kc247

Thanks for the replies! I had researched it much more. My brother's father in law is an immigration lawyer and I talked to him about it, it seems like the K1 visa is the best route for us. Sucks I would have to go to Montreal but in the end it would all be worth it! We are hoping to start the paper work between now and when I go visit in the next month or 2 and send it off then. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. I will continue living at home and working to save up and cover the costs for what it will all cost. If all goes well then we are hoping to get married early next year. They definitely don't make it easy!

So if I understand this right.. the EASIEST route would be if we got married in Canada, then from Canada applied for a K3 Visa & then moved back to the States, & I could work after that? Would we need any type of 'fiance' visa if he was to live in Canada during that time or is that only the States that has that type of rule? Like suppose he went to school in Canada for a semester, or a year or whatever, we got married during that time, THEN applied for a K3 & then we moved back to the Sates? Sorry I am just trying to wrap my brain around all this. Thanks for the replies :)

This sounds so confusing! All these form names & whatnot. I know a couple people who have done it but they've all been going to school in the States at the time of the marriage... it seems so much easier that way. Pretty expensive, but I guess you just do it.

Does anyone have any advice for marrying someone from Canada or the US? Are either an easier country for the other to get a visa to get into and get married? We aren't engaged I am just wondering for future reference. One of us goes to school. It worries me if I were to move & not be able to work while waiting for a visa if he is going to school. I also heard you need to prove you can financially provide for that person, & I don't see how you can prove that if you are going to school & not working. (I definitely would want to do it the legal way...). Does anyone know the cost of all this? It must happen all the time.

Go to your bishop & talk to him about your mission & he can help you prepare. I have known missionaries who have had pasts like that. As far as I know you breaking the law of chastity will not stop you from going on a mission if you take the proper steps in repenting. But if they have since 'raised the bar'..I'm not 100% sure. Your bishop will know. :)

I'm in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I both had previously broken the law of chastity with past people. We BOTH wanted to keep standards when we got together, we both knew about eachothers pasts, (I think both of us having a past made it easier for us to accept it about eachother), but this made it very difficult for us to not break the law of chastity when we were together, as it was obvioulsy both of our weaknesses. We didn't go all the way, but we messed up. We want to get married in the temple so we know we have to behave ourselves if we want that to happen. I find that you really need to keep yourselves distracted. Find things to do, go out on your dates. I know things like 'avoid being alone' is easier said than done, but it's definitely the best thing to do. You can't do bad things if you're with other people, right? We invite friends over to watch movies with us, we double date. We live in seperate cities so it's difficult for us to NEVER be alone. I recommend avoiding being in bedrooms together, or laying down together at alll. Communicate with eachother, set limits. Honestly, I think it's much easier for me to resist than it is for my boyfriend, I can lay down with him and not be tempted to do bad things.. he can't, so we avoid laying down together for his sake. I wouldn't know that unless he told me. So make sure you know what his limits are. It's difficult. But can be done! Definitely worth it in the end :)

Well, I live in Canada as well & I've grown up looking forward to prom. I went to prom, and it was one of the main events in High School. I really don't think Toronto is the only place, or that they 'stole' the tradition from the Americans.. I never had ever thought of it to be only an American thing. Maybe it's different in Alberta? I know here on the East Coast though, it's a very normal thing and every high school has it as far as I've ever known.

I'm sure she would take it back if she could. Everyone makes mistakes. The repentance process is not an easy one and for her to repent and become worthy again shows what a great person she is. I was a church member all my life, parents are, etc. I broke the law of chastity with my boyfriend over a year ago, & that went on for a few months. I knew it was wrong, but once you do it once it's not so easy to stop. Anyway, we broke up, & it happened again with 2 other guys. After that I met the guy who I'm dating now. He's a member & a great guy. I knew I'd have to tell him eventually, but we dated a couple months until he straight out asked me. (He had suspicions because of what I'd said about my previous relationships). I didn't tell him details (how many guys, etc), I don't think that's important. He was wonderful though. I thought he'd break up with me, but he said it didn't change anything & he'd never bring it up again, and he's never said a word since that night. Which means a lot to me because if there's anything I want more is to go back and never have done those things. What I'm getting at, is the best thing you can do is show her how forgiving you are and how it doesn't matter, what matters is the kind of person she is now. Everyone has a past, & all that matters is the present & future. Please don't make her feel bad about it. It's done with, and shouldn't matter anymore. If God can forgive her, then you should too.

I understand you wanting her to wait. You don't want her to get snatched up by anyone else while you're gone. But... honestly, I don't think it's really fair. She's only 18, she needs to be able to have the freedom to date others if she wants or feels it's right. As much as you may not want to think about it, it's not fair for her to possibly miss out on meeting other people because she isn't allowed to date because she's waiting for you. If she feels the same as you, she's won't date other people, and she WILL wait for you. But don't ask her. She will do what she feels is right. She shouldn't have to be asked. My boyfriend said he would never have asked a girl to wait for him, because he felt it was a selfish thing to do. I never really thought much about it until he told me that. & I agree. Not saying that YOU are selfish. I'm just saying how the situation wouldn't really be the most fair thing to do for someone who you care so much about. Do whatever you feel is right though. That's just my personal opinion. :) ps - either way I think it's wonderful you're going on a mission and I respect guys a lot for deticating 2 years to the Lord. Good luck, everything will work out in the end the way it's supposed to :)

1-- Yes 2-- No you don't. People make mistakes. As long as you've repented and are now worthy. And unlike someone else said it's not like it had to have been a one time thing.. people make mistakes, people make multiple mistakes. As long as it's been dealt with then it's forgotten. :) 3-- Not anytime in the near future I don't think lol 4-- I've seen tons take vidoes, and a couple people in my home branch would send videos home. 5-- I know all of the ones in my stake do. This is probably because they're not home a lot, therefore they are harder to get ahold of. 6-- They shop for groceries on their P day (one day a week where they get to do other things) 7-- I don't think you HAVE to, but it's probably recommended. I remember my friend getting her licence right before she left so she'd have it. 8-- The church will often help. There was a guy in my branch who couldn't afford it but the church helped a lot. 9-- They are allowed to email their family once a week. 10-- I know you have to be 19 for a guy/21 for a girl. I agree with others that the cut off is 26, and I'm not sure about a girl but apparently there isn't a cut off date? :)

It is difficult.. guys can be incredibly shallow, but attraction is a major part in a relationship. When I moved to the YSA branch I'm at now, (which is quite small), there was only a couple people who were 'couples' out of everyone.. I thought it was a bit sad, there were a lot of great girls but the guys never asked them out because they weren't 'attracted' to them.. they never even gave them a chance. The girls were similar as well though, they felt the same about the guys for the most part. I had a few guys ask me out and I didn't go, because I knew i could never be attracted to them and I didn't see the point in going out with someone who I knew I'd never marry. I am dating a great guy who I met there now though, but I had asked him why he never dated any of the other girls at the branch and he said the same thing. He wasn't attracted.. & guys seem to have high standards as well. He said he couldn't date a girl who was overweight, too short, etc.. which I didn't think wasn't really fair. So... yeah, guys can expect too much.. they can't be too picky or they'll just end up alone..

I've always dated non-members (if you lived where I lived, you would understand..). There was absolutely no members to date unless they lived a few hours away. I dated guys who I told pretty much right away about my beliefs and standards and they claimed to be fine with it. Then a few months later they would change their mind. During those times I did a lot of not so good things that shouldn't have happened. After moving away for school I decided only to date members.. even though they were hard to find. I wanted to get married in the temple and that wouldn't happen if I dated a non-member. Now I'm dating a wonderful guy who is a member and I find things 10 times easier when you're dating someone with the same beliefs as you. Also.. everyone is different. I'm sure there are some great non-members and I don't think people should never date them. It's just my personal opinion. If you can deal with the pressure & temptation that may possibly come from dating a non-member then go ahead. I would just rather avoid it seeing as I have made past mistakes. :)

I would definitely want to tell before marriage. But save the details. You don't want those details in your significant others mind at all.. details aren't nessesary I don't think. Especially if it's something you've repented for and is in the past. There's no need in bringing up past mistakes that aren't important now. Also, I wouldn't tell until you fully trust the person. I would personally wait until it's serious enough for marriage, or unless it was brought up in conversation and you feel you are ready, before I would tell. (this is what i plan on doing with me and my bf, as i have a 'past'. but i dont think it's nessesary that he know about it unless marriage is in the future)

Thanks guys. I'm going to really really push myself to talk to the bishop this upcoming Sunday. I feel like everything will fall into place. I'm a really firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If I'm supposed to be with this guy in the end, then he will understand and forgive me for my past. If he doesn't... then I wasn't supposed to end up with him in the first place. That's just how I look at it anyway.

No, I've never been to the temple. The only problem about going to the bishop is that I live somewhere where the church is not big at all. I'm living away from home for school, but I move back home in a few months..... and my father is the bishop at home. I really really don't want him to find out about the things I've done. If I had to talk to him how much detail would I have to tell him? I would rather go to the bishop at my ward here.. but since it's a longer process than a few months I would technically have to go to my bishop at home. My father has no idea about anything I've done that hasn't been good. I don't want him to be disapointed in me.