mightynancy
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Posts posted by mightynancy
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If it were a white guy in a black congregation who said the same thing, I can guess exactly how that'd be received. But there's a popular conception in the US that racism is only a one-way street, so of course she gets a pass.
That said: she is a Church member; and as such, you (as a fellow member) are under covenant to bear her burdens as best you can. So, I think you've got it right: ignore it, pray for her, and reach out as best you can.
So, when Dossice says that the sister shouldn't feel the way she does, that's a pass? And we ought to ignore a sister's feelings because we don't understand them? Wow.
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First of all, don't tell her how she "should" feel.
If I were interested in befriending her, I'd ask her straight up if there is a way for her to feel less racially apart in the white ward, or to make that apartness less prominent among her other feelings of faith and sisterhood.
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Been thinking about this since yesterday.
I do agree that attitude can really change a situation. I also prickle at the idea that if something is hard for you, or you don't like it, then YOU are just not doing it right. We LDS are really quick to presume that if a practice isn't working for an individual, then it's the individual's fault.
I don't know where I'm going with this, but it's an issue that bears addressing.
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In your shoes, I'd ask the RS pres or whoever coordinates partnerships/assignments to give me a VT makeover. If this is something you're struggling with, I would hope that they could assign you a partner who pulls her weight, and VT's who are a help to you and not a frustration. I really don't think it's too much to ask.
This, from a sister who is not currently a VT. I asked for a break and got one (I work full time and then some, I help coach my daughter's sports team, and am YW president).
Yes, we grow through service, we are reaching out in charity, I get it. That said, if a certain mix of people causes a bad dynamic, changing it is not a bad thing.
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If he's not really trying, or doesn't take the temple seriously, that's reason to stay home.
However, if I were a smoker, but actively trying to quit, failing and trying again, I would consider myself worthy to attend the temple. How is that different from any of us failing to meet any other commandment? If I were trying to quit pride, or materialism, or lazy praying, or gossip, failing and trying again, I would still go to the temple.
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But, since you don't believe in all that stuff, then you don't have to care.
So non-LDS-believers are heartless jerks, Anatess? It sounds like the guy is trying to mend a relationship with his parents, being true to his own beliefs while being sensitive to the beliefs of his parents.
Loudmouth gave you some good advice, Infinte. :)
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worlds without any glory at all
I thought all kingdoms were kingdoms of glory, and the only place without glory is reserved for those who deny the Spirit. Who would even be born to a world with no glory? I don't get it.
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I'd rather my daughter marry a righteous convert than an unrighteous RM
This. 17+ years ago I married a nonmember who later converted, and he's awesome. I know people who married RM's who turned out to be toads. RM does not equal Great Husband.
I'm sorry I didn't answer your specific questions; I don't think blanket rules work for things as important as missionary service and marriage. If I had to, I'd answer your first question with "It depends on the priesthood holder" and the second with "It depends on the returned missionary."
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I spend about $200 a year on my hair; maybe a little less on my daughter's hair (she gets less-frequent cuts).
I sure hope my hair isn't my glory! I'd rather be known for being ethical, or creative, or being able to captivate the attention of twenty-six 7-year-olds for over 20 minutes.
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It's great that you appreciate it from your leadership standpoint, and that it's something that works in your branch, but do the members there really have ADD so bad that they're distracted by a blue shirt?
You'd be surprised.
We had a priest bless the sacrament in a plaid shirt a few months ago, and I'm certain there were members who wondered if it was a valid ordinance.
A sister near me even mentioned his shirt to me during the sacrament.While I think it's silly to fuss over the color of a shirt, I have my son wear white. I feel that the higher obligation is to administer the sacrament without upsetting anyone, even if I think the issue is nothing to be upset over. I hope that makes sense.
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Huh! Usually it's all about the money.
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So, if a cold snap disproves climate change, does this prove it?
Reuters AlertNet - Moscow heatwave breaks 29-year record
Weather is not the same as climate. And warmer ocean surface temps can drive extremes in weather.
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If you are not an exception to God's rule, then I hope you'll consider wearing your hair more like the GAs.
Really? Not a one of them has a haircut that would look cute on me. Their coiffure would even be called an "extreme hairstyle" on me. Sigh.
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That being understood I think there is a lot of judgment that goes on in the church about working mothers. A lot of people condem working mothers for what they are doing, not always knowing what circumstances that mother is going through. I think we need to be more understanding of those women who find themselves needing or maybe even wanting to go into the workfield.
This.
I was apalled when I took heat for going to work full time - I did it because working nights was making my husband ill and it prevented a good relationship with the kids. My shy three-year-old actually said, "I'm a little afraid of Daddy because I don't know him." My working enabled him to take a lower-paid day position and improved my family's quality of life, and I'm not talking about material goods.
We preach an ideal. It's ideal for all of us to keep all of the commandments perfectly. In some circumstances, we are able to meet the ideal we preach. In all the others, we have to do the best we can.
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Personally, I find the tee shirts to be a little "casual" but I wouldn't look down on someone wearing one (in fact, I'd be impressed with their open declaration of faith). If I were younger, I'd totally wear that necklace.
I'm active LDS and my daughter regularly wears a dainty cross necklace because she wants people to know she loves Jesus.
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I think I like all of these watery colors because they soothe my firey personality.
You can practically hear the sizzle when I walk in.
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Snow has skills, and as we say around here "Ya gotta admire the skills." Usually, this is in reference to my daughter, who has chain-jerking skills galore.
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Anatess, that's cute. I normally hate hate hate "accent" walls, as they are nearly impossible to do well.
If you want teal, go for it! I'm all about color. My living room is aquamarine, my kitchen amethyst (with kind of a latin vibe, stopping short of the Mexican restaurant look). Son and daughter's rooms are blue and pink, respectively. Family room is apple green. The master bedroom walls remain white, as my husband and I are at an impasse. He wants yellow, which is all wrong (it clashes with the adjoining spaces, and yellow + southern exposure = walking into a sunbeam). I think I want a Carribean blue, something just a touch less green than swimming pool.
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In personal calls it's usually "bye", but with my southern belle friend, it's "kisses!"
At work, it depends. If it's a quick call (to a coworker) to get a simple bit of info, I'll end with "Thanks," or if it's my boss, "Wow! Pretty smart, for a jock!" *click*
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I would tell the bishop and the RS president what you know and what you have observed, express that you're concerned, and leave it in their court.
We used to have a woman in our ward who would constantly badmouth her husband's ex (the mother of her stepson) right in front of the boy. EVERY time I'd interrupt her with, "Well! She can't be all bad, just look at this fantastic boy she brought into the world!" It may help the kids in your situation to hear that...and at the very least it'd probably get this jerk to avoid you.
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I'm straight. I wonder if it's biological or a choice?
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What's the appropriate consequence, then?
Does the boy have an XBox because his dad worked for the money to buy it?
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At some point, you have to hold the OTHER person responsible for the lust in their mind. You don't control their thoughts, and nothing you do (or wear) will ever give you that ability.
Absolutely! In Young Women, we have a lesson every year on modesty. I tell the girls straight up that they are not responsible for the Young Men's thoughts. Then we go on to talk about self respect, respect for the gifts they have, respect for the covenants they have made and will make, etc. Are the men around us so weak that we have to shepherd their thoughts? They're not.
A sister near me even mentioned his shirt to me during the sacrament.
Racially disconnected in Church?
in General Discussion
Posted
No, I don't think they would. I do think they'd laugh that a white guy finally gets what they go through! And your second paragraph is precisely where I found the advice to ignore what the sister said. Ignore it, but pray for her.
Dismissing someone's feelings because you think they're unjustified is a certain way to alienate a person.
My high school was also majority hispanic (I'm anglo), but I didn't feel discrimination against me - I was comfortable with pretty much everyone. *shrug* We each have our own experience.