MormonGirl02 Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Hi everyone. What is your advice on preparing for marriage? My fiance and I are waiting 1 year from today to get married and we are wondering what are some things we can do to strengthen our future marriage during our engagement? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Talk about money: attitudes, habits, plans for the future. Start negotiating how you will manage money responsibly together. Take time to get educated and start living those habits now. If either of you have debt, try to get that problem solved before you begin your marriage. Talk about children: expectations with regards to timing, how many, parenting styles, attitudes, and how you will manage child care as you balance work and school. When you get closer, it might be good to talk more about sex. It may help to learn how men work vs. how women do. I think sometimes guys don't have a clue about how to deal a woman and sex all at the same time. Talk about male and female roles: expectations of who is suppose to do what-- who brings home the bacon and who fries it up in a pan. What if he wants to hang with the guys every weekend? What if she wants a job? Try to get on the same page rather than assuming you see things the same way. I think the more you know about each other going in will help. You both come from different families and maybe even cultures. Figure out ways of establishing a family system that is good for the both of you while allowing each other to be individuals too. And if you establish the practice of healthy communication and problem solving skills, you will be ahead of the game. It wouldn't hurt too to understand the differences between how men and women think and feel and react to things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 I totally agree with MissHalfWay. Talk about the logistics of it all, all the main and little issues and what you expect, what you need and work on compromises when you disagree. If there are things you disagree on, don't just brush it aside, but talk about it. I think a lot of people get married and assume their mate has the same line of thinking on things they've never talked about but when it comes up, they have a totally different point of view. Example, my sister got married a few weeks after she turned 18 so neither her or her husband had lived without their parents. When it came time to actually have a job and pay the rent and think about babies and who's house to go to for the holidays.... WHAT A MESS!!! One thing that totally blew my sisters mind is that her husband expects her to always have a full time job and day care is the best choice for kids. My sister on the other hand thinks being a stay at home mom is best for her and the baby especially when he is making enough to support them. It was a very hard couple of years before they were able to find a solution. His ideas on gambling, drinking, jobs and child rearing were totally different than what she thought (assumed they were the same as hers) and it made it hard for them. I think there is a book that lists everything you should talk about before being married, kind of a cute idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 we are wondering what are some things we can do to strengthen our future marriage during our engagement?Understand, down to the core of your being, that the person you are engaged to will be the person you will end up married to.That means, the stuff he does right now that bugs you, will be the stuff he does 2, 5, 10, 50 years from now that bug you.For the love of pete, (and for the sake of your future children), do not go into a marriage with the notion that you've got a 'fixer-upper' spouse, and once he changes this or that, then he'll be perfect. He will most likely NEVER change this or that - he'll keep doing this or that until the day he dies. So, everyone has their own handful of this's and thats. A period of engagement is to give you the chance to discover the blemishes, and see if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is so blemished.If the answer is yes, then hooray and happy marriage!LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 on top of what others have said...read his needs her needs together Amazon.com: His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage: Willard F. Harley Jr.: Bookstake all the legit personality tests you can find and share the results with eachother there are a few on this site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruthSeekerToo Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Yay! May 13 is a great day to get married (today is my 14 year anniversary). You've gotten great advice. I will add that whenever you argue do it with respect. If you fight dirty you will regret it. DH and I have already had an argument and made up once today...LOL Life is stressful. When you are married you are teammates working for the same cause. Life will throw you curve balls, expect it and deal with them together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Read these books before you get married1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get MarriedIntellectual ForeplayTaking Charge of Your FertilitySex For Dummies (or some other comparable book...but wait until the month before your wedding to start it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Read these books before you get married1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get MarriedIntellectual ForeplayTaking Charge of Your FertilitySex For Dummies (or some other comparable book...but wait until the month before your wedding to start it)MOE! Why have you not shared this with me!?!?! Oh well:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Each of you write down what you expect out of marriage. Then trade... read... study... and compromise. I would also say, as much as possible form the habits now of reading scriptures together, praying together, etc. And finally- attend the temple... if not already endowed, then just visit the temple grounds. Oh ok .. one more thing.... be careful of your alone time. Dont put yourself in the position to be tempted to break the law of chastity. No matter HOW strong you may believe yourself to be... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspenmgy Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hi everyone. What is your advice on preparing for marriage? My fiance and I are waiting 1 year from today to get married and we are wondering what are some things we can do to strengthen our future marriage during our engagement? A year long engagement???Good luck with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 MOE! Why have you not shared this with me!?!?! Oh well:DI'm sorry to have neglected your needs. Which book would you like to start with Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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