kiwii

Thanks. Nah, I'm just here to speak to someone. Just passing through. :)

Short answer: Yes. I was a convert that resigned and had my name removed from the rolls. At one point I began looking for answers to the questions that led to my leaving. I fully expected that I would be returning to the church. During that time I was also attending meetings, studying in the Institute library, and attended a couple of Institute classes & events. All of this to say, the Bishop of the ward I was attending was very helpful and friendly. He did do some sort of check to verify my status, and assured me afterwards that I would be welcomed back and what steps would be involved (I had not been excommunicated; nor had I targeted the church). Like others have said: attend meetings; talk with the Bishop. But I am telling you from first-hand experience. I hope that you find comfort in this and can move forward with your desire to return to the temple. Don't worry about your file. Be honest and sincere within your own heart and trust that He will lead you to where you need to be. Like my grandmother would say, "Turn it over to the Lord." p.s. I haven't been here in years. What are the chances that I would see your post? eh?

In another forum, someone recommended a book by Harriet Lerner, called The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate. The author is apparently well known for another book called, The Dance of Anger. I ordered both from the library and just got the Connection one so far. It's pretty interesting.

Rest assured that a time will come when you will look back at this and see that it was all to your good. Maybe there is something for you to learn in this... or maybe you will be placed in a mission at a certain time for a certain purpose. Whatever the reason, there is a purpose that is for the Good.

1. I'd make it his job, and tell him exactly why.. citing the incident you described above. 2. I'd get rid of the television. He can earn it back by maintaining the laundry. (or, if it were me, a multitude of other household maintenance chores.) You asked how you can stamp down the anger. I think, rather, a balance needs to be achieved so that you are not in a position of being dominated by your children. Maybe family counseling would help in this regard?

Rachel, you believing that it "wasn't really him" may be part of the problem. Certainly he will never consider repentance if he does not hold himself accountable for his own actions. I also have some mental/emotional issues, so I'm saying this as someone who has been there -- who is there. I hope you will give this some thought. I'm sorry that you're in such a confusing situation. (Been there too!) I surely do sympathize with you and wish you the best.

Marty, Thank you so much for this thread. Thinking about the question has given me a lightbulb moment on how to apply Faith when it does not already exist, and especially when things seem overwhelming or scary. Exactly what I needed for my current circumstance! Things are looking a whole lot brighter.

Faith. The Faith of a child - complete and total trust and acceptance that it is. No expectations, no concern for the outcome... it just is. edit: which isn't to say that G-d is restricted to only healing those with Faith, or that Faith guarantees healing. Part of having Faith, I think, is acceptance that all things are done according to His will.

I view Faith as being independent of any expectation for the future. Hope, to my way of thinking, has more to do with understanding.

I once heard my mother call my name when I was shopping in a nearly empty hardware store. It was so clear that I turned, expecting to see her at the end of the aisle. I even searched the store for her. Called her from a payphone and it turned out she'd been 'frantically' trying to get ahold of me. Seems she'd had a run-in with my future mother-inlaw over wedding plans. You know, one of those life-or-death situations.

Rich, It occurs to me that no one has mentioned how important intercessory prayer is for effective counseling. I'd assumed that your daughter is seeing a Faith-based counselor... but just in case, I thought I'd mention it. Sometimes we miss the most obvious things.

I thought it was, "Satan is the father of lies" To my way of thinking, this implies that we have no free agency. Deception of any kind, whether you're 'technically' being honest or not, with the intent to improve your circumstance or further your own cause, is clearly unacceptable. Anything else is a matter of conscience. Personally, I'd rather not be debating fine points come Judgment Day. As for lying to help the Jews, I'm in agreement with Pam. I cannot accept that such an unselfish act of compassion could be of the devil. Edit: Oops... I missed a couple of posts while writing this.

My heart goes out to you. I must disagree with Elphaba as to whether your daughter may have been helped in such a short time. I myself have been in counseling for only six weeks and there has been tremendous improvement. Just to say that each person is different. You may have noticed that some of us can be pretty vehement. For me, I wish that someone would have protected me from a known abuser. Be that person for your daughter. It's not too late. Let her know by your actions that she has a place to turn when she needs help. Let her know that she is valued. You are her Father.

Deseret Book puts out a CD by John Bytheway called "The Best Three Hours of the Week." I think you'd enjoy it, it's very good. (Thank you for your kind post. It meant a lot to me.)

Okay, I think I've got it. In my situation, I believe Elder Scott's initial comments to the perpetrator are applicable (please forgive the alterations): Now, to the [victim whose life has been shattered]: recognize that you need help with your [fear] or it will destroy you. You will not overcome it by yourself. You likely need specialized professional help. I plead with you to seek to be rescued now. If fear prevents me from doing what I am supposed to do, then I am transgressing against God regardless of why I am fearful or whether I can overcome it on my own. Just like the perpetrator, who was probably a victim of abuse too. At least, that is the way I see it. Any thoughts on this? This topic is much on my mind. I appreciate your responses.