Tough Grits

I agree. This reminds me of a talk given about "acting" and "reacting" and the difference between the two. I think it might have been a talk by David A. Bednar.

I agree. Yep. That is why I need to be left alone. If I can remove myself from a heated situation, and find a quiet place to think, then I can sort through the anger and get to the real root of the problem. That is when I can find a solution or attempt a resolution, even if it is only within myself. *emphasis added*That's me. Because I am so passionate, I try not to speak or act in the moment. My passion overwhelms others---even when I am not actually mad! I am a very loud and commanding speaker. I am not selfish or over-bearing, I am just loud and there is no hesitation in my voice when I speak. I think this intimidates others. My Cuban side of the family is very loud. The Cubans I knew in Miami were loud. They are a boisterous people, even when not angry. They are emotional and demonstrative in that emotion, bordering on dramatic. So, if I am loud even when I am happy and normal, when I speak at times that I am not happy or normal, it sends people into fight or flight mode. I have to always walk a fine line. I don't want to suppress anything, because--as you stated--it will build. Eventually it will hurt me or hurt others when I finally "release" what I have suppressed. But then I don't want to always speak immediately in the moment either...because I am impulsive and my thoughts are not the sharpest when I am angry. I just know that about myself. I have learned to "take a moment" and then revisit the issue after I have had time to think, and to process what it is about the situation that triggered the anger. Not only do I feel better, but those that I deal with definitely appreciate me better when I can come and talk about the issues after I have had time to ponder it. As I said, I am a force-of-nature in my passionate nature and in my loud, strong voice. Me, on a good day, already overwhelms too many people!

The truth your words speak!! In 2004 I went through a major depression. Medication then became my life for the next four years. However, it didn't really do what I needed it to do. The "clouds" were never really gone, just reduced. Basically, the meds kept the darkest part of depression away from my mind. I started working full-time in 2006, which I know now saved my life, saved my mind, and saved my spirit. Then in 2008 the clinic that I went to closed. Instead of finding another psychiatrist, I just took my meds until they ran out (very dumb!!). Then I started college (2008). Family, church, work, college, and all the other things that I do in and around my home became part of the daily grind--without medicine. All went fine...no dark clouds, no depression. But in the Spring of 2012 I started having symptoms of a heart attack. I was a couple of months away from graduating, I was in the middle of my student teaching, and I was Stake YW President. I just didn't have time to go to a doctor. I lived with the recurring and painful symptoms of a heart attack for 3 or 4 months (again, very dumb!!) Finally went to the ER this past fall. Had extensive testing. Guess what? Anxiety. Horrible and painful physical symptoms all from anxiety. Is it any wonder, though, with all that I was doing? Anyway, the doctor prescribed anxiety medicine. I have been taking it for four or five months now. It is wonderful! No more heart attack symptoms, and I can handle my everyday stresses SO much better now. NEVER stop taking medicine without talking to your doctor. If your clinic closes or if you move, then make it a priority to find a new doctor IMMEDIATELY.

Yep, I get it too.

I am passionate, easily excitable, easily distracted, obsessive/compulsive, and have no patience. Unfortunately, these things lead to quick, vibrant anger. The anger blows quickly and I don't hold grudges, but while I am in the grips of anger, it wreaks havoc on my emotional, mental, and physical well-being. I don't think there is any purpose or benefit to this kind of anger, and find that most of my repenting comes from anything I said or did while angry. I have found that if I am left to myself when I am angry, I can sort through my thoughts and feelings, and reach a point of understanding (though not necessarily agreement) and then come back and interact without animosity or contention. ~TG

Yes, yes, yes. I like to TALK. I like to SHARE. I like to DISCUSS. Unfortunately, too many want to take it personal, or argue, or try to prove me wrong. My thoughts, feelings, and opinions cannot be proven wrong---they can only be proven to be different. Being different is okay. Goodness, I am glad that we are not all exact duplicates of each other. Life would be SO boring. Why can't I say that I believe that the Lock Ness monster is real, without somebody trying to "prove" me wrong. SHEESH.

That depends on the type of sandal. The kind that I wear have a woven back, sides, and top. I wish I knew if the kind I liked had a particular name. My toenails are always polished, so I have no worries about my toenails. I just don't like people to see my heels or the bottom of my feet. Now, as far as other people's feet, if they are polished, fine. But I don't like looking at bare toenails. I guess I just have an issue with feet and unpainted toenails.

I take that to mean that "ites" from Seattle wear socks with their sandals? Doesn't it rain in Seattle...like, alot? Why would anybody want wet socks and wet sandals...at the same time!?! But seriously, I'm not judging!! HA HA

That's like an oxymoron or something, wearing socks with sandals...

I was born and raised in Miami. Either I wore no shoes at all or I wore sandals when I was old enough to have a choice. When I get home the shoes come off and stay off, even outside. I put all the Christmas lights up this year in my yard with no shoes! I live in Georgia now, so it was cold. After awhile my feet got numb, so it didn't bother me not having shoes on. I think I'm a Hobbit. My feet look like Hobbit feet. I am only 5'2"...so maybe I'm a really tall Hobbit.

How do you determine who "wins"? I have known people who argue very vehemently and passionately, but are still wrong. I go back-and-forth with my step-father on politics, UFO's, and whether or not we actually landed on the moon all the time...but at the end of the day, neither of us has "won". Basically we just passionately bounce our opposite views off of each other until we get tired or until my mom gets mad. Can facts be debated? I mean, if it's a fact, then it's a fact and there is no point arguing...right? ~TG

My mother would fit in perfect then. She has a shoe rule in her home. When we have lots of family over, the pile of shoes by the door gets fairly large. The sad part: I have left her home several times WITHOUT my shoes!! Yep, walked right out the door, down the steps, and into my car WITH NO SHOES. I told you that I was not a refined lady!!! LOL ~TG

Good for you! It saddens me to see how many precious daughters of God think that being in an abusive relationship is better than being alone. Agreed! I would rather have a guest use a bad word than leave the foul stench of cigarette smoke in my home...not to mention the health hazard to me and my family. Even though my son is SO sensitive to bad words, that he won't even read the word in the scriptures that is used for a donkey. Seriously. It cracks the rest of us up. He covers his ears when somebody else reads that word. Okay, totally disagree. First--I HATE taking my shoes off in other people's homes. I am not a refined lady. I walk around--inside and outside--barefoot all the time. My feet are rough and ugly. Taking my shoes off in other people's homes is embarrassing for me. I also have NO desire to see anybody else's feet. Seriously. Crazy toes and yellow toe nails...Freak. Me. Out. I'll leave mine on, and you leave yours on, and nobody will get hurt.

No smokers. No drinkers. No drug users. No tattoos. No body piercings. The above conditions applied even when I was an atheist and just out of high school. After my first divorce (age 21) and after joining the Church (age 24), I decided to refine and narrow my parameters even more. All the above LDS Must be my best friend above and beyond anybody else. Strong employment/work ethics. Kind Honest Intelligent Funny Crafty (build things/fix things) Well, as it turns out...my second list worked much better. I have been married to my best friend since 2000.

Justice! Of course my thoughts were nice! Haven't you heard? I am actually Sweet Grits now. My mother gave me a Kindle Fire last year. This was before the HD's came out. I love it! Scriptures can be found SO quickly now, and every manual I could possibly need to reference all in one hand!! Amazing! And any highlighting or notes I make will save and update/link to my LDS.org account so that my highlights and notes can be accessed from any device that I use to log onto LDS.org. Way cool.

If you want to keep them awake, then yes, pounding and heavy breathing will do the trick!

I did! I don't know what happened! I keeping scrolling down to see if she has logged in yet tonight...nothing. We were talking last night on the way home from the stake center about the forum. I was telling her about who was still here, who wasn't, and who was new. She says she has been reading, but not posting. Anyway, she will come around. Especially now that her favorite daughter is back. LOL p.s. Pam, is it within site rules to post the link to my momon.org profile within my signature area? :)

Me neither, but it could be posted on a fb page or something...to give a subtle hint without actually singling out the offender. I liked it, but am leery of posting it on fb. My mother is offended by the word "crap", and she might think less of me for posting it. :lol: (my mother is truegrits; she has been absent from here for a year or so, but she is currently "lurking". HA HA)

Awesome, and sooooooooo true!!! Thanks!

Hello Justice!! I have actually been thinking of you lately! Hope all is well. Have not read the book, sounds interesting! ~TG

RipplecutBuddha, something occurred to me as I read your post. That is another thing converts bring...excitement! When I joined, I assumed that classes were the place to share our excitement, our enthusiasm, our love, our questions, our insights, and our experiences in--or of--the gospel. Ha ha, it wasn't until a few years into this wonderful gospel journey that I have been on since 1998, that I learned most members (usually the all-lifers) thought that classes were the place to sit quietly while the teacher or speaker spoon-fed them all the information!! Well, I'm just not the "sit quietly" kind of learner. If you want me to pay attention and to actually learn something, then I just HAVE to participate. I don't judge those who are shy, or who lack confidence to participate, but I sure do appreciate the classes that have participation. With my ADHD, I just can't concentrate very well with lecture-driven classes, or classes in which the teacher reads verbatim from a talk or lesson manual.

Somebody once asked me why we (LDS) didn't go shopping or out to eat on the Sabbath. Two things you need to know before I go any further: 1. This person was born LDS, but was not a practicing LDS. 2. The South is full of God-fearing, church-going people who know and love God and Jesus. Part of their Sunday routine is to go to church and then go out to eat with family or their church friends. This person then asked me (sincerely) how going out to eat with family and friends on the Sabbath day was a bad thing. Why would God be offended that families were spending time together on the Sabbath? It was a valid question. My convert heart raced! I had only been a member for a year (before that, NO religion of any kind at all), so I wondered what I could possibly say! Then I felt calm. The answer came to me very sweetly, very softly. I said something very close to this: It's not that the Lord frowns on us getting together and enjoying one another's company. However, while people are eating and enjoying themselves at restaurants, somebody is having to serve them. As long as people go to restaurants on Sunday (or stores, or other businesses), then people will have to work on Sunday when they could be at church or with their own families. I will never forget the look on his face. I could tell that he had truly never looked at it from that perspective before. In that moment I knew two things: 1. The Holy Ghost had guided me in saying exactly what this person needed to hear. 2. Even converts--even former atheists--could receive revelation and guidance from Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father loved both of us. He used me to answer His son, while teaching me--His daughter--a lesson at the same time. ~TG

[emphasis added by TG]THANK YOU! I was trying to find a way to word what I was thinking! ...questioning to justify our rebellion. I like that. That is what I was looking for! Thank you! I have SO much to post...much has been coming to me today. But I have to travel an hour to attend the Saturday evening session of stake conference. WOO HOO! The Saturday session is always best! I am sure I will come home with even more stuff to post!! :)

I like February. My birthday, along with so many other family members, is in February. I like celebrating. I think humans, in general, like festivity. Maybe we are all just pagans at heart. However, let's just be honest with the truth of our desires and our nature. Let's have fun just to have fun. Let's not make sacred cows out of things that are really just another way for us to get together, eat, communicate, and socialize. That's just my thinking. I have no problem with any holiday...as long as we just admit to the real reason why we are celebrating. Because when it comes to Christ, the greatest honor we could ever do him, is to come unto him every day. No celebration can ever come close to being as important as a person who has had a total change of heart and is living as Christ lived. ~TG

I hope he is not joining with misgivings! When I joined it was with a complete willingness, and complete acceptance of everything that came with this gospel. Were there some things that confused me...yes! I still just don't know how Noah got all those animals on that ark! I'm not kidding. That was (and is) confusing. I was not leery about Joseph Smith, because as a person who had been raised without religion, I had to accept ALL the prophets since Adam...so excepting a prophet in modern times was no big deal. If God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, then wouldn't there be prophets upon the earth today, when we need them the most? So, you see, for me the issue of a modern-day prophet made sense, compared to the way the Lord has "run His house" from the beginning. However, I am still puzzled by all those animals on that ark! I don't doubt, I just can't wrap my mind around it. No big deal, I can't wrap my mind around the universe being infinite with no beginning or end either...but I still believe the universe is real. Are his issues similar to my "animals on the ark" kind of thinking, or is he seriously having doubts and misgivings about doctrine? In my mind, there is a huge difference between the two. Maybe I am wrong, or maybe I am misunderstanding. Please forgive me either way, if so. Sincerely, TG.