How do I approach this?

[hwilson1119]

My husband and I live in California. He was called last Sunday to be a ward missionary, a calling about which he is scared to death. He was just baptized last October, and was unable (due to the military) to attend church regularly until January. He wants to do his best at this calling, so he often turns to me for help on doctrinal issues and how to approach them with investigators. So here's the biggest issue at the moment.

Here in California, due to the Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage, the Church has joined a coalition of churches and other groups supporting Proposition 8- a ballot measure that would define marriage as a union of one man and one woman only in the State Constitution. President Monson has asked that we give of our time and money, if possible, to support this cause. A letter from him to the members of the Church in California has been read in sacrament meeting and auxiliary meetings regularly for the last couple of months.

So, to my question: How do you lovingly explain to someone visiting our meetings (member or non-member alike) the Church taking a stance on this legal issue? The questions we most often encounter are "Why don't homosexuals deserve to be happy? Why don't homosexuals deserve the same rights as heterosexuals? How does it affect you if they get married? If God made them that way, why would He want them to be punished for the way they are?"

I can think of many answers for these questions, but I am struggling with coming up with answers that don't make me sound judgemental and bigoted. The best I can suggest to my husband at this time is to bear testimony of the prophet and divine revelation, and allow the Spirit to do the work.

Any other advice that might help us in this situation would be greatly appreciated.

[Maya]

Yes this is a very difficult and touchy question. One thing I been lately thinking is that : Why do they have to be "married" in Church, there are sooo many living together without marriage and they are happy, why must they enter the sacrament of marriage trough Churches? Can those people asking these questions not see, that marriage between a man and a Woman is seacred to us. Changing the sacrament of marriage this way it becomes basmony (uh not sure how you spell that) to us!

Bible is VERY clair in its wording of homosexual and other connections. It says clarely all those thigs are against God. Should we change the Gods word so they would fit in??

It is not easy to live with those feelings thowards your own gender. How each one will arrange his/hers life in such cases is different. I know a couple men in church they are happy and active Templegoers. An then we had the cousin, not a member, who just last week tok his own life because of this problem: EVEN THOUGH Norway now allows gay marriages!!! So this allowance WONT bring happyness to anyones life. The only REAL happyness can be to live the gospel and to know that God loves him/her no matter the problem. But that person has to show God that he/she loves God too by living the way the Bible tells him/her to, alone in selibat or to find someone from the other sex to marry.

The simple question is what does this person want to follow God or.... do as he/she desires. It says that God is love so there MUST be a way God loves these people too a greater way than anyone can think. If we dont allow same sex marriages does not mean that we do not love these people. I am sure we are willing to help them as much as we can with their problems if they choose to follow God.

[WANDERER]

Property/contracts/insurance/...all those little things that make life difficult because the law doesn't recognise unions outside of marriage...for true equality to take place you need to look past the homosexual debate and choose to recognise other family type arrangements.

For example we have an aged pensioner population that is getting married simply because they are able to own a higher amount of property as a 'married couple' and access other benefits which they can't access as single pensioners in order to improve life quality..even though the marriage is in name only.

While those that are simply living together and are not married have the benefits of shared bill payment and separate benefits even though they may be married in everything but name only.

People are living lies...simply because they feel they have no other alternative.

And what about same sex people who are not married or do not have such a relationship but simply live together because they have chosen to do so for many years...they also go through legalistic hoops in terms of shared property and carers pensions and such.

It really is time to recognise and encompass different living contractual arrangements and to address situations where the law is not compassionate or equal and this doesn't just apply to homosexual couples. If we can't adress these situations than we are not being equitable or socially just. End of story. This is a teensy moral bandaid for a much larger problem that people are choosing to ignore in terms of what is popular or has political support rather than what is right.

[rameumptom]

We believe that God has set a celestial standard for marriage. Through prophetic voices today, we've been told that marriage is a holy and sacred covenant between God, man and woman. While we recognize the struggles homosexuals go through in the world today, we also must recognize the things that God has commanded through his living prophets. If the day comes that God reveals new doctrine concerning this, we will embrace it. However, as unpopular as it seems, following God is not always easy.

It isn't easy for people to choose to give up Word of Wisdom or other chastity issues, either; and the Church has been active in such moral issues as well.

The key then comes down to: are the leaders of the LDS Church truly prophets and apostles of God? If so, then we must choose whether to follow God or not via his prophets. We've gained a testimony of these things from God, and so we follow our prophets, even if it isn't always popular.

The key is to get the conversation back to the issue of: are these men truly called of God as apostles and prophets? If yes, then the answer is apparent in that it is God's will. If they are not, then a person can choose what they will believe.

[thejason]

Yesterday the Gospel Principles teacher brought up an interesting point. If this law passes in California, it will no longer be legal for bishops in temple recommend interviews to ask questions about marriage as a husband and wife. Does this mean that homosexual members will be allowed to attend the temple?

This does affect us and we need to do something about it. Every member in California ought to sign that petition, as well as any other state where this becomes an issue.

[MichaelPAGuy]

Correect me if I'm wrong, this could just be soly my opinion, Isn't this the church crossing bourdaries between religion and politics? The fact that it is urging it's members in California to donate their own time and money to fight this cause? It's one thing to issue a statement saying how they feel, but when they urge members to join the fight, that is where I think they've crossed the line between religion and politics.

[hwilson1119]

Correect me if I'm wrong, this could just be soly my opinion, Isn't this the church crossing bourdaries between religion and politics? The fact that it is urging it's members in California to donate their own time and money to fight this cause? It's one thing to issue a statement saying how they feel, but when they urge members to join the fight, that is where I think they've crossed the line between religion and politics.

I have prayed to know if the prophet is acting under the will of God, and I feel that he is. For that reason, I don't believe this is crossing the line. I can't make anyone else believe that without having received the same witness, however, so I can't really debate this with you.

I wish I knew what better to say, but as you can see from the original post, I'm still fairly confuzzled about it all.

[MichaelPAGuy]

How does one receive witness to it?

[jimuk]

Why is there such controversy over these things that are going on, you either believe in the word of god or you do not. I am sure the prophet has prayed long and hard concerning this issue and he would have counseled the Apostles as to what heavenly father would have us do concerning these things.

There are things i do not agree with in the church, but this does not mean that they are wrong.

We cannot only follow the bits of scripture we like and which benefit us, the scriptures are the words of god.

thejason, If my memory serves correct, a Homosexual can get a Temple recommend the same as anyone else who is worthy of such a blessing.

Oh well i hope i got it correct this time.

Edited August 28, 2008 by jimuk

[hwilson1119]

To me it's not such a controversial issue. To an investigator coming to sacrament meeting with us for the first time, it might be. We are supposed to give milk before meat, but explaining this tenet of the Gospel is difficult to do without giving some meat first. It is a confusing issue for someone who has never heard more than a single missionary discussion (sometimes not even that!) to take in- that's why I'm looking for appropriate ways to explain it to any friends my husband and I invite to church with us.

[Hemidakota]

From the official page of the church:

The Divine Institution of Marriage - LDS Newsroom