Why people leave the church

[choice]

But I can NOT see the benefits in belittling one another over a survey that doesn't actually exist.

I wld like to think that in some small way I/we cld help strengthen another's testimony.

QUOTE:

"My words are based on my experiences with ex-members. Maybe it's just the ones who can't seem to let go of it and hang out on LDS board or just some in my circle of friends who have left, but that's what I see. "

I think its a good thing not to want to let go of 'it', because 'it' is worth hanging on to.

I understand Ottopop's approach in distinguishing between being 'less active' as opposed to leaving the 'church' - But that may be a PhD topic.

In my experience those who are less active, very seldom offer justification, excuse or explanation.

That seems to happen on 're-entry'/re-activation. Maybe it cld be a re-entry survey?

I would like members of this forum to state a controversial topic from the churches past, and then state how you have dealt with it and or explain why it occurred and how it should not weaken our testimony. I think this would greatly help those who are struggling with the church.

I hope you all understand what I mean. Thank you

[jimuk]

"But I can NOT see the benefits in belittling one another over a survey that doesn't actually exist.

I wld like to think that in some small way I/we cld help strengthen another's testimony."

My sentiments exactly.

[john doe]

I'm going to drop out of the discussion now since my comments seem to have upset some of the more sensitive here who don't want to hear my perspective. If my comments have offended you, my apologies.

[bytor2112]

From an earlier post of mine:

People leave for many reasons, not just because of some perceived quirk with LDS history. Some of the reasons I have thought of include:

1. Never feeling worthy. I have heard this often that some never feel good enough because they are surrounded by so many seemingly "perfect" people.

2. Impossible standards. Some people feel that our standards are just to difficult to live by and they will never measure up and they always feel "guilt" over their past even though they have repented.

3. Ward members are cliquish. Not enough fellowshipping and welcoming of new members.

4. No testimony. They were living off someone else's testimony....like the missionaries.

5.Feeling like the Church consumes their life. Time, etc.

6. Temple. Some have gone to the Temple and been put off....maybe they weren't really ready. They don't understand garments and the other requirements.

7. The Church system of "Judges in Israel". Some members fear their Bishops and don't really get that he is there to help.

8. Not really understanding the doctrine. They find what seems to be an easier path, "saved by grace".

9. Historical issues definitely play a big part...especially with the internet.

10. They just don't like the church and want more "entertainment" for their Sunday worship service.

11. They just don't think it's true......God wouldn't have restored his church via such a historical mess.

Just my thoughts......

Edited August 5, 2008 by bytor2112

[MarginOfError]

I leave the church every week.

[bytor2112]

I leave several times every week........

[MarginOfError]

I leave several times every week........

And I thought I was indecisive.

Wouldn't it be great, however, if we were judge based on the number of times we left the church?

[bytor2112]

You mean ...we're not??????? Uh-oh

[HiJolly]

I'm going to drop out of the discussion now since my comments seem to have upset some of the more sensitive here who don't want to hear my perspective. If my comments have offended you, my apologies.

I take my personal experiences (like, people I actually have personally known) at 95% value. Some of them could be deceiving me, but that's not common. I take my internet interactions with people at about 30% value.

I agree with john doe. That fits with my PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. I think it's nice to give internet people we meet, and discuss things with, the benefit of the doubt-- but that will NOT take precedence over PERSONAL EXPERIENCE in the flesh.

I DO think john doe was stereotyped, lumped in with someone's perception of 'typical' church members. That is sad.

HiJolly

[OtterPop]

I DO think john doe was stereotyped, lumped in with someone's perception of 'typical' church members. That is sad.

I responded to things that John Doe actually said on this board, not to my perception of a "typical" Mormon (which I certainly do have). That's not stereotyping. That's discussion.

And, John, I am happy to hear your perspective, and I may challenge it -- as you have appropriate done with my perspective.

[candyprpl]

Oh my goodness. Some of you people need to stop repeating typical "TBM" answers over and over and over again. It does my head in. Please. try and be a little more open minded and not put everyone who leaves in your shoes. You just cannot see past your own testimonies, im sorry harsh words but its true.

I remember sitting in church thinking to myself, "I could never ever leave this church". Now look where I am ladies and gentlemen. Yes im on the virge of leaving. I am sure you think "what sin is he carrying" etc etc. Im not.

In a nutshell. I no longer believe Joseph Smith is or was a prophet of God becasue of my research. I dont believe God would warrant or allow his own prophet who he chose to restore his gospel to to some of the things he did. Now, becasue I dont beleive him to be a prophet I no longer believe the church to be true, it's that simple.

Let me first make it very clear to you that I'm not hear to judge you, please understand that. I do want to understand what you are saying. I want to understand because I am a weak person and I pray daily that my testimony will grow and strengthen.

When I was baptized on Dec. 12, 2004 and started reading the BoM for the first time I came across Alma 24:30; And thus we can plainly discern, that after a people have been once enlightened by the Spirit of God, and have had great knowledge of things pertaining to righteousness, and then have fallen away into sin and transgression, they become more hardened, and thus their state becomes worse than though they had never known these things.

I was grateful for the strength that verse gave me. It scared me to the bones. I knew the truthfulness of that verse and I did not want that to happen to me. I was hard hearted before I came to the gospel and I knew that I would have to be even more hard hearted to leave the church. The weakest part of my testimony is JS. However, I do feel the power of the words in the BoM and I have gained a witness of it's truth. So my testimony of JS rests on that. If I could understand what happened to you I might be able to keep it from happening to me. I really hope that doesn't anger you. I'm giving you an opportunity to help a new member become strong.

I would really like to know what shook your testimony.

What would JS have to have been like for you to accept him as a prophet?

What are your feelings about the BoM?

Where will you go if you leave the church?

Do you think you will not fall into transgression if you don't have the strength of your faith?

[choice]

I'm going to drop out of the discussion now since my comments seem to have upset some of the more sensitive here who don't want to hear my perspective. If my comments have offended you' date=' my apologies.[/quote']

But if you're thinking abt leaving ... perhaps we cld have a survey, to find out the real reasons.

Mine is only personal comment from personal experience as Hijolly commented. It is nothing on its own and needs yrs and anothers to sharpen and edify. I 'sense' that there is no apology necessary.

:)

[HiJolly]

I responded to things that John Doe actually said on this board, not to my perception of a "typical" Mormon (which I certainly do have). That's not stereotyping. That's discussion.

This isn't stereotyping? "John Doe's attitude is fairly typical in Mormonism -- "

HiJolly

[OtterPop]

Stereotyping would be interacting with John Doe while being focused on what I think is typical of Mormonism, rather than on what he has expressed here.

Just because I think he has said some things that I think are "fairly typical" (note the modifier fairly) of Mormonism, doesn't mean I am reacting to a stereotype rather than to him. If you disagree, kindly show me where I have assigned attitudes/opinions to him that he has not expressed, except as hypotheticals that I invited him to correct, if necessary.

[mike_uk]

Let me first make it very clear to you that I'm not hear to judge you, please understand that. I do want to understand what you are saying. I want to understand because I am a weak person and I pray daily that my testimony will grow and strengthen.

When I was baptized on Dec. 12, 2004 and started reading the BoM for the first time I came across Alma 24:30; And thus we can plainly discern, that after a people have been once enlightened by the Spirit of God, and have had great knowledge of things pertaining to righteousness, and then have fallen away into sin and transgression, they become more hardened, and thus their state becomes worse than though they had never known these things.

I was grateful for the strength that verse gave me. It scared me to the bones. I knew the truthfulness of that verse and I did not want that to happen to me. I was hard hearted before I came to the gospel and I knew that I would have to be even more hard hearted to leave the church. The weakest part of my testimony is JS. However, I do feel the power of the words in the BoM and I have gained a witness of it's truth. So my testimony of JS rests on that. If I could understand what happened to you I might be able to keep it from happening to me. I really hope that doesn't anger you. I'm giving you an opportunity to help a new member become strong.

I would really like to know what shook your testimony.

What would JS have to have been like for you to accept him as a prophet?

What are your feelings about the BoM?

Where will you go if you leave the church?

Do you think you will not fall into transgression if you don't have the strength of your faith?

Candy

Sorry, i missed these questions and will do my best to answer them openly and honestly but in a none offensive manner. Also I wont go into too much detail so not to be flamed becasue I cant be bothered arguing.

Not sure where to start or how to comment on your requests without offending anyone really.

Hmmm, I will try though.

Regarding JS, well dont know where to start on this. He has a past most of us dont know about and IMO abused his power and deceived even his own wife often. I do know if it wasnt for him I would not be in this position. Sorry to sound harsh on this.

The BoM imo and yes its my opinion so no need to jump down my throats if anyone feels like doing so but I believe that even though it contains some good principles its just cannot be true. I have mentioned why in the past and got flamed.

If I leave where will I go? No idea but probably nowhere. I am really struggling to believe that there can be a god now. Things just dont make sense any longer. Crying out to him for comfort and receiving nothing really has not helped. But I want to believe in a God and have a relationship with him and Christ and im hanging onto what belief I do have with a thread and its getting harder every day.

Fall into transgression? In the eyes of the church I have fallen into transgression already. I guess I can even be classed as an apsostate. I now drink tea, coffee and alcohol. The garments came off months ago. I openly admit to my beliefs when asked/challenged. I have contemplated expoloring other faiths but decided this would not be good for my children who are fully active. Its still an option though.

My concerns run deep, far too much to go into here. If you wish for more specific information I will do so privately. I just dont want to cause resaon for arguments and debate publicly to be honest.

Edited August 7, 2008 by mike_uk

[YellowLight]

I would really like to know what shook your testimony

I would have to say that the Book of Abraham was the turning point for me. Also, I feel that the character of Joseph Smith was unbecoming of a prophet. Many of the teachings and sermons are also ever changing when God is never changing.

What would JS have to have been like for you to accept him as a prophet?

I don't think I can. I say this because I feel like if I were to say...he should have been more honest or something, I don't think we would have started the church.

What are your feelings about the BoM?

I think the BoM is a good book that one can learn a great deal from. I would like to think that it has helped me build upon my character and who I am today. However, I also think that I can get teachings similar in the Koran, or from the many great philosophers of history. Doesn't mean they are true.

Where will you go if you leave the church?

I have not decided yet. My wife and I are still in the process of figuring things out. We have not taken our names off the records of the church and do not plan to do so only for fear of being ostracized from our families. It is sad, but true, and happens quite often. Also, I think God is more concerned with my character and how I treat my fellow man than what underwear I am wearing or if I know my secret name.

Do you think you will not fall into transgression if you don't have the strength of your faith?

According to the church, I am an apostate so I am not sure where that leaves me with this question. Am I Anti-mormon? No. But, I do exercise my freedom of speech with close friends as I travel on this journey.

I hope this gives you a "little" insight as to where I am at in life.