TXRed

I got cross-ways with a Bishop once. . . .okay, more than once and more than one Bishop. :) I've been a member now for 28 years; so I've had a few "experiences". :) This one incident was so bad, I was sooooooo angry, I wanted to move, quit, something. . . . .anything to NOT have to deal with this Bishop. I got to the point where I had a hard time praying and going to Church. I continued to pray when I was alone though, and one morning while in the shower, I was praying about my hard feelings about this man. I begged, pleaded, and cried to HF to know what to do. I was told to go and talk to the Bishop, because he might not even realize that he had hurt my feelings. I went straight to the Bishop that day and asked to speak with him. I explained what he had said and how I had felt about it, and I also told him how much it had affected me. He had NO CLUE that what he said had affected me that way. He was totally in the dark. What he'd said was what he felt, and I don't think he really changed his mind about it, but when he realized that it had affected me the way it had, he apologized for that. This man was and is a good man. He was under a great deal of pressure at the time, and when I went back to him and explained how I felt, we both were on the right track again. It is sooooooooooooo easy to have misunderstandings and hurt feelings. My youngest came home from Church (teenager) one day ready to quit because of something the current Bishop had said. I immediately got on the phone and called the man to tell him what was going on. He was at my house almost immediately and took my daughter for a walk around the house talking to her about the problem. It was resolved with her as quickly as it had become a problem. I wish that during those "in-between" years, I had been quicker to go confront the problem. What I've grown to learn over the years is that "moving" won't necessarily take care of the problem. There was a woman in my old ward (supposedly a close friend of mine). . . . . . . she did so much talking about my family that I heard the rumors from people in three different wards. In the beginning, I laughed it off since the rumors were soooooooo ridiculous that I didn't believe that anyone would even give them a second thought. They did, and it got to be really difficult to go to Church. . . . . you know . . . . . when people see you coming down the hall and get really quiet. Or they say things that let you know they've heard stuff. It was a very traumatic time for the entire family. That's been about 15 years ago, and I'm convinced that there are still some people who believe what they heard even though it was waaaaaaaaay ridiculous. I've grown enough though that if someone were to bring it up to me, I would simply tell them "It's never wise to believe EVERYTHING you hear." At the time, I wished that I could just move, but we had no money to make a move and no desire to live elsewhere either. I do now live about 2 hours away from where we use to, but before we moved, I realized that "my rumor spreading friend" could move and follow us. . . . . or. . . . . there could be another like her where we moved to. I was almost immediately called to teach in RS, and I often used my experiences to teach the lessons. I definitely can testify that this awful time did teach me a lot and help me to grow in many ways. I love my new Ward and have been here for almost 13 years now, but guess what. . . . .there are a couple of people in this ward who can really hurt peoples feelings. I can't fix them. . . . .I can only work on trying to "fix" me. I am definitely not perfect, but I've learned that no one else on this earth is either; so I'm trying to do all I can to work on ME. I'm learning to be a little more understanding when someone offends me. If it offends me bad enough, I go to them and see if I can do anything to resolve the issue. If I can't do anything to resolve the problem, I turn it over to Heavenly Father. Obviously, I still have some issues of my own to resolve or I would be a lot quicker to turn things over to HF. That needs to be one of my new year's resolutions. Good luck with your issues. Remember, this is a learning process for you and the Bishop both. My prayers are with you, TXRed

I'm with Shantress totally on this. You encourage, but you try not to make it a battle. It will happen eventually. My grandmother told me that a child should be potty trained by the time it is 6 months old. Baloney!!! I only had one out of 7 that could walk at 6 months. . . . . . .who the heck is getting trained here? The deal was that my grandmother learned to pay attention to the "time" of day that her child had a bowel movement, and she took them at the right time. Sorry, but I had too many other things to do than to take a six month old and hold them over the toilet. I used stickers, toys, candy, you name it, and I tried it. What worked best for me was when I relaxed and quit worrying so much about "when" the child was going to be potty trained. I absolutely refuse to even attempt to potty train in the winter time. (too many clothes to wash when they wet them) For me, letting them wear panties around once they started showing an interest worked pretty well. Once they have started having long spans of time dry, they find that a wet pair of pants is not pleasant. (disposable diapers keep them too dry to notice; so panties really give them a "wet" attitude, especially when it runs down their legs.) I found rather quickly that if I was too pushy about the whole thing, the child began to balk about it, and it became a vicious struggle between the two of us. So; for me, trying to be encouraging and yet non challant helped. One of my aunts told someone once that I never potty trained my kids . . . . . . I just let them potty train themselves. Made life a whole lot easier on the whole family, and they are all grown and not wearing diapers; so I guess it worked. B) Peace, TXRed P.S. Trust yourself. Heavenly Father sent the children to you to be taken care of. . . . . .you will know when the time is right if you will just remember that Heavenly Father trusted you. You love this child and know it better than anyone else does. I believe that the reason so many of us stress over "potty training" so much is that we "worry" what others will think. Try not to. Just be concerned with you and your child's needs.

My second child had the diaper rash really bad. One minute he looked fine, and the next diaper change, he was raw. My pediatrician first scolded me for using disposable diapers; so I went to cloth. Then, the doctor said that I must not be getting all the soap out of the cloth diapers; so I washed w/ two rinses and then went through the entire cycle again with no soap. This did not help either. He was changed frequently, and that did not help either. Finally, a GP looked at him and gave me mycolog which got it under control, but it was not a cure. When this child was almost two, we wound up testing him for allergens. He was allergic to practically everything they tested him for; so they started him on allergy shots. They had me test him for milk allergy by taking him off all dairy products for one month. At the end of the month, he got to drink about 2 ounces of milk, and he had a runny nose the next day. This child also had pneumonia every winter. Through experimenting, we discovered that his number one allergy was dairy products and that if he avoided those, he could usually handle the other things he was allergic to if not overdosed. (His problems started when he was six months old, and because I had pneumonia, they wanted me NOT to nurse him. After two weeks on formula, he started having all kinds of problems. . . . . . .at the time, I did not make the connection, and I did not go back to nursing him; so he continued with problems.) He's 33, and he still has some asthma problems and some allergy problems, but if he does not over do the dairy, he seems to handle things better. Anyway, if your family has allergy problems, and you are nursing, you might try not eating the dairy products yourself to see if that helps. My sixth child also had a lot of allergy problems, and her number one allergen is dairy, too. . . . . . . . it manifested itself differently with her, and she started having problems while still nursing if "I" ate the dairy products. She is almost 24 and can handle some dairy, but if she eats too much, she starts itching. She is also allergic to shellfish, chocolate, tomatoes, etc., etc., etc, but we did not do allergy testing on her. We "experimented" by eliminating certain substances, and we used a homeopathic doctor to get her problems under control. All of the items mentioned above by others helped from time to time also, but if you can figure out what the offending item is, avoiding it can help a lot. Peace, TXRed

Been to several different Baptist churches, Catholic, Pentecostal, Methodist, Lutheran, Nazarene, etc., etc., etc. Always was asking everyone what THEY believed. Did not want them preaching to me, but I wanted to know what they believed. Spent plenty of time talking to the Jehovah's witnesses that were in my HS, and the one Buddhist. I found it very interesting to hear what others believed. Of course, when I met a lady who was LDS, we got into some deep discussions, and she listened to the spirit and told me about Baptism for the Dead which was the concept that I had been looking for. I was raised to believe that everyone needed to be Baptized, and my question was what happened to the people who had never learned about Jesus Christ. No one could answer that question to my satisfaction except the LDS. I have always believed in a loving Heavenly Father who would provide a way for all of us to return home to Him. Peace, TXRed

Congrats on your new adventure! My favorite chickens are Americaunas because they lay colored eggs. Plus, they come in so many different colors. Last spring, I ordered 25 baby chicks, and right now, I have 2. Hawks, cats, owls, foxes, etc., etc., etc. You don't just have to worry about the attacks from above, you also have to worry about the attacks from UNDER the fence. Then, I have to worry about my own neglect . . . I forgot to close the chicken house door a couple of times. If you are only going to have four hens, have you considered the possibility of buying them grown? It takes six months for a hen to start laying, and around here, you can usually find some grown (or nearly grown) hens for about $6-8. I have not decided yet what I will do this year. . . . .babies or adults. Babies means that I can get my favorite breed, but adults mean that I don't have to buy so many or wait so long. The last time, I bought part Bantams (which they only sell in "straight run") and part full size hens. I love the Bantams, because they tend to get "broody" better than the larger chickens, and I love to be able to raise babies. Years ago, we had three bantam hens that made their nests in a fifty five gallon barrel of hay. All the other chickens laid their eggs in the barrel, too; so these three little hens were covering 20 some odd eggs. One day, I was in the shed where the barrel was and was wondering why we hadn't seen any babies yet when I heard a "peep". Well, I was not the only one who heard it. Two seconds is all it took for the momma cat that had her babies in another barrel to go from hers to the chickens and fetch a meal for her babies. No wonder I was not getting any babies. Momma cat was having a fresh meal every day. Thanks for the idea about the "red" light, I may try that. Hubby built me a wood box for my babies. One section has plexiglass and a light bulb in it. The next section has a door that can be propped up slightly so the chicks can either get inside the "lighted" warm area or go out into the more open area. I put newspaper and hay on the bottom of the box. They are nasty little creatures, and I long ago got over wanting them in the house. (and that's from a woman who has allowed her children to have pet pigs in the house. . . . .they litter box train pretty easily ) Consider building a cage on legs for just a few chickens. Make sure that your cage bottom has very small wire. We once had chickens in a cage with wire bottom, and the cats pulled their feet through the cage and ate them. (just the feet) Gross! Of course, that's nothing compared to the time that I bought a whole batch of "feetless" chickens. They were the cutest little chickens hopping all around in their wire cage that had grass clippings on the bottom. The man who sold them to me was telling me all about the chickens that he had that got frostbite that year. Of course, I did not realize that he was talking about the ones I was buying, because they looked so healthy. The seller got them out of the cage and put them in a bag for me to take home; so I did not touch them until I got them home. When I put them out on the concrete floor of the chicken house, I was shocked to see all these babies running around on "nubs". Not one of them had any feet. It was pitiful. Taught me something though. . . . . . .let the buyer beware . . . ...check out the merchandise. I figure that if I want a certain number of eggs, I have to have three or four more hens than I want. Stuff happens. Some don't make it to maturity. . . . .some eggs don't make it to the kitchen. . . . . . and some of the hens don't make it very far either. I still prefer to see my chickens in the chicken yard running loose even though I have to contend with the possibility of predators. I usually do pretty well during spring and summer, but in the winter is when I have the most problems with "creatures" coming up to look for food. Some predators will also climb the fence to get in with them. Skunks will bite the heads off of chickens. Years ago, I was having something attack my chickens during the night. They were roosting on the four foot chain link fence in my back yard. The next morning, I would find a chicken head on one side of the fence and the body on the other. Whatever was killing them was not eating them, and it was driving me nuts trying to figure out what it was. Later on, when we started raising pigs, we read everything we could about how to take care of a sow that was having babies; so we built the "perfect" pen for the mother and her babies; so she would not lay on them. We went out the morning after she had given birth, and we found all of the babies dead. Most had two puncture wounds in the top of their heads, and two had them in the top of their back. We had also caught a skunk in a live trap that night. My kids told me that the skunk killed the babies by sucking the blood out of them. I thought the kids were being totally ridiculous, but they told me that they saw all about it on the discovery channel. Well, I ask my neighbor (an old farm boy), and he told me that the kids were right and that he had actually seen a skunk climb onto the fence with his hen and bite her head off to lap the blood. Talk about weird! Our "perfect" pen to keep the mother from crushing her babies also kept her from being able to get to the skunk to stop it from killing her babies. Having animals around is an adventure. Peace, TXRed You just have to do your best.

Oh, my gosh!!! I've learned my something new for the day. Thanks, guys. Peace, TXRed

You have expressed my feelings quite nicely! Thank you! Now, let me explain how my feelings have "evolved" over the years. For one, Sunny Surffer, your question about the "good" man who is black versus the "bad" man who is white. . . . . . . I use to use that particular argument years ago when explaining WHY I would not have a problem with one of my children marrying a black person. However, today, I would tell them to simply find someone other than that "bad" white person. Don't date a "bad" person!!! It doesn't matter what color they are, if they are not "good", you don't want to be involved with them. Don't date outside of your race. . . . .it causes problems. As Josie said, you marry who you date, and marriage is difficult enough without adding more problems to the mix. Race can be a huge problem. That does not mean that it absolutely can not work ever. But, when you add a racial difference, you have added another potential problem to a marriage. And, believe me, children of mixed races are teased!!! A lady I knew once had a son who was half black. . . . .a gorgeous kid, but her daughters were all from her white husband. The girls were harassed when they walked down the street with their own brother. Yes, it was ridiculous, but it happened. Plus, many of us say, "I'm marrying the person not his/her family". . . . . well, that's not really true most of the time. You marry "into" a family, which means you have to deal with the prejudices of the extended family. I have family members who have married Hispanics. That doesn't bother me at all, but the problem that I see is when "jokes" are made with racial undertones. ("Let that little Mexican get me a beer!" "Man, what a pepper gut!" "That was a really WHITE gift", etc.) I don't appreciate them, and I see the potential for problems. My spouse and I are the same race, and yet, we pick on each other way too much without the differences of race. It has caused problems. Our backgrounds are pretty similar, and yet, I have spent 35 years fussing about his leaving the cabinet doors and the drawers open, and he has spent quite a few years fussing about me squeezing the toothpaste in the middle. I have to admit though that I DO NOT squeeze the toothpaste in the middle anymore and have not for years, but he still leaves drawers and doors open. Just goes to show that women can change easier than men. . . . . . . . .. . Okay, fine, the rest of the story . . . . .I buy toothpaste in a push down container. The point is that even with all of the similarities in background, etc., we have still had our share of problems to deal with in our marriage. Adding race or religion to the mix would have just been more to deal with. Maybe we could have done it, but maybe not. Don't date outside your religion either. I remember just about 26 years ago when I heard some of my husband's family talking about how they would not let their children date outside their religion, and it irritated me so much. (I was a fairly new convert, and I thought it was totally ridiculous to think that you could persuade your children NOT to date people of other religions) I learned quickly that my children were likely to marry the ones they dated, and I started trying to express to them the potential problems with that. For the same reasons as above, dating outside your religion is a problem. It has the potential to cause problems, and once again, the children of "mixed religious" marriages do suffer in numerous ways. Some people believe that this is where the scriptures were talking about being "unequally yoked". Funky Fool, many people have prejudices. They are not all race related either. I have dealt with people who have "fat" prejudices, religious prejudices, political prejudices, and sexual prejudices. I had a black friend in high school that flat out told me one day that white people THINK they have a corner on the prejudice market. She told me that we were wrong, and that blacks were just as prejudice as whites. Then, she went on to tell me about another black girl that we both knew who was extremely light skinned. When this girl first transferred into the all black school, none of them would talk to her, because they all thought she was white. It was not until they met her parents that this school full of black kids realized that the young girl was simply a light skinned black girl. I knew growing up that my father was very prejudice. (or; so I thought) It was part of the culture of Mississippi in that era. I desperately wanted to not be prejudice and to not make my children that way; so I worked on it. However, I have seen (as I have gotten older) WHY my father freaked out when I had a black foster child for a week. I have come to understand WHY he was so upset about whites dating outside of their own race. He was older than I was and had seen more things than I had. My idealistic way of looking at things did not last long in this world. The older I get, and the more things I see, the more I realize that what I conceived to be my father's prejudice was not truly prejudice against black people. . . . . .it was prejudice against what he knew would be hurtful. He did not want me to experience some of the awful prejudices that he had observed himself. I believe that everyone has prejudices of some kind at various times in their lives. It is simply a prejudgment or preconception about something we don't understand or know about. It can be a normal human response to something unfamiliar. The problem is when we allow a prejudgment to become a "concrete" idea that can not be changed when it could and should be. When we hang on tight to that prejudgment and use it to be hurtful or ugly to someone, we are being prejudice. Having a prejudgment or preconception about something unfamiliar to us is not necessarily bad, it is what we "DO" with that notion that can be bad. If we would all truly practice the Golden Rule and do unto others as we would have them do unto us, we would all be a lot happier. Unfortunately, the world just does not work that way. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you wind up married to the wrong person. I had one son in law that was the same religion and the same race, but he did not share the same beliefs or goals. The marriage lasted seven years. I got two wonderful grandkids out of the deal. They and their mother are, and will probably always, continue to pay for the "differences" in that marriage. What I told my children (and which several of them chose to ignore) was: Choose wisely Date within your religion Date within your race Date under lots of circumstances: lots of different activities and with various people and places . . . . see how they behave in different places, times, and with different people Find out just how much you really have in common and go for the one that you have the most in common with. Date long enough to be sure that you REALLY know what type of person you are dating Don't date just one person. . . . make a habit of going out with a different person every other date Date to have fun not to get serious Set your goals and stick with them . . . . if you want to marry in the Temple. . . don't settle for less. Now, if I had looked at my list above 30 years ago, I would have accused myself of being extremely prejudice in many ways. At this time, I don't consider myself prejudiced. . . . . . I consider myself a mom who wants desperately for her children to have the best chance at a good marriage, and I want them to eliminate all the potentially negative things that they possibly can eliminate. However, in the end, I don't have a say so about who my children marry. . . . . . I raised them to make decisions for themselves. I pray constantly that they make the right decisions for them and the ones the Lord would have them make. Back to the original question, I do not believe that I am better than anyone else regardless of color. I am one of Heavenly Father's children, and so are other people. I do not love any of my children more than the others; so I expect that Heavenly Father loves us equally. I do get mad at some of my kids for their behaviors, and I have punished some of them; so that makes sense to me that Heavenly Father would, too. I have rewarded some children for certain good behavior, and it makes sense that Heavenly Father would, too. I agree with Josie. . . . .YES, there is prejudice in the Church, the world, people in general, and it is wrong. I have seen various degrees of it both in and outside of the Church. If the people who are in the Church were perfect, they would have been translated already. My father made the comment to me "all Churches are full of hypocrites" when I was investigating the Church. He was not against the LDS Church. . . . .he had some bad experiences years before with religious leaders, and he was not too keen on any church at that time. My response to him, which I still believe is true today, was, "What better place for them?" Peace to all, TXRed

In answer to your original question: If the WoW was removed, I still would not drink Coffee, Tea, or alcohol of any kind. I am a convert of 28 years, and those were not things I did before I joined the Church. I did learn to like my Mother in Law's Tea, but I think it was only because she put so much sugar in it. I never drank tea before being around her. I also did not smoke previously. However, I grew up around people who enjoyed all of the above. I consider myself an "alcoholic" simply because I believe that if I ever learned to like alcohol, I would be an alcoholic. Quite a few relatives on both sides of my family have alcohol problems. Mean drunks are not a pleasant site, and I've seen a few. In fact, there is nothing uglier than a drunk woman . . . . . . . . . . . . .unless it is a FAT drunk woman. (don't bother to "flame" me on this one. . . . it's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it. It is also another reason why I don't ever want to become an alcoholic. I am a large woman, and I had a large aunt who was a really "mean" drunk, and she drank quite often. Take my word for it, it is not a pretty site!!!) Cigarettes turned my father's fingers brown and literally ate up my father in laws lungs as well as a dear neighbor. Cigarette smoke makes me have headaches and irritates my allergies. Coffee stinks, and personally, I think it only has one good use, and it is not drinking. On the whole, I have enough problems without introducing those particular items into my life. I have done fine without them for years; so in my opinion, why would I want to bring them into my life even if the Church okayed it? I have also eliminated Dr. Pepper (I was a Dr. Pepper - holic big time . . . . . another reason I believe that I would be tempted to be an alcoholic. . . . . . . .I already have had some issues with "over doing") and Halloween from my life. Halloween is an issue that I get lots of "flaming" about from people who like to celebrate it. I don't judge other people on whether or not they celebrate Halloween, but lots of people judge me simply because I don't. I also don't judge other people about their use of coffee, tea, alcohol, or cigarettes. . . . . . . I don't use them which is my choice. Others use them which is their choice. Just don't try to persuade me to do something which I am not interested in doing (using those items), and for goodness sakes, DO NOT ask me to tell you why I believe that those things are bad for me or anyone else, because I just might tell you. NOT! I absolutely will tell people if they ask me why I think those substances are bad for you. The problem is that when people ask, and I tell, they ASSUME that I am being judgmental which is not the case at all. I simply am expressing what I believe and feel to be the truth on a subject. . . .simply explaining why I behave the way I do. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, and that's okay. However, I do expect the courtesy of being allowed to have my own opinion without someone trying to make me feel that my opinion is wrong. Peace, TXRed

I know one young man who goes into Wal Mart with his wife and waits until they are on an aisle with some elderly woman to say, "Hey, Sis, Mom's on the other aisle. . . . . ..Come on, give me a kiss. . . . . .she won't see." Just cracks him up to see the various reactions. I'm telling you, we all, obviously spend waaaaaaaaaaaay too much time in Wal Mart, because most of us have done some really goofy things there. In fact, our YW's group went on a "shopping spree" to Wal Mart as an activity. All they did was to go try on strange looking clothing styles (different than what they might normally buy) and take their pictures in the clothes. They had a blast! But, they did not buy anything. My hubby likes to prod me to hurry up and leave Wal Mart by embarrassing me. He comes up behind me and pats me on the behind and makes a few comments to me. Yes, we're married, but it still never fails to embarrass me. So; I conclude that Wal Mart is NOT just a store. . . . . . . . . . . .it's a Recreation Center. Merry Christmas!! & Peace, TXRed

Sounds like you are working on the right track. She will show up when the time is right. Be patient. Peace, TXRed

Hey, that's the way to do it . . . . pick the kind you like, that is. We had another tradition that involved candy, too. Well, two. And, even though the kids are adults, they think we are suppose to continue with these traditions. 1. February 14th - my husband started buying candy and separating it into seven baggies and laying it out on the dining room table on the morning of Feb 14 before anyone got up. He wrote their name on the baggie; so when they got up, they each got their own baggie of candy from Dad. Last year, I spent more on postage than I did the candy. Our children think they are still suppose to get their bag of candy from Dad, but now, we have the grandkids and the spouses who have to have bags, too. It's a nightmare. Actually, it is really a lot of fun, but the postage does make it a little more difficult since only one son and his wife live close enough to get their bag. 2. Easter - We started having Easter campouts when we only had two children and we found ourselves away from home. We stopped at a roadside park for sunrise breakfast. (prior to Church membership) When we started attending Church and joined right after the 3rd child was born, we decided that we would campout on Friday night and have sunrise breakfast Saturday morning. Plus, we invited other families to join us. As the years rolled by, I decided that I really did not want to mess with the Easter Bunny and dyed eggs. We had gone to an event where they set up a haypile with candy, money, and other goodies in it for the kids to dig in and find. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, we would have potluck dinner on Friday night with several other families, campout in our back pasture, have sunrise breakfast, and then, we had our haypile hunt. Each family brought two bags of individually wrapped candies for their children who were going to participate. I emptied all of the candy into a bag or box, mixed them up, and then, I had the kids separate into three age groups. The littliest got to go first, and I put about 1/3 of the candy in the haypile and turned them loose. Then, the second age group took a turn, and then the older kids. When we moved here, we could have a fire outside, and we found that most of the parents here would not come with their kids; so we wound up with a giant slumber party. One year, I wound up staying in the room where the boys were (rocking in my chair) until they fell asleep. I had already sent all of the girls upstairs. Around 2 in the morning, something woke me up. . . . when the boys finally went to sleep, I dozed in my chair. Well, I got out of my chair and went to see what was going on upstairs. But, first, I walked into the living room where my oldest son was sleeping on the floor. (He was probably 24 or 25 at the time) He had been "teepeed". The girls had come downstairs and put toilet paper all over him. He was still snoring not realizing that he'd been "teepeed" until he woke up in the morning. So; I went on upstairs to check on the girls, but as I got to the bottom of the stairs, one of the girls came out of the room and headed for the upstairs bathroom; so I stepped away from the stair doorway and kept quiet until she returned to the bedroom. I could hear all of the girls laughing and giggling from the bottom of the stairs, and I was trying to go up quietly, but that staircase creaks terribly, and I thought I would get caught any time. Those girls had been in two different rooms when they went upstairs, but then, they all went to one room, and they were laughing and giggling so much that they did not hear me "creaking" up the stairs. I stood next to the door and listened to them laugh about having covered my son with toilet paper, and then, they laughed about how they had gone into the room where the boys and I were, and one boy woke up and looked at them and went back to sleep. Apparently, they considered "teepeeing" mom, too, but when they got close, I snored and it scared them; so they took off back up the stairs. Then, they were talking about how much fun it would be to get shoe polish and write on all of the car windows. One daughter asked the other one if she had any shoe polish, and she said she did . . . . . .in her bedroom, but she refused to go get it and told her sister where it was if she wanted it. At this point, I knew that I was fixing to be found out, so I tried to figure out what I was going to do. When my daughter opened the door, I screamed bloody murder, and she and all of the other girls squealed and jumped back into bed and under the covers. I started repeating everything that I had just heard them saying. Then, I told them to go to bed and go to sleep, and I turned the lights off and stayed at the top of the stairs awhile until I knew everyone had dozed off. All this time, hubby is sleeping. I decided that after that year, we were going to limit the number of teenagers, because I was exhausted. :) I finally moved the activities to Saturday morning and until lunch time. Made it a lot easier on me. We served a pancake breakfast, let the kids play outside for awhile until hubby got the tractor and trailer set up. Then, he drove everyone who was there (some parents came for breakfast, too) to the City Park which is only a few blocks from us. They had watergun fights all the way there and back. Then, we did the infamous haypile hunt. Well, things have really evolved with that haypile hunt. A few years back, some of the adults decided that they would pull some of the teenagers out of the haypile and snatch their candy bags; so it became a free for all. Then, over the years, several of the adults decided that they wanted to get in on the fun of the haypile, so they bring extra candy and jump in to the hay. That gets pretty hairy, because they all start dumping hay on each other and down their shirts, etc. I stand back and video the whole thing, but I'm not crazy enough to get in there with them. Plus, at this point, most of them are wet and the hay sticks to them very well. Even the missionaries have come out for the past couple of years to get in the haypile. It's all fun, it's easy, and since everyone brings stuff, it's not too expensive. (that is, if you don't want it to be. . . . . .I usually buy extra candy just in case) Plus, most of us moms sneak out a few pieces of our favorites before it ever makes it to the haypile. Peace, TXRed

Did you understand my pillowcase info? It does not HAVE to be done on a serger. I have one; so I use it. You can do a straight stitch, and then, you can zizzag the edges if you choose. I wish I could explain how to do the pillowcases with no raw edges, but they never could explain it to me. . . . . they had to "show" me. Basically, it is done with "French seams" if you are familiar with that. The reason I love the pillowcases so much is because I can make everyone of them differently and yet they are all similar. Sometimes, if there are three children in one family, I will make the body of the pillowcase all the same fabric, but then, I make the hems and the trims differently; so the children can tell whose is whose. I also buy fabric that is something I think that particular child will like. I like to buy flannel with bears, tigers, etc. for boys (especially teenage boys. . . .. . . I was up one Christmas Eve night making pillowcases for three teenagers that were coming for Christmas Dinner. . . . . I already had a box of candy for them, but one of my sons walked in while I was wrapping the box and told me that those kids all knew what I was giving them. I asked him how they knew, and he pointed out that I'd been getting them the same thing every year . . . .. so; I got into my fabric stash and quickly made three pillowcases . . . . . they were all very excited, because you can not buy pillowcases like the ones I made. It was soooooo much fun!) The Christmas fabric that I bought to make pillowcases for my grandchildren will probably get sewn this next week; so I can mail them out the first week of December. That way, they get to use them all month before Christmas. Tonight, I went to Wal Mart and bought several very plain solid color flannel to make my son some pillowcases. He is in Iraq, and he told me that he only has a travel pillow, but he wanted to make sure that I did not make any pillowcases that he could be teased about. (cartoon type) I bought a yard of flannel for $2.97. I got two shades of brown, one brown print, and a dark green. I also found some brown sheets to send him, too. I will probably embroider his name on all of them someplace. I need those sent out by the first of the month, too. A lot of time, I buy inexpensive pillows at the Dollar Store and give them with the pillowcases. I think you will really enjoy making some gifts, and after you do the first pillowcase, you will see how simple it is, and you will want to make more. If I did not make my instructions clear enough, let me know, and I will draw it out, scan it into my computer and e-mail it out to you. Have fun! Happy Thanksgiving! Peace, TXRed P.S. e-mail [email protected] if you want more info

Oh, my goodness. . . . ...sorry if you misunderstood me. I'm not the least bit upset, and I understood that you were playing devil's advocate. (a roll I play quite often myself) :) Some things I'm very cautious about sharing, but I did not feel the least bit cautious about what I shared on here at this time. I live in TX which is not a "big" LDS site. In fact, there are more Baptist churches in our little town than Carter has little pills. (and we only have about 3,000 people in our community. We have to drive 20 minutes to the next town to go to Church.) So; we are quite use to having people come down on us about various aspects of religion. And, then there are those who don't quite understand when someone says they were "prompted by the spirit" or that "God let them know that they were suppose to do something ". Sometimes, if a person has never had an experience like that, they think someone who says they have is a total nutcase. I'm so sorry if I came across as being upset. I promise, I was far from it. I was simply trying to express my opinion, but I was definitely not offended at all. In a way, I was trying to confirm that I agreed with some of the other posters. Again, I apologize if I came across wrong. You don't owe me an apology, and you did not upset me. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day! Peace, TXRed

Taxicab Confessions... A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and Enter the Kingdom." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff. Next it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Robert Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed." Now, that's what I call results. It'd definitely work on me. Peace, TXRed

There you go again, Winnie! You are my kind of lady! Over the past several years, I have made LITERALLY 100's of pillowcases. In fact, I had my youngest time me once, and I can make two in 15 minutes on my serger. (It's an old one and does not even go as fast as the newer ones). 1. Here's what I do: 3/4 yard of fabric for the "body" 1/4 yard of fabric for the "cuff" 2.5 inches or 3 inches of fabric for the trim I lay out the 3/4 yd on the table. . . . right side up then, I fold the 2.5 inch strip in half and place it at the top of the 3/4 yd piece with the raw edge up then, I fold the 1/4 yard pc in half and place it on top of the "trim" pc w/ raw edge up Now, I pin all three pieces together and stitch them together. (they may not be the exact same length, but that doesn't matter right now) Next, I iron the fabric flat so that I can see it with the trim piece between the body and the hem. Fold right sides together and stitch a seam down the side and across the bottom. Turn the fabric inside out, and the pillowcase is finished. This fits a regular size pillow. To make a larger pillowcase, use the same technique. . . .just make the body piece longer. When we have missionaries in our ward, I invite them over a few weeks before Mother's Day and have the missionaries make pillowcases (preferably with TX fabric) to send home to their mom's. I've bought enough Christmas fabric to make pillowcases for all of my grandchildren for Christmas. Sometimes, I put lace in between the hem and the body. In fact, I am working on a gift for a new bride right now; so I bought 1 yard of white on white satin fabric and cut it into 3/4 and 1/4. Then, I will sew the pieces back together and stitch a really pretty decorative trim on the seam. Actually, for this particular one, I found two trims that I liked, and I will sew them one over the other right over the seam line to decorate the pillowcase. To me, this is a consumeable gift since it is something that we all use and wear out eventually. It's fast and easy, and I can personalize them for the individual. No one else has pillowcases quite like the ones I can make. And, it is a lot of fun! 2. I'm currently working on potholders. I've been experimenting with "faux chenille" I put several layers of 9" squares of flannel stacked on top of each other. Then, I draw a chalkmark from the upper left corner to the lower right corner. Then, I draw a chalkmark every 1/2 an inch until I've covered the entire square. I sew a stitch line on the chalkline. Once all the stitch lines are sewn, I take my scissors and cut all but the bottom layer of fabric right down the middle between each stitch line. Last, but not least, I bind the edges all the way around. Now, it is ready to go in the washing machine and in the drier; so that it fluffs up to give the appearance of chenille. On some of them, I did like six layers of flannel. On others, I did four layers of flannel (easier to go through the machine), plus I added a layer of 10" backing and a layer of 9" batting. On these, I stitched all pieces together and then folded the bottom layer edge in half and them over the top to bind the whole thing. It's really been fun, and each one turns out differently depending on what colors I use and what order I place the colors in. 3. I'm also working on a couple of placemats to match the potholders for one daughter in law. I'm working on special pillowcases that will have embroidery on the hem for one daughter, and I've got some preprinted Christmas aprons to do up for all of the girls (daughters and in laws) 4. I am also going to do up a Linus blanket to turn in at the quilt shop. It's for a good cause, and for each blanket turned in, a ticket goes into a drawing for a new Janome sewing machine. I don't really need that particular machine, but I figured it would make a fabulous gift for just about anyone. (and, I have a good friend who could use one, plus three daughters and two daughter in laws) 5. Around here, a lot of people are making "flannel tonight" quilts or lap throws. Two 9" squares of flannel, one 8" square of cotton batting. Sandwich the batting between the squares of flannel, starting at the lower left hand corner, go up, over, down, and back to the beginning. (sewing a 1/2 inch seam) Then, stitch straight up to the middle of the top seam, down to the middle of the bottom seam line, diagonally to the middle of the left seam, straight across to the middle of the right seam, and diagonally down to the lower left corner again. This should make a primitive star like we use to draw when we were in school. Now, set that piece aside and do all of the other squares the same way. Once all of the squares are "quilted" together, you lay them out on the floor to decide what arrangement you want to put them in. (you can use as many colors as you choose) Now, you take two squares and sew them together . . . . . stitch down once and then back up once. Add another square stitching it the same way until you have that first row completed. Now, stitch the second row together. Third, etc. You now have "rows" of squares; so you start sewing the "rows" together. Stitch down once and then back up once each time until all of your squares are secured together. One side of this quilt will be like regular seams, and the other side will be sticking out. This is also called a "rag quilt". Stitch around the outside of the entire quilt two more times in the same stitch line. On the exposed seam side, you "clip" the exposed seam in a diagonal manner almost up to the seam line. Be cautious NOT to cut the stitching lines. The clipping part is probably the most time consuming part of the whole thing. Now, take it outside and shake it several times really hard to get rid of as many loose threads as possible. Thow it into the washer and then into the drier, and it will fluff up or fray the edges. Winnie, if you get a chance, send me some ideas. Also, I'm sorry about your problems with your house. I hope that all works out well for you. Peace, TXRed

Good question! My personal feelings are that since so many do celebrate Halloween, the Church tries to make it a "safer" time by having trunk or treat parties at Church. (in other words, I don't think it is a matter of the Church thinking it is not evil or them thinking that it is. I think it is one of those things that we all have to decide for ourselves.) In fact, in our little town, you don't see many kids out trick or treating, because almost all of the Churches (every denomination) has a party to keep the kids off the streets. I appreciate you saying that you respect the choice of those who chose not to celebrate Halloween. In my old ward, there were only 2 families that did not celebrate Halloween. When the other mom and I realized that we were similar in that respect, we started repeating all of the ugly things that had been said to us. I don't care who celebrates Halloween. In fact, I loved Halloween when I was a kid. Over the years, I saw that things could not be (for my children) like they were when I was a kid. For one thing, hubby and I lived way out in the country with the closest neighbors over a mile every direction. My sister in law took her children into the town we were raised in and was very selective about where she took them. (two or three neighbors of her mom and 2 / 3 neighbors of her in laws) As a child, we were not too keen on kids coming into our neighborhood from miles away; so I was not in favor of doing that either. Early on, I decided that if my children could not celebrate Halloween safely like we did then, I would only allow them to go to Halloween parties at people's homes. . . . .no trick or treating. Then, I read some literature on Halloween that a friend gave me, and one of the poems that was in the material really tugged at my heart; so I decided to just eliminate it all together. Since we lived way out and no one came trick or treating at our house, it was fairly easy to eliminate the whole thing. Then, we started getting pressure from Church members, because we would not participate in the Church activity for Halloween. My feelings were . . . .. .why should I bring back an activity that I had eliminated? I felt that the Church was trying to help keep the children safe who would otherwise be out on the streets trick or treating. Mine weren't; so why should I bring something into my life that I had managed to eliminate? I bought plenty of candy, and we turned out all of the lights and watched movies as a family all night. When we moved to our new home which is actually in the city limits, we continued with our lights out and watch the movies thing. We also continued to have some Church people criticize us for not participating in the Church activity. (we are probably the ONLY family in this new ward that does not celebrate Halloween) Apparently, they thought we believed they were doing wrong. I really don't. I think it is a "free agency" thing. . . . . I have the right to NOT acknowledge the Halloween holiday, and others have the right TO celebrate Halloween. I am not the least bit offended that others celebrate it, but I do get offended by those who hassle me about my choice. As my kids became teenagers, I allowed them to decide if they wanted to go to some of the Haunted Houses, but I asked that they NOT go on Halloween night. Then, as they got even older, they chose to occasionally go to the Church activity. They all knew how I felt about celebrating Halloween, but they were in their late teens; so I felt like they were capable of making decisions about that for themselves. This year, one of my daughters (who is 23) called me to tell me that she had gone trick or treating for the very first time in her life. She and her older sister had taken two of my grandchildren out. She was trying to annoy me by telling me that she had gone out for the first time and had eaten some of the candy and had not died yet. I told her, "You haven't eaten it all YET". I figured that if she could try to annoy me, I could shoot it back at her. Anyway, she was not getting the response she wanted; so she kept laughing and telling me, "I'm grooowed!" I told her that if she was really grown, she wouldn't have to keep on insisting that she is with me. B) The truth is that as their mother, I made the decision when they were younger about whether or not we would celebrate Halloween. That was my job. . . . .. to protect and guide them the best I could and in the way I felt I should. They are grown, and it is now their decision to make if they choose to celebrate Halloween or not. Those that are parents now have the responsibility to decide for their own children whether or not they will celebrate Halloween. That is their job. . . . .not mine. I have done what I felt was right for MY family, and I expect others to do the same whether they agree with my methods or not. I really sometimes miss the kind of Halloweens that I celebrated as a child, but I don't believe it is safe enough to do that anymore. I refuse to take my children trick or treating and then go to the hospital to have their candy bags exrayed. (that's what they do in some of the towns around the Dallas area) My kids were certainly never deprived of candy, and they got to pick out what kinds they wanted to eat. This past October 31st, there was only hubby and myself in the house. We went to the grocery store and bought what treats we wanted, saw a few trick or treaters on some of the streets, came home and fixed our dinner and treats, turned the lights out, and watched the old Johnny Weismiller Tarzan movies. Actually, we chose to watch the "making" of the Tarzan movies which was so much fun. We laughed all night and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. B) We've been here now for 11 years, and no one has ever come to our door trick or treating. Of course, there are limited numbers of children in our neighborhood, and most of them think our house is haunted; so that could have something to do with the lack of trick or treaters. So; brothers & sisters, you do your thing, and I'll do mine. Peace, TXRed

If you are doing "random acts of kindness" with the idea in mind that you are racking up the blessings, you are NOT doing random acts of kindness. In fact, I'd be concerned that I was adding fuel to my own "burning". (so to speak) "Random", to me, means that it was not something premeditated or planned out. It was spontaneous. Now, granted, I believe that some of us have to "practice" by planning acts of kindness in the beginning until we learn to "hear" the spirit and follow through on the promptings. I believe that the more often we "listen" to the spirit and follow through on the promptings, the more promptings we are privileged to receive. And, I agree with the lady who wrote that she remembers the things she did . . . . . not because she is counting the blessings. . . . . .but because they were special blessings that she received right then from doing those things. I hesitate to share some of my personal experiences simply because too often others assume we are bragging. I too feel that I simply did what I was told to do. And, I can tell you that the feeling is fabulous when you KNOW that you did what you were prompted to do. Sometimes, you never even know WHY you were suppose to do whatever it was, but when you find out the WHYs, that is fantastic!!! It makes you really understand that the Lord is mindful of each and every one of us. . . . . . . and. . . . . .the great part is that HE allows us the privilege of doing things for HIM and allowing HIM to use us. . . . . . kind of like HIS arms. I had the privilege once of taking a lady to the hospital for radiation treatments every day for a week. One day, I drove her to the hospital in Dallas (about 45 minutes from where she lived) and then I drove her back to her house, and I turned around and went back to Carrollton to do some shopping. On my way back home, I had to go through her little town, and I got the message, "Go check on Pat". Well, I told myself that was dumb, because I'd just seen her earlier and I would be seeing her again the next day. So; I kept heading towards the outskirts of her town, but the message came in loud and clear again. My response was not a nice one, I practically yelled that it was dumb, because I'd see her again in the morning. As I reached the bridge that would take me outside of her city limits, the spirit almost shouted at me, "GO check on Pat!!!" I said outloud, "FINE!" Then, I turned my car around and went back to Pat's house. When I pulled up out front, she motioned me from the living room window to come in, and when I did, she burst into tears. She told me that she had gotten up to fix her lunch, but her leg hurt so bad that she couldn't stand there long enough to use the microwave. She got herself back to the couch, but she hurt too bad to get up even to get a drink of water. She had been sitting there praying that someone would come and help her. She'd been praying for help, and I'd been arguing with the spirit about whether or not I needed to go back to her house. To top it all off, she got a phone call from the doctor telling her that her leg was broken (hairline fracture in the upper leg) which was why she was in so much pain. I felt sooooooooooo bad that I'd been arguing with the Spirit when I realized that the Lord was trying to answer her prayers by trying to get me to go help her. So many times, I've had that type of thing happen to me, and yet I still sometimes fight with the spirit. Sometimes, the Lord has to practically hit me in the head to get me to listen. The more we actually practice listening and acting on those promptings, the more privileges we receive in that type of manner. I did not do anything out of the ordinary except to finally give in and do what I was told to do. That doesn't make me anything special, but it sure did teach me a lot. I learned that I needed to be more obedient and quicker about doing so. I learned that Heavenly Father is very mindful of all of HIS children regardless of who they are or what religion they are. I learned that HE can use us to do HIS bidding if we are willing. I learned (at least for a time period) to pay more attention to promptings. I still, on occasion, fight the promptings. (I guess I'm a slow learner) When we have the opportunity to serve others, we are rewarded. It feels good, and it makes us feel good. There is not any reward that is better than the pure pleasure of helping someone. Practice! Listen! Seek after opportunities to be of service! Be obedient to that still small voice! Peace, TXRed

thanks, Winnie! I like Monica's idea!!! Peace, TXRed

Idahodad, I've not had to deal with your particular situation, but one of my daughters is divorced with two children, and I am aware of her concerns that actually parallel your own. In fact, she once said that she did not want anyone to know she had kids in the beginning, because she did not want them to fall in love with the kids first or for the kids to be hurt by someone who tried too hard to please her by trying to please the children to get to their mom. As a mom, her children have to be her biggest concern, and you have that same responsibility as a Dad and the primary care giver. Your kids need to be your number 1 focus right now especially at their age. There is a man in my town that has custody of his daughter, and I have to tell you that just the fact that he has custody and spends so much time with his daughter and her friends taking them to the ball games, etc. really makes me admire this man. He is older, but his daughter is only 11, and he has been divorced for a number of years now, but he has yet to start dating. He just has not felt that it was his top priority in life. My daughter has been separated from her ex for over two years now. The ex moved in with someone and married in less than a year from the actual divorce. The only time he wants to see or talk to the children is when he wants to try to bully my daughter. She has gone on the singles internet sites, and she has chatted with a few people. She actually went out on a date recently, but the guy wanted to spend their time discussing their ex's which is a big turnoff. He also was extremely rude and did not even have the common courtesy to open the doors for her when they went into buildings. Daughter wanted to just go have an enjoyable evening with someone and not discuss their previous lives and woes. She has been to some of the younger adult activities and some of the older adult activities. She feels like you do. . . . . .that she does not quite fit in in either group. (age 28) As her mother, I worry about her meeting people on the internet, and I try to encourage her to be very cautious. I just wanted to tell you that, as her mother, if I met you and you seemed like a nice guy and one who goes to the Temple, I would be encouraging her to go out with you. The fact that you have custody of three children would weigh heavy (on the positive side) with my feelings about her dating you. To me, a man who is "man" enough to take care of his children and who actually has custody of them is someone who ranks high in my opinion. My own background is that I grew up with men relatives who believed that children were to "play" with occasionally once they got to a certain age. These men did not believe that it was in anyway their responsibility to help take care of the children. In fact, they actually spent a great deal of time putting my husband down because he helped with caring for and raising our children. It was very comforting for me to know that if anything happened to me even in childbirth, my hubby would take the newborn home and take care of it and the rest of the children. He would not have allowed anyone to step in and take over which would mean that the children would have lost both parents at one time. (My aunt was raised by her aunt, and her sister was raised by a different aunt, because the father felt he couldn't cope when the mother died. So; my aunt actually lost BOTH of her parents and her sister at one time since she rarely ever saw her father or her sister.) My personal opinion: Go to the Temple often Pray constantly that the Lord will bring the right person into your life at the right time Prepare yourself to be the best father and husband you can be Honor your priesthood and let your children see how important your priesthood is to you Don't worry so much about how others will see you. . . . do what you know is right and take care of your family first Do your best to do all of the things that the Church has taught you over the years and strengthen your family Go to the Temple often . . . . . yes, I know I already said that one, but you can go pour out your heart to the Lord there, plus, you never know. . . ... that may be the place to meet that special someone. (yes, I know that you normally don't meet anyone while at the Temple, but when your ward organizes Baptisms or Temple Excursions, a lot of times they will organize them with other Wards and will go out to dinner afterwards where you can meet and talk. Plus, you might meet in the cafeteria and be introduced by someone you know. It can happen if you leave it up to the Lord. One thing about it, if you meet someone at the Temple, at least, you know they have a Temple Recommend. Plus, if you are Temple worthy, there is no sense in dating anyone that is not. Be sure to pray constantly even once you've found someone to date. And, after a few dates, consider approaching the idea of praying together or going to Church functions together. Once you find someone you enjoy going out with, be sure to go out with them in many different types of settings. See how they act around your friends or around their friends. See how they act during various activities such as bowling, dancing, horseback riding, etc., etc., etc. See if they only like expensive dates or are they satisfied with various types of dates. I always told my girls that if a guy does not spend money on you while you are dating, he sure won't once you are married. One of my ex son in laws would take my daughter to a fast food joint and buy her a child's meal. (while he ate whatever he wanted to) He rarely took her anywhere, and when they married, he did not even support his family most of the time. (Plus, he was very quick to ask hubby & myself for $, food, whatever he wanted.) Don't misunderstand, I don't want my girls to be money grubbers. I want someone to treat them like they are special, because they are. I want the guy they date to take them to nice restaurants (on occasion), take them on creative inexpensive dates but make them feel special, spend time with them and with their friends. And, of course, for the daughters that are now single Moms, I would want someone to get to know them well and then get to know their children. Dating as a single parent is a whole different ballgame, and it just involves a lot more than dating as a single adult. It's a package deal. You not only have yourself to consider, you have your children's welfare to consider. Take it slow. Be prayerful. Be patient. The Lord has someone out there for you. You have to be patient and prepare yourself to be the best catch you can be, and then, HE will send the best one for you to you when you and she are both ready. Peace, TXRed P.S. Remember that common good manners never go out of style

Winnie, good luck in your move. I appreciate hearing that your family & your hubby were admired and helped out. I hope that my son (who is currently stationed near Baghdad) will find that he enjoys the Army enough to make it a career and that he and his family are as well liked as yours obviously has been. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Moving is not something that I like to do. Of course, if I would move a little more often, maybe I wouldn't accumulate so much junk. Peace, TXRed P.S. My oldest son spent his mission in the Calgary, Alberta Mission. He loved it there!

On October 11, 2005, hubby and I decided to go to the Mexican Restaurant here in town to eat dinner. All by ourselves, we ordered a meal for each of us, and then, we order quesadillas to share in honor of our youngest daughter whose birthday we were celebrating. (she had died on October 1, 2004 at the age of 18) There was a large family group in the same dining room that we were in, and since we knew them, they greeted us cordially. (we only knew them, because one of them was the funeral director that we had dealt with) Since they had gotten there before we did, they finished before we did, and they said bye to us as they left. We continued to linger over our meal and talk about our daughter. When we were ready to leave, hubby went up to the check out stand to pay, and he was told that the guys who had just left had already paid for our meal. The tears started to flow, and I couldn't get out of the restaurant fast enough. I've done things like that before for others, but it was extremely difficult to have someone else do it for me. Plus, I knew that the man couldn't possibly remember that it was our daughter's birthday; so I knew that he had been prompted by Heavenly Father. It's pretty awesome when you KNOW that your Heavenly Father is paying attention to your life even the smaller parts of it. It took me quite awhile before I got the opportunity to talk to that man about it. I thanked him for paying for the meal, and then, I told him that it had been my daughter's birthday. He told me that he did not know that until after he had paid for the meal. His wife reminded him. He did it, because he felt prompted to do it. Then, later on, after his wife explained to him about the birthday, he realized where his prompting had come from. That was pretty significant for both of us. He was pretty excited that, as he put it, "I finally got something right". It's really a lot of fun to take the opportunity to do small acts of kindness when you can. It doesn't have to be anything super big. Sometimes, just making your family meal and preparing a plate to take to a neighbor can be something really great for you and the neighbor. We were at a Chinese Restaurant once in another town when we spotted a couple of LDS missionaries come into the restaurant. So; we went and paid for their meal without them knowing. When they went to pay, the owner told them that someone else had already paid for them. They nervously looked around trying to figure out who in the world they knew in the restaurant. They did not know us since we live an hour away; so they were really puzzled. They left with a nervous giggle and kept looking back until they got out into the parking lot. It was great! We thoroughly enjoyed it. The other day, we were stopped at Wendy's in another town about an hour away from us. Hubby went inside while I waited out in the car. A car with two missionaries and a couple of teenagers pulled up next to our car. I leaned over and said, "You guys aren't from that "Mormon" church are you?" They hesitated a second and then grinned and said, "yes, ma'am". So they stood there and talked to me until hubby came back outside. They were going on splits but were going to get lunch first. When hubby got in the car, I told him to buy their lunch. So; he went back in, but the missionaries were in the restroom; so he gave the money to the teenagers and told them that lunch was on us. Like I said, I find it so much easier to do something for someone else than to let someone else do something for me. My old bishop's wife told me once not to "cheat her of her blessings". She was wanting to bring a meal out to my house when one of my children was born, and I was telling her that it was too much trouble for her to drive 30 minutes when hubby & kids could cook. When she told me not to cheat her, I gave in and let her bring a meal out. What a tremedous blessing that was! Hubby and the kids could have cooked, but when she brought out a meal, I did not have to figure out what to tell them to cook. It took a burden off of me, and obviously took one off of my hubby and kids, too. Sometimes, we don't know the blessings that someone gets when we do something randomly for them or the deep reasons behind the prompting to do something for someone. Sometimes, we are not suppose to know. We just need to follow those small promptings that lead us to do little acts of kindness. It's really super great if we find out later on that there was a special need that lead up to the prompting, but we don't have to find it out. We will be blessed in many ways for just being obedient to the prompting. . . . . ..whatever it might be. It may not even make sense to us. . . . . . . like the Olive Garden manager. The manager may have done it because someone else once did it for her, and she was remembering that. Who knows! It doesn't really matter what reason she did it. . . . ... . . .. .the family was blessed, and I'm sure the manager was, too. In my case, we were struggling with our daughter's birthday. The 1st anniversary of her death which had only been 10 days earlier was very difficult for us. (Much more so than I ever thought it would be. I thought that since we had done so well during the initial time period, we were going to be doing fine, but that was definitely NOT the case.) That first anniversary of her death was so much more difficult than the actual funeral and all was. I was definitely not prepared for that. So; there we were trying to eat at her favorite restaurant (her old boyfriend's father's business), trying to deal with her birthday, and Heavenly Father let us know (by using the funeral director's kindness) that HE had not forgotten us or the fact that we were having a difficult time. Listen to those promptings and be obedient. Peace, TXRed

Winnie, I knew there was something about you that I liked. I LOVE stuffed animals that sing. I have a bear that sings "Let me be your teddy bear", I have a turtle, several chickens, Mr. & Mrs. Claus, etc., etc.,etc. . . . . . . . . .... . . .. . .. . .. . However, I do not delude myself into believing that I buy them for the grandkids. Those are MY toys! Mind you though, I am not above using the grandkids to get what I want. I find what I want and get them to tell me that I NEED it. That way, they can tell Grandpa that I really NEEDED it. Adults laugh at my "collection", but the grandbabies think they are great. My collection is not reserved for just Christmas time either. Hope all is well with your family, Winnie. I've got a new "redheaded" grand baby on the way. Yippee!!! Peace, TXRed

Unless of course they are speaking only to God God put me here on this earth, HE sent HIS son to be my Savior, . . . . . . I think HE knows me pretty well, and I think HE understands the language HE gave me. I have a friend who told me that she speaks in her own "prayer" language and that her church "taught" her how to speak it. Nosey that I am, I ask how they taught her. She said that they told her to just start talking baby talk like "ga ga, goo goo, dada, etc." and then, it would just kind of "flow" from you. That friend is a good Christian woman and very sincere, and I know that the Lord listens to her prayers, but I still don't really understand the need for what she described. I believe in prayer, and I believe in all of the Gifts of God. Prayer needs to be with sincerity, intent, and faith that we will receive answers. The answers are just not always the way we think they are going to be. God knows our hearts, our intent, and our sincerity, and I believe we don't have to worry about the language, because HE knows that, too. Peace, TXRed

Now, YOU, I've missed!!! Hope all is well with you and your family. TXRed

I haven't checked in on this site in quite a long time, but, obviously, not a lot has changed! People are still in here tossing word grenades at each other with very little provocation. Just goes to show that life goes on. I did not personally see that particular segment with his child in his arms, but I did see a different one quite some time back, and I thought to myself that I sure wouldn't have taken my child with me in a place like that. However, I've gotten plenty of criticism over the years for various things I did or did not allow my children to do. What I have learned is that no matter what you do, somebody out there is not going to agree with it. (but, I do not think that is an "American" trait. . . . . it's a "human" trait.) Personally, regardless of the things that I saw him do that I certainly would not be willing to do myself . . . . . . . I was very saddened to hear of his untimely death. His family has really suffered a loss, and I firmly believe that the rest of the world has as well. My personal opinion: the man pushed the envelope. . . . .he took risks that I thought were a little much, (but, then, my children will tell you that I'm over protective) . . . .but,. . . . . he had a great smile and personality, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him. He had one of those personalitites that just kind of made you feel good. Watching him made you know life is good, it is good to be alive, and he was enjoying his life to the very fullest. How many of us can truly say that we are enjoying our lives to their fullest? I, personally, am going to miss having the opportunity to watch his shows, shake my head, and. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . with a feeling of awe and a smile,. . . . . . . .. . . walk away saying, "that man is a nut!" Our world has truly lost someone special. TXRed