Nine Ways to Find Peace of Mind

[Moksha]

Wow, I want to find peace of mind, how about you? These nine helpful suggestions were written by Dr. Susan Jeffers:

Nine Ways to Find Peace of Mind

by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. This article is published here with the author’s permission. To learn more about Susan Jeffers and her work go to www.susanjeffers,com

1. Un-Set Your Heart

Un-setting your heart means letting go of your picture of how you want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which you have no control. One of the prime causes of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with weapons of mass destruction.

Yes, we all want health instead of illness. Yes, we all want healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts from our needing it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door to a more powerful way of living.

2. Create a Wondering Life Instead of a Hoping Life

It helps us un-set our hearts when we replace the words "I hope" with the words "I wonder." Let me demonstrate. Instead of "I hope the war ends quickly," make it "I wonder if the war will end quickly." Instead of "I hope the stock market goes up," make it "I wonder if the stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job," make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in this simple shift.

Even with difficult situations in our lives, substituting "I wonder" for "I hope" keeps our hopes from being dashed and opens up the possibility of our learning and growing from whatever happens.

3. Choose the Path of Trust

When you fully understand that you have little control of the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully you will choose the latter!

4. Increase Your Inner Sense of Power

One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again, "Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!" Those of you who are familiar with my work know that it is one of my favorite affirmations. I suggest you emblazon this powerful affirmation on your mind. If you say it often enough, you will ultimately believe it. And if you really believe that you can handle anything that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to fear? Nothing!

So when the "what-if's" are driving you mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it!" You'll feel a sense of confidence wash over you. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll handle it. Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!"

Copyright © 2003 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Adapted from her book, "Embracing Uncertainty."

Edited October 2, 2008 by Moksha

[Moksha]

5. Collect Heroes

Heroes to me are people who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in their lives. A few heroes come to mind: Christopher Reeve, who created so much good as a result of his paralyzing accident; Viktor Frankl, who created so much good out of his experience in a concentration camp; Ram Dass, who created so much good as a result of his debilitating stroke; Marc Klaas, who created so much good after the murder of his daughter. As you collect heroes, you understand this important thought: "If they can learn and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from mine!" As you collect your heroes, your trust grows and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.

6. Focus on the Learning

Yes, you can learn and find strength from anything that happens to you, just as the heroes mentioned above have done. I certainly learned from and found strength as a result of my own experiences with cancer and divorce. If you see ALL situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for things to be a certain way.

War = a way of learning

Peace = a way of learning

Illness = a way of learning

Health = a way of learning

Poverty = a way of learning

Wealth = a way of learning

Depression = a way of learning

Joy = a way of learning

So despite what is happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself "I can learn from this." When you can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad, it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in your life.

7. Embrace the Thought, "It's All Happening Perfectly"

This is another affirmation I use over and over. And it truly helps me let go of my needing things to be a certain way. "Susan, how can things be happening perfectly when there is possibility of war, terrorism, illness, poverty, and violence?" My answer to that is that we cannot know the "Grand Design," the great mystery of it all, and as we say "It's all happening perfectly," we begin looking for the good in any situation that life hands us. When we look for the good, we always find it. Yes, so much good can come from so much that is bad. In that, it truly is happening perfectly.

So when things seem very difficult in your life or in the world, just keep repeating this reassuring statement until it becomes an automatic part of your thinking. This always helps me to have trust, not only in myself, but also the Grand Design.

8. Focus on the Blessings

I have learned from my heroes that, no matter how horrible life may seem on the outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice. Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice all the beauty in our lives. And train ourselves, we must... because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future.

A suggestion: As you go about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to yourself while still in the glory of the moment, "I have had this." This is the acknowledgment that "No matter what happens tomorrow, I have had this today." It is in the noticing of the little things that you truly get the feeling of a life well-lived... that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, a candy bar, a wonderful television show...

9. Get Involved

Positive action has an amazing effect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel more powerful and our fear about the future decreases considerably. Keep repeating to yourself: "My life has meaning and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world."

Then ask yourself, "What am I called to do?" Make a list of what comes to mind, and begin taking action. When you remember that your life has meaning, it makes it so much easier to push through the fear and live a life that matters. And your self-esteem grows and grows. Just as importantly, you will have found the secret of creating a joyous and fulfilling life.

As you make these tools a part of your daily life, you experience a whole new sense of purpose and power emerging from within, and you look forward to the future with an attitude of great possibility -- for yourself and for your world.

Copyright © 2003 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Adapted from her book, "Embracing Uncertainty

Hope these are useful to you. :)

Edited October 2, 2008 by Moksha

[candyprpl]

Wow! Wonderful Moshka!

Made me think of this little book I have called God's Promises and Answers (For Your Life).

In the section labled Peace:

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation. Ephesians 2:13, 14

The God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Romans 16:20

The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:15

The Lord will give strength to His people;

The Lord will bless His people with peace. Psalms 29:11

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

[Truegrits]

3. Choose the Path of Trust

When you fully understand that you have little control of the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully you will choose the latter!

I especially like, and agree, with this one. Positivity instead of negativity.

[HoosierGuy]

Thank you Moksha. A friend in my ward wrote me a letter that contained something that made me think - animals, like dogs, do not worry about problems that will come in the future. They live in the "now" for the most part and do not worry about problems they will face tomorrow. When they deal with danger or problems, it's the NOW or current problem. They don't waste their time worrying about bridges they most likely will never cross.

She wrote that letter specifically for me because she knows I have some self-doubt issues. She is right - I, and many people, worry about bridges we will probably never cross. And we waste a lot of energy worrying about danger (what if's) that we think will happen but often times never does.

Example - I testified for the first time the on Sunday. I was real nervous. I wanted to testify before but I had self-doubt. I thought, what will the Ward members think if I mess up? What if my words come out wrong? Will the Ward want me excommunicated? etc...

I did testify on Sunday and some of the members thanked me, including the Bishops wife and the man who baptized me. And he said - "that was the way to do it! And after this, you will be able to get up there and do anything!"

I wasted a lot of energy worrying about those bridges I never crossed.

[Hemidakota]

5. Collect Heroes - Heroes to me are people who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in their lives. A few heroes come to mind: Christopher Reeve, who created so much good as a result of his paralyzing accident; Viktor Frankl, who created so much good out of his experience in a concentration camp; Ram Dass, who created so much good as a result of his debilitating stroke; Marc Klaas, who created so much good after the murder of his daughter. As you collect heroes, you understand this important thought: "If they can learn and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from mine!" As you collect your heroes, your trust grows and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.

Though, I really don't agree here on choices given to be used as heroes than those whose caliber is that of a celestial level and walks the same path as the Savior. Many times in my position in life, I have seen our youth and others, were let down by claimed worldly heroes.

Keeping our focus on the objective - CELESTIAL EXALTATION - you never loose hope with these types of heroes.

So the questions to others here, which personal hero do you look for mentoring and would follow?

[Moksha]

Collecting Heroes - It is so helpful to emulate and introject the good qualities of exemplary people we have met into our own lives, especially during times of adversity or decision making.

Embrace the Thought, "It's All Happening Perfectly - Whether we realize it or not, the Universe is unfolding as it should.

Focus on the Blessings - Count our many blessings, name them one by one...

[Heather]

Thank you so much Moksha for responding so quickly and citing the source. This is great!