bambi66

Well, after months of going over everything, I still haven't confessed. I just can't do it right now and I'm even more worried now about his anger and abuse than before after a couple of instances of him losing control over little stupid things. There is a huge part of me that wants to end the marriage, and pursue a relationship with this other man who I consider to be my soulmate. Our connection is so deep and a lot more than simply a physical attraction. But we both have families and that's what is making everything so much harder. We both regret letting things go as far as they did, and we both know we must repent. I guess I still have a lot of my same questions from my original post. I need some comforting words and advice. Anybody?

Well, I honestly expect him to physically abuse me. I probably deserve it!! I'm still very confused as to what I will do. I know what I should do. Just hard, with his job stress, a son getting ready to go on a mission, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. I know, all excuses. That and I still have very strong feelings for the man I had the affair with. Thanks for all the advice and help, to all of you, I truly do appreciate it, and it helps me, cause I don't have anywhere else to turn to, that is until I turn completely to the Lord and my Bishop.

I want to thank all who have shared their thoughts, ideas, and personal experiences. The last couple days I have prayed a lot, and I have felt the love from Heavenly Father and my Savior. I'm still not sure when to confess to my bishop and husband. There are some other factors that I can not ignore and I am still very worried about how he will react. My youngest son is also a factor in this decision because if he finds out who I had the affair with, it will be very very hard on him. I know I need to confess, I know I have to tell my husband. I understand he will ultimately have to be the one to decide whether or not to divorce me or try to work things out. I'm praying for the strength to know when to confess. I"m still having very mixed emotions about that decision. Thank you again to all of you. You have given me some hope and strenght. Please keep posting any more thoughts or ideas that can be of help to me. I will continue to need all the help and support I can get, and right now this forum is all I have!

@ slamjet Thank you so much for your thoughts. I have found a lot of encouragement in your words.

I'll just get straight to it, spare a lot of details. After about 6 months of having an emotional affair, things went too far and now I'm full of guilt and remorse. Never thought I'd be in this situation, never meant for this to happen. I've been married for 20+ years, was married in the temple. All my family, grown up kids, and family on both sides are very active in the church. While things haven't been perfect with my husband, I still love him and don't want to hurt him. He has been verbally abusive to me at times, and I've almost left him a couple times. Things have been ok lately though. But, I'm scared to tell him. Afraid of what he'll do. I'm so confused and distraught at what to do next. My questions are: Have I lost all chance of having an eternal family? Have I lost them forever? If not, how can I get them back? Some days I want to tell him now, but I just can't. Is it worse for me to wait and tell him later? Six months? A year? Two years? I'm so scared of his temper and all the stress he has with his job etc. I just can't do it right now. How will it affect the repentance process if I wait? I have so many other questions, I'm lost. Please help!!