alucarD1975

all women right? whatever happened to going over and talking to some one and calling them out? but i guess only guys do this. I have had similar situations at work and I get up from my desk walk down the hall and talk to the person face to face. It usealy squashs the issue.

I dont get it... you marry who you date....call it courting if you want same rules apply

What would you consider shallow?

The bishop will always counsel to "confess" always Look at the church view of masterbation, while I have never been a bishop I'm willing to bet he pulls the wife in

I havent dated for a decade, things have changed with the advent of FB and texting and other social media outlets. This is how I did it 1. For me dating did not move quickly into marriage, I think that you need to date for at least a year before a proposal. you nee to see the life cycle of the individual you date, what do they do for the holidays? how is their relationship with their family? are they responsible? Many members jump into it without taking the family dynamic into consideration 2 I always took the lead on dates if I liked a girl I asked, If I asked a girl out that meant I paid and planned the date. this is for a first date and ladies if a guy won't pay for a decent first date that shold be a red flag. I in general took the lead on all formal dates, because i paid, now casual hanging out we did whatever, but again i almost always paid. Women should not ask guys out it looks desperate and says something about the guy also. 3. Who shakes hands? what kind of repressed behavior is that? I'm sure that is just of urban legend. I always went in for the kiss if i liked the girl. Yes I am a first date kisser some girls i went out with claimed not to be (they were all liars LOL)

I say don't tell her......not yet a least. you say that you have been able to abstaiin in the past for long periods of time....abstain...commit to it. The response you will get here is to talk to your bishop, if you talk to your bishop you may as well tell your wife. ask your self this question: if I tell my wife what good will come of it? you will hurt her, your kids, this will change your relationship forever an not in a positive way. there are other resources for counseling if you think that you are suffering from an addiction to porn that are not church related.

No kids.....I say leave We are only hearing 1 side. But I will trust that you are giving 100% and he just does not want to participate. However it sounds like you had your own issues coming into the marriage. That is never a good way to start a relationship. Get divorced and fix yourself before you get involved in another relationship

Sure here is some insite with out gettin personal I served a mission, got back married about 1.5 years later. I ignored all the red flags figuring it would be cool because we loved each other. Long story short we were divorced a year later. I took some time off to resolve my own issues ( clearly I chose poorly in choosing my wife) why did I do that? What Was missing in my mental makeup? If I expect better Ina future marriage I need to work through my own issues before I can have any expectations of anyone else. After a year I started dating I dated ALOT. There are plenty of fish in the sea and if you hita red flag it was see you later....( a foolish man learns from his own mistakes) and I had learns from mine. Lots of lovely girls who would and I am sure have made great wives for others not just me. I was single for almost 5years Met my wife and while she is not perfect we shared the same ideals, had a lot In common and got married I checked off all the boxes on my list. And while we have had our issues ( marriag is not easy) we havent argued about her weight in fact it's never even come up in conversation she eats healthy and like to look good for herself and for me. We have never fought about money, never fought about sex, how many children we are going to have, how to dicipline those kids, Who would be the bread winner and who would stay at game to raise the kids, she has no past issues psychological or physical, so no stress on that front. Have we always seen eye to eye no of course not who does. But the big issues are out of the way..... I see many people post about issues that should have been taken care of before they ever got married. Now I realize that most in our culture fall into the same trap I did and marry early and ignore what their family and friends tell them( assuming their family and friends point out potential issues). Most people have not been as lucky as me and had a chance to hit the reset button on life. While most on this forum will deny it. After careful thought and reflection if you are really honest with yourself I am sure that if most had a "do over" they might be a little more selective Ultimately the issues that people have with their spouses are not really with their spouses....you chose the person you were going to marry and chose to ignore all the red flags and then complain about the person but YOU chose them what does this say about YOU?

This makes my point there is someone for everyone.

So if you put 8 women in a room together I would have to automatically exclude 2..... Sorry.... That does not mean that they are not marriage material. They are just not Marriage material for me. Hey some guys like a project.

Are you talking to your parents? Seems like their behavior about the whole thing was a little over the top

Are we married? Yes of course she can have medical issues it's part of life, but I wouldn't marry into medical issues. Here is a crude analogy when you go to buy a car do you look for the beater in the corner with a history of mechanical issues? Or do you buy new?

like I said once you are married you play the hand you were delt. my arguement is that youhad plenty of time to vet/screen/look for red flags before you were married. there are always what if's like what if my husband lied to me about his medical history? or didnt disclose whatever but as a whole if you are selective and you pray and it is confirmed that this is the person you should marry. barring infidelity, abuse, severe addiction ( i would asume you weeded out persons with a family history of abuse or addiction) you should stick it out.

I agree I served as AP while on my mission and was privy to the goings on in the mission. kids go because they feel pressue or thats its an expectation, not because they really want to go. The service that they perform reflects this. I have more respect for the guy who chose to not go because he didn't feel inspired to do so and still continues on as a firm member of the church, than the kid who felt forced to go and didnt serve as he should have

do you really think anyone would be that self centered and shallow? to leave their wife at the first sign of struggle or hardship?

oh I bet I would have.......

thats smart, make sure to include a credit report

silly question, silly anwser.....

Of course not look you hedge your bets before hand by being selective, but then you play the hand you are delt.

Yes absolutely a total deal breaker how dare she get sick or have any medical issues. She know my heart is black and made of stone and would never dream of troubling me with any such issues.

My red flags don't have to be your red flags.... Many people beat the odds, I like to hedge my bets

Clearly you dO not know anyone who suffers from chronic migranes..... Not a normal headache. It is terrible and debilitating, Most people with this issue. An only function through heavy medication. the medication that they need to take can have serious side effects that can effect pregency, the ability to have kids etc etc. So yeah migranes..... Deal breaker..

Or course they can be prescribed for: Panic attacks Anxiety OCD Bulimia, and anorexia Migraines The list goes on and on.... By the way these are all deal breakers

Lol you contradict yourself in your own post.... It's ok to run for the hills if a red flag about money issues comes up (I suspect it was more to his reaction of being questioned) but a medical issue (anti depressants) should be acceptable? You marry who you date and in the course of dating when it comes up that a woman is on anti depressants that's a deal breaker. I wouldn't freak out or make a face.....it's funny that you assume that I'm some sub human devoid of all tact and compassion because I chose to be selective in my mate

I sleep like a baby....... Would you marry a guy who was on anti depressants?