Amillia

LOLThe bible is LDS scripture unless it is true that Shakespear really wrote it for King James. Then we have to wonder what is really true in the Bible. Of course King James refused to have many of the original books from the bible to be in his bible. Polygamy was practiced by many in the bible. But as usual those who practiced it decided to add many more women to their harom than was ordained of God. MEN!

I realize that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. That we have different kinds of needs that need taken care of. But when one is constantly giving in to the needs of the other, the relationship becomes one-sided. Both need to realize and meet each other's needs, but how do you stimulate the uninterested party? Totally withdraw and see what happens. If he withdraws more, rather than persues or complains, then you know there is somewhere else he is getting what he needs. If, OTOH, he complains or persues you, you know he is interested and that is the time to talk about what is going on with you both. Tell him how you want the marriage to go, how you feel about things he is doing and ask him what he wants from the marriage and what he thinks can make it better. Start with some kind of real verbal communications, rather than you going to the computer and he only setting places for himself and his daughter. Also ask him what the word 'family' means to him. Does it mean father and daughter? Or does it mean mom, dad, and child? In that order!

Yes, I have understood eternity to mean a specific amount of time. When it talks about from eternity to eternity, it kind of gives you a hint. Or, when it talks about the eternitie(s) - plural. Still, 5-6 billion years is a long time to be with someone that isn't the best for you. You are the one who makes it the best or not. So it doesn't matter who you are with they will be the best because you have made up your mind to make it so.

Very great stuff and awesome questions H.!First, to be sealed for all time and eternity is this: Time is only for this earth so you are sealed for the time you are on this earth. All eternity is this: Christ's name is Eternal and his sealing is Eternal or His Sealing. It isn't talking about an amount of time after this life. Eternity is only about 5-6 billions years. Then one starts a new eternity and life is one eternal round. (This can get a little hard on the brain cells lol) There is no best, just progress and experience. Even Christ learned obedience by the things which He suffered. It is the stuff that perfections is made of. Knowing the purpose of this life allows you to start rolling with the experiences without being rolled over by them. As for all the women you could hook up with, who do you think put those particular women in your arena? and you in theirs? You are so right, we really don't know what is going to happen on the otherside for the most part. But we do know somethings. Enough to know that having a companion who works well with you hear with all the opposition will definitely be an asset on the other side. Learning from and with her all that you can about giving love and receiving love will bring you to a higher level of existence. That is what it is all about. As far as the kids physical appearance, it is only for this life. When we speak of having the image of Christ in our countenances, we are speaking of a changed appearance. I have to tell you something also about physical appearances here. When I went through the temple, my facial features changed. I thought it parculiar to only me, but later in my life, I met a woman who had the same experience. She showed me her wedding pictures of before they entered the temple and her coming out. It was unreal how much she changed in her facial features. So I don't believe our physical appearance really is all that important. About who belongs to who after this life, we know that we were all brothers and sisters to start with and we will be again in the end. We know the work on this level is the Lord's not ours and we have pleanty enough to take care of as it is, so it is a good thing that it is God's problem. I wish I had more time. Maybe later I will re address this post. Thank you for such insightful questions!

Yeah, right Absolutely. The problem with you Cal, is that you are a manipulator and your wife doesn't want to be manipulated. Maybe your wife is a manipulator also. Too bad. Because if you both were just straight forward and loving and giving, it wouldn't be so bad for you. Dr. Phil once said something worth while. He said: One thing I do is make sure that when my wife walks into a room full of women, that she knows without a doubt she is the best treated women in the room. (Or something like that) What women and men have to do, is make sure they are doing the best to make their spouses the best treated in the room. Forget the games, the manipulation, the control. Because all these do is destroy the potential happiness and fulfillment you can receive in a relationship. I read a book once that said if you identify the game someone is playing while they are playing it, the can't play it any more because the whole purpose and success of the game is it's not being known. Once it is exposed, it just can't be played anymore. Try identifying the games you and your wife are playing and get REAL!!! One more thing, manipulation is a poor excuse for a relationship. It stems from your own insecurities. Have you tried getting counselling?

Actually I'm not surprised that all you women are in such denial. I guess it is not a picture you want to face up to. Bottomline: Keep a man happy sexually, and keep yourself up physically and you will have a lot less problems with him. I have to say that that is a bunch of horse doo-doo. I keep my man sexually happy, and his only thoughts are on himself and his daughter. I am treated like a slave in this house. Even down to the stupid stuff. If he does laundry, he will bring up his stuff and our daughter's stuff and put them away, and leave mine in the basement. (I don't care about the putting away part.) If he sets the table, or pours a drink for dinner, he will set two places or pour two drinks (as if I didn't exist.) We often have to fight for even being noticed because men are incapable of thinking beyond themselves. Oh Jenda, that is awful! Why do you put up with that crap? What a mixed message he is sending to your daughter! I think that it would be worth the fight to get him to stop. Your daughter might grow up thinking that the way he treats you is an acceptable way to be treated as a wife. I totally agree with Strawberry! Don't allow that crap! We teach people how to treat us by what we allow them to do.

Beautiful!!!

Yeah, right Absolutely. The problem with you Cal, is that you are a manipulator and your wife doesn't want to be manipulated. Maybe your wife is a manipulator also.Too bad. Because if you both were just straight forward and loving and giving, it wouldn't be so bad for you. Dr. Phil once said something worth while. He said: One thing I do is make sure that when my wife walks into a room full of women, that she knows without a doubt she is the best treated women in the room. (Or something like that) What women and men have to do, is make sure they are doing the best to make their spouses the best treated in the room. Forget the games, the manipulation, the control. Because all these do is destroy the potential happiness and fulfillment you can receive in a relationship. I read a book once that said if you identify the game someone is playing while they are playing it, the can't play it any more because the whole purpose and success of the game is it's not being known. Once it is exposed, it just can't be played anymore. Try identifying the games you and your wife are playing and get REAL!!!

Very good points - I would also add that there has been no effort to demonstrate that human society can benefit in the long run by endorsing and encouraging "gay" marriages. The scientists that have used chaos theory to predict devastating effects on the environment if a minor parameter is altered, is accepted without question. Yet the altering of the accepted social sexual habits within the society of a dominant species is not a matter of concern? Society benefits from marriage, in that society is granted another generation. This continual cycle is necessary for society to survive. It requires that society support marriage based on children. It is the engine of natural selection and survival of the human species. Even non-religious evolutionist must realize that protection of reproductive behaviors is essential to continued human society. The Traveler How does allowing gay marriage change traditional marriage. Gays will marry gays, they are not going to encroach on anyone's traditional marriage. It is the legality of it that worries me. Moving boundaries that have proven to keep a society in order will ultimately be it's destruction. Just try allowing your kids to start changing the set rules of the house a little at a time and you will see what it leads to. Because if one standard can be changed, so can they all.

I can tell you two things that might help. First this child you lost was Heavenly Father's child first. He was willing to send it down to you for a time, even if it was an extremely short time. Second, it is now with it's Father in heaven again. Safe from the horrible things of this earth. I believe that some spirits are so special that if they came down and stayed as you and I have, they would have had a much rougher time of it than you or I. Satan knows us better than we know ourselves because he hasn't had his memory erased. That is why he still knows who were the most valiant in the battle for agency and he does come after those who were doing the most damage to his battle there. Take comfort in knowing that you will have that little spirit to raise in the next life, you just will have to wait a little longer, but it will be worth it because it won't be here on a wicked earth. And I don't care what they say about how far along you were in order to take claim to that child, because I had a miscarriage early on and when I was bitterly mourning over the loss, this young woman appeared before me with her arms outstretch to me and said, "Mother". Then disappeared. I know she will be mine even though I was told at the time I couldn't put her on my family group sheets because I hadn't carried her long enough. I think they have changed that now.

Our grandmothers were very great women and our grandfathers treated them as they should be treated. If more men treated their wives with love and respect they would be astounded as to the care they would receive in return. Non-sense. The better men treat women, the less the men get of what they want. As soon as women feel secure, they stop taking care of themselves and pretty much ignore the guy. So, you say that you currently have a great marriage. I guess that would mean that you treat your wife bad? Did I say I treat my wife badly? I may have over stated the issue a bit. Let me explain. If you ,as a guy, fall all over the woman, and make her think you can't live without her, you creat a situaltion where she will start to devalue you. It is just human nature. You have to keep her a little bit off balance; let her please you. The one who cares less is the one who is going to get the most attention. Actually, I treat my wife just fine--she is not the type that wants anyone fauwning all over her--which is fine with me, because, I need a certain amount of time to myself also--we are compatible that way. We have moments where we let eachother know how we feel, but we don't over do it. By the way, don't let anything I have said be construed as my condoning ANY mistreatment. Just don't overdo the good stuff. It makes the other person take you for granted. Does that help? I have seen men take advantage of women and women take advantage of men. But not in a good marriage, no matter how much they over did the good stuff. In fact the more of the good stuff my husband does for me, the more I do for him. We try to keep equally engaged in giving each other the good stuff as much as possible.

It doesn't make you an expert on how the two should interact in a marriage anyway. Particularly when your opinion is in direct contradiction with many of the relationship experts of this world. Well all these experts have done little to help the divorce rate slow down. And everyone knows that experts are proven wrong daily. When I was a kid, permissive parenting was all the experts recommendation. It didn't take but one wild generation to put an end to that expert opinion.

I'm not waiting/expecting him to make decisions for me, merely to do what he said he would do. He gave us the tools to come to a decision by ourselves, then to ask him if it is right. Just as the brother of Jared ask the Lord to light the rocks - he came to that himself. If it is right, then the Lord will cause that our bossom shall burn within us, and if it be wrong, then he would cause us to be confused, unclear, or bad about it. I am only doing what he has said to do, but am not getting an answer, so I am left to proceed with the decision that I came to, and brought before him. The fact you aren't being given confusion or are being given confusion means it is right or wrong. If there is no answer to something you are asking about, then it means that is okay but not necessarily the only options.

I don't think that the answers I'm looking for can come from you guys, nor from the scriptures. Such questions as the best time/person to marry for oneself, which would be the best school/career to attend to, if I'm on the right direction for temperal matters (not necessarily spiritual, because those could be answered by many), etc. The interesting thing about praying for whom you are to marry, is that there is more than one. And if you miss out on one, there is always another or someone who will fill your life as well as the other. My mother's family had an interesting experience with this. My two aunts were dating brothers. The older one of them married before the younger because she didn't want her sister to be in the same family. She was quite selfish and wanted to be the only one. The strange thing was, that the younger aunts daughter ended up marrying the son of the man her mother almost married. So her grand children came through that line even if her own didn't. In the eternities, family lines are very important. As for careers, your talents, interests, personality all are gifts of the Lord to help you know what field you are to enter, and then there is trial and error which is good for anyone who needs experience in life, in arriving to the best place for you and your family. There will be many choices to make as you grow older, as careers are never stagnant nor without detours. No one is ever given a map with exact placement and choices already made. Sometimes we are given different equally good ways to choose from. Acknowleging the premis that everyone has their agency, there are variables that God will not control, but will help you live through and work through. In the end, it is the experience you gained which will be of the most value. And it won't be so much what you had opportunities to do or experience, but how you handled them through kindness, wisdom, and understanding. Joseph Smith was given the responsibility to establish the church on the earth and be the leader of the people, yet when he was imprisoned, these were the very things he couldn't do. He was frustrated and didn't understand why the Lord would allow him to be taken from among the people, when he had such a lot of work yet to do. The Lord told JS that it would give him experience. In the end, another was chosen to lead the people and the church continued. Your life will be like that. There will be things that don't seem consistent with what you feel you are being expected to do, yet when you turn around at 40 you will see there was a definite pattern of progression towards your fulfillment of your mission on earth. (Of course this is all premised upon your faithfulness no matter what the obsticles.

Yes, yes, yes. The facts are that women are complex and variable. Men are simple and consistent. I've read a whole bunch of books on relationships and it is crystal clear from the authors which of the sexes is simple in their needs and which is complex and inherently variable in their needs. Males do have an ego that needs stroked by their partner, that much is true. But I think you'll find it is a simple thing to do and does not carry the same complexity and difficulty that males have in trying to deal with women. Find me a good quote from an author or academic that backs up your position that males have very complex needs and women have very simple needs. Just debating our opinions with nothing to back you (or me) up is going to be pointless. I guess raising a bunch of both doesn't count.

=yaanufs,Feb 8 2005, 03:32 PM]

I was a bit unclear last night about what was going on, and for that, I apologize. I was not questioning why the Lord lets things happen, or why he doesn't hear the crys of those who suffer, because I DO understand about free agency - that's the whole reason we are here. Nothing catastrophic, or traumatic has happened to me, leading to feel that the Lord has abandoned me. If I was being tortured, I would want the Lord to answer my prayer so that I knew he was aware and/or with me. When the Savior prayed in the Garden, the Father did not take away his pain, but he still answered him. I am frustrated with not getting answers - not matter what they are. I'm not looking for a certain answer, or expecting to get what I want. I am sincerely asking the Lord for answers to important aspects of my life, and don't get anything. I have felt left alone to make decisions on my own. Yes, I know that the Lord cannot/will not make decisions for us, that we must do what we can first. But, we have been counseled to inquired of the Lord - to seek his guidance in the decisions we make. I want to know why I should, if he doesn't answer? I am not in pain over something that requires counseling - we all go through pain everday - I just cannot rely on prayer anymore (at least I feel such), and it bothers me. Somethings just aren't to be answered in the way you want them. Have you tried reading the scriptures for answers, searching principles to lead you through? When something has already been given you as counsel, through scriptures, talks by leaders...and you haven't taken it, will you get more? What exactly are you seeking counsel about and maybe we can lead you to the scripture or principle that will answer your need? Maybe your answer from the Lord is US?

None of us "deserve" what comes our way--the good or the bad. Whatever happens to us is the result of living in an imperfect world. Prayer is a way of adjusting our own attitude to meet the challenges and blessings that will inevitably come our way in spite of anything we may or may not do. Prayer doesn't change God's mind. It changes ours. I agree to some degree, but not totally. We do have to change our hearts and minds to meet God's inorder to understand what is blessings. All things work for the good of those who love God. Even bad things give us experience which we can use to help others and ourselves. Some who have had horrible challenges seem to find a calling in life through it and make a success of out of it. It is the when given lemons, make lemonade out of it, kind of thing. When we draw near to God, he draws near to us. Rebellion and anger do not draw us nearer to God. So changing our hearts and minds to be nearer to God gets us the answers. Joseph Smith's revelation found in 121 of the Doctrine and Copvenants is one of those kinds of payoffs for suffering. It is magnificant in so many ways.

Here is another one. Judged Not Worthy ================== A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two survivors were able to make it to the shore of a small deserted island. With no idea what else to do they agreed they had no recourse but to pray to God. However, they were divided as to whose prayer would be more effectual. They agreed finally to divide the island between them and stay each to his own side of the island. The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the island, and thus he ate. The other man's parcel of the island remained barren, and thus he remained hungry. After a couple of days the first man became lonely so he prayed for a wife. The next day another ship wrecked and the lone survivor, a woman swam to his side of the island. The other man remained without a companion. Next, the first man prayed for a house, clothes and more food. The next day all of these miraculously appeared. However the other man still had nothing. Finally the first man prayed for rescue for he and his wife. In the morning there was a ship docked on his side of the island. He and his wife boarded the ship and left the other man behind. As the ship was pulling away from the island a voice from heaven boomed out, "Why are you leaving that other man on the island?" The man replied, "Well, Lord, I figured the blessings I prayed for were mine, and since apparently none of his prayers were answered he mustn't be worthy." The Lord rebuked him saying, "Oh my son you are so mistaken, for you see he only had one prayer, which I answered fully. If not for that you would not have received the richness of blessings that you have, you owe him everything." "Tell me", the man asked, "what did he pray for that I should give him anything?" The Lord replied, "He prayed that all of your prayers would be answered." ~Author Unknown~

This story doesn't quite cover it, but it has some good thoughts. Hurt ==== This story changed my life and I thought maybe it could change others too, so I'm sharing it with you. This story was told to me by my sister, whom it happened to. She was really upset, she hadn't seen or spoken to her best friend Jim in a couple of weeks, and he shows up at her door and commands her to get dressed and go riding with him. So she finally does. As they were riding, they passed a garden full of flowers. Jim says "Do you see those flowers?" "Yes," she says. "Do you think that when someone steps on those flowers that they lie there and feel sorry for themselves?" Jim says. "No." "No, they immediately start to mend their wounds so they can heal, and grow strong and healthy!" They ride a little further and Jim points up in a tree, "You see those squirrels up there? Do you think that when people shoot at them they go hide forever?" "No," she says. About that time the ocean comes into sight. Jim says "You see that ocean out there? Do you think that when there's a hurricane out there that the ocean doesn't go back out because it's afraid to face the storm?" "No," she says. "Then, why have you stopped living because you have been hurt?" That story really hit me like a ton of bricks! The worst part was the fact that Jim died a short time later. And that's when she realized how much precious time she wasted. Why have you stopped living because you have been hurt?

While we are off the subject of topic just a little, Faerie, I was reading with my son this last week out of the books called "Spiderwick Chronicles" and Faerie was the name of the land of faeries.Have you read those books? They are a lot of fun. :) Is that where you got your moniker? P.S. that is one cute baby! I just want to pick him up and hug him!

Good points PD.

Our grandmothers were very great women and our grandfathers treated them as they should be treated. If more men treated their wives with love and respect they would be astounded as to the care they would receive in return. Non-sense. The better men treat women, the less the men get of what they want. As soon as women feel secure, they stop taking care of themselves and pretty much ignore the guy. That is a load of C R A P! The more secure my husband makes me feel, the more I have energy to make him happy and the more I want to please him and let him know how much I appreciate his hard work for our family. I am exercising up a storm these days for just that reason. The only times I have gotten out of shape is when I have been made to feel like it wasn't worth it to keep myself up, which has everything to do with how my husband treats me.

Dreams can come in opposites. Because of the benevelant kind of person you are, you probably haven't hurt anyone. Maybe it is yourself you are not reconciling with. When we dream of people whom we know, they are representing different parts of ourself.