Tough Grits

At least you are honest about it. No judgement here. I just hate it when people say that social media is bad, or that the internet is bad. We are the one who have the choice to use or misuse the internet or social media. As such, we are the ones who need to learn some social media etiquette. Not that I am volunteering, or anything. After all, my name is Tough Grits...not Sweet Grits. LOL What would I know about social etiquette? HA HA:huh:

I came up with this word and definition based on some negative status updates and/or posts that I have seen posted over the years on various social media sites. I sat down and thought about what that kind of negativity should be called. So, I came up with the following word and definition. Well, it turns out that a thought-bomb already exists as a word...but with a different meaning. No big deal, lots of words have multiple meanings!! Below is my definition of a "thought-bomb". Thought-bomb: a very specific, negative message to a named or unnamed person or persons in order to inflict damage on social media sites. A thought-bomb is like a suicide bomb: it hurts the bomber, the intended target, and the innocent victims near the bomb--in the case of social media sites, the innocent victims would be all those who read the thought-bomb. Thought-bombers cheapen their own character by throwing a weapon publicly to hurt another, and they embarrass their targets and themselves by bringing the situation into public light.

Aww, come on...it's educational! My daughter--who has great reading comprehension and a high reading level, but terrible spelling--actually does good at guessing the puzzles. It is quite funny actually, because we all know she is the weak link in the family at spelling. She loves it, because it boosts her confidence. I love it, because I love watching her excitement when she correctly guesses a puzzle.

Should have eaten dinner hours ago (10 pm here) but have not. Bowl of Raisin Bran is calling my name. Tomorrow? No work/no school...maybe grits, eggs, toast, and sausage for dinner. Mmmm, I love being a GRITS (Girl Raised In The South).

I guess I am out of the loop (been absent for a few years), is there a Sister Vort?

Um, maybe Vort is the one who should be worried!

Smudge, What was your favorite book/series from Lund? That may be an unfair question since his books and series are vastly different in theme and time period, but I am just curious.

By the way... In my house the kids know that they have a "no technology" rule Monday-Thursday. Meaning: no TV, no computer (unless needed for homework), and no gaming (hand-held or console). We had an issue years back with them rushing through homework to watch TV...so I eliminated the temptation. Their only job right now is to do well in school. They are so good about not even complaining or whining about the Monday-Thursday no technology rule. Their grades stay very high and they spend more time reading, playing outside, and talking with me and their dad. Exceptions to the TV rule: news, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, and anything on nature or science. I consider those things educational, therefore they can watch such shows AFTER homework, dinner, family scripture study, and baths...if there is any time left before bed.

In my home there are 3 computers...2 very old desktop dinosaurs...and my 4 year-old laptop. The two dinosaurs are the ones the kids (2) are allowed to use. They are on internet lock-down. Meaning: they can only go to internet sites that I approve. If they want to go to a new site, I have to enter my password that will either allow them access just the once, or permanently. The laptop is not on internet lock-down. But I do keep it locked. Meaning: my password has to be entered to get to the desktop of the laptop. I keep it locked when not in use. My laptop was my college computer, so I didn't want to be hampered by always having to enter my password to go to internet sites and sources. As far as any kind of agreeing, everybody in the house agrees that mommy is the password keeper of the computers and Dish Network. If I die, then nobody will be on the internet or watching TV. LOL

I haven't looked at any of the posts in this thread other than the OP, so I hope I am not duplicating what somebody else has said. One ward that I was in would rotate the couples each week. I thought it worked great! Many couples got an opportunity to teach and the age and years of marriage of the couples varied. It was great! My rule of thumb...as long as the teacher/speaker of any class or talk/testimony has the spirit, then they will have my attention.

During one of my ward's monthly Tuesday meetings the speaker mentioned the novel concept of "a little each day". LOL I will be the first to admit (it could be due to my ADHD and/or OCD issues) that I am an all-or-nothing kind of gal. Yard work, to me, means mowing my yard, edging my yard, weeding my yard, and trimming my plants ALL IN ONE DAY. Cleaning my house means the same...everything in one day...which is why Saturdays for my family is a weekly Spring Cleaning day. So, when this sister mentioned to do just one thing every day for just 10, 20, or 30 minutes...it was like I saw a brightness and heard angels singing. I started applying it to the inside and outside of my home...and it works! I can now pull weeds for just 20 minutes and not feel compelled to mow, weed, trim, and edge also. Some days are epic FAILS, but for the most part I am still doing a little each day so that Saturdays are not so crammed with cleaning and chores. ~TG

Would it be fair to say that this one statement is what lies at the heart of the matter? All the laws in the world will not stop violence. Remember Cain and Abel? Cain didn't have a gun, but he committed the first recorded murder in scripture. So, if this is true...then why is our government trying to get "tougher" on guns? Four years from now, what will our gun laws look like? I have a question, because I am sincerely curious, is this simply a democratic stance...or is this the beginning of worse things to come? I know nobody has a crystal ball, I am just wondering what others think.

I live in a VERY small rural town. Even so, I do NOT know every child's parents. I do not know which ones are divorced, which ones have restraining orders, or who the authorized people are to pick up anybody's child. I say this because one day I got caught in the front office and had to help answer the phone. A parent wanted her child called to front office waiting for her so when she got there she could just quickly put her in the car and go. I politely told her that this could not be done over the phone and the she would need to come in herself and sign her daughter out. Guess what? She got mad at me and became rude. I told her that I was sorry, but according to school policy she would have to come in. She hung up on me. Now, either she really was the girl's mother and just could not comprehend that I was just doing my job and that she should be THANKFUL, or she was not the girl's mom and I did my job by preventing the unthinkable (which I highly doubt). I have personally seen instances (MANY) in which the parents are the ones who cannot abide by the rules that we do have (basic as they may be) to ensure the safety of their children. It is my opinion that many parents (in my system for sure, maybe other systems too) think that the schools are like fast food restaurants "Their Way Right Away". They (meaning the parents in our system--not all, but enough to cause a problem) don't want the doors locked, they don't want to be inconvenienced when picking up or dropping off their child, but they want their child safe. I don't know what the answer is. Locking classroom doors hasn't really helped, because students still come and go from the classroom all day long (bathroom, library). I do not fear when I am at work. I stay vigilant. I trust that others are too. I would give my life to prevent somebody from hurting others in my school if it came down to it (in the heat of the moment I hope that I would do exactly as I say I would do), but basically I just go to work and pray that all will go according to God's will, and that He will give me the strength to handle whatever happens that day. I was born and in raised in Miami. I have been around some interesting situations, to say the least. My high school had to be evacuated when I was in 9th or 10th grade because of a gun shoot-out between two rival gangs...on or near our campus. I guess I learned that we have to do our best to be vigilant and safe, but we cannot be afraid of living our lives either. I am not afraid or ashamed to admit that I don't know what the answer is. It is my opinion that guns are not the problem, but evil or mentally ill people that take any weapon to harm an innocent person are the problem. Is that a fair statement?

I wonder what the stats actually are on this? Most of the women and/or moms in my ward work (full or part-time). I have done both, but I am currently working. Working in education I get to work the same hours that my kids are in school and I work at the same school as my youngest. That can be good or bad sometimes!

I haven't read The Work and the Glory series, but I have seen the movies. I would love to have and read the series one day. I love The Kingdom and the Crown series because I love "going back in time" and learning about the cultures and customs of the various people of that time. I have also enjoyed learning more about the Pharisee's and Sadducee's. It has helped me to better understand the political climate of that time.

Once-in-a-blue-moon I have the opportunity to wear a bra without my garment (when I accidentally have no more in my drawer and have to do an emergency load in the washing machine!). Personally, it feels awful! I wear the drysilk (sp?) tops, and after being spoiled with that soft feel against my skin for 13 years, wearing a scratchy, itchy bra against the skin is awful. dahlia, I too, have found this conversation fascinating.

:lol: "I want my cake!" "I want my cake now!" LOL I watched it with the kids and hubby. It was SO worth it!! See, why can't I think of stuff like that???? Thanks RipplecutBuddha!!!!

Has anybody read these books by Gerald N. Lund? I have truly enjoyed the spiritual journey of these books. I am now on book 3, Behold the Man. I am sure I didn't cite that correctly, but I am tired and I just took Nyquil. I don't want to have to think about how to cite a book correctly. I love these books because they are set in last three years of the ministry of Jesus. I have truly learned so much about the life of times of the Jews and the Romans from that period. For me, the New Testament has just come to life by reading these books. After reading the first book I dreamed of the Savior every night for a week or so. It was amazing. Any thoughts?

I thought the idea was so cool that I mentioned it to my husband and kids tonight. They all actually thought it was a good idea. They like the idea of a little each day, rather than a whole Saturday each week!

I appreciate your honesty!

I agree. Not attending church will only cause more heartache, but for so many other reasons. Yes, and I think this happens more often than we realize. Still, I don't want to dismiss anybody's fears or feelings. I just worry that pulling away from the ward family and from Sunday services would be harmful spiritually. But only rkhutchinson can make that call. I just want to reiterate that we are not left alone or without guidance from our Father in Heaven. He cares, He listens, and He answers. Prayer can bring peace and the Holy Ghost can provide guidance. ~TG

3. Making schools safer HOW? I work in a school system. If somebody wants to get in, they will get in. Unless we start having fenced-in schools with armed guards at the gated entrance, how do we prevent the people who already have guns and/or who already have a propensity for violence and/or mental illness from harming children and school staff? As a certified teacher, I am in favor of fencing with armed gate-guards. I don't want a gun on my hip (my hips already have enough weight!).

Yes. Agreed. If only their sickness didn't cause so much pain and destruction to the most precious among us. Are there any studies about the nature/nurture aspect of sexual offenders? Born sick? Abused and then became sick? Both? Because I know some who have been victims and then did NOT become abusers. Does gender play into it? Are female victims less likely to become abusers themselves? Yes, but I think the thread was intended to be about child predators. I am not sure if the mental illness for preying on children is the same or different than the mental illness for crimes against adults. I have heard that adult sexual crimes are not about sex, but rather about power (True? Not true?). I, personally, think sexual crimes against children are NOT about power. I think it is a true perversion, an abomination that is so heinous...it defies comprehension. Not to say the crimes against adults are not heinous, but to think of predators violating an infant or child truly borders on evil in it's most raw form. How could this ever be proven or disproven? Maybe some get so old that they can't continue abusing? Can we ever know if individuals who commit such abominations, and have done so repeatedly, are able to stop abusing or fantasizing of such abuse? Agreed. The Holy Ghost is an invaluable source of comfort and guidance. Truly, much peace and many answers can be received by simply being still and allowing the Holy Ghost to speak to us. Agreed. Not sure anybody said that on this thread. Maybe the sentiment is that by the person's death they feel better. That is between the survivor and God how they feel about their abuser. I was able to forgive my abuser and move on, but not all have the same experience. Also, what happened to me--though awful enough--may not be the same magnitude as what others had to endure from their abuser. I think all on this thread are aware that the Atonement applies to all who would accept it. Resurrection comes to all who had a body, but the Atonement applies to those who accept the sacrifice that was made on their behalf, that accept Christ, and who come unto him through the principles and ordinances of the gospel (faith, repentance, baptism, and gift of the Holy Ghost). Agreed. Animus is never good, no matter what the topic of discussion is. However, discussion can be positive and healing. It can allow hearts to be softened and minds to open, as long as there is mutual respect and civility within the discussion. Only because I truly care about this issue. I am not debating. I want to understand, I want to have compassion, and above all--I want to be what Christ wants me to be. Even if this means forgiving a sexual offender. But I also want to be vigilant and to do what I need to do to fulfill my obligation as a mother and steward over Heavenly Father's children. We have been talking about "our" children or "my" children...but I know that my kids are not really mine...they belong to Heavenly Father first. He is only letting me raise them here on earth. THIS is why vengeance belongs to the Lord. Christ paid the price for us. Though Heavenly Father is our spiritual father, Christ ransomed us and now we have, in a sense, become his. This does not mean we throw God's children to the wolves...it just means that whatever happens, it is happening to one of HIS children, and the pain He feels is surely greater than whatever we feel. Not only is somebody hurting one of His children, but it happens to be one of His other children who is causing the offense! Can we know that pain? Can we truly know what God feels or thinks about that? Our Savior suffered our sins and our pains. If we will come unto him, we will not have to bear the burden...for he bears it for us. If we will repent and be as he is, then we can be spotless and live with God again. All this is true, and surely we all know it on this thread. But sharing our experiences, sharing our thoughts, sharing our faith, and sharing our testimonies CAN help.

Yes, and that's what hits to the heart of the matter. Relapses for a pedophile lead to another child losing their innocence. Relapses are what scare those who have children or who have stewardship over children. Their concern becomes, "Will the relapse happen with MY child?" Relapses are what cause many to feel that pedophiles cannot be rehabilitated in the first place. This is why it comes back to teaching, praying, being vigilant, and then letting God handle the rest. I don't think anybody on this thread lacks compassion. The question instead, has become how to have compassion for the sinner when it comes in direct conflict with the charge to protect the children of whom they have stewardship.

Very true words. Christ's atonement is for all. This cannot be dismissed or overlooked. Which is why this is such a complicated issue, as has already been elaborated upon throughout this thread. The hang up is this, Christ's atonement is so that we may repent and not suffer what he has already suffered for us on our behalf--but has a pedophile repented? Have they had a total change of heart? Have they, themselves, accepted that very atonement that Christ suffered for them so that they may be spotless and blameless before God at the judgement bar? Questions we cannot answer. Questions we do not have the authority or the omniscience to answer. And yet we still wonder, because we want to honor our stewardship of our children and to protect all the children in our lives from having their innocence stolen. It is not a question of whether a pedophile CAN be forgiven by God, the questions that I think some are really asking is: has that pedophile asked for forgiveness? Does that pedophile really want to be forgiven? Does that pedophile really want to lay down their sins? Again, questions that we cannot answer. And yet we still wonder.