YaYaYaYana

-I'm just saying .. since tithing is only 10% wouldn't it be like you're paying 20% if you pay part of the money that was already paid 10% for? -I work @ a restaurant and I pay tithing on my pay check as well as all the tips.. since I'm guessing non of the customers are tithing payers - Also My Mom is LDS but my father is a Muslim so If I get any money from Dad I pay tithing on it... but if get money from my Mom I don't pay tithing on it.. since she already pays her 10% and set some money aside for me afterwards...

I would say don't go for the younger men... those are the ones who would most definitely be scared and put off from dating you since you have a child already maybe try looking for older men like age 26.27,28... Those are probably old enough to want a family and are able to support you finianciaLLY

I think that paying tithing would be mostly on the money that you earned yourself.. (full time job/ part time job ect) I suppose that your parents already paid the 10 percent tithing and after gave you some extra cash for your expenses.. If that would be the case than I would say that you probably wouldn't need to pay tithing.. Same goes for B-day Money Gifts.. the other person probably already paid 10 percent for tithing... set aside the remainder of his or her money for other expenses including giving some as a present so i would say that money is taken care of already

~ The plan that you guys came up with in the first place is a great one! I am assuming that both of you are in your 20's? That is the time to get your schooling done and live your dreams what ever they may be travels for some and as you said your dream job of working at a hair salon!!! There is no selfishness about it at all! You should sit your husband down and tell him that you two already went through the plans and he should follow through as has already been agreed... If he has the opportunity to go to school full time, tell him it is a great blessing and he should take it! It would be a lot easier to focus on just his schooling for now as he has also another blessing you you being able to support him! In this bad economy not many people have this kind of luxury! Things should be taken one step at a time... It seems that what needs to be done first here is the schooling and the dream Job. Your husband needs to finish his degree so that in the future he could have a stable job that can let you stay at home with your children on one income. He needs to be able to provide well for the family. It would be easier to have just the responsibility of schooling now and just working one stable job later than to work part time, and raise a child at the same time and school at the same time.. Assuming that you would be at home with the child or even is you did work child care could be expensive along with close and other necessities the child would need for his or her development. It might take twice of even three times as long to get the education... Also you need the Job for your personal development and to feel accomplishment in your life! So that you don't end up being on of those envious people in late 30- 40's because you couldn't live your dream in youth..... Kids can always wait if you guys are still young and it would be a good Idea especially for them so that they could have the very best financial stability that could be provided for them .... What you have now, the ability to go to school work up to support you husband through also working your dream job now is a blessing! hold on to it and use those opportunities!! You owe it to your future children to be stable family environment and a financial blessing to them Sorry if my response seems pushy or it may seems to take a selfish approach to some of the commentators here; but I do speak from a personal stand point of being a child at one point born to young parents that tried to do schooling raising me and working part time... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My parents were 24 when i was born and their family be encouraged to get married young and have kids and that schooling should not be a priority before family.... So after I was born my parents came to the states and my father tried to work part time and get his degree as well, while my mother was staying home with me. Before I was born my parents had the same situation where my mother worked to support my father in getting his bachelors degree, half way he was invited to study in the states... but working one part time job, paying the rent and raising a kid obviously couldn't cut it so he eventually had to drop his studies as it was too much of responsibility. He couldn't go back for a while due to working a minimum wage job full time to support my mother and me... worse was that most of his credits weren't valid after 5 years when he did want to go back to school. And being a child in this situation is even worse since you can't really do much about it but live through it and wish every single day that you can be older.. which is not how a child is meant to live. So from My own experience i encourage people do get their education and work first before Starting a family. A Family is a huge responsibility that cannot be taken back once made. Back in high school I made friends with a girls about 2 years younger than me but her mother and father had gone through schooling to become a lawyer and a journalist i think.. she was born when her parents were 34 while mine were 24 when i was born ... Some might think that they were to wait so long.... but seeing the way her life turned out.. She has an interest in Asia her parents paid for her language classes and she got to do an exchange in the summer. She is 21 and her parents had enough money set aside for her to go through university with out having to work for it (she did work but the money purely went towards hobbies and building up work experience). as well her parents had enough for her to do a year abroad in her favorite country during university. She has just graduated this year and I envy her for being so accomplished and well rounded... She got to experience the type of life and childhood that I only dreamed of.... As for me I'm 23... did 2 years of college and have to work full time now to make more money to go back.... So you tell me is it a good thing to stop your education and start a family before a having stable career and being financially q well equipped ??

I'm the Rare one -or so that test says INFJ~ The protector!

- I'm sorry this ended up so long -well here's my 2 cents -If I have one thing to say is this ( The time to have fixed this was 11 years ago!! When your wife said she wanted to call the whole thing off/ you should have not been a coward but stood up told her that you were thinking about not having the wedding... Let her keep the ring as a way to pay off at least some of the expenses... explain to her parents that you were sorry for the trouble and are letting her keep there ring, and that's all you can do and can't cover the rest.. I'm assuming her parents are working people so they would have been able to pay there rest anyways)- 2. The choices you make limit the choices you can make in your future- This goes for everything from choosing you major in school that determines your job to The person you marry, which determines you marriage life! - I would say you could have quickly gotten a divorce after a year or two while you haven't had any kids yet! But now that 11 years have gone by and you've got 4 ~ Well I'd say you'd better suck it up and do what's best for those kids... " Kids are not toys or inanimate objects," They are human beings.. with hopes desires needs and wants" since you helped bring them into this world you must make sure that you take care of them until they're all grown. God has placed them into your life and it is your responsibility now to take care of them with your wife. - also think your your wife..! She is going to be probably soon a 30 year old woman with 4 kids. If you leave her. Life is going to be tough for her, probably NOBODY will want her now that her youth is going away and also that she is now a mother.. Not many man out there would want to support 4 kids or live with four kids that are not his own... Men her age are probably looking for woman 4-10 years younger. To leave her now would be a terrible thing! ( it is on you part selfish to have waste her most youthful years of beauty and than to leave her) -Another thing is that maybe if you have made the choice 11 years ago not to marry her, your life could have been better, maybe those feeling you---have about not marrying her was that you could have met a person that you could have been happier with, and if haven't been such a coward you might have had a different life and a different wife! ( But unfortunately 11 years later is not the best time to break up a marriage and family! Even though this is not your dream marriage an`ideal solution would be to try and make this thing work) I mean if you have made it 11 years and four kids it can't be completely horrible, if it was you wouldn't have been able to make it this far. ( Now a good thing would be to look at those Indian couples with arranged marriages that make things to work out because of obligations to society an d their family) You should make it work as an obligation towards God! "IT'S TOTALLY SELFISH TO SAY WELL, KIDS WILL GROW UP ANYWAYS." "WHAT'S THE POINT OF STICKING IT OUT FOR THE KIDS" It's true that they will grow up and go their own ways and find their own companions... but it is your responsibility as a man and a parent to provide and care for them and give them a loving comfortable living situation Right NOW while they are in their childhood! - I don't think that at this point getting a divorce and starting over would be the best! Look at this way.. sure you could meet a fun woman that you feel is more suited to meet you needs / wants and personalty someone that you might be able to have a bit more fun with for a couple of years... but what if she decided that she also wants to have a few children with you? Will you be willing to provide your own 4 children the best that they deserve and the new children as well? I'm thinking that this might be a worse and far more financially and emotionally draining more than --than taking the responsibility for the family that which have already started. Do you think you can just get remarried or get a divorce and be free? Nope it just doesn't work like that when you are so far into a marriage already.....what about your first 4 children, they will feel lonely and abandoned if your leave your family and have other ones with another wife... They will probably ask why are they're step-brothers and sisters living with u but they can't , are they good enough???~ it's just such a horrible thing to do!! to a child let alone 4! and your wife, she will have a huge burden to carry a being partly a single mother! ( at this point to leave your marriage is absolutely selfish and unacceptable!) You shouldn't go to your bishop asking weather or not you should stay or leave, but how to make your marriage a happier one and what to do / what scriptures to read to strengthen your marriage ... and pray to God so that he can turn your marriage into a great one and help you enjoy and fully live out the decision that you've already made. *** Last thing I wanna add is that I'm guessing that you Guys were in your twenty's early twenty's as most Mormon couples are when they get married. I'm also assuming that you're 27-30 now. I've been Mormon myself since the age of 10 and 3 years ago at age (20) I started vising a friends Asian Christian Church after my Church services were done...And what I've come to realize is that it's horrible at how early we Mormon folk get married at.. A lot of my friends at Byu are 21-23 year old girls and already married!! I think this is just Horrible... In most Asian countries Japan/ China ect as I learned from my friend... women get married from age 25 -30 and men from age 30-35!! Most of the Women in my friends the Church at age 28-30 usually have one or two young toddlers. No one is divorced and are very family oriented. I feel that age has a huge factor..... ----The reason that you might be feeling so unfulfilled is due to having so many parenting responsibilities and duties that you should only be starting to have right now! At age 27-30 you should be parenting one child or two not 4 ... because children are also a decision you can't undo, marriage is best left for more mature adults... This gives you...enough time to enjoy and live a little before settling down..... So the reason you might feel that you don't wanna be married might be also that subconsciously you feel that you did not accomplish enough in your own life before becoming a parent.. or Husband.. and while you can't undo that.. you may want to take a trip with friends or a small holiday to help refresh your self... - Best of Luck to you hope everything works out fine for your family and I pray that God will give you the courage to man up and take on your responsibilities and carry them out to the end as being a good father to your 4 kids and a good husband to your wife!! - Don't you dare try to get a divorce for any of your selfish reasons... It's only an option if your living with horrible abuse or your spouse is cheating on you and can't stop..( it should be used as a last resource as a solution to end something horrible)

Thank you everyone for your comments... I read each and every one of them .. even though I didn't reply to eat one individually I have given them some thought..... I really don't mean to be mocking the atonement.... My mom has found a closer ward to our house and has thought about switching... Is it ok to switch first and just do the confession with the New Bishop? I might still be scared of consequences but confessing to a stranger might feel a lot better... Since I;m gonna be turning 23 in about 3 1/2 weeks i might as well get it over with >.< 2) Switch and do the confession with new bishop? 3) Do the confession with my current Bishop? Which choice seems better?

No, Im a 22 year old Girl~ wait.... does this mean girls don't get punished as strictly as men are?

It is though... easier said than done... Part of the problem is that I am still thinking about how sorry I am for that sin in the first place..... One of the things I like to live by is ... Never regret anything.. Because it too was once something that you wanted....... Don't you have to regret something a lot to confess it?

Hi there.... I'm currently 22 years old for like another month... when I was 20 and 21 I messed up and sinned... Being the spineless coward that I am I don't really want to get punished by the bishop..... so I've been hiding out.. I haven't gone to church since 2008 December so it's been 3 years... I'm just thinking about waiting till I'm 40..that way When I come back to the bishop to confess.. he'll just tell me " That's ok it was a long time ago...Just come back.." ~ No discipline.. nothing.. I'll be free.... It's driving me crazy though ....

Good news is ... I don't think im Going to kill my self for a while... Bad news... I'm still miserable

.............................................................. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELP... tHINGS SAID DID GET ME THINKING