55Spud

The doctrine isn’t clear at all if you study it. D&C 132 says one thing, a past Prophet said something else, President Nelson says something else. There are too many scenarios to address them all in one conference talk or several scriptures. I’m just going to throw my hands up and let whatever comes (or doesn’t) come and if exaltation isn’t in my future then so be it. I’m tired.

I think trust is the key. Sometimes we just have to turn it all over to a higher authority.

But Jedi-Nephite, I’ve had the opportunity twice! I feel like such a loser. All I want is to live in Father’s presence again.

I have been married three times. I’ve never cheated or been abusive. *My first wife was a non-member but was active in our Ward. She even had a calling. She always said that she might join the church. She bore us two children and then had an affair and wouldn’t stay away from the guy. I tried for three years to “fix” the marriage but ultimately she wanted a divorce. She ended up marrying the guy. *I met my second wife through mutual single friends in the church. We both had temple recommends. We married and spent ten years together. She started hanging out with a gay woman who was a member. She started coming home well after midnight an eventually asked for a divorce and moved in with this other woman. A few years later she remarried in the temple so our sealing was cancelled. *I met #3 on a church dating site. We were sealed in the temple and married for 18 years. Almost from the start she was saying she shouldn’t have left her grown daughter behind and then she kept saying she wasn’t happy. We moved to Louisiana because she wanted to. I ended up being called to serve on the High Council there. Then I consented to move anywhere she wanted if it would make her happy. At that point she told me she didn’t want anything to do with the church and she wanted a divorce. *I met a nice woman from Utah. After a while we wanted to be sealed in the temple. She had strong feelings about me still being sealed to my previous wife. The previous wife had told me she was going to request a cancellation anyway so I went ahead and initiated that. After the cancellation and a lot of my money spent she said things weren’t working out. This after she told me repeatedly, “***, I would never leave you”. So here’s my dilemma and I praying someone has some comforting and encouraging words; I want to be exalted more than anything, but I’m not sealed to anyone and although I’ve been a member all my life, I don’t have confidence in my understanding of where this leaves me. I’m 68 years old and love being married, but the opportunities are few, even on dating sites. ‘I’m begging to find some comfort and confidence. Please!