Jamie123

I believe I've had one today and that God has blessed me. Yesterday I met up with my wife in Kingston and we had a meal together. She told me that our daughter (child) misses me and wants to see me again. She (they) miss the fun times we used to have together which surprised me a lot. I thought that since "growing up" she (they) considered me an embarrassing old nutter who pretends to be a Yorkshireman, tells stupid jokes, disrespects all her (their) sacred cows and pulls faces at BMW drivers, who wants steering well clear of. (Except of course as a source of cash.) But it seems I misread the situation somewhat, which is hardly surprising as I haven't seen her (them) to speak to in nearly a year. Anyway they both want us to meet up as a family again soon. This morning I took some things over to my wife's new apartment and we had a lovely time, having breakfast at McDonald's. It was really lovely to be spending time with her. I don't see us moving back in together for a very long time (if ever) but I can see this new situation working. She is happy, and that is what is important to me. So is my daughter (child). I've just got to learn to bite my tongue and not press her (their) LGBTQ buttons. Anyway after that I went back to the university and marked about a dozen exam scripts, then went and bought a brand new lawnmower, assembled it and cut the grass in the front yard for the first time in a year. Only stopped working when it got dark. It may sound ike nothing but it's the most I have achieved on a Saturday for many a month. (OK I also had a rant about Nazis and Mormons, Left Behind and Penelope Pitstop, but darkness within light, yin and yang. No one changes completely in one day.)

Forgive my frightful cynicism, but considering that six million Jews were murdered by the Nazis, why is it such an amazing miracle that 85 Americans weren't? You see this sort of thing everywhere, and not just in connection with the Latter-day Saints. The more we identify with a group or individual, the more we think it a miracle/tragedy if they live/die. Two examples: The traditional ending to the Church of England Intercessions: I've always refuse to say "Christian". It seems to me that if someone is not a Christian, they need our prayers more rather than less. We pray for other Christians, yes of course we do, but (unless we're the most frightful hyper-Calvinists) we pray for everyone else too! A sillier example: In the Left Behind books, Nicolai Carpathia - who is really the Antichrist - starts giving people the "Mark of the Beast" (actually a microchip similar to the ones they put into cats and dogs). Our heroes are terrified that Christians will be forced to submit to this, and drastic steps must be taken to rescue them. It never occurs to any of them that it's the Christians who are in the least danger! I can't believe I wasted so many hours on those ridiculous books; they make the Beast and the False Prophet into a kind of Abbot and Costello double act (which might have been quite funny had it not been intended seriously*). The only person the "Tribulation Force" even tries to convert to Christianity is a rather annoying woman who they think might turn them in. Instead they threaten to tell everyone she's a lesbian if she squeals. OK...ok...there's also the Jewish guy whose name I can't remember, who Internet-preaches from his underground bunker, but he's the exception. Aside from him, it's just a series of attempts to infiltrate Carpathia's headquarters and muck up his plans for world domination, which they would have known (had any of them actually read the Bible) was going to happen anyway. Wouldn't they be far better employed spreading the Gospel, so as many names as possible could be in the Book of Life when the end came? (Sorry...rant over.) *I suppose this is an example of the "stupid villain" trope. A villain can't just be evil - he has to be stupid too. Other examples are Dick Dastardly, Gargamel, The "Hooded Claw" (villain of The Perils of Penelope Pitstop - who was not the same as Dick Dastardly whatever you think you remember**!) and Dr. Smith from Lost in Space. **Dick Dastardly was never in The Perils of Penelope Pitstop. Not even once. The villain was Sylvester Sneakley, a.k.a. "The Hooded Claw". I have wasted much breath trying to convince people (including my own brother) of that fact. So don't go there 😆.

That poor woman!

I've just been listening to my favourite songs by Lady Antebellum and the Dixie Chicks, and having a good cry, but thanking the Lord that Confederate Railroad are standing firm against the evil tide of Wokery. But we need a special hero! Will Brer Rabbit rise from the grave to save us in our hour of need? Brer Rabbit meets Brer Woke One satisfactual day, when Brer Sun was shining mightily amongst the clouds, Brer Rabbit was hopping down the road. And who should Brer Rabbit meet but Miss Meadows and the Gals, out for a stroll. "Good day to you ladies!" said Brer Rabbit as he hopped past, but when he noticed the look on their purty faces he stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh, Brother Rabbit!" said Miss Meadows. "We have just met that frightful gentleman Brer Woke, and he's looking for you!" "He sure is, Brer Rabbit!" cried the Gals. "He's in a mean mood! He's snaggletoothed and double jointed..." "...and YOU're the man he's after!" added Miss Meadows, unnecessarily. "Oh, don't you be worrying about me, Ladies," said Brer Rabbit. "I've outfoxed Brer Fox and Brer Wolf and Brer Bear more times than I can count! Why, as for that Tar Baby..." "Yes, we know, Brer Rabbit!" said Miss Meadows. "But we fear Brer Woke may be another matter! He's had poor Uncle Remus banned! He's had trigger warnings put on Mary Poppins and he's forced Lady Antebellum and the Dixie Chicks to change their names! Poor Scarlett O'Hara won't be saying 'Fiddle De Dee' again for a long time, and he doesn't give... er...a darn about Rhett Butler. He's after Confederate Railroad and Shania Twain and all the Zippedy Doo Dah in the world won't save you this time!" To be continued...

And the Moon on a Stick! The Moon...on a Stick!

For no particular reason, here's a picture of Bo Derek how she looks today. Call me white knight, but I dont think she's aged at all badly.

"All free today!"

Are you sure about this? From the CoC website: "Community of Christ uses the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants—not to replace the witness of the Bible or improve on it, but because they confirm its message that Jesus Christ is the Living Word of God". Maybe the distinction is they don't believe the BoM has anything new to add. Having read the BoM myself, I find the most striking "new idea" to be "Christianity before Christ". Although the Old Testament certainly foreshadows the coming of Christ, we don't really see people we would refer to as "Christians".

Would you say it was any stranger than Protestants and Catholics using the same reading schedule? (Which they do.) But it's not important - I was just curious.

Interesting. Similar to the Common Lectionary. Is it also used by the CoC and the Strangites and all the other Book of Mormon churches?

That's interesting - this schedule is for the whole LDS Church?

Perhaps my memory's playing tricks on me ... I thought I posted one of his videos and you said you initially liked him but later thought he was concentrating too much on what was wrong. I removed the video link in case it violated some forum guideline, so its hard to check. Maybe you're right - perhaps the video I posted was Hello Saints and not this guy. I miss our BoM reading group. That was a good experience.

You probably know by now, the guy has just been baptised LDS. Does that mean you like him again now @zil2? 😁

Nicky nicky Jack Nicholson gets well and truly "nicked"*, and all the bullying bluster in the world won't save him this time! Tom Cruise was "meh". Demi Moore was OK. But Jack Nicholson was totally the star of this movie! * British slang "to be nicked" is to be arrested. Also to "nick" something means to steal it.

"Name them two by two, and it will surprise you what the Lord can do" (Not as amusing as "While shepherds wash their socks" or "Jingle bells, Batman smells")

If the entire movie had been up to the standard of that scene it would have been awesome indeed!

Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings was another example. Although Bakshi's movie is a mess, I think this scene was way better than Peter Jackson's. It is much closer to the book, and Annette Crosby has the perfect voice for Galadriel.

She-Ra was always criticized for giving unrealistic bodily expectations to young girls. (You don't get big breasts AND a tiny waist - its one or the other or neither.) No one ever mentioned that no one looks like He-Man either!

I remember the He-Man/She-Rah cartoons where at the end of each episode the moral lesson would be pointed out. It was usually something like "Don't kick the bad guy when he's down, even if he is a jerk" or "you won't have your grandparents forever ever, so appreciate them while you can". Not bad really, for a franchise that was mostly about selling plastic junk.

He would get better business if he gave out lollipops 🍭.

It occurred to me this evening for the first time - ever - that if Mother and Father Bear swapped clothes, Mother would look exactly like Father and Father and Father would look exactly like Mother.

How do you fit four elephants in a Mini? Two in the front, two in the back. How do you know if an elephant's been in your fridge? Footprints in the butter. How do you know if two elephants have been in your fridge? Two sets of footprints in the butter. How do you know if three elephants have been in your fridge? Three sets of footprints in the butter. How do you know if four elephants have been in your fridge? There's a Mini parked outside.

In the same noble tradition: Why didn't worms go into the ark in pears...I mean apples? Oh drat!

This one always cracks me up... What do you call a boy with a paper bag over his head? Russell.

Why can you never find any aspirins in the jungle? Because parrots eat 'em all.