I really need some advice!

[Untitled1993]

Well, to get right to the point, I am having kind of a problem. This is kind of embarrassing for me to talk about, but it's with masturbation. I have been doing it for a couple years or so (and I'm only about 16 years old), usually multiple times a day. I feel horrible when I think about it...but I am stopping now. This is how I'm doing it...I am limited myself to once per day, and now its once every other day. Then it will be once every week, and I will just kind of let it die out, so I don't think about it anymore. Anyways, the real reason for this post, is I was wondering if this is serious enough that I should go see the bishop. I'm stopping, and repenting, because I am just so stupid for doing it in the first place. So do I need to go and see the bishop about this? Or can it just be a personal repentance? Any advice is REALLY appreciated. Thanks everyone.

[pam]

Realizing you have a problem is the first step. But yes, I would recomment you talk to your Bishop. Let him help you with solving the issues you are facing.

[pam]

I am going to allow this thread to stay under general instead of moving it to open discussion as this is a 16 year old asking for help and advise. Keep in mind this is a sensitive subject and let's keep our posts appropriate. There can be a wonderful support system here if we follow that.

[Wingnut]

I would also recommend that you see your bishop, not necessarily because it's "bad enough" or you "have to" but because he can help you with the repentance process. Also, when trying to break a habit such as this, it may be helpful to have someone to whom you can be accountable, who truly cares for you and wants to help you along the way.

And good for you for figuring out a way to help you quit that sounds like it may be successful!

[Untitled1993]

Is this a serious enough sin that I shouldn't be taking the sacrament?

And thanks guys, for your advice...I REALLY appreciate it...

Edited September 22, 2008 by Untitled1993

[pam]

Is this a serious enough sin that I shouldn't be taking the sacrament, or things like that?

Talk to your Bishop and let him help make that decision.

[Misshalfway]

Hi 1993.

First of all, I think that it may be important for you to understand why you are doing it. You know, kind of self observe and see your patterns and what precedes your need or your temptation to do this. Are you lonely, afraid, sad, bored? Are you fantasizing? Are there thought processes that you shouldn't be dwelling on?

This information can be valuable and more useful that just white knuckling or suppressing the urge. If you can stop the escalation of feelings, then you will be more powerful in preventing the action in the first place. Or if you can fill your needs in different and more healthy ways, you can eliminate the need all together.

And then, if you truly want to stop, I would get the help of a priesthood leader -- especially if you are doing this multiple times a day. Not just to repent....but to get added strength to fight it and stop it at this early stage in your life. I am not saying that you have to go to the bishop to repent of this -- although I think you are definitely flirting with the need. I am only saying that I know how hard it is to stop and I know that it is a gateway drug, so to speak, to other sinful practices. Telling the truth to another person can help you stand up to it and the bishop can give your counsel.

And then one more thing..... And it is an important thing. This is a shameful and secretive act. It is embarrassing and humiliating. But don't you listen to those emotions. Satan loves to lead us to sin and then beat us with the shame for doing what he told us to do!! Those feelings don't come from God. They will be present whenever you engage in this behavior. But you don't have to listen to them and punish yourself unduly! Be kind and patient with yourself. Sexual feelings are a normal part of growing up. You are just learning the fundamental lessons of what it means to control your passions.

So.....you are not a bad person! On the contrary! I feel your righteous desire in your post and your wisdom in addressing this early in your life!

Good luck. The Lord will help you as you go to him and his chosen servants for help.

[Palerider]

You need to stop and you need to speak with your Bishop

[Untitled1993]

Misshalfway, thank you so much for your post. That really helped me feel better while reading that, as I just feel so horrible for what I've gotten myself into. Again, thanks so much! And any other help is EXTREMELY appreciated.

[checkerboy]

If possible seek out an addiction recovery group. I am not saying you have an addiction but you will find others there that can give you strength when you don't have any.

[richlittell]

Make sure to involve yourself in worthwhile activities and service. Keeping occupied keeps you from getting into situations that lead to this temptation.

(I'm not talking video or console games). Ask around about service projects and look around you to find others that need assistance in some way or another. Serve, Serve, Serve.

Being involved in the human condition is something that helps us realize how silly, wasteful, and self-serving are bad habits.

Are you involved in Scouts? Having goals and objectives that have nothing to do with our problem helps us to refocus on the more important things in life. Have you ever built a go-cart from scratch? Built a tree house for your brother, sister, or young neighbor? Have any other dreams or desires? Have you made anything special for your parents lately, no matter how small?

Focus on worthy goals and service to others.

See your Bishop, in your later years, you'll never regret it.

If you don't, in your later years, you will definitely regret it.

[Untitled1993]

Thank you so much for the advice richlittlell. I will definitely try some of those things...