Storage can be purchased for free, and it is a great way to save money. As to starting do it slow. Work toward a weeks food storage then keep going. The free and money saving part. Say you eat 1 can of soup per day. So each week you buy 7 cans at $1.00 per can. that is $7.00 per week. Once in a while it will go on sale, lets say .50 so you buy your 7 cans and save $3.50. Now the food storage way instead you buy 14 cans for your normal $7.00 eat 7 and put the other 7 on a shelf. Next week buy your normal 7 cans, put them on the shelf and eat the 7 cans you put there last week. We found something interesting, when we did this often enough we reached what I called critical mass food storage (we are no where near a years supply) Critical Mass food storage is when we only have to buy soup on sale. We found our grocery budget can buy 20% more food for the same money when we have enough stored that beyond the basics that are perishable, we only usually buy what is on sale. When we moved six years ago I started renovating and being tight for space we let our food storage get below the critical mass level and after a year I couldn't figure out why our grocery bill was going over budget all the time. It took us 4 or 5 years, family of 5, to get back that critical mass level and our budget for food is on track once again.

Faith is believing in something without complete physical evidence it is real. I joined the church and remain an active member because I have felt the presence of the Holy Ghost in my life. After baptism it took a couple of years before I felt it's power on me, I had to grow enough first to be receptive. At the start I used simple logic, If I were a young boy and after saying I was visited by God I was laughed at, later thrown in jail, stoned, tarred, beaten up. If I had made it up I would simply say your right, I made it up forget it. And go on with my life. Only if it was real would I endure what he did. As for the antimormon stuff, I love history. Did you know thousands of people turned out in protest in England in the early eighteen hundreds and wrote lots of literature on a great evil? Men of science and education foretold mass calamity. It was over the railroad engine. The Experts produced evidence that it would be impossible to breath when the train went over 30 miles per hour. Anyone on board would die a horrible death. Get the point. When we can not explain something easily we create theory then that theory finds supporting evidence to prove what the theory is. Often the same evidence can also prove the opposite theory depending on how we apply it. In my 40 years of life hundreds of scientific facts have been altered based on new theory. I look at the anti stuff once in a while to get a feel for what New Converts and Investigators face. I sometimes make my comments but never ridicule them for what they choose to believe. They are welcome to believe what they wish, my testimony is based on logic. When I was a kid I looked into religion and it made no sense to me, why would God give people thousands of years ago Prophets but not today. Why would Jesus come when there was no photocopiers, mass communications etc and give us a religion that would become so splintered? I did not believe everything the Missionaries told me right off. But I applied logic to it in what would a loving Heavenly Father do and it all fit, that is why I joined a church for the first time in my life. And why I dedicate many hours of non work time to fullfilling my callings and supporting my wife in hers. If your testimony is still growing and is young then avoid Satan's influence. I can give you a thousand ways to discredit the LDS church based on Man's opinion and theory. But I only worry about God's opinion and I value the great work the church has done in my life and that of my family. Others can believe what they wish, it bothers me not, nor do I allow it to influence what I know is true.

I don't mind questions but I am not sure how much help I can be. I am a Ward Mission Leader so I oversee the direction of Missionary work in the Kentville Ward in Nova Scotia. I am responsible to the Bishop for the work not the Missionaries, they fall under the direction of the Mission President who oversees a large area that includes far more then our Stake. A second thing I want to make clear is that I joined as an adult convert, I never had the chance yet to go on a mission so I have no personal experience of the trials Missionaries suffer. I admire anyone who attempts a mission no matter how long or even if they ever get out in the Mission field. That being said I have, over the last twelve years of membership, watched many youth from two Ward's I've been in, go out on a Mission. One came back after a few weeks, left the church and never talked to anyone about it. Three came back early due to health, two of those continued to serve a Mission locally in a reduced capacity. One simply gave up the option and did nothing. As for the rest they shared many common traits. Most if not all were scared, would they be a good Missionary, would they be able to stick it out, would they be worthy to reach out to share the gospel, what things would happen at home, what if a loved one passed on, or a girl friend found another, or a disaster happened while they were away. Not everyone had an unshakable testimony and sure knowledge that everything would be find and that they would be a great Missionary, I am not sure if any did. They had the normal hangups every person at the start of adult hood has, and most of those hangups are around for a long time for everyone of us. But they were determined, in spite of the imperfect beings they were, to go and do the best they could, to learn, to face what may come good and bad and try. My 13 year old daughter gave a talk in Sacrament today and used an example that may help. If you look at a small stone on the ground it is hard to notice and easy to overlook. Take that same stone and hold it up in front of your eye, it blocks your vision and you can see nothing else. Your Mission is simply a stone in the path of your life, focus on the Lord, on the Eternal Picture and not simply one stone in the picture. Then you can serve the Lord and yourself in a noble manner no matter what happens with a Mission call. As far as advice on what to do, be true to yourself and the Lord. Some local Ward or Branch Mission Leaders will work hard to further the work in their area. Others will not, do what you can to support the local structure, they are your best resource or roadblock depending on their motivation. When I took over as Mission Leader in our Ward we had a real problem with members wanting nothing to do with Missionary work. ( myself included so the Lord has a sense of humor.) I worked with the Missionaries to do small things, visit members anytime they had a few minutes between appointments, get to know them, even those who brushed them off, ask for small acts of help, drink of water, washroom etc. It made a huge difference after two years, we met our Mission Plan goals this year and are one of the very few in our Stake if not the only ones who did. That was the work of many Missionaries over the last two years. I tell this to every Missionary who enters our Ward, and every Ward Missionary who is called to serve. I do not and never will care about how many baptism our Ward does. I care about how many who are baptized we retain. A Missionary who never gets one baptism on their mission is not a failure. If you go up and knock on a door you have done what the Lord expects of you. If the door is slammed in your face it is still a victory in the Lords eyes. Teaching lessons, a baptism etc are just bonus points. As for the year I have no idea I took it from what you said in the first post about the Stake President not sure if he had to wait for a full year to submit the papers. I meant what I said about it taking great courage to delay going out. It is not a sign of weakness but of courage and strength and faith to do what you did. Whatever the sins were are not important. There are consequences for that choice you made, you can not control what they are but you can control how it weakens you or makes you stronger and truer to the Gospel. If you want to do something now, offer to go out with the Missionaries in your Ward, ours are always looking for Members for appointments. Talk to the Bishop about seeing if you can be assigned as a Ward Missionary, he and the Mission Leader would need an answer from the Lord about it of course. Even without official titles you can act like a Missionary today, we are all Member Missionaries. Greet new faces, sit with those who sit alone members or not, be active in any callings or assignments you have. Call or don't call the Stake President does not matter, do what you thing is best for you. Others are correct in that this is a small stone in your path that only seems huge because you are struggling with it now which is understandable and normal. It only defines you if you allow it to. Going on a Mission or not does not create a person worthy of marriage. It helps give you the focus to choose that path without the day to day issues of life, but only you can determine who you are to be, that after all is our purpose on Earth. I know nothing about your or your situation, I can only create an image from what you have written. The first post you focused on the poor me theme. The image you created to me was an eighteen year old or so, in a Missionary suit who had done wrong admitted it but then expected everything to suddenly be fixed because you were really sorry and had repented. This second one you posted gave a different image, that of the same age and suit who stands on that same narrow path to adulthood we all go through who become adults. Unsure of which way to go or do as we all are. But trying to do what was right and not focusing on the negative. Live from that second image, be true to yourself and the Lord no matter how this turns out. Don't use being a Missionary as the path to worthiness or adult hood but continue to strive to act as an adult and be worthy as a path to being a Missionary. As a Ward Mission Leader, and in complete honesty from my experience, if you were to enter our Ward as the first image I would be asking the Mission President to transfer you out to another Ward because you seemed so focused on how wronged you were. On the other hand if you showed up as the second image I would thank the Mission President for a Missionary like that. We all make mistakes, those Missionaries who have made some serious ones, or those who had questions about even going out are the ones who best reach people who "live in the material world." A Missionary who expects others to solve the problems they create, and well intended or not they do, is a liability. One who admits and works with others to create solutions are a Godsend. The "problems" that caused you to wait can make you a very good Missionary, we have had two that took quite some time to decide to go on a mission and they have been outstanding Missionaries in our Ward. One last thing, remember I do not really know you or your situation, take what you will from what I said, but my words are as subject to misinterpretation or misunderstanding as yours or anyone else. Turn first to the Lord, your family and those you know and trust and who know you, that is where the best advice comes from. If you come to our area and you are being the best you can be then I hope I am still a Ward Mission Leader because I would enjoy working with you.

You say you are going back and forth on the desire to serve. The Lord knows this, The Stake President might very well have done what he can and is waiting an answer. Those who make the choice need to confirm with God, he might not be ready yet. As a Mission Leader, I would rather see you wait the full year, to give you a chance to prepare and make ready your testimony and dedication to going. There is no shame in admitting you were unready the first time. But if the church says you need to wait a year, it is with good reason. The Stake President might do you and the Lords Plan a disservice in getting you to the MTC before you are really committed and ready. I don't want Full Time Missionaries who are perfect, they do not exist. I do want ones who understand the trials that adult converts have had and who are willing to work with a Ward to insure the investigator and the Ward are ready for the baptism. What happens if they come back and say you must wait the full year? or even longer? Do you chose an opportunity to gain spiritual strength? Or do you get angry about how the church is against you? Do you say, Okay, it gives me time to become more ready? or do you say heck with it, I won't waste anymore time? In your statement you said you want to on a mission so you can marry a type of girl upon return. That could be why you have yet to hear an answer. The privilege of going on a mission should be two fold, to help to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man and to put you on course over two years of service to be the best person, spouse, parent etc that you can possibly be. Your stated goal would mean if you came back and she didn't wait or who ever you married left you later then your mission was a waste. You showed great courage to do what was right and go home to straighten things out. Do not stop there. Show more of that great courage to prepare yourself to fulfill your Mission no matter how long it takes. For the sake of those you will contact, for your companions and for your own spiritual well being use that great courage to insure you are going out to serve the Lord and yourself. Take whatever time you need to be completely ready. Then you will be the Missionary the Lord needs you to be.

Welcome, my Duh was phoning the Mission office when we first heard about the church and asking if Mormons celebrate Christmas. After a long pause the reply came back we are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My Wife and I joined together but we are the only members in either family to do so. And yes we heard the same stuff. When the Missionaries explained the Priesthood I said it looked like a male dominated group. It took me time to realize it is not, both are equally important we just have different responsibilities under his Plan. My wife is not dominated by me or any male in our church, I know because I am still alive. I told them they would never convert me, I did not believe in organized religion. I've been a member for 12 years and you are right there is something special about most of the people in it. When I took the time to learn and pray to the Lord about it it felt right, like I was where I should be. That is the big thing for me, we take what we learn and pray to the Lord, not just accept someones interpretation of what is said. That is freedom. Hope you enjoy the site and investigating.

Go to the Gospel Principle manual, last section on Life after Death and read the three chapters. Your questions will be answered about duration etc along with scripture reference. If you don't have one go to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints website and go to Sunday School classes then pick Gospel Principle book, you can read it on line.

The Gospel Principle book covers spirit prison in the last unit. See my earlier reference on this subject with what it says about whom goes where. Or read the chapters in the GP book, as it is for New Members it gives the information easy to follow and includes scripture reference.

I am sad to read this post, we recently had a family leave the church and take another with it because some from another religion ganged up on them about this very scripture. Alas they did it quietly requesting no contact at all so we are unable to even attempt to counter what was said. We only know because they tried to talk a New Convert into leaving as well. What was said about it being for revelations is of course accurate. The other things to remember is that the Book of Mormon is not adding to the bible. It is a separate book for a separate people. It compliments and adds to our understanding. Besides which, the Vatican and other religious organizations have admitted several times that not all scripture that they have is part of the Bible. Men sorted through the different fragments and translations of the Scriptures and decided among themselves what would make up the bible. Locked away in vaults around the world are fragments and complete books of scripture that never have made it into the bible. Does that mean they would be added to the bible and thus incorrect. Other Religions have argued about this before the Book of Mormon ever came around. I had once heard the King James Version was considered a violation of this as it altered content and meaning of the various translations. As for the board you are on. This is the sixth or so I have looked into. I got tired of all the rest arguing constantly no matter what evidence etc you provided. I asked in one if this is a religious site why are so many non believers here. I don't have a huge interest in cars so I don't join car forums, why waste the time.

Trust me I have had the same with our Full Time Missionaries. We baptized a youth of two non active parents who is now 10. Even thought I really don't have a say in it the spirit told me it was not time yet. She needed to attend classes not just sacrament. She needed to feel a part of primary and understand. And her parents needed to get on board with their own needs. But I was over ruled. We baptized her on a Saturday, two weeks later she showed up for her confirmation and that was it for the last two months. I really had to pray about this as I was asked to baptize her myself. Since I felt it was wrong should I do it. But since the Bishop had supported it and the Mission President was in favor she was getting baptized anyway and if I refused it might decrease the potential of her staying active. The previous two years before I was Mission Leader the Ward met its Baptism goal each year. In total 24 members were baptized. Two of which were in December of the last year. In March when I was called the retention level for those two years was 4 members. The Missionaries like to quote that it is better for someone to receive the Holy Ghost who can then work on them to allow them to grow. My view is when we baptize someone who is not ready yet, we make them more accountable for their actions but they are not ready for that level of accountability. I stress continually that retention is more important then baptism. If we do everything we can to help someone and they leave then we are not accountable to the Lord for our part. And believe me I take everything to the Lord, I even get the Progress reports two days before meeting with Missionaries to ponder and pray over the people.

Again from the Gospel Principle Lesson 45 on the post mortal spirit world it states that when we die we will take our attitude and convictions with us. Therefore if someone has rejected the gospel on Earth for whatever reason their opinion of the Gospel and or the church is going to be negative in the post mortal spirit world. Look at Lamen and Lemual. They beat up Nephi and get lectured by an Angel. Later they bound Nephi and leave him to die, he is freed of course. When the confront him about building a ship he zapps them with the power of God. On the seas using the ship God had them build they get ticked of again and tie him up only to face horrible storms until he is freed. In the New World they attempt to kill him only to have the Lord provide an escape. How many times did they have clear proof that Nephi was under Gods hand and they get dumped on everytime they defy him. Yet they continue down the same path. It will be no different for us in the spirit world. We have to overcome ourselves to be open to the Gospel. Imagine what state those two are in when confronted with the reality. Humans are good at denial to not be proven wrong. I grant you that I purposely left the membership issue vague when dealing with the spirit world as everything I have read says those who accept the gospel of Christ. And While I believe the LDS gospel of Christ is the correct version, I do not know since I am but a mortal who is learning, exactly where Heavenly Father and Christ draw that line in relation to other religions. As I tell Investigators and New Members we have to remember that we can only think within the limits of human beings and not spiritual beings. As long as the important stuff makes sense to me I don't worry about the minor issues that might not be clear until the veil is passed.

I didn't read all the replies so it might have been answered. Chapter 45 in the Gospel Principle book which is for people investigating the Church or newly joined deals with the Post Mortal Spirit World and talked about Spirit Prison. People who have accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives and held to the covenants they made go to paradise waiting for the second coming. Spirit prison is called this because people in it do not have the ability to leave it on their own and go into paradise. Much like there are different levels of prisons here on Earth you could look at Spirit prison the same way. The majority of people in it are in the equivalent of minimum security. There is no torment, punishment etc. They are there until the learn of the Gospel, the ordinances required are done on Earth and the Spirit accepts the Gospel. Then they are free to travel to paradise. Those who were evil, fought against the Lord etc are in maximum security. There is punishment, pain and darkness. They are there until after the millennium. Then their torment shall end and they will also have one last chance to choose good over evil. As the unit previous to this one teaches in that book, during the millennium righteous people no matter if they are members or not of the Church of Jesus Christ or Latter Day Saints will be upon the Earth. While it does not state I have to take this in conjunction with the above to say that the righteous in the upper levels of Spirit Prison will be released at the start of the millennium. So you can look into joining the church now, you can learn of it after mortal death and hope someone does the work for you on Earth, or you can wait for the Millennium and decide to do it for yourself!!! It is all good and the Lord gives us plenty of chance for changing our minds!! Seriously our church teaches, but not everyone gets it, that being righteous is what is important and that any religion even those who don't support Christ makes someone a better person and spirit of the Lord then not believing in the Lord at all. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true and I know for my family it is a great blessing. But the Lord allows us the choice to believe what we will and I support everyone's right to believe what they will even if it is different from mine.

At first we denied our eldest had ADHD, when I finally agreed to get the papers to have her tested I went over them with the worker and said this was dumb, I had most of what they listed and I'm not ADHD, I was around 37 then. To prove them wrong I allowed them to test me. What a difference in my life now that I know I am ADHD and have medication to help. My first issue with testing our daughter was I didn't want her dopped up on meds. Only when we saw the doctor for myself did I realize that the medication used is actually uppers, they increase energy not decrease. But it allows the brain to function better. Getting to our daughter we had an awful time with her at first. Not listening to anything or anyone, having trouble at school, us punishing her for bad behavior etc. Now at 13, she was tested at 8, she is a great kid most of the time no matter if her pills are still in her system or not. Here is what we found helped. 1 We provided, with her input, a list of guidelines for appropriate behavior and activity as well as consequences for violating them. We then posted it where we could all see them. That way when she went past what she was allowed we were able to keep calm and simply point out which guideline was broken and she could see the required consequence. 2 ADHD children need stability and structure so chores, rewards etc were also posted. An important item that we missed at first is that detail is required. Simply putting clean up bedroom was not enough. Instead under bedroom cleaning would be put clean cloths in dresser and closet, take dirty cloths and put in bathroom cloths hamper, pick toy box toys up and put neatly in top box etc. This worked much better. 3 Generally we set small time limits for things. Instead of clean bedroom until clean it is usually clean for only 20 minutes. If she does this even every other day then the room is fine by weeks end. If it passes muster then a reward is given. 4 One on one time with each parent is also a good reward and helpful for both sides. 5 Diet and sleep also play roles in this. The less sugar etc that she takes in the better. And the more sleep ADHD gets the better. Alas this is one area that the medication has a negative effect on, I speak from personal experience. 6 Electronics an hour or less before bed, at least for all the ADHD people I know are bad as it stimulates the brain and makes it harder to sleep. 7 Activity, but at least ending an hour before bed, is a wonderful thing for ADHD as well. 8 For school structure is again important. A homework notebook, color tabing different subjects or using different binders helps much. Our oldest has been lucky these last few years with understanding teachers that once we met face to face, explained what we were doing and what problem areas might arise, were willing to create a system to help. 9 When the Medication wears off our daughter, maybe me too but no one says, she seems to drop 4 years emotionally and the way she acts. We have to insure things like homework etc are done before this point otherwise it is an uphill struggle. While we allow for this regression we do not allow her to use it as an excuse to not carry out her responsibilities. 10 At first we tried to keep it somewhat quite to avoid having her labeled. But we found it was hurting her emotionally like she had a sickness that could not be talked about. Now we stress that it is a gift, there really are many benefits of ADHD as well as the pitfalls. ADHD kids and adults can focus in on issues and make connections that others would not see. They can multitask with many different projects because the generally only work on any one for a short period so variety keeps them moving along but not grow weary. There are more. Properly structured and motivated ADHD kids can accomplish great things. Our third and youngest child, now 9 probably has ADHD but because we were prepared from our first and myself we have not so far reached a point where we needed to have him tested. One thing did happen with him however, I was renovating the house and was putting up gyprock with all the related sanding. During the week I was working on it he became very angry, a simple 15 minute time out changed into me physically being between him and my wife to prevent him from kicking or hitting her in his anger. We were at the point of taking him in when I finished the work and suddenly he was normal again. Allergies can take many forms and his was too dust we found out. Instead of illness because of his potential ADHD it effects his brain and his ability to rationalize and control himself. Sorry this is so long, I hope some of this helps, if you have any questions let me know, or if you need to vent. If I can't help my wife might be able to.

We have a home computer and a lap top. Our kids (13,10,9) have to have permission to use either of them and they are sitting in the living room six inches from the coach. We do not have special safety features on it but they know the few sites they are allowed to go to. They are not allowed to touch them when we are not in the house. Our eldest tried to do it once when we were out, but was unpleasantly surprised when I not only told her she had done it but gave her every site she had gone too. (History is a wonderful thing and even if they delete it you still know they were at the computer.) We use computer time, except for school projects, as a reward for chores done. Usually 15-30 minutes per day per child max. If two of the three are away somewhere and only one is home we might allow them an hour. As for Television we also limit the amount of time and the types of shows. They get maybe an hour before supper and sometimes another after if everything is done. A weekend or Saturday afternoon might include a rented movie. In the summer each child gets control of the television for 1/2 hour and they can combine to choose another giving them two hours of television during the summer. Overall it seems to work, our eldest walked out of a school shown movie once and told the teacher she didn't think her parents would feel it was appropriate. It is often harder on us parents as we were not raised in the church and there are many shows we would have loved to watch 15 years ago that are no longer appropriate. And if we tried our kids would quickly correct us. If you start out with correct behavior and instill and teach the Prophets teachings on these issues then they have no room to barter with you and you are not the fall person. At first it is difficult but now they know they cannot go to parties on Sunday, or watch certain shows or roam the internet.

I kept trying to think of some wonderful advise to give. Either some profound spiritual words or strong personal testimony that could help. The truth is that if those around him who love him and know him can not find ways to help then nothing I could suggest would help him any better. Sometimes we have to look at what is best for ourselves and those we are responsible for. We have our Agency to choose. He knows the gospel, he knows what is right and he knows what is at stake. When things like this occur people focus in on the issue and without meaning too.The person hears nothing but helpful advice that comes across to him as putting him down as unintentional as that might be. Maybe all you can do is let him know a door is open anytime he decides to walk that path and focus on helping your sister. Help her make healthy choices for her family and herself. Her testimony is also at risk in such a situation. With the struggles she is having it would be cracks in anybodies faith no matter who they are. It must be hard on your entire family, spend some time keeping yourselves united and strong. Shift the focus off him and onto yourselves and your sister and her family. Don't exclude him but shift focus so it is not about him. Help all of you remain close to the Lord. If the focus comes off him, he sees his extended family becoming stronger there is a chance his agency and his testimony will bring him around. If not, then your family is strong enough to support each other as your Sister and children adjust to what ever the future brings. I am impressed with the efforts your family has made to try and help. Just focus on what you can effect, not what you would like to. ........Peace be with you and yours.

True, but I have gained 30 pounds this year, not sure I want to increase temptation!

That is a good idea. I always sit down with them and explain the mission plan, the goals, my way of operating. Then role of a Ward Missionary and our need for them to be active and be a part of the planning of things. But I never thought to put it to them first. I will do this with the next ones we call and try and back date it with those already called. Thank you very much for a good idea.

I never worry about numbers other then retaining the majority we baptize. The only reason we even have a goal on our Mission Plan for 2008 was the Bishop and Stake made me put something on. I follow the Lord's plan. I wanted nothing to do with Missionary Work. I was an EQ Councilor and at a RS and EQ meeting we had an issue with Missionary work and I got elected to present it to the Bishop. I ended up emailing it instead of PEC to give him advance notice about it. The night before PEC I was up all night (less then 2 hours sleep)with Mission Plans in my head enough for a four year plan! The Bishop was not at PEC but our Stake Visitor instead of meeting with individuals wanted to meet with EQ, HP, and RS together. I was 2nd councilor so I NEVER attended these but ended up being the only EQ rep available. I told the RS president as we waited I didn't care what it was about as long as it was not Missionary work. HE was the High Councilman for Missionary work in the Stake! And had a new plan for retention that fit in with the concern we had tried to share with the Bishop and along with the plans in my head the night before. That Friday there was a baptism, before we left I felt the urge to dig out the Preach My Gospel book we had bought two years previously at the request of the Bishop for all members to do so. I had never opened it nor ever planned to. In the hour I had before we left I went through it cover to cover. At the Baptism the Bishop mentioned he wanted to speak with me. Going in I told him what he wanted to see me about, gave him a four year plan for our Ward and accepted the call as Ward Mission Leader. 2008 was the focus on Less Actives, we laid out a plan and it fell apart from the beginning. I was upset by mid year when I thought we were way behind. Until I sat down and looked at the numbers, I realized that we were doing a wonderful job with the Less Actives this year. In spite of the fact the human element was not working, because it came from the Lord he was making it work ins spite of our imperfection. I know the Lord called me for this. I know I am following the plan he gave me to the best I am able. I know it is the best calling I ever had. But it is more difficult when we can not get the Ward Missionaries to catch the vision. Our goal for next year is 1/3 higher then this year. The number the Lord gave me each time I prayed was 2.5 times this years. But without the Ward Missionaries backing this we are going to have a harder time of making it. Again retention is always more important to me then baptism.

I've been Ward Mission Leader for 18 months. We have good and bad full time Missionaries come and go. We are being the Leader in our Stake for Baptism's this year and if the two we just set for this month go through we will meet our yearly goal. Our retention level is high as well which is more important to me then baptism numbers. But I can not get Ward Missionaries motivated to attend meetings and fulfill assignments. I have spent the last 6 months teaching almost all the new member lessons for 5 New Converts. I have tried different things to get them on board. Perhaps it is me, although I try to give assignments and encourage individuals to use their abilities to carry them out in what ever way they wish. We have replaced many Ward Missionaries but still can't seem to keep them united as a group effort. Anyone have any ideas on what can be done ?

Up here in little Nova Scotia Canada we have no cannery. I do not even know if there is one in Ontario about 16 hour drive away. Our Stake boundries would take around 12 hours at 60mph or 100km to drive around it. Somewhere in our Stake we supposedly have 1 dry pack canner, I can not confirm this as I have never seen it in 13 years as a member in two wards. We have no choice but to can our own stuff, which my wife and I started doing when we moved into the Valley where we now live. We all pitch in and grow our garden then can much of it. It is hard for me to imagine being able to walk into a cannery, work a few shifts and walk out with some food storage. We once had Sisters in our other Ward organize a bulk buying group where they posted bulk sales, took orders, picked up from discount bulk wholesalers and distributed to those who requested it. They did it as a service to members and paid their own gas. After a year they quit doing it. First members complained about the size of purchase needed so these kind Sisters divided the bulk purchase into smaller bags. Then members complained about how the smaller sizes were packaged, and couldn't it be delivered to their homes instead of having to come to church to get it! It would be nice to have had a cannery in the area, maybe those ungreatful members would have learned something.

I was on that ride for some time, I averaged 18 months between talks and 8 months in a calling before being released and called to something else. In my 12 years in the church I have served in every auxiliary except RS as I am male and ones requiring being a High Priest. I was a clerk serving with the Bisopric however. When I was interviewed for EQ from Clerk I looked the Stake President in the face after having it extended it to me and my entire reply was. "Why not I'll be released in 8 months." and walked out. 8 months later, guess what? I was released. I have been WML for 18 months now! Very cool. I can not speak for other Wards but I have witnessed the Bishopric down on knee praying earnestly over someone and a calling. I have seen them not get confirmation and not call someone they really wanted to. I have learned an interesting tidbit recently that might explain the merry go round events. A situation at a welfare meeting gave me insight. An auxiliary leader had prayed about a member and received confirmation that they were the one for an assignment. The Bishop had prayed and gotten a different answer. This made no sense until I listened to what they prayed about. The leader prayed for the needs of the person wanted for the role. The Bishop prayed for those the role would interact with. Since they did not pray for the same thing there was two different answers. A person can be equally needed for Primary and EQ thus every time a Bishopric prays they receive a yes. Because I have served in so many areas I have a solid understanding of the interrelations between auxiliaries and their different needs as well as how it all relates to new members. As a result our ward is better at coordinating the needs of new members with all the auxiliaries, we are far from perfect but better. While some leaders do not take enough time to get information from the Lord, I know all the Bishops I have had do. Therefore there is a reason I was bounced so much for so long as frustrating as that was. I just hope I bounce no higher!