Swiper

When we got married I was not a member and she was inactive. She was quite far from the Molly Mormon she later became. She was definitely not living the gospel when I met her (she had a history of multiple sex partners, wild parties, alcohol abuse, etc). She had started the path of coming back to the church when we met. I was probably more temple worthy than she was when we got married despite being a nonbeliever. She became stronger in her faith while I struggled to keep up with her. To make her happy I accepted certain concepts before I was ready for them. It became a slippery slope from there.

I believe in the 11th Article of Faith and would support her staying LDS if she so wished. Allowing people to find their own spiritual path is important to me. That belief is why I feel that I must leave the church. As long as I am a member of the church my wife will feel that's her responsibility to keep her husband strong in the faith and to make sure that he meets his priesthood obligations. If she could just let me go inactive and allow me follow my spiritual path I would probably be willing to leave my name on the membership rolls.

If the Lord told me that the church is the one true church, I would be willing to hear it even if the doctrine contradicts my personal beliefs and values. If something is true then its true. I would love it if the church was everything it claims to be, and I would love it if it was his own restored Church. Unfortunately, after being an active member in the church for more than a decade, I do not have such testimony. I do not believe that the church is everything it claims to be. Because I do not have a testimony, I would have to look at other things to motivate me to stay in the church. If the fruit of the church was good I could overlook the blemishes on the doctrinal tree. Many of its fruits are good and tasty, but other fruits are bitter or rotten. Its the bitter and rotten fruits on the tree that drives me away.

I do believe that the members of the church are good people that try their best to live a righteous life and to follow in the footstep of Christ. I do, however, believe that certain beliefs and policies of the church contradicts the idea of fair and equal treatment of people. The principle of the family is very important to the church and I think that's good. It is important to me too. Unfortunately, the same blessings are denied gay members of the church because they happen to be gay. If they want to remain in good standing in the church they will have to live their life in celibacy and never be able to marry the one they love and become a family. God said that its not good for man to be alone and that God would create a helpmate for him. I do believe that gays should have that helpmate too, not just straight members. Until that happens there is no true fair and equal treatment in the church. If you are trying to play the guilt game, it's not working. I like the concept of the eternal family and that's why I converted in the first place. It was important to my wife and I thought it was a worthy cause. I do, however, believe that ordinances in the temple is not needed to accomplish it. I believe in universal reconciliation not the three kingdoms. I could elaborate on my thoughts but this is not the time and place for it.

I have shut the door to gaining a testimony. The church would have to make radical changes to its doctrine and policies for me to even want to gain a testimony. The fair and equal threatment of all people are important to me. The final straw was the church active resistance to equal civil rights for homosexuals when it comes to marriage. I have given up a lot of things to make my wife happy but there are certain things I just cant tolerate. I desire to find my new spiritual home in a Unitarian Universalist congregation.

I'm a convert into the church since the late 1990s. I'm married to a "Molly Mormon" for the last 15 years. We are sealed in the temple and we have a preteen daughter (baptised and born in the Covenant). I have followed the Commandments, the Covenant, Word of Wisdom, etc, and I been a good father and husband through the years. The problem is that I never truly gained a real testimony about the truthfulness of the Gospel and the church. I joined the church to make my wife happy with the hopes that I one day would gain a testimony. Unfortunately,I never gained a this testimony and for the last decade I have pretty much only done enough in the church to get by and to please my wife. I how now reached a point in my life when I can no longer pretend to be a true believer. I'm a very spiritual person, but I have not been able to follow my true spiritual path for many years and I am tired of not being able to do so. I do not have (and will never have) a testimony about the truthfulness of the gospel; I disagree with many of the church doctrines; and I can not sustain the church leadership anymore. I want to resign my membership and join a different religious group. The problem is that I do love my "Molly Mormon" wife and don't want to hurt her feeling. How can I best let her know about my disbelief without completely destroy her? Any advice is appreciated.