PastorBob

Sometimes, when we are too busy searching, blinded by personal desires, wants, and goals, we lose sight of everything else, and the Truth we once knew, cannot present itself; there is no time for finding in the search. In order to know what one had, one had to lose it. Luke 15:11-32 11. And he said, A certain man had two sons: 12. And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. 14. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. 15. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. 17. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18. I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19. And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. 20. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. 22. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23. And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. 25. Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. 26. And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. 27. And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. 28. And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. 29. And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: 30. But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. 31. And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. 32. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

Well, as a Gnostic, faith as in believing things not seen, is evil, regardless of what it is. I was taught to search out and find proof. I did both. I had to work with, in the beginning, a foundation of utmost skepticism. I was told that, if I did not find proof, my search was wrong. Eventually I was too tired with seeking to continue to do so, at that moment, when I stopped, I found.

I've always felt that these two chapters go well together. THE FIRST BOOK OF NEPHI HIS REIGN AND MINISTRY CHAPTER 8 Lehi sees a vision of the tree of life—He partakes of its fruit and desires his family to do likewise—He sees a rod of iron, a strait and narrow path, and the mists of darkness that enshroud men—Sariah, Nephi, and Sam partake of the fruit, but Laman and Lemuel refuse. Between 600 and 592 B.C. 1 And it came to pass that we had gathered together all manner of seeds of every kind, both of grain of every kind, and also of the seeds of fruit of every kind. 2 And it came to pass that while my father tarried in the wilderness he spake unto us, saying: Behold, I have dreamed a dream; or, in other words, I have seen a vision. 3 And behold, because of the thing which I have seen, I have reason to rejoice in the Lord because of Nephi and also of Sam; for I have reason to suppose that they, and also many of their seed, will be saved. 4 But behold, Laman and Lemuel, I fear exceedingly because of you; for behold, methought I saw in my dream, a dark and dreary wilderness. 5 And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me. 6 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him. 7 And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste. 8 And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies. 9 And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious afield. 10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one chappy. 11 And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen. 12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit. 13 And as I cast my eyes round about, that perhaps I might discover my family also, I beheld a river of water; and it ran along, and it was near the tree of which I was partaking the fruit. 14 And I looked to behold from whence it came; and I saw the head thereof a little way off; and at the head thereof I beheld your mother Sariah, and Sam, and Nephi; and they stood as if they knew not whither they should go. 15 And it came to pass that I beckoned unto them; and I also did say unto them with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable above all other fruit. 16 And it came to pass that they did come unto me and partake of the fruit also. 17 And it came to pass that I was desirous that Laman and Lemuel should come and partake of the fruit also; wherefore, I cast mine eyes towards the head of the river, that perhaps I might see them. 18 And it came to pass that I saw them, but they would not come unto me and partake of the fruit. 19 And I beheld a rod of iron, and it extended along the bank of the river, and led to the tree by which I stood. 20 And I also beheld a strait and narrow path, which came along by the rod of iron, even to the tree by which I stood; and it also led by the head of the fountain, unto a large and spacious field, as if it had been a world. 21 And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood. 22 And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree. 23 And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost. 24 And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree. 25 And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed. 26 And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the cair, high above the earth. 27 And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit. 28 And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost. 29 And now I, Nephi, do not speak all the words of my father. 30 But, to be short in writing, behold, he saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree. 31 And he also saw other multitudes feeling their way towards that great and spacious building. 32 And it came to pass that many were drowned in the depths of the fountain; and many were lost from his view, wandering in strange roads. 33 And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not. 34 These are the words of my father: For as many as heeded them, had fallen away. 35 And Laman and Lemuel partook not of the fruit, said my father. 36 And it came to pass after my father had spoken all the words of his dream or vision, which were many, he said unto us, because of these things which he saw in a vision, he exceedingly feared for Laman and Lemuel; yea, he feared lest they should be cast off from the presence of the Lord. 37 And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them, and not cast them off; yea, my father did preach unto them. 38 And after he had preached unto them, and also prophesied unto them of many things, he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord; and he did cease speaking unto them. John 19. 19:1 Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged [him]. 19:2 And the soldiers platted a crown of thorns, and put [it] on his head, and they put on him a purple robe, 19:3 And said, Hail, King of the Jews! and they smote him with their hands. 19:4 Pilate therefore went forth again, and saith unto them, Behold, I bring him forth to you, that ye may know that I find no fault in him. 19:5 Then came Jesus forth, wearing the crown of thorns, and the purple robe. And [Pilate] saith unto them, Behold the man! 19:6 When the chief priests therefore and officers saw him, they cried out, saying, Crucify [him], crucify [him]. Pilate saith unto them, Take ye him, and crucify [him]: for I find no fault in him. 19:7 The Jews answered him, We have a law, and by our law he ought to die, because he made himself the Son of God. 19:8 When Pilate therefore heard that saying, he was the more afraid; 19:9 And went again into the judgment hall, and saith unto Jesus, Whence art thou? But Jesus gave him no answer. 19:10 Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee? 19:11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power [at all] against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin. 19:12 And from thenceforth Pilate sought to release him: but the Jews cried out, saying, If thou let this man go, thou art not Caesar's friend: whosoever maketh himself a king speaketh against Caesar. 19:13 When Pilate therefore heard that saying, he brought Jesus forth, and sat down in the judgment seat in a place that is called the Pavement, but in the Hebrew, Gabbatha. 19:14 And it was the preparation of the passover, and about the sixth hour: and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your King! 19:15 But they cried out, Away with [him], away with [him], crucify him. Pilate saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief priests answered, We have no king but Caesar. 19:16 Then delivered he him therefore unto them to be crucified. And they took Jesus, and led [him] away. 19:17 And he bearing his cross went forth into a place called [the place] of a skull, which is called in the Hebrew Golgotha: 19:18 Where they crucified him, and two other with him, on either side one, and Jesus in the midst. 19:19 And Pilate wrote a title, and put [it] on the cross. And the writing was, JESUS OF NAZARETH THE KING OF THE JEWS. 19:20 This title then read many of the Jews: for the place where Jesus was crucified was nigh to the city: and it was written in Hebrew, [and] Greek, [and] Latin. 19:21 Then said the chief priests of the Jews to Pilate, Write not, The King of the Jews; but that he said, I am King of the Jews. 19:22 Pilate answered, What I have written I have written. 19:23 Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took his garments, and made four parts, to every soldier a part; and also [his] coat: now the coat was without seam, woven from the top throughout. 19:24 They said therefore among themselves, Let us not rend it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be: that the scripture might be fulfilled, which saith, They parted my raiment among them, and for my vesture they did cast lots. These things therefore the soldiers did. 19:25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the [wife] of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. 19:26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! 19:27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own [home]. 19:28 After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. 19:29 Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a spunge with vinegar, and put [it] upon hyssop, and put [it] to his mouth. 19:30 When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost. 19:31 The Jews therefore, because it was the preparation, that the bodies should not remain upon the cross on the sabbath day, (for that sabbath day was an high day,) besought Pilate that their legs might be broken, and [that] they might be taken away. 19:32 Then came the soldiers, and brake the legs of the first, and of the other which was crucified with him. 19:33 But when they came to Jesus, and saw that he was dead already, they brake not his legs: 19:34 But one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water. 19:35 And he that saw [it] bare record, and his record is true: and he knoweth that he saith true, that ye might believe. 19:36 For these things were done, that the scripture should be fulfilled, A bone of him shall not be broken. 19:37 And again another scripture saith, They shall look on him whom they pierced. 19:38 And after this Joseph of Arimathaea, being a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, besought Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus: and Pilate gave [him] leave. He came therefore, and took the body of Jesus. 19:39 And there came also Nicodemus, which at the first came to Jesus by night, and brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about an hundred pound [weight]. 19:40 Then took they the body of Jesus, and wound it in linen clothes with the spices, as the manner of the Jews is to bury. 19:41 Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein was never man yet laid. 19:42 There laid they Jesus therefore because of the Jews' preparation [day]; for the sepulchre was nigh at hand.

Gnostic Christian.

Not Jesus Himself, no. But, are not the miracles worked through his followers enough, when they are done in such a manner as would convince even the most die-hard skeptic? The Holy Spirit is with me always; testifying His presence through that peace which is priceless, and cannot be moved due to any event or lack thereof in happenings in the outer world, such as gain or loss, love or enmity.

Through the proofs: Mark 16:17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

I read above that you are a Buddhist, and as such, perhaps a more Eastern look at the trinity of "Father, Son, and Holy Ghost" is in order; they are synonymous with the "Sat, Tat, and Aum" of the Eastern faiths such as Hinduism and Buddhism, only the outward manifestations are different. Sat, Tat, Aum: ‘For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son’. – John 5:22. ‘No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him’. – John 1:18. ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father’. – John 14:12. ‘But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said to you’. – John 14:26. These Biblical words refer to the threefold nature of God as Father, Son, Holy Ghost (Sat, Tat, Aum in the Hindu scriptures). God the Father is the Absolute, Unmanifested, existing beyond vibratory creation. God the Son is the Christ Consciousness (Brahma or Kutastha Chaitanya) existing within vibratory creation; this Christ Consciousness is the ‘only begotten’ or sole reflection of the Uncreated Infinite. Its outward manifestation or ‘witness’ is Aum or Holy Ghost, the divine, creative, invisible power which structures all creation through vibration. Aum the blissful Comforter is heard in meditation and reveals to the devotee the ultimate Truth’. (Autobiography of a Yogi (The Original 1946 First Edition) by Paramhansa Yogananda;Chapter:14:‘An Experience in Cosmic Consciousness’: (www.crystalclarity.com/yogananda/chap14/chap14.html).

There are two bible verses which clearly and most accurately describe the difference between feelings and proof: Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Hebrews 11: 6 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I enjoy "The battle hymn of the republic" by Julia Ward Howe.

President Benson made a very excellent speech on those here:

Let's not argue and fight, friends. We all want to "contend for the faith" at one time or another, but we all need to recognize that what may be right for one person may not be right for another. That includes my own as well as yours, and we should never try and push our views onto others. I haven't the slightest desire to convert a single person here, I only want to learn from others and share what has helped me grow closer to God, and instead of fighting over doctrine, let's all work together.

In a nutshell, addiction and most sins are symptoms of being spiritually unconscious, which is the real problem. Waking up alone can cure it. Fighting with it instead of the unconsciousness causing it, makes it stronger.

It is quite clear what it is in the bible: Jesus cast out devils, the clergy of his day didn't want his competition, so they told everyone that he was possessed himself, to which he replied, in no uncertain terms, that satan's power cannot do good, cannot heal, cannot cast out, else his kingdom could not stand. If someone attributes this to satan, then they blaspheme the Holy Ghost. Matthew chapter 12: 12:26 And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand? 12:27 And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your children cast them out? therefore they shall be your judges.

Exactly! The more you fight against an addiction the stronger it becomes - and it can never continue in the light of awareness. A pornography addict, for example, is usually in a lot of turmoil other than just addiction, a peaceless inner state, and knows no higher joy than one based on the senses. The more he fights sensual pleasure, the more he is drawn to it. But... when he understands this, and starts seeking out, and finding, the joy of the soul, he finds that the former addiction, and its feelings, were inferior, and the addiction drops. Fighting with the branches of evil only makes them grow back with extra vigor, like a fruit tree. We have to go for the root to cure the actual problem. Most sins are but symptoms of harboring darkness within.

Anyone can avoid the touch of satan by focusing on the light. The worst thing is to blank out your mind, that is the doorway to possession, which is why it is so loved by satanists, and once they are possessed, they start feeling that nothing is true, that everything is permitted, that the world and desires are all that matter, and then the materialism of the devil sets in. It is common for people to see the light, ain soph aur, directly when the possession wears off. Whatever you focus on fills your mind, and if material things, one becomes material, if spiritual, then one becomes spiritual. If the object one is spending all their time focusing on is "dark" enough, possession results. And the only way out of it is to replace it with the good, be it under whatever form the person sees it as good. I have personally witnessed quite a few obsessions, though about 75% of them were suppression of parts of oneself which had become so strong from the opposition that they overwhelmed the person, but the rest were from dabbling with satanism or media created by people who were into it. One case was a teen who was using an ouija board - in and of themselves they do nothing, but he became so frightened of it, and unable to divert his attention from that fear, that it consumed his mind until he was an embodiment of it. The common factor of possession is fear. St. Paul said that a perfect love casts out all fear, so when the object of fear is present, an enemy, spirit, or whatever else, the mind must be diverted to love and held there. We all have to face the devil someday, perhaps in the form of an enemy, an evil person, a demon, etc, here on earth or after death, and if fear (the feeling of the vacuum from the sudden withdrawal of love from the spiritual body) is felt it is a sign that love at all times, including of enemies, and trust in God, is not being adhered to.

Blasphemy against the Holy Ghost is to attribute beneficial thaumaturgical power to Satan, it is the rejection of the knowledge because it does not pander to one's prejudices, and the reward of it, is to have to learn the hard way regarding the matter in question, thus it is not "forgiven" ie; passed over, as opposed to having to learn life's lessons. Matthew 12: 18 But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.

As a Gnostic Christian, our view of Jesus is a little different than mainstream Christianity, in that we believe that Jesus was the first creation of God, and that we, excluding Jesus, began misbehaving, and God was going to re-absorb and dissolve us, then Jesus said he didn't want new company, but for us to be fixed, so the world was made to contain us until we "get back on track." The world is filled with warriors and betrayers, and the greater the one, the greater the other to be attracted to them to be betrayed or punished, until we will do neither. We recognize the words in 2nd Peter 3:12 'Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?' as referring to the dissolution of all matter once everyone is finished getting back in line. Thus everyone is already saved whether they accept Jesus or not, but how long people find themselves tarrying in the world depends on their own personal effort. We also recognize reincarnation and karma from several bible verses: John 9:2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? (He had to have sinned in a former life to be born blind.) Matthew 11:13-14 For all the prophets and the law have prophesied until John. And if you are willing to receive it, he is Elijah who was to come. The old testament prophesied that Elijah, not someone like him or in the same ministry, would come prior to Jesus, and he did. Thus everyone is saved already, but has to work out their issues before they can go home to God. Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Only ego and mortals punish... After death, during the life review, people throw themselves into hell when they realize they spent more time chasing (thinking about or desiring) after whatever over God. Exodus 20:2-3 I am The Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt (materialism), out of the house of bondage (attachment to the world). Thou shalt have no other gods (anything soever) before Me (in your heart). Most only spend about 1-5% of their time pondering over God, if that, and it needs to be 100%. No matter what is happening, pleasing God within us all should be #1, not trying to satisfy our own personal desires. Selflessness is Self, and only the one who has given to oneself until overflowing and spilling onto others is truly selfless.

This is a transcript from tonight's sermon, and I thought that people here may wish to read it: Let's begin with these passages: James 4: 1From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. If you want to free yourself from any sexual or other addiction, you need only realize and apply a few things; whatever you fight with makes it more powerful until it consumes you. Every person without exception is seeking universal consciousness, call it God if you will, and nature has ingrained a few things into us which give a glimpse beyond the body – love and intimate relations. Both do nothing more than shut down the mind, shut down the wants, shut down the seeking for a moment, and then a glimmer of the thoughtless state is perceived – but only a glimmer. To overcome desire one has to move through it – it will stop on its own in the clarity of awareness. Desire is a symptom of being divorced from your inner connection to God, it is not the problem. Only in unconsciousness of oneself can it occur, only in mistaking the object of the search can it occur. Seeking and desiring is an innate quality placed in us to return us to our source – God, and God being beyond the senses, if we become associated with our objectified existence, the body, we start looking for something detectable by the senses to content us. You must find a way beyond the mind. How? You must watch, not resisting, not condoning, but simply watch, without judgment of yay or nay about anything. Let that awareness grow and all things which are not in alignment with your true will drop away. Fighting with desire cannot kill desire; it can only suppress it causing it to grow stronger. Before one can cure a problem one has to stop fighting with it. Every time it arises in you, look for where it is coming from. You will surely find it is coming from a feeling of incompleteness. Why? Only you are complete, not your thoughts, not your mind, not your body. Where are you when everything arises? You have forgotten yourself trying to lose yourself in the body, or in another person, or in entertainment. Entertainment is moving away from yourself, it is forgetting yourself for a while. It is a trap. One’s innermost being is already happy, only looking away for a cause of this happiness must be rejected. You are lonely, you wife comes to you, you feel happy… you were looking away from yourself with the desiring of company, and her coming… simply shut down your wanting mind. Peace is the cessation of movement of thought. It does not matter whether you put your mind on uplifting things, or down pulling things, putting the mind somewhere makes it move, for better or for worse, but all dualities flow into each other – only temporary solace from the raging ocean of the moving mind can be found, when a wave peaks – and what goes up must come down. Stopping the mind altogether alone can bring a lasting peace. Some will only know it in their graves, when the mind disintegrates leaving their soul visible, which formerly beneath the clouds of unceasing thought could not be seen. All of one’s DOING simply stirs up more movement of the mind. Sitting by silently and only watching, as if it was nothing more than an illusionary screen showing a play, will cause all movement to settle down. If a river is dirtied, do you go and try to bail out the mud? You will only succeed in stirring up more. If you sit and stop doing… it cleans itself up. So is all desiring. In my younger years, I used to smoke cigarettes – twenty unfiltered lucky strikes every day. One day I realized this, and by applying it, I woke up one morning… I thought to myself, I feel very clear. I was feeling so calm, that smoking was no longer necessary. I threw the pack, and the habit, into the trash, and never experienced so much as a craving. I had found freedom not only from smoking, but all stress. Not only was I trying to lose myself in smoking, but in company, in family, in entertainment, in alcohol, in acceptance from others… In the light of an awake consciousness no dirt can enter – that only comes from unconsciousness, instead of being with oneself, running from oneself into something else, thinking that only darkness is within. It is quite the opposite. Sooner or later, whatever you lose yourself in will fall apart, time, age, death, and you will be thrown back to yourself, into the heaven or hell you were all along carrying. If you have a hell within, it is unquestionably from not knowing your true nature. We must never think of a mistake as being an indication of what we are, nor listen to those who try and tell us that they are (they are more interested in getting the attention that you being ok with yourself); mistakes are teachers of what we are not. A mistake is having missed the mark – you are the mark, not the miss. When you find awareness, you find freedom from desire, and in finding freedom from desire, you find that priceless peace which is beyond any pain or pleasure. Dependant on nothing, thus cannot be lost or swayed by any happening. It is said that the first thing Satan taught man on being cast from heaven was self-defense. Not only against other people, but against oneself. Turn to John 8: 44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. Satan wants people to fight - their enemies, their desires, fight with anything. Jesus said in Matthew 5: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Those in Satan's power are addicted to fighting - and how better to wage his wars than to make people frustrated, then vent that pent up energy in say, the army? Behind every outlet of frustration, the result of being led astray from God in your heart, are people who are under Satan's power. They create the drugs, the entertainment, the politics, the pornography. How do we fall into these traps? Being estranged from ourselves. Thinking that happiness has a cause - I tell you, that happiness is the foundation of life, and that all misery is from being estranged from it. Clouded judgment is the source of the blinding mists which lead to misery, and from misery, into sin. Why do some people struggle with unhappiness, being unfulfilled and other problems their entire lives? They are fighting - with the branches of evil, which ignoring its root; satan's voice, the conscience, telling someone what they need, or that they are evil - and how can someone be good, and do good, if they believe that they are evil, or have evil qualities? It cannot be done. A person may be ignorant or wise, but all of their evil is coming from the former. (Closing) I see we've run late, so we will continue tomorrow morning at 9, etc.

Count me in, on the discussion, but I probably will not have time to do heavy reading except on weekends, excluding Saturday evenings.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO On Sin and the Shedding Of the Fig-Leaf Aprons MIRDAD: You have been told of sin, and you would know how Man became a sinner. And you declare – and not without a merit – that if Man, the image and the likeness of God, be a sinner, then God Himself must be the source of Sin. Therein is a snare for the unsuspecting; and I would not have you, my companions, ensnared. Therefore would I remove this snare from your path that you may remove it from the paths of men. There is no sin in God, unless it be sin for the Sun to give of his light to a candle. Nor is there sin in Man, unless it be sin for a candle to burn itself away in the Sun and thus be joined unto the Sun. But there is sin in the candle that would not forth its light, and when a match is applied to its wick, it curses the match and the hand that applied it. There is sin in the candle that is ashamed of burning in the Sun; therefore would screen itself away from the Sun. Man did not disobeying the Law; rather by covering his ignorance of the Law. Aye, there is sin in the fig-leaf apron. Have you not read the story of the fall of Man, so frugal and naïve of word, but so sublime and so subtle of meaning? Have you not read how Man, when fresh from the bosom of God, was like an infant God – passive, inert, uncreative? For though endowed with all the attributes of godhood yet, like all infants, was he incapable of knowing, much less of exercising, his infinite capacities and talents. Like a lonely seed encased in a beauteous vial was Man in the garden of Eden. A seed in a vial will remain a seed, and never will the marvels sealed up within its skin be stirred to life and light save it be hid in a soil congenial to its nature, and the skin thereof be broken. But Man had no soil of his nature to plant himself therein and to sprout forth. His was a face nowhere reflected in a kindred face. His was a human ear which heard no human voice. His was a human voice which echoed back from no human throat. His was a heart which beat a lonely unison. Alone – so utterly alone – was Man amid a world well paired and launched upon its course. He was a stranger to himself; he had no labor of his own and no set course to follow. Eden to him was what a comfortable crib is to a babe – a state of passive bliss; a well-appointed incubator. The tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil, and the tree of Life were both within his reach; yet he would stretch no hand to pluck and taste of their fruit; for his taste and his will, his thoughts and his desires, and even his very life were all wrapped up within him and awaiting to be slowly unwrapped. He, by himself, could not do the unwrapping. Therefore was he made to yield out of himself a helpmeet for himself – a hand that would help him unwind his many wrappings. Where else could his help be got save from his own being so rich with help because so potent with divinity? And that is most significant. Not a new dust and breath is Eve; but the very dust and breath of Adam – a bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Not another creature appears on the scene; but the self-same single Adam is made a twain – a He-Adam and a She-Adam. Thus the solitary, unmirrored face acquires a companion and a mirror; and the name unechoed in any human voice begins to reverberate in sweet refrains up and down the alleys of Eden; and the heart whose lonely beats were muffled in a lonely breast begins to feel its pulse and to hear its beats in a companion heart within a companion breast. Thus sparkless steel encounters the flint which brings forth its sparks in abundance. Thus the unlit candle is set a-light from both ends. One is the candle, one is the wick, and one is the light, though issuing from seemingly opposite ends. And thus the seed in the vial finds the soil where it can germinate and unfold its mysteries. So does Unity unconscious of itself beget Duality, that through the friction and opposition of Duality it may be made to understand its unity. It that also is Man the faithful image of and the likeness of his God. For God – the Primal Consciousness – projects of Himself the Word; and both Word and Consciousness are unified in Holy Understanding. Not a punishment is Duality, but a process inherent in the nature of Unity and necessary for the unfolding of its divinity. How childish to think otherwise! How childish to believe that so stupendous a process can be made to run its course in three-score years and ten, or even in three-score millions of years! Is it so small a matter to become a god? Is God so cruel and miserly a taskmaster that, with all eternity to give away, He should allot Man no more than so brief a span as seventy years in which to unify himself and regain his Eden fully aware of his godhood and his unity with God? Long is the course of Duality; and foolish are they who would measure it with calendars. Eternity counts not the revolutions of the stars. When Adam the passive, the inert, the uncreative was made dual he forthwith became active, full of motion and able to create a procreate himself. What was the first act of Adam made dual? It was to eat of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil and thus to make his whole world as dual as himself. No longer were things as they were – innocent and indifferent. But they became either good or bad, useful or harmful, pleasant or unpleasant; they became to opposing camps, whereas before they were one. And the serpent that beguiled Eve to taste of Good and Evil, was he not the deeper voice of active, yet inexperienced, Duality urging itself to act and experience? That Eve was the first to hear that voice and obey it is no wonder at all. For Eve was the whetstone, as it were; the instrument designed to bring out the powers latent in her mate. Have you not often stopped to visualize the first Woman in this first human story stealing her way among the trees of Eden, her nerves on edge, her heart a-flutter like a bird in a cage, her eyes searching everywhere for possible detection, her mouth watering as her trembling hand reached out for the tempting fruit? Have you not held your breath as she plucked the fruit and sank her teeth into its tender meat to taste a momentary sweetness which was to turn into everlasting bitterness for herself and all her progeny? Have you not wished with all your hearts that God would forestall Eve’s insane audacity by appearing to her just as she was about to commit her reckless deed, and not afterward as He does in the story? And having committed her deed, have you not wished that Adam would possess the wisdom and the courage to abstain from being her accomplice? Yet neither did God intervene, nor Adam abstain. For God would not have His likeness unlike Him. It was His will and plan that Man should walk the long way of Duality in order to unfold his own will and plan and unify himself by Understanding. As to Adam he could not, even if he wished, refrain from partaking of the fruit tendered him by his wife. It was incumbent on him to eat of it simply because his wife had eaten of it, for the two were one flesh, and each was accountable for the other’s acts. Was God indignant and wroth because Man ate of the fruit of Good and Evil? God forbid. For He knew that Man could not but eat, and He wished him to eat; but He wished him also to know beforehand the consequence of eating and to have the stamina to face that consequence. And Man had the stamina. And Man did eat. And Man faced the consequence. And the consequence was Death. For Man in becoming actively dual through the will of God had forthwith died to passive unity. Therefore is Death no penalty, but a phase of life inherent in Duality. For the nature of Duality is to make all things dual and to beget for everything a shadow. So Adam begot his shadow in Eve; and both begot for their life a shadow called Death. But Adam and Eve, though shadowed by Death, continue to have shadowless life in the life of God. A constant friction is Duality; and the friction gives the illusion of two opposing sides bent upon self-extermination. In truth the seeming opposites are self-completing, self-fulfilling and working hand in hand to one and the same end – the perfect peace, and unity, and balance of Holy Understanding. But the illusion is rooted in the senses, and it persists so long as the senses persist. Therefore did Adam answer God when He called him after his eyes were opened, ‘I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.’ Also, ‘The woman thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.’ No other was Eve but Adam’s very bone and very flesh. Yet consider this new-born I of Adam which, after its eyes were opened, began to see itself as something different, apart, and independent of Eve, of God and all of God’s creation. An illusion was this I. An illusion of the newly opened eye was this personality detached from God. It had not substance, nor reality. It was born that through its death Man might come to know his real self which is the self of God. It shall vanish away when the outer eye is darkened and the inner eye is illumined. And though it baffled Adam, yet did it strongly intrigue his mind and lure his imagination. To have a self which one can call entirely one’s own – that is indeed too flattering and too tempting to Man who has no consciousness of any self. And Adam was tempted and flattered by his illusionary self. And thought he was ashamed of it because too unreal, or too naked, yet would he not part therewith; instead he clung to it with all his heart and all his new-born ingenuity. And he sewed fig leaves together and made him an apron wherewith to cover up his naked personality and keep it to himself away from the all-penetrating eye of God. So Eden, the state of blissful innocence, the unity unconscious of itself, fell away from the dual fig-leaf aproned Man; and swords of flame were put between him and the Tree of Life. Man walked out of Eden through the twin gate of Good and Evil; he shall walk in through the single gate of Understanding. He made his exit with his back to the Tree of Life; he shall re-enter with his face to that tree. He set out on his long and trying journey ashamed of his nakedness and careful to hide his shame; he shall reach his journey’s end with his purity unaproned, and with his heart proud of his nudity. But that shall not come to pass until Man by Sin be delivered from Sin. For Sin shall prove its own undoing. And where is Sin but in the fig-leaf apron? Aye, nothing else is Sin but the barrier that Man set up between himself and God – between his transient self and his abiding Self. At first a handful of fig leaves, that barrier has come to be a mighty bulwark. For ever since he shed away the innocence of Eden Man has been very hard at work amassing more and more fig leaves and sewing aprons upon aprons. The slothful are content to go on patching up the rents in their aprons with shreds discarded by their more industrious neighbors. And every patch in the garment of Sin is sin, for it tends to perpetuate that shame which was Man’s first and very poignant feeling upon his detachment from God. Is Man doing aught to overcome his shame? Alas! All his labours are shame heaped upon shame, and aprons upon aprons. What are Man’s arts and learnings but fig leaves? His empires, nations, racial segregations and religions on the war path, are they not cults of fig-leaf worship? His codes of right and wrong, of honour and dishonour, of justice and injustice; his countless social creeds and conventions – are they not fig-leaf aprons? His valuing the invaluable, and measuring the immeasurable, and standardizing that which is beyond any standard – is not all that patching the overpatched loin-cloth? His gluttony of pleasures that are rife with pain; his greed for riches that empoverish; his thirst for mastery which subjugates, and lust for grandeur that belittles – are not all these so many figleaf aprons? In his pathetic rush to cover up his nakedness Man has put on too many aprons which in the course of years have stuck so tightly to his skin that he no longer distinguishes between them and his skin. And Man gasps for breath; and Man appeals for relief from his many skins. Yet, in his delirium, Man would do all things to be relieved of his burden except the only thing that can in truth relieve him of his burden, and that is to throw off that burden. He would be rid of his extra skins while clinging to them with all his might. He would be denuded, and yet remain fully dressed. The time of denuding is at hand. And I am come to help you shed away your extra skins – your fig-leaf aprons – that you may help all yearners in the world to shed away theirs, too. I only point the way; but each shall do his shedding by himself, however painful be the undertaking. Wait not on any miracle to save you from yourself, nor be afraid of pain; for naked Understanding shall turn your pain into an everlasting ecstasy of joy. Should you then face yourselves in the nakedness of Understanding, and should God call to you and ask: “Where are you?”, you would not feel ashamed; nor would you be afraid; nor would you hide away from God. But rather would you stand unshaken, unbound, and divinely serene, and answer back to God” ‘Behold us, God – our soul, our being, our only self. In shame and fear and pain have we walked the long, and rough, and tortuous path of Good and Evil which you have appointed us at the dawn of Time. The Great Nostalgia urged our feet, and Faith sustained our hearts, and now has Understanding lifted our burdens, bound up our wounds, and brought us back into your holy presence naked of Good and Evil, Life and Death; naked of all illusions of Duality; naked of every self except your all-embracing Self. With no fig leaves to hide our nakedness we stand before you unashamed, illumined, unafraid. Behold, we are unified. Behold, we have overcome.’ And God shall embrace you with infinite Love, and straightway shall lead you unto his Tree of Life. So taught I Noah. So I teach you. Naronda: This also was said by the Master around the brazier.

Some sects, particularly some Catholics, actually teach that adherence to extremes is a sign of demonic possession; it is said to be how Satan's mind works - if he cannot have everything, he will have nothing. James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." meaning that if he cannot get total control, he will leave. To escape dualism, when anything soever arises, it must be united with its opposite, so that they cancel each other out, leaving the Truth, which was previously invisible behind the cloud of duality.

In my humble opinion, I have to go with #3. Every single word in the bible has a precise double-meaning, one literal, and one which is to be had only through the numerical value using the Hebrew Qabalah.

I'm a firm believer of listening to one's intuition. If you have doubts or feel estranged about anything, then simply walk away. If you would prefer to simply attend your church's services but do not wish to carry an authority there, then listen to your heart. Many years ago when I was a small child to be baptized, I had a strong feeling to avoid an official baptism, but I went ahead anyway, and ended up with two lungfuls of water. My father had been a Lutheran pastor and was in charge of it, and said he had never seen anything like it in all the years he was directing them. Sometimes we need to listen to our ourselves and avoid falling under opinions which may block us from being able to hear our own inner voice. I am not a Mormon, but a friend of mine is a Stake President, and he told me, that he has always felt that what really counts in the afterlife is not our outer life adherence (15:8 This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.), but how much light we are able to bring into the world, and how unified with God we have become. I feel the same way on the matter, and that first and foremost, Jesus's commandment here is of primary importance in any consideration: Matthew 22:35 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, 36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. If you feel that there is something in particular which will bring you closer to God, then you must do that, and if you find something distancing you from God, then you should remove it.

1. Timothy 4:1-6 1: Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2: Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; 3: Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. 4: For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: 5: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. 6: If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained. This is deeply symbolic, especially on the eating of meats. Acts, 10:10-16 And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: Wherein were all manner of four-footed beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice [spake] unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, [that] call not thou common. This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven. These "meats" to be killed and eaten are the goyim (cattle in Hebrew) which Peter was avoiding as a Jew, but Jesus here commands him to bring the truth to them. The conscience seared with a hot iron does not mean it is dead; a horse branded goes wild and begins to buck on contact. It is listening to it, when it tells a person to do evil, or to torture themselves for having not done enough; both end up sinning sooner or later from the pain it is causing. Verses 4: For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: 5: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. 6: If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained. To understand these verses we must go back to Genesis and look at the first "unclean beast" the serpent, which crawled on its belly. Leviticus 11:41-45: And every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth shall be an abomination; it shall not be eaten. Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon all four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they are an abomination. Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby. For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. For I am the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy. Normally, these are unclean, but when they are sanctified with prayer they are clean. They were referring to the people who would be, and as is clearly outlined in the old testament, they would not mix with anyone who was not also Jewish. The apostasy, may be taken to be a falling away from this, and descent into uncontrolled acts, not sanctified through prayer, which give birth to abominations. It is more of an individual happening, and not en masse, albeit for this act, much like the establishment of truth, two must be involved, a speaker, and a listener. Forbidding to marry may be taken to be the sin of Onan as well, and this is commonly practiced today in modern society, though with different methods than was done in those days. In 1st Timothy, we read "seducing spirits." Genesis 38:9: And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.