Hala401

I now wear powerful hearing aids. Without them I do quite a lot is mishearing!

Yes, you are right and I am so thankful that I am not a member of the priesthood. :)

Could I have that empty seat beside you?

Yes, in comparison to the rest of the world, intolerance is quite mild. I can think of some Iraqi women who were either beaten or killed because they wore a bit of makeup. In Afghanistan, women are sometimes killed for even leaving the home. Those who read, will find that loathesome violence is the rule of the day in some other places. We are so fortunate that all we have to bear here in America are quite hurtful words for the most part. I can remember a certain evangelist saying "All Muslims are going to HELL". Recently a young woman was, on national radio, called a whore when all she wanted was some help with birth control. Before someone jumps on me about that last issue, I fully support the church, The Word of Wisdome, and abstenance. Still, if someone's choice is to be sexually active and she does not want the offspring, then by all means let her have birth control. I was frequently told that I was an unwanted baby when I was young, and to this day I wish I had not been born. So, Heavenly Father had his will in my case, so please let my days be pleasing to him

I must say that this encounter with the LDS has been an affair of the heart for me in a very special way. I just can not express it strongly enough. Finally, after a life time of searching for Heavenly Father, it seems as if I am finally on the right track. I hope that my words do not sound like silly infatuation. I am also a writer. I started writing as a way to journal and work out my angst over several life issues, and I have written quite a lot; more than I suspected I would. I'm not a university english major, so I know that there are perhaps some sentence structure problems in what I write. Adding to that was my years of being with ESL folk. Along the way, starting with my LDS experience, I wrote a Science Fiction story that was intended to be a comedy but as it developed became more serious and and contemplative. The first edition of it, about 7000 words, did not mention the LDS at all, but LDS folk would easily be able to understand who I'd written about. I have just rewritten it, and now the references are less oblique. And I discover that my protagonists have become more certain of their faith. This was supposed to be the end of it but now I find my muse pressing me for another installment. It sometimes feels like my older sister is nagging me. LOL So, now I come to the heart of the matter. I do not plan to drop the reference to the LDS in the next installment, and need to decide how I will handle the end times, since the story goes past the end times and into a very speculative future that I want to be quite optimistic. How can I write this story in such a manner that I will not be offensive to the church that I have fallen in love with? Oh, I know that I sometimes complain about some things that I am trying to work out, but would never want to be seen as being offensive to Heavenly Father or his Church. Heavenly Father has used The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to absolutely rescued me, and in some ways has become the "Husband" that I no longer have. I'm having to learn to think for myself but must say that for nearly for 58 years, never made major decisions on my own. I really need your input.

I was not so long ago giving a new church member a ride to church, and she mentioned to me that she knew a single woman in Nevada that worked at a "girls ranch", had four children, and was a member. Having had people be unjustly judgmental with me, I was wont to judge this woman. I just know that for single women with a bunch of children, life can be hard. I still don't know what to think and I am thankful that the priesthood exists, and I do not deal with those problems. I've been put in a number of really bad places in life and found a few people who were more than willing to judge but not to help. I wish humans were not so quarrelsome, and suspect that one day this thing in our nature will be recognised and hope that those people will be medicated, or genetically cured, or something.

From an anthropological point of view, it is known that rats in a cage begin to feud when the population density goes above a certain point. Are we seeing that in humans? Resources are declining and there are not the opportunities for the young that I had. I think that certain radio commentators have fanned the fires of disagreement and if they are not moderated, we will lose our first amendment to the Constitution. Much to my surprise, neither Canada nor the UK have such privileges, and offenders can be brought to heel over malicious speech. I am sorry to say that I support that, but fear any tampering with our Constitution. As a Muslim, when I lived near Kirtland, Ohio, there were certain right wing organisations who were brought in to speak and they would say that Muslims are devils and all sorts of things. The same thing has happened here in Portland, but they were pretty much just blown off. Portland is just not a very religious place. The Muslim population for the most part is pretty much indigenous with the rest of the population, and eventually reason won out. All this prejudice because about two dozen nut cases did the 9/11 attack. Certain parties deliberately tried to create hysteria over something that was not the belief of many Muslims at all. The same thing happened with Japanese imigrants at WWII, and with blacks after the Civil War. There just seems to be a certain element in humans that thrives on lurid stories and strife. As Mormons, we should know about that because of what happened to us in the formational years of our own faith.

One of the songs in Handel's Messiah has a line that has always sounded to me like, "It all pays the same", and while I knew that I was mis hearing it, I could not figure out what was being said. Finally, I figured out what song it was and looked the lyrics up online and as it played I followed along and found that the line was vastly different than I had thought.

LOL. One of the young women in my ward has bright red, rasberry red coolaid looking hair that just makes me laugh. Though I have not seen her at temple, I don't think anyone has said anything.

There are some things that I can tell you about historical writing that will just blow your mind. The times written about are in almost religious PRE history, and you can bet times have changed. You can't take your little sister and worry about what it would be like for her to be bought and sold in those times. It just will not work. Having been around a few different religions, I have to say that there is something very scary, unexplainable and special happening with Mormons. What happened to me at first defied any logic that I can apply. It frightened me at first, not because anything bad happened but because I had no way at all to measure or explain it. Please just hang in there. We all have times of doubt and hardship.

I don't carry any books anywhere because I'm really not supposed to pick up and carry much. Those books weigh a lot and it made my back hurt. I have a Samsung Galaxy 2s through T-mobile with the LDS aps on it and I think you can get every LDS book there is, even the Ensign. It is great for Relief Society and stuff, though some of the olds still carry all those books, so they snicker at me. In truth, the screen is too small for reading a lot, but you can do that at home.

I never felt loved. My self image was so bad that even when I did not do anything wrong, I still felt as if I should go to hell. As a child, I would sometimes do something to get punished just to get someone to acknowledge that I was there. Since My first contact with the Sisters, it has been a long path but now it feels like I am finally starting to get it with the rules and things.

I don't have Temple Priveleges and it is uncertain when I will. Most of the time I handle it well because I know that Heavenly Father is guiding his prophet. Sometimes I feel a bit off, and get emotional about it, saying to my self that if they are gonna treat me that way, it is half a membership, so I only have to pay half a Tithe. That along with other petulant, immature thoughts are draining. It is awfully hard to get through evening prayers with out yeilding to Heavenly Father and feeling quite contrite.

Oh My Gosh, I must seem really silly and out of touch. Maybe it is best for me to be both?

I just read a very romantic and engaging series of books, and I must say for a person of my background, they were extremely healing with great psychology and understanding the effect of great abuse and bad parents has on young children, and the trauma that just goes on and on if not treated. So then I began to search Forums for similar work and at every turn they were recommending some very rough, and icky books. How could they see a similarity there? I do not know. So now, I see that I let my guard down, and while I am not sorry I read those books, I am now much aware of what making close approach to the sun, and it's dangers might be like.

OH MY GOSH! I just realised that the 10 commandments and D&C 89 is about protecting me and not limiting me!! I now see the relationship between too much permissiveness and falling into a deep pit! I am so thankful! Hala

I use Epson Salts in the bath quite a lot. Didn't know you could get high off of it. Wow, how can they control that?

I have all of them on my Android, Samsung Galaxy 2s. I too found the books to heavy for an old woman. They are almost as good as the print.

This is where faith comes in. Heavenly Father knows of our troubles. Remember the pre-existence? Our bodies were given us to work something out. Hopefully we work that out in a manner pleasing to Heavenly Father. I am 65 and have lived through enough pain that life does not seem as valuable as it once was. I am sorry that the younger of you may feel cheated out of your lives. It is faith then that sustains us. It seems odd that I who have been LDS such a short time would be attempting to reminding others to not live fear. Your ancestor's struggles, as horrific and unfair as they were are common in the world from the beginning of human struggles, through the time of human pre-history to the present day. I know that what you say is alarming, and perhaps even horrible things will befall us. Heavenly Father knows the faithful.

I am sorry that you have to face that. In Portland, Oregon where I live it is legal within the city limits, but no roosters. I was very surprised to find out the other day that 5 other homes close to us have chickens. With the cost of eggs, and their questionable origin, they are nice to have.

No, 4 of us live in a house with a nice lot. Portland is the only city that I know of that lets you have chickens, but no rooster.

We have 4 chickens in about 10 X 15, I think. I hope that is enough. We tried to let them out but they go tresspassing all over the place.

You just can't let it go, can you. As if you'd be a judge of LDS values.

I apologised, to a person of breeding, this should be enough.

Leah, if you would please go examine what I said. I said that I knew Muslim women got beaten but I did not know if the rate for that was higher than the statistical average for American women. This is an important distinction to make about what I said. But, no, I do not hold Jews in high esteem, but I bear them no ill will.