I'll just get straight to it, spare a lot of details. After about 6 months of having an emotional affair, things went too far and now I'm full of guilt and remorse. Never thought I'd be in this situation, never meant for this to happen.
I've been married for 20+ years, was married in the temple. All my family, grown up kids, and family on both sides are very active in the church. While things haven't been perfect with my husband, I still love him and don't want to hurt him. He has been verbally abusive to me at times, and I've almost left him a couple times. Things have been ok lately though. But, I'm scared to tell him. Afraid of what he'll do. I'm so confused and distraught at what to do next.
My questions are:
Have I lost all chance of having an eternal family? Have I lost them forever? If not, how can I get them back?
Some days I want to tell him now, but I just can't. Is it worse for me to wait and tell him later? Six months? A year? Two years? I'm so scared of his temper and all the stress he has with his job etc. I just can't do it right now. How will it affect the repentance process if I wait?
I have so many other questions, I'm lost. Please help!!