pooter1

One thing I would do as soon as possible is get a blessing to make sure there are no evil spirits are in you. Pray,go to church,read your scriptures,stay very close to members of the church, go to activities,let your home teachers come teach you. Stay as close as you can second by second to your Heavenly Father.

I am liking all these ideas. Prepare,Pray,Class discussion,Rein them in when getting off topic,study the new youth program,follow the spirit.......I guess Pray should be first on this list. Did I forget anything?

Thank you for the kind words.I went to the training of the new youth program and I think I am going to follow what they are doing. More of a class discussion then me teach you answer questions.What do you think? Bad idea?or Good idea? When the Bishop called me I just started crying in his office. I don't want to do this but maybe you guys are right it is mainly for me and what I will learn. I just wish the thoughts in my head would come right with my words.

I have been called to my worst fear of callings that I always said i would never do but said yes to anyway.........Gospel Doctrine teacher. I am PETRIFIED!!! I am like moses and can't say my words right.I have made people upset on this very forum because I don't know how to say what I want to say. I am so afraid of being judged with this calling.There are soooooo many educated people in this class and Im not one of them. What is the Lord thinking???!!!!!

Thanks for the link tubaloff.I will try those.

Skippy,That was funny! Thanks everyone.The Isaiah part Im guessing has to do with the second coming but it just doesn't make sense to me. Im going to go visit feast up the word see if that will help.

Feeling guilt is a good thing.Its a warning signal that something is not right.You are having normal feelings but need to learn how to keep them under control.Go talk to your Bishop he knows what to do.He has the keys to know what Heavenly Father wants you to do and will know what to say to help you overcome this.

I have always always skipped 2 Nephi when reading the BOM.I don't understand a word of it.I am struggling and pushing forward to read it this time around and I might as well be reading a different language.How do converts read this and feel the spirit and have an understanding? If I were a convert I would stop reading the BOM when I got to 2 Nephi

Same thing happened to my son.He wore the spikey look back in the 90's. He was told he couldn't pass sacrament until he changed his hair style. The boy sitting next to him blessing the sacrament had told him about porn he had been looking at but it was my son that got the talking to because of the way he looked.He never got over that. He is very anti mormon now.He said he didn't want to be in a church that judged you on the way you looked. I agree with him to a point.

It is very rare in my ward to find good visiting teachers and home teachers.The last time we saw our home teacher was about a year ago. I don't know if its like this everywhere or not. I do know about depression. Going to the temple has helped more than anything I have ever tried.Work towards going to the Temple.I will be glad to be your friend and talk with you.I suffer from depression,anxiety attacks and low self esteem.I think the low self esteem comes from the attacks I have and not be able to control them at times. You are loved.I pray every morning for people like us.Go the temple, read your scritpures,pray,go to the church,pay your titihing and you will receive blessings.This is the only way I have ever found any peace.

Thinker,Your comment has made so much sense to me. I have never ever thought about that. I loved the line It doesn't help to feel obligated to do more,when you feel behind in other ways.Thank you. Im not for sure how to love myself.How does one do that?

Went and talked with my bishop last night.He said some things that made sense to me. I still get to be a Temple worker.I do believe that Satan can get in our way and make bad things happen to us.I also believe that God can find a way out.Im just so tired of waiting.

I have given it some time for the things to calm down in my life since my last post. My husband and I were called to be Temple Workers 4 weeks ago.Ever since that has happened all heck has broke lose. You know about some of my problems with my son,sewer problems.fridge breaking,car breaking,strep throat, and then yesterday son was in a wreck and broke his arm. I understand that satan is unhappy with me but if God isn't going to find a way out for me then I have to do it. Bills are piling,we are now juggling our bills.Testimony is going down fast!! It never ever ends. I don't tell people my problems because Im afraid they won't believe so much that happens to me and my family. Here is the other big problem.I said yes to being a Temple worker and I feel like I do not belong there.I have always had a problem with the Temple and how cultish it feels to me.If I tell this to my Bishop will I be an apostate? Is it right for me to still be a temple worker? I still feel uncomfortable there and Im doing temple work!!! I thought saying yes would help me gain a testimony about temple work and help my life become a better life.It has been sorrow after sorrow ever since I said yes.What am I going to do?????

I am thinking my meds need to be adjusted also.I have been on the same meds for 20 years.I never thought about that.I am going to go look through these talks.Thank you all for trying to help me.This sure is cheaper than therapy.

Thank you so much.I have read all of these comments and i have pondered on them.Everything everyone is saying is true. I don't what the future holds.Im just hanging on.The last couple of days have been ok except the anxiety and anticipation of what is going to happen next. I truly truly am thankful I can post my feelings and get feedback.It feels good to just vent.

My friends think I should kick my son out of the house.How can I do it? Hes my son with a mental problem. Where will he go? How will I not lose my mind and not worry myself sick over him?

Marlin 1, I believe everything you just wrote but the closer I get to God the worse things happen in my life.I have not prayed this week or read scriptures and things have calmed down a little. My biggest fear is I will lose my mind.That I will have a break and won't be able to come back to reality. Im trying to find a safe place in my head and right now this is working. When I broke before(over 20 years ago) i couldn't help what was happening.I had no control.I so wish I would have been born with a sound mind.

By the way.Thank you for trying to help me. This is years and years of living with bad luck no matter how good I live the gospel. I can not wait for the day its my turn to go home!!! if it wasn't for husband and other child I would BEG for it day and night!!!

Ive been on prozac and xanax ever since my fiance killed himself over 20 years ago. I have had counseling over the years.Ive learned all the breathing techniques for anxiety attacks. Im just tired of it all.Im just tired. I look at some of my friends at church and they have had no problems all their life,Ok yes I know they have had problems but NOTHING compared to what I have lived through.I just keep wondering what is the difference? I live the same gospel they live.Its like high school either you are popular or your not.I am not. I feel god does not look at me like those who have had it good. Why did I bare a son like I did.Why didn't god help us when we were trying so hard in his teenage years to get him on the right medicine before he turned 18. I just don't understand.

Thank you for your comments. Im really in a mess.Sometimes I can bring myself out of this but its slow going this round. Trying to find strength.i just need it to slow down a bit so i can catch up and take a breath.

If you are tired of hearing from me.I guess if your on the other side of this I would get tired and roll my eyes to.Does anyone know where I can get help to survive until God takes me.Ive made it 40t years but I do feel like Im getting weaker the older I get. Another website maybe?

Everything is unraveling.We are full tithe payers and have struggled to pay our bills since we have been married.We have juggled and worked over time.Recently we took out a private loan to pay some bills for the month.Had the cops at our house because of my son who does not want to follow our rules.He threatened suicide AGAIN and they took him to the hospital.My life is becoming a nightmare!! Sometimes I sit in the corner and just scream, no words,just scream.I pray and pray.Go to church,go to the temple,accept callings. This morning we wake up and sewage is coming through the tub. I feel like Im sewage. My point with this is I am a negative person because I have ALWAYS had negative things happen to me no matter how much tithing I pay,no matter if I didn't work to raise my kids when they were young,No matter how many callings I have accepted.This is my lot.I truly keep the commandments and live the gospel out of fear. I must still believe in god because nothing has changed with how I do things.I do fear him very much.God can let anything happen. Just because you live the gospel does not mean your are going to be happy in it. Thanks for listening.

Also I am embarrassed that people of my faith hold grudges and refuse to forgive!!

If you have READ all the comments then you READ that I apoligised for anything I said that hurt anyone.If you are a true disciple of Christ then YOU are suppose to forgive when someone does wrong and asks for forgivness.This post was about performing and wearing garments.I worded my words wrong and asked for forgiveness so YOU don't judge ME!!! Im done with being the victim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At HOME or on this FORUM!!!!! Ive already suffered over this and asked God for forgiveness Why I care what you people think of me I don't know but I do know that God has forgiven me so weather you like or not you HAVE to forgive if you believe in the scriptures about forgiveness that is.If you don't then I guess you don't have to forgive me.Your choice I guess.Im DONE!!!

Thanks Windseeker. My husband has been right by my side and by my sons. When my son gets suicidal Im usually breaking down myself crying out of control while my husband is doing the talking. I have already been through a suicide in my lifetime.One was enough.I know I can't handle another one.I know this.When my fiance killed himself years ago I lost my mind and had no control.I have been on meds ever since. I have no idea what woud happen to me if my son killed himself.I truly don't.My mind would do what ever it feels to survive.I would have no control.