Lilac

You know why I skip church sometimes? Because I am plain exhausted. I work full time, my husband works long hours and I homeschool my four kids. By Saturday night, I am almost sick with exhaustion. Some Sundays I do Ok and other Sundays, getting everyone up, cleaned up, fed well, dressed neatly and in the car ON TIME is enough to put me over the edge. I'm only one person. My husband helps me but reality is, most of the Sunday stuff does fall on the mother. My husband cannot braid hair or find the pretty church dress and he is really bad at jamming tights on a wiggly 3 year old. Stuff like that. By the time we get to church, I'm feeling really tired and just worn out. Then I have to be cheery and friendly and sometimes I don't feel like it. i feel like dropping my kids off and going and getting a bagel and just sitting in silent car for an hour so I can decompress. I'd happily sit in my car and quietly read my Bible. Sometimes all the people and stress of getting there is just too much for someone who is overstressed to begin with. I realize I can set all this up on another day so it's ready on Sunday, and yes, I'm human and sometimes I don't do that. I think to myself, "if I join this church, I'm going to get a calling and cannot handle one more thing. I just can't" That scares me about the LDS. What if I can't handle a calling? I know that is bad if you say no to a calling. I almost feel like I'm afraid to get involved. We all have different seasons in our lives and my season now is a tough one, like many families. You have parents working and the responsibilities of a family and we feel called to homeschool. I don't think I can handle any more in this season. When we did not have children, I did all sorts of things in my church. Now? It feels overwhelming. I do instruct my children at home and I read my Bible often. I'm not leaving God or leaving my faith...I feel like saying "I'm human, I'm tired and I need to be alone right now and collect myself" Maybe being an introvert also affects me. Three hours of people is A LOT for me. i come home and I'm more exhasuted than ever and the kids are all jazzed up from having fun in Primary etc. They jump out of the car after church and literally fly around the house. I have to get them under control and then start cooking Sunday dinner. Again, my husband is not lying around, he is right here doing everything with me but he's tired too. So, that was my explanation for why we miss church sometimes. Right or wrong, I'm putting it out there since someone really wanted to know. I find Sunday to be the most stressfull day of the week.

Did you see Marie Osmond on Oprah (I can't stand Oprah but it was on while I was at the gym) Oprah asked her about dressing her son for his funeral and she expressed how shocking that was and clearly had no clue that it is a Mormon practice. Marie stated that she did it for her mother also. Still...Oprah has no clue. She did talk about how spiritual that must've been for Marie and yada yada. I was hoping Marie was going to say "it is a LDS practice" but she didn't go there at all.

Please forgive me because I know this question must be floating around on this site. I don't have a high speed access and searching takes forever. How to you plan for people who take Rx meds for health conditions? I'm investigating the church and before I even met a Mormon or knew who you were, we had some food storage. I left it for a while and I'm back into it again due to some of what I perceive as "bad stuff going on in the world" thanks

Oh, they were totally trying to be helpful. I just didn't know if I did something wrong or not allowed. The people in this ward are very nice and friendly. I guess I'll try to use the nice study guide I bought in Utah and look at some of the links you posted. Religion really is like a language. When you grow up in a bilingual house, it's really easy. Learning a second language at an adult age is hard. Maybe us Christians might need to rethink this a bit when dealing with converts? I know I have.

Thanks for your gracious answers. I was relieved that you did not feel attacked. I go to the Gospel Principles class. I guess since I haven't been baptized and officially joined, I am directed over there. I went to the Bible study once. They said "oh you are supposed to be over in the Gospel Principle class". I didn't know if I did something wrong because I'm not baptized in the LDS and I didn't ask after that. It was kind of embarrassing to be called out like that so I just stick with the Gospel Principles class. I don't want to be a crasher! It's just weird, I guess. For almost 40 years, Bible studies and Bible studies and yet again more Bible studies. The Fundamentalist Baptist churches I have attended have Church service (about 45-60 minutes of preaching), the adult Sunday school (another hour of Bible study and preaching/teaching) and then services on Sunday night with yet again, more Bible studies with preaching/teaching. Add in a two hour Wednesday night service with more Bible teaching and preaching. And then maybe an hour a day of your own study. That amounts to A LOT of Bible study and I truly loved every minute of it. I loved learning from those who really can teach me new things and bring me more knowledge of Christ. I also study on my own but it's fun to really get into a good group study. I guess I feel a bit frustrated about this? I've been told to read this long book with really no formal guidance and I'm supposed to make sense of it all on my own? For people who grew up in the church, it is easy. Like I can pick up the Bible and just read it. I read the Bible every day and I read it with my kids, teach it etc. It is just part of who I am. I can't just get into the groove with the Book of Mormon. It's a lot harder than I thought to just learn something new. I guess I have to think on this a bit. The LDS are so dedicated to their beliefs, I guess I am just surprised. I REALLY miss all the Bible study. I study on my own but it's not the same. My own study is just one dimentional. It's me, my opinions, my thoughts and my experiences. Ya know? Well, anyway, thank you for your time and suggestions. I'll try to sort all of this out. Have a blessed day tomorrow! :)

I was up late, late last night thinking and praying about joing the LDS. I've been an investigator now for over a year. We go to church almost every Sunday and my kids are doing all the kids activities (Boys Scouts etc). My kids love the LDS. Just for some background since we can't remember all the details of all the posters here. I am a Christian who was raised fundamentalist Baptist, then was conservative Lutheran for a while and then floundered around because we couldn't find a church and we have landed up with the LDS for a while now. God is the most important thing to me and I believe with all my heart that Jesus is the Savior. I am impressed with the LDS as a group and I really like you guys. I'm still working on the testimony of the BoM and Joseph Smith. Anyway, while I was up thinking and praying last night, some new thoughts crossed my mind. In the year I've been with the LDS, I've noticed something. Where is the actual Bible study? In the Sacrament Meeting, people are assigned to give a talk on a particular topic. They do a good job. They quote some Bible verses and quote some church elders or the President (past or present) and tie it in to the topic. I don't notice anyone reading along in their Bible or Book of Mormon. I don't see anyone taking notes. I go to the Gospel Lessons class and I learn about the LDS. My teacher is very good and I've learned a lot about the LDS and we do read from the Bible/Book of Mormon, D&C etc. Briefly, but we do it. Then I go to Relief Society Meeting. Someone is assigned a topic and chosen to speak on that topic. The women take turns reading various verses and then talking about the meanings and how it relates to the chosen topic and how we can apply these things to our lives. No one takes notes. No one verse or chapter is discussed in depth. I have met with the missionaries, weekly or biweekly for a year. We have discussed the LDS and mostly baptism. In fact, the last missionary session got a little heated because one missionary was really really pushing baptism kinda hard and I started to feel almost attacked over the issue. I know he meant well and we did work it out (no hard feelings and he apologized the next day for being a bit heavy handed). But no one has every really TAUGHT me any Book of Mormon stories. I have been instructed to read the Book of Mormon and pray. Ya know, the Book of Mormon is not an easy read, at least not for me anyway. I need some guidance...a study guide or something? I know that I wouldn't send a new Christian right into the Bible in the Old Testament...they'd conk out around Leviticus. In the churches I've been in, a new Christian is placed in a Bible study so they can study the Bible, in a group, with someone who is (hopefully) a good Bible teacher and the new person can learn all the amazing information that God has given us. So, in the midst of my thinking and praying, it occurred to me that I have never sat through an actual study where someone takes a chapter and teaches from that chapter. I have not learned any stories from the Book of Mormon. I have not heard anyone say "let's open to John 3 and discuss what Jesus is saying in these verses" Or "let's see what 2 Nephi chapter 5 teaches us" Like I said, I come from a hard core Baptist background and I'm used to having a notebook with me and everyone taking notes, highlighting in their Bibles etc. I would come out of church and said "I learned about John 3 today". I was cleaning out some old boxes of stuff and I found quite a few notebooks of all my notes from church. Bible studies, verses, info., how to apply it etc. It hit me kinda hard. When I was Lutheran, we had three Bible readings during the service and the minister would preach for about 30 minutes on one of those Bible readings. I took some notes and felt that I learned about that particular chapter of the Bible. Now, I know that I can take notes during Sacrament Meeting or RS but the talks are not really geared like a teaching class which I'm accustomed to. My opinion is that the LDS seem to know their Bible and Book of Mormon facts. Now where do you learn this? I assume the men learn from their missionary training and seminary? My kids are learning a lot in primary. But every Sunday I haven't really felt that I've come home with some good, deep study of Scripture. If I were a complete newcomer to the Christian faith, where and when do you teach the stories about Jesus, His life, His teachings? The Epistles? The Old Testament Stories? Or, for me, the Book of Mormon stories? I'd love for someone to get up and say "everyone turn to Nephi 10 and we are diving in folks, get ready!" I have not heard one story preached out fo the Book of Mormon. Why is that? My husband is a complete convert to the Christian faith and let me tell you, those Bapstists got a hold of him and they had him bombarded with Bible stories, Scripture memorization, lessons etc. He knows his Bible backwards and forwards. But if he knew zero and then joined the LDS, where would he have learned these Bible things? And being a potential convert now to the LDS, where does he get to learn the Book of Mormon, backwards and forwards? I hope this doesn't sound accusatory or critical. I realize it could come off like that but I hope you know my heart, that I wrote this with honest intentions. I realize too that different denominations have different styles also but this just jumped out at me last night. Thank you for your thoughts.

We love Glenn Beck in our family. I'd go but the heat and standing and four kids? Not the best plan for us at the moment...

Yes. I pretty much only wear skirts or dresses. I have long hair and so do my daughters. Skirts/dresses need to be long. No part above the elbow exposed. No thigh exposed. No area under the clavicles exposed. I have lived my whole life like that and I have to admit, I like it. No one makes me do it...it is a choice. I also used to wear a headcovering in church. I still cover my head when praying sometimes but I know that Mormons don't do that in church so I really don't want to stand out like that. It is still really funny to me to see women in church with short hair or wearing pants. No headcovering. I said to my husband the other day "these Mormons are so liberal!!!!" I say that in a joking way so no one get upset. I really like the LDS but I miss my Fundamentalist Church. I feel kinda homesick somedays. Anyway...that was my thought of the day.

I was raised Fundamentalist Baptist and many of them do not allow short hair on women. I have never had short hair in my life and still keep it long. I personally feel that I Corinthians 11: 14, 15 etc is valid for us today. I realize that other Christians don't feel that way. I don't think it's a huge issues but since the topic came up, I thought I'd throw out my thoughts on it.

I get my hair highlighed 3-4 times a year and that costs me about $75-100. My hair is one length so I rarely get it cut. I buy Burts Bees Shampoo which is about $8/bottle and I try to use small amounts because it is expensive. It has no harsh chemicals in it. No hairspray or other product. If I didn't dislike my own hair color so much, I probably wouldn't bother but I just don't have a nice hair color naturally and I look much better with some highlights. Highlighting at home was a bad experience and made my hair brassy. For me, it's worth it to pay and get it done right.

This phrase is used in the Bible which is where it's coming from. 1 Corinthians 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

Oh, thank you, that was kind. Losing your mother is a tough one. It rattles your entire soul. My faith was pretty badly shaken but I'm still here and still faithful.

Not LDS but devout Christian (Used to be Baptist but not sure what i am at the moment) I think it's a bunch of reasons: The grass is always greener. People often change their opinions of things, grow, life changes etc. Maybe they felt disappointed with something in the church; churches are not perfect but yet we ALL expect them to be. When that expectation is not met, we get frustrated and sometimes leave. Conversions are often a very emotional thing (like falling in love when you are 17). Reality kicks in and staying in one's faith can be challenging (like 20 years later, a mortgage, four kids, jobs, bills) and it's not so "sunshine and roses". Once people hit those "bumps" their faith gets rattled a bit and they might think about leaving. For example, I was raised in a very Christian household. It was very easy to be Christian and say all the Christian things until my mom got cancer and died. Then, those "Christian answers" took on a whole new meaning and challenge. Did I really believe what i said I did all those years? Your faith gets challenged and I think some people fail, not that I'm so perfect, I've had many crisises of faith over the years. I have been blessed to somehow bounce back but there are others who sadly did not. You guys know what I mean. I think all denominations/religions have these issues simply because we are human. As for the LDS being an American religion, I know it was started in the US but I'm Christian and Christianity was not started here in the US but that doesn't bother me.

I tend to agree with Pam. This is turning into an interesting thread, by the way. I think all things we do are connected directly to God. Even the silly stuff, boring stuff and not interesting stuff. Today I have spent most of the day working from home. Not very Godly but really, it is. I work so I can pay my bills etc and help provide for my family, which consist of four little people and one husband. By choosing the job I did, I can be home and homeschool my kids, which i feel is a very Godly thing. I have to start making dinner. Again, on the surface, not very interesting and doesn't sound very Godly at all. But it is my responsibility to cook something that is healthy so we can take care of the bodies God gave us. I have to try to cook within our budget. Etc. My hobbies (which are quite few due to lack of time) are a way to express myself. We recently entered some baking goods in the county fair. A huge mess in my house and again, what does that have to do with God? Well, it's a good family project...cooking together and trying to win a ribbon as a family...teamwork etc. And, it sounds funny but creating foods that are pleasing to the eye and pretty, praises God. God created this beautiful world so you know He likes pretty things. I'm sure He appreciated all of our "pretty" cookies. They are not important in the big scheme of life but it makes life a little sweeter and prettier. We plant flower gardens each year and I tell my kids that the flowers praise the Lord. The list goes on and on but you get my point. I think, everything we do in our daily life connects to God. How could it not?

I just wanted to reply about the missionaries and their young age... I've been investigating for about a year and have been through many sets of missionaries. Yes, they are young men and I am old enough to be their mother. But they have been really nice young men and are dedicated to what they are doing. No, they don't have the answers to every question I ask nor do they have the life experience I do. You know what? They don't claim to. The missionairies I have had to my home (sometimes once a week for about a year) have said upfront "I'm young and I know I don't have all the answers but this is what I'd like to share this with you tonight" They are not cocky. They are not "let me tell you because I'm 19 and brilliant" which is just plain obnoxious at any age. They have been quite the opposite. Very humble. Very aware that they are speaking with older people and very aware that it is a bit of a funny dynamic at first. They also are the first to say "I don't know the answer to that question but I will find out for you". I LOVE that. I hate "know it alls" who will tell you anything just so they look smart. They sometimes bring people from the ward who are my age and can answer a bit more of my "life" questions rather than doctrinal questions. I had some complicated questions about miscarried babies. The next week they showed up with someone who had experinced losing an infant. (i gave them permission to share that personal info) I am also well educated and pretty well read in religious studies/theology. I have been searching using everything God gave me. My intelligence and my spirituality. Sometimes I get a bit carried away on the "intellectual" part of it and I am reminded that Jesus taught about having the faith of a child. The faith of a mustard seed. I wish you well on your search. I just wanted to share that I have had excellent experiences with the missionaries. One has been nicer than the other. Once they have completed their mission and they are home and "free", I have gotten notes from them asking how we were doing in our search. Their job is technically done but for them, it was personal and more than a job. I think that says it all.

I'm a native New Yorker so the weather was no surprise. I just didn't want to be in the heat. Or anywhere near the heat. I like to hide in the air conditioning. The poor volunteers from Utah were really suffering. They were unaccustomed to such high humidity and then intense heat on top of that miserable humidity. It was really tough weather. Yes, I was at the pageant on Saturday night. :) We stayed in some RV camp somewhere in the area. Sodus? It wasn't that great. We were the only people with kids so we got "the look" when my four kids hopped out of the car. Then my husband asked for directions to the Hill Cumorah and we got the "strange" look. We didn't attend church that Sunday morning because a water pipe broke in the RV and it was entirely too much to get everyone showered and neat in a public bathroom. I can only take so much stress. At 12:30, we did all the touring in the area of the Smith house, Book of Mormon printing etc. Is that your ward? We passed it and we were wondering about it. I bet the majority of the Cumorah visitors showed up for church that Sunday? That must've been really fun and a nice way to get to meet people from all over the country etc. I really enjoyed it.

My kids loved it. They particularly loved the printing shop of the BoM. The missionary doing the tour was beyond talented with children and made it so educational and fun. In fact, the entire weekend was very child friendly, which is one thing I love about the LDS. One son thinks he might have a testimony., One son says he does not. My 8 year old is just waiting to be baptized! My little one liked all the special effects and fire in the show. I took out some books from the library for the drive up. Coincidentally (or maybe NOT!) I grabbed a book all about the people who lived in the Americas before 1492. It was fascinating! I will post the title when I clean out the car. It was a young adult book so it had cool pictures of pyramids and all sorts of stuff with enough wording to make it interesting but not too much that you feel like you are reading a textbook. It was an excellent book and turned all my previous knowledge upsidedown. My husband loved the book and it really really made an impact on his thoughts about who lived here prior to 1492 and what lives they led. There were pictographs on caves found in Texas that clearly show some type of cross. "Scientists" were stumped about the meaing of the carvings, but it was very obvious they were crosses. So, reading that book on the drive up AND seeing the pageant right after was really great for all of us. Kinda put us in the right frame of mind. The heat? It was about 90-95 and HUMID. It was really a shame because I wanted to spend some quiet time in the Sacred Grove thinking and praying. That's all I could think about was the heat. If you are LDS, that weekend was the trip of a lifetime.

I just wanted to tell someone that! The show was good, the people were nice and it was well organized. Still not sure if I have a testimony. We also toured around and saw Joseph Smith's house, the shop that printed the first Book of Mormon, the Sacred Grove etc. It was a great weekend but it was TOO HOT. The Sacred Grove was so hot that I couldn't concentrate and we had to leave after walking around in only part of it. I had intended to stay longer and see if I could get any spiritual direction but I was just too hot, my back hurt and the kids were starting up. I give it five stars and it was extremely nice that there was no charge for anything. Thank you LDS for your generosity. Blessings:D

OOOOOOOoooooooooooooh! Thanks for clarifying!

Sounds nice! The only technical detail I did not understand is: Are you sitting on the ground? or is it an arena? From what I've read, it sounds like both? I think it'll be really fun and if we decide to convert, it is a once in a lifetime thing to do with the kids etc. :)

We are going this year! It just sounded really nice and it's not that far and why not? :) I think maybe this will help us have some direction on whether we are joing the LDS or not. Any tips or things to do/see in the area? Anything you'd like to share? (sorry if this is on the wrong board, I couldn't figure out where to put it!)

Is it water because it relates to baptism also? Other than that, the article made sense. Sounds like what I know from being Protestant.

Thank you. I'll check it out.

I'm not LDS but I was reading this and was thinking that all religions have customs and culture that seems odd to outsiders/non members. It's just the way life is sometimes. I couldn't be a godparent to my niece because I'm not Catholic. My mother in law could not take communion at our wedding. My husband had to sit in a separate area and wear a yamulke at our friend's Orthodox Jewish wedding. My uncle is my godparent but not my aunt because she is Catholic. My husband was a godparent and then it was revoked because he is not Catholic anymore. I think there was some questions if I could go up to the altar when I was in my friend's wedding. I remember another uncle being upset he could not take communion at his son's wedding. The list goes on and on.... It's not just the LDS that have these issues. Sometimes cultures clash and we have to be understanding of that. It's not personal...it's just the nature of religion/culture. Sometimes there are rules unique to that religion and you have to be gracious about it, whichever end you land up. I think sometimes you just have to let these things go and just be happy for the people getting married, sealed or whatever. I understand your parents missing your wedding was very devastating to them and you. But you have been married for how many years? You are happy? You live a good and holy life, pleasing to the Lord? Then both your parents and you have to let it go. Dwelling on that is going to just let bad feelings fester and bring negative stuff into your relationship. You said you apologized and you said your family are good people. What else can you do? Christianity is a beautiful thing...focus on that. I love our Christian faith. Enjoy it and let the wedding thing be behind you.

I saw it mentioned in the thread "what to expect" but I'd like to just clarify a bit... It is OK if investigators take communion. Why? Wouldn't communion indicate a oneness with the Church and its doctrine? If you are not baptized, then how does that work? I have passed it by because I don't feel that I'm sure I'm ready to convert so I didn't feel I should partake. I certainly am a Christian so I'm a believer in Jesus but I'm not LDS so I skipped it and made sure my kids skipped it also. Do children partake? Why water and bread? No wine or grape juice and unleavened bread? I think someone mentioned "renewing their covenants" for communion. No forgiveness of sins or do this in remembrance of me? Thanks so much... BTW, the talks with the missionaries are still going well. We are still working on it