sweetiepie

I sent you a pm in your inbox. :)

I have a question...say I have done this (mb) here and there. I realize that I need to talk to the bishop, but I seriously CANNOT say this to him. It was hard enough talking with my husband about it (another story). I can't imagine sitting there with those words coming out of my mouth to that man. It has to do with this particular person. He creeps me and many other ladies out. He looks at you wierd, talks all quiet, just isn't really someone I can go to. Interviews are hard enough to get through. I just realized through these posts recently that mb is a problem needing to go to the bishop about, and I am horrified that I did a temple interview and didn't even think this was needed to confess. Really, I thought it wasn't a good thing, but something for a husband and wife to work out if it isn't an addiction. You don't have to flame me for this, I honestly was under that impression until recently. Really, am completely MORTIFIED at the thought of sitting there alone in a room with another man and saying this to him. I am blushing right now thinking about it!

Besides the house and some school loans, we have no debt. No car loans, no credit cards. You are suggesting that bankruptcy might be our only option eventually? I don't get how you could keep your house from foreclosing. Even if we keep paying our original loan amount they could still foreclose over this?

I went on the HOPE website, and I like how it is free, and a government site. We went directly through the bank for the modify, and the HOPE program has a hotline I can call if we think we were wrongfully denied. So I will try that. Anything feels better that just taking this. What is horrible about what they do to people is stringing them along for over a year in most cases only to have them so behind with the trial payments that they have no chance to even refinance because it looks like crap on their credit.

I think one time and you repented on your own is fine for now. If you still feel wieghed down by it, you could tell him. I think its great you are that age and it hasn't been a problem for you. If it happens again, you might see that you need a little help with it, and you could go to the bishop.

So in the shortest way possible, I will give you the just of it; which is what hundreds of thousands of people are also going through. BOA has our home mortgage. We have always paid payments on time, never missed. Long story short, income was reduced, 5th child, and mortgage was going to go up because of escrow and taxes. We called before the mortage was due to go up stating that we were not going to be able to make extra $200 payments, is there anything we can do...asked about the government modification program, talked to someone about this, and we qualified. First he said you have to be dilenquent on payments, but we were not about to do that. (how stupid) He sent us the paperwork, we sent it back, and we were put on trial payments of $400 less of our original payment amount. Ok forward 11 months later, "lost" faxes, "lost" mailings, over 20 representatives, our contact person had a name but no contact info, they could only email her for us to call us. Never happened over and over. Every person says hang in there, keep making the trial payments, you will be notified. We were denied once in all this, but then they said they will try another way, resend the info...blah, blah, blah. Last yelling spree on the phone by my husband to the "supervisor" was we would be notified in 10 days on the modify. Last week we got a notice to accelerate, which means, oh, we see you are $10,000 behind in your payments, late fees, etc, we are going to start foreclosure proceedings. What the heck? We were current and fine until you guys strung us along for 11 months!! We would have even made it work if you would have denied us within 3 months! What do we do now? I am so upset, we can't get to anyone worthwhile, no one cares. We didn't even get an actual "no" on the modify or the reasons why. Which doesn't make sense because we qualify. I know this is their scam, their evil way of saying they are using the gov money to help people, but in actuality they are making money off of us. Our only hope now is that our actual mortgage is through Freddy Mac, and they were notified of our "delinquency" and we told them our story, and they are going to "suggest" to BOA to modify. What would you do? Besides fasting and praying my heart out, I feel so lost and powerless.

Haha, nice.

If they do, they are not true Latter Day Saints. They are going off on their own and practicing. It is against the church completely. Not to mention against the law.

Maybe my memory is clouded with 5 births, nursing babies, and all inbetween!! I know we have had some really good stretches, they just keep getting interrupted with babies! Thank goodness we are done! My body will get back and actually stay that way! I think I just miss how it was, and hope it gets back close to that someday.

Ok, with all this affection before marriage talk, a girlfriend of mine and I got talking about ow awesome making out was before we got married, how ridiculously long we could make out for, and how now we never make out, or it gets old in 5 minutes! (we both have young children, that is part of it) Then we started talking about how it was almost more alluring and tempting before we got married, and then when we were married, it kinda got, well, not the fireworks we were expecting or even felt while making out when dating. Anyone else (guys too) have that happen? We both said we knew it took time to work the kinks out, but after 13 years, we both still enjoy it, but doesn't even come close to how we felt when dating. Why is that? I am not advertising making out like that before marriage, just that we did, and were comparing before and after. Sometimes I wish I could feel like that again. Maybe when the kids get older and we have more time, we get a second honeymoon phase?

I am guessing the child was not her soon-to-be ex husband's? Either way, as a mother of 5 myself, I wonder how easily it will be for her to actually give up this baby. I think legally she can change her mind for some time after the baby is born, even if you have taken the baby home with you. Saying it is one thing, giving birth, seeing your baby and then giving it up is another. I like what Funky Town said, what is best for the child? If you have a high risk of eventually divorcing, that is one of the hardest things on a child. I feel for this baby already, with a mother who wanted her other children, but decided to not keep this one. Tough one.

Besides prophetic wisdom (which is what the entire Bible is about), isn't it for our bodily health and good? Purify our bodies to become closer to Christ? Abstain from addictions and temptations? It builds our strength against other evils. And it is "governing" ourselves. It is up to us to control our bodies and our "urges" throughout life. Isn't that what it means to become Christ-like? As for BYU Honor Code, I am not familiar with it, but it seems that it is to somewhat keep standards up for personal respect. Teaching college age students to be proud of their appearance, not sloppy, and to start preparing for being temple worthy? Which is hopefully a soon-to reach goal in mind. Just my 2 cents. :)

Stop touching her! She is a virgin, and you respect that, while doing everything except actual sex? Playing with fire, and you know it. She needs to go to her bishop soon before she gives something away to someone she is potentionally not meant to be with (depending on how serious you are). Respect her more. (I have been a horny virgin mormon girl too, who pushed her own fiancee in those ways, and he was respectful enough to be the strong one and take us to the bishop. And he knew what he was missing too).

I saw it with the kids (and I grew up with Ariel and Beauty and the Beast) and have finally found a Disney princess movie up to the same caliber!! Don't get me started with how horrible the Princess and the Frog is. Anatess, I can't figure it out...what is your avatar pic of?? :)

Thanks. We got him on Wellbutrin to try out, this last weekend he was pretty snappy and having trouble with his anger. I think he realized as well that the Prozac completely numbs him out, and it was difficult adjusting to having to deal with them on his own again. He seems better after realizing that.

:itwasntme:Well, nice to meet all of you. I have a better idea now of who is on here, and I agree for the most part the advice has been sound, and common sense can tell you if someone's advice is not in accordance to the church's standards.

My kids and I watched this last night...love it. They made me rewind this part over and over...

Please, really, no offense intended. I am new, and as I read, I have found amazingly intelligent people sharing insights on here. I just wondered what the pull is for those of another religion or the athiest viewpoint to come to and share on this website? Anyone is welcome, I know, but this is an LDS based website and message board. It is sometimes difficult as a member when we ask for advice for certain situations, and get conflicting advice (those gospel oriented, and the world's view). It is hard to determine which advice is which. I wonder if someone is obviously LDS and asking for advice and guidance on an LDS based site, if those offering advice would at least state if they are not LDS, but here is what they think? I am not trying to start anything, just wondering.

I never responded to the original post, so I would like to. I married because I was 19, in college, had no members to date, and wanted desperately to find my husband before I made any mistakes. I prayed every night on my knees for HF to be with my future husband wherever he was and whatever he was doing, so he could find me. I didn't know at the time, but my future husband had fallen away from the church and was in an inappropriate relationship. He had even not gone on a mission because of his choices. He had a decision to make: to take the relationship to the next step, which did not include the church, or break up and change the direction of his life. He didn't understand why, but he suddenly felt very strongly to break up with her and move away. He and his twin brother decided to move several states away for work and moved into my ward. So when I walked into church that day with my twin sister, and saw the two cute single twin brothers, it hit me like lightning. I immediately knew which one was the one, I didn't even look at his brother. So a little pursuading for my sis to agree on a double date, from the moment he held my hand on that date, I knew. Later when I found out about his past, and he told me he had repented and was so scared that he hurt his future wife (hopefully me), I forgave him. He married me in the St Louis Temple 13 years ago, and I know my HF gave him to me, because even though life has been hard, and we aren't perfect, he loves me unconditionally. (it even says he would love his wife "unconditionally" in his patriarchal blessing). Thanks for letting me share!!

I am a twin also, so I understand how painful it must be to have such a strained relationship with your sister. My twin is part of me, so if she was doing what your sister was doing, it would hurt very much. I can only say that you have to let her make her own decisions, and make that separate from you. I know how hard it is to let go of resentment, but that is what the Savior is for, and He can help take that from you if it is too much for you to do on your own. I promise that if you ask Him in sincere prayer and honest intent to take this hurt and resentment from you, He will. Pray for her and hope someday she comes back. If she keeps dragging you into things that you don't want or need to deal with, then say you are there for her when she needs you and when she is ready to get her life back. Until then, you aren't going to help her push everything good away. You can't convince her of anything, this is all up to her, and you staying angry and upset with her is what Satan does to push her family and support further from her. Sneaky, ain't he? Do what you can for you, and for you to keep the spirit within you.

uhm...gross. And the people were making really weird groaning noises...

When you are depressed, you have a big, dark, cloud hanging over you, even if your life is otherwise perfect. I speak from experience. I know you can't see it while in that dark cloud, but it will clear, and you will be happy again. The Lord's atonement was not just for sins, but to take away burdens you can't handle. Sometimes that includes getting help, and getting on medication. My answer was not to just rely on the Lord, but to get back on my antidepressants. Within 2 weeks, the cloud began to lift.

New issue I need a little advice for. My husband went on Prozac for the first time about 8 months ago for depression. This was his first time, and his symptoms had been there for a few years actually. Weve been through a lot, and I was pregnant with our 5th child when things got worse for him. Though we generally get along very well and treat each other and our children with respect, he was very emotionally detached from us. He became very unmotivated with work, very snappy at me and the kids, his temper flared easily (not like him generally), and was tired and didn't feel well most of the time. After years of this, and an ultimative from me at the end of my rope and pregnancy, he went to his doctor and was diagnosed with depression and put on prozac. Now, he has already been to the doctor at this point with some sexual issues, mainly desire. Now all this points that it had to do with his depression. So long story short, the Prozac was a miracle for his depression. Within a month he was my sweet, loving, motivated, caring, thoughtful husband again. His temper threshold was 10 times better, he was relaxed again, enjoyed life, the kids, got a raise at work after a few months, lost 10 lbs, hasn't felt better. Besides the fact that the Prozac made it impossible for him to orgasm. Like literally impossible. But, at the time, I wasn't complaining...just had a baby, he was feeling better at least. Ok, so at the 6 month mark, the doctor decides that he should wean off the medicine, because it probably has done its job. I was so worried that it would come back...yeah, 2 months now, and he is starting up again. He is starting to snap at the kids, I can see that little things they do are getting to him more, he isn't patient, he is nit picking at the house if the kids leave anything on the floor, snappy with me, basically I say he is making his stressed "face" again that has been absent before. Its not as bad as it was before, but enough that I can see my sweet husband dissapearing again. But...he can function sexually again. His desire is better, probably because he can actually feel things again. (That prozac is about as a bad as anything when it comes to sexual issues). He is back to where he was before, which was still low desire, but better than nothing. So I really want him to get back on something. I don't think he was ready to get off medicine yet. I have had depression and anxiety for most of my life, and I know that I cannot get off mine, or I get my panic attacks and depression all over again. I don't think he should do Prozac, but really can't handle him like this again. He is worried about the sexual issues as well if he tries something else. Should I force the issue?

Question, is ma alone without p completely and utterly wrong at any time when married?

Ma alone sometimes is not just a man problem, I think at times it needs to be considered a couple issue. Why is the husband finding it difficult to control his urges? Is it an addiction, or is he really having sex withheld from a wife who is emotionally distant, and having trouble forgiving? (not saying this is the case here) Sometimes I think we point fingers at the men too much at times, when we can at times help them not feel as tempted. Lets give them that much. I know that as a woman, I have urges, and when my husband hasn't been in the mood very often (another issue for us), I struggle. Just throwing another idea out there.