mom_of_jcchlsm

I think most TV is stupid. This particular show looks (from the article I read, which admitedly is not much to go on) low-grade. Predictable jokes and situations. Relying on steriotypes instead of actual character development. It just smacks of pushing the boundary just to make people react. Viewers are no longer piqued by interracial marriage or gay couples or whatever, so just for the sake of doing something that hasn't been done before and might stir people up, they go to this. It's not art, people. Viewers of the show will get what they deserve. Anyone who gets upset because of what they see should consider just turning the idiot box off. I don't have a problem with polygamy. I think it should be legal. Now, do I think I want to live in a polygamous household? - No. But for those who want to, that's fine. (The Libertarian in me is showing, isn't it?) If you're concerned about the alleged abuse and coercion that occurs in polygamous households, I'd say we have laws already to cover those. The polygamy itself is not the problem. As it stands, the only people who practice polygamy in the US are obviously not opposed to ignoring the law. Maybe if it weren't illegal, more normal people would practice polygamy and the abuse/coercion stats for that subgroup would go down.

is there no bottom to the pit of stupidity?

the median thing reminded me of something my friends and I used to do: pack a picknic and eat at the airport. There was a nice grassy strip where you could watch planes come and go, and watch people, but where it was legal and not in anyone's way. We'd talk about places we've been and places we'd like to go someday and make up exciting life stories for the people we saw. photo scavenger hunts are good. with digital cameras, it's a lot easier (and less expensive!) than polaroid (which was the only option when I was young). Make a list of things to take pictures of (a building at least 5 stories high, a fountain, someone in your group shaking hands with a policeman, two people in matching shirts, etc.) with extra points for certain features (double points for each picture that also has a bird in it, bonus if all group members are in the picture, etc.). Make the list longer than can reasonably be accomplished in the time limit, so groups have to pick which things to go after.

Wow. this topic is so timely. I'm with Ben - when I first read this, I was thinking you meant cutting class. Then I was hit with sort of a bewilderment - do people really do this? But, I'm so thankful that the topic came up and I had read your posts because my daughter knows a girl at school who cuts herself. My daughter said that pretty much all the girls in Athletics know about the other girl's problem (duh - they shower and change clothes together), but no one was doing anything, so she asked us what she could do (but of course, she didn't want anyone to know she was the one who ratted to an adult). I called the school counselor today and he's put an alert out to all of her teachers. No one is going to pull her out of class and ask anything, but they will all be watching her, and if they catch a glimpse of any type of self-mutilation, they can pull her aside and say "I noticed . . . " and get her the help she needs. Her mother is bipolar and has been through a string of boyfriends lately. The girl lives within walking distance of our house and has come here before when she was locked out of the house or when the home atmosphere was too unhappy. I have noticed that she self-medicates with high doses of cafeine (keeps her chipper around other people at school, but I bet the crashes are hell). I have told her that she is welcome at our house whenever she needs a break from home (the stressfulness of her home life was already known to me, but I just found out about the cutting this morning). She seems like a pretty nice kid, but her Mom is obviously too caught up in her own problems to be much of a parent and I've read that bipolar tendancies run in families (though if that's heredity or poor parenting contributing to the next generation's problems, I don't know). Anyway, I thought I'd chime in on this topic since it now affects someone we know. Let us know how things play out for you and your sister. You can always come online and pour out your heart whenever you need to.

I just had a temple recommend interview last Sunday - no mention of Joseph Smith.

On the mobilization thing: you know it! Millions of Mormons would literally, get up from their desks and tell their bosses "Sorry, I've gotta go. I might be back, but I don't know for sure if or when. Bye!" -- gather up kids from their schools, grab their 72-hour kits, lock up the house and be out of town in an hour and a half if the prophet said to. And the word would travel fast! Every Ward has a phone chain and if it's important, those who can't be reached by phone will be hunted down in person to pass the message, day or night, around the world. I'll bet I'd get a call within half an hour if something shook up in SLC.

Happy, Happy Birthday, PC, Dear! Happy days will come to you all year! If I had a wish, that wish would be: A Happy, Happy Birthday to you from me! Hope your day is special. Got any plans?

choices work great. we also explain in advance what the likely consequences of certain actions will be or ask them to tell us what they think will happen if they follow a certain course (we do this for both good and bad choices). just this morning, my 12-yo came out wearing her older sister's shirt. Older sister is long gone (she goes straight to school from seminary). I asked "are you green to wear that shirt?" ("green" as in green light) and she said "she's let me borrow it before . . ." I simply said "You know your sister pretty well. Think things through from her point of view." 12-yo walks heads off to the bathroom to do her hair. She wore that shirt for almost a half an hour before thinking better of it. She was the last child I dropped off this morning for school. When we were alone (well, with the baby and toddler), I asked "what made you change your mind about the shirt?" She mumbled something about how that shirt kinda itches and the color is wrong. Totally ignoring her evasion, I said something like "well, I think you made a good choice. I'm thankful that I don't have to listen to you two arguing this afternoon over the shirt. Relationships are more important than things. Besides, you'll have a chance to ask her tonight if you want to borrow it tomorrow." So we'll see if she's wearing it tomorrow. Bet not (just to prove Mom wrong), but I also bet she will wear it in the near future (hopefully with permission!).

I'm a pretty solid Conservative. Good break-down, PC. I think most people are represented somewhere in there (though I wonder if they will recognize themselves??)

Hubby and I disagreed on this when our oldest kids were young. He believed in spanking and I did not. We ended up spanking our oldest three kids. But found it like a drug -- it took more and more force to achieve the same effect over time. Each child responded differently, though. Our oldest learned to avoid getting in trouble (sometimes by obedience and other times by being manipulative, deceitful, or by not getting caught). Our second child was almost panicked over being spanked -- just the mention of a spanking would bring immediate submission (I always felt that was wrong). Our third child is fiercely independent and spankings became a battle ground -- he was willing to endure whatever we dished out; he just decided that most of the things he wanted to do were worth the spanking he would get for it, so he'd just do it, take the punishment, and continue on his merry way. Spanking was no deterrant, and it wasn't working as a corrective measure. By the time our fourth child was two, we had stopped spanking the older kids, so she was never really spanked. Numbers 5 and 6 have never been spanked and number 7 won't be, either. Now, I do occasionally slap the back of a hand that is reaching for something it ought not. And I do physically remove a child from the room if needed (pick them up kicking and screaming or just hold the wrist tightly and lead them away). But the primary tools we use are positive reenforcement (praising when they do something right, occasionally giving rewards or offereing carrots) and loss of privileges (computer, phone, a particular toy, choice of clothing to wear -- whatever fits the crime or whatever affects that child the most). It takes a lot more work to think up and enforce appropriate corrective measures than to reach out and spank the child. I think we're doing the right thing now. But raising kids is sure hard work!

so, who has 20-foot ceilings in their bathroom?

Yeah, it's not like it was only beautiful people who opened the door naked. Fat people. Old people. He was also offered drugs many, many times. And in one city he lived in, the Elders lived in an upstairs appartment with an "Old Maid" member downstairs who cooked for them all the time. Except her idea of tenderized meat was meat that had sat out on the counter for a few days. My sister-in-law served in Hungary. She fell down the stairs in the mission home and needed back surgury. She had to choose between going home to the USA for surgury and ending her mission or staying in Hungary for the surgury and finishing out her mission. She chose to stay there. Hospital conditions are just not the same in Eastern Europe, especially just after the Russians left. Her anesthesiologist was a guy about her age with a beard and tatoos - he was smoking and joking with a friend he had brought to work with him while he was prepping her for surgury - she was totally naked lying on her stomach on the gurney without even a sheet over her.

My Dad always said: Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you might never owe. When you're worried, often you're fidgetty or restless. Better to turn that energy into something productive. The Lord knows and understands your limitations, but expects you to do all that you can. So, what can you do? You. Not your parents. What can you do? I'd start with packing a 72-hour kit in a sturdy backpack. Just the basics. Food, water, spare clothing for one person. Get stuff from the thrift shop. Save a granola bar or a can of diced peaches from your lunch to stuff in there. Print out a map with possible evacuation routes on it. Faith and fear are opposites. You will feel less and less fear, the more faith you have in your ability to cope with a bad situation.

This is everyone! If we weren't always trying to be better, what would be the point of being at all? Are you familiar with the song "Change Your Mind" by Sister Hazel? It's on their Fortress album. Our family loves that song and we all sing it at top volume - often with moist eyes. I bet we look silly going down the freeway in our minivan. It's such a happy, powerful song -- it makes you feel able to do anything, while at the same recognizing that it's OK not to be perfect . . . yet. Lyrics: Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Hey, hey Did you ever think there might be another way To just feel better, just feel better, about today? Oh, no If you never want to have to turn and go away You might feel better, might feel better, if you stay. Yeah, yeah I bet you haven't heard a word I said Yeah, yeah When you've had enough of all your tryin' Just give up the state of mind you're in. If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself, If you want to be somebody else, Change your mind. Change your mind. Hey, hey - Have you ever danced in the rain or thanked the sun Just for shining, just for shining on the sea? Oh, no Take it all in. The world is just a show and you look much better, look much better, when you glow. Yeah, yeah I bet you haven't heard a word I said Yeah, yeah When you've had enough of all your tryin' Just give up the state of mind you're in. If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of losing battles with yourself, If you want to be somebody else, Change your mind. Change your mind. Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Hey, hey Whadd'ya say we both go and seize the day. 'Cause what's your hurry? What's your worry, anyway? Yeah, yeah I hope you've heard every word I've said! Yeah, yeah You've had enough of all your trying. Just give up the state of mind you're in. If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself, If you want to be somebody else, Change your mind. Change your mind. Change your mind. Change your mind. Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah

This was related to me by a friend . . . seems a little wild to be true, but who knows? Tracting in Baptist country, in Texas, the Elders finally got a conversation started with a young man, but he was mostly full of guarded curiosity because of all the negative things he had heard about Mormons. Once he saw that the Elders were willing to answer any question he threw out, he asked if it was true that Mormons are the Devil (like we would admit it! - LOL!). One Elder said, "Yeah, in fact, we have little bumps on our heads where the horns will grow in when we're ressurected." The guy was really freaked out and said "No! Really? Can I feel one?" So the Elder let him touch his head, just inside the hairline above his temple. Of course, the guy didn't feel anything. So the Elder said, "try over here on the other side." The guy did. "Still don't feel anything . . . ?? Not even a little bit . . . stupid?"

From the library, check out a Level I Pimsleur language course on CDs. Do one lesson a day for a month (you'll have to renew your check-out from the library). Pick any language you want! It may prepare you for a mission, or for a job, or to make a new friend. If your library doesn't have any, you can get it through inter-library loan (usually costs a buck or two to cover postage). Get your hands on a Boy Scout Handbook and learn all the knots. Take a Community CPR class. ($$, but really worth it)

We drove to a family reunion in Montana a few summers ago and I actually remember drinking the water in Wyoming - it was SO GOOD!!! The water and that funny-shaped mountain that was featured in the movie about aliens. That's what I remember about driving through Wyoming.

My husband served in the Netherlands/Belgium mission. He says people opened the door stark naked (both men and women) - happened at least a dozen times to him while tracting.

The water in our city tastes nasty, and by all reports is full of yucky gunk that shouldn't be there. We go through bottles of distilled water at our house pretty quickly. I'm looking at buying a still so we can make our own distilled water. They range in price from $100 to $400 depending primarily on capacity and versitility (some plug into the wall, others can be used over any heat source from electric or gas range to a campfire). Since we spend at least $200 a year on distilled water, I figure it will pay for itself if it stands up to heavy use. Does anyone out there have any experience with these things? Any product recomendations?

Airlines have had to seriously revamp their load calculations over the decades - when commercial flight was fairly new, they considered an average adult to weigh 140 pounds. We weigh far more than that now, on average. I don't know what they were thinking with the "lap child" fares, either - has anyone ever tried to fly three hours holding a toddler on your lap? I will pay for the extra seat next time! Sure, it's nice to get to save money, but it doesn't work very well, and I'm sure the person next to me felt we were taking up too much room. I felt bad for her the whole time. As for overweight, out-of-shape LDS, I agree that the prayerfully adhering to the WoW would help. I also think that LDS women (myself included!) often feel we don't have time to take care of ourselves - we put others' needs ahead of our own and figure we'll have time to do the things we need for ourselves "someday after the kids are grown." We DO need to take care of ourselves NOW so that we will be healthy and happy when the "someday" actually comes. Our RS established a Special Interest Group for fitness - they meet for basketball, volleyball and yoga once each week, do recipe exchanges, and also do a weight-watchers-type support meeting. I haven't actually participated (too busy - yeah, that's it!), but the Sisters who are going are all fired up about it.

My teens refuse to believe that fashion runs in cycles. I've showed them pictures of me - in the mid 80's - wearing strategically ripped/shredded, tight, bleached/faded jeans, obnoxious belts, and bare midriff T-shirts. They say I look like a freak and that fishions are totally different now than when I was young. OK, so my jeans rode a little higher on the hip and didn't have fancy stitching on the pockets and my shirt was loose, not lycra - and my hair was BIG, not straightened. But really, it's the same stuff. Fashion comes and goes. No matter what the fashion is, you can find something to wear that looks good on you and covers up what shouldn't show. I have to agree with SF - keep yourself unspotted during High School and you will be sooooo much happier later on. High School feels like all the world, but in just 5 years you'll look back and wonder how it seemed so important at the time.

Thanks, Maureen. So, from Elder Nelson's talk here's what I get: A lot of western culture has positive connotations with the right hand (historical / cultural / linguistic). If that applies to you, you can add to the symbolism of partaking of the sacrament by doing so with your right hand. If you don't feel any (historical / cultural) preference for the right hand, then it makes no difference which hand you use. PC, Ray and others - My husband and I prepare talks very differently. (PC, in our church, often husband and wife are asked to speak the same Sunday on related topics) He mulls things over in his mind for about a week, looks a few things up, and usually has a 3 x 5 card with 6 or 8 words, plus his scriptures, when he steps up to the pulpit. He speaks brilliantly and comes up with clever analogies and sound insights - his talks come off as polished performances of well-researched doctrine. Because of his near-photographic memory and his appetite for Church History, he can quote his sources out of his head as they occur to him on the spot. People think he spends a lot of time on his talks - in fact he spends very little time preparing for any specific speaking assignment, but he has spent a lifetime acumulating Gospel knowledge and pondering the things he has learned so you might say he has spent countless hours preparing for every assignment. By contrast, I start by looking up whatever I can on the topic and reading voraciously, then mull things over several days, write up my general outline, think, read, pray, think, read, pray, write, think, pray, write, think, pray, read, think, pray, (repeat as necessary over several days), then type up the whole thing, word for word, and practice speaking from it (in front of the mirror), making revisions here and there, adding bits, practicing sometimes 10 or more times. Then I get up to speak with my 3 or 4 pages of 10-pitch text and end up departing from my prepared speach in all sorts of directions. In fact, many times, I can't remember what I said once I step down - those are the times when dozens of people aproach me in the hallway after the meeting to say how wonderful my talk was and how much it touched their hearts. And I know the Holy Ghost has spoken to them through me and I am humbled by the process. But I know it couldn't have happened if I hadn't prepared as carefully as I did.

I wouldn't go out of my way to use my left hand just to stir things up, though. Personally, I use my right hand whenever it's convenient. If I'm holding a baby or have my arm pinned by my husband in a tightly packed pew, I use my left. I have never heard doctrinal support for the right hand thing. While we're on sacrament issues: why have small children take the sacrament if it's supposed to be a renewal of baptismal covanants they haven't made yet and are in fact too young to understand? I have my own answer, but would like to hear your takes on this. And yes, I do have my children take the sacrament starting around age one.

I don't know if the right hand thing is official or not, but does it hurt to conform in this instance? If it's just cultural (like a handshake), you can look at it as "when in Rome . . ." - that way you don't accidentally offend anyone and besides, it's not like you're making a great sacrifice in order to conform. I do have a friend who is missing her right arm from the elbow down (horseback riding accident). She obviously takes the sacrament with her left hand. She also manages to participate in Temple sessions just fine. java script:emoticon('', 'smid_30') So wouldn't stress about the right hand thing. About using other sources - this is according to me, not anything official: The bulk of the lesson and supporting material should come from official sources (the approved lesson manual, scriptures, including Ensign, etc.). A few supporting extras are fine if they really contribute to the understanding of the material being presented.

Let's plan a flash mob in LDStalk main chat room at 10pm Central time this Friday night. See if we can set a new record? All in favor?