Need Job/faith advice

[drjme]

Hi There everyone, I Have a small dilemma with my current work situation.

I am a contract builder, earning ok money (2-3k per week) with a secure contract to ensure me work for quite some time. I enjoy my work. but here is the problem. It requires me to travel away from my family for up to 2 weeks and then have a few days at home then off traveling again. We have two small children 10 weeks and 2 years old. We have moved country for me to work here and my wife has no support at all while I am away. I feel guilt for this, and miss her and my Children as every time I come back they have changed in such a short time. It also requires me to work on sundays. problem is again that we need the money. And if anyone hasn't noticed there is a worldwide bust in the building industry so I am lucky to have a source of good income.

I want to put my faith in God and trial it, by leaving my work and looking for another contract that will let me be with my family daily. I believe there is no other way to do it, but cut off all current bridges, as they are stopping me from putting my absolute trust in Him. I believe This is what God wants for me but I am scared/ lacking in faith to put my trust in Him, when My situation is 'make or break'. weak I know but I feel I have always tried to rely on myself, which has probably caused this problem. Any thoughts, Articles or advice, experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Money for bills? or faith and Family and risking income?

[Mahone]

I'm probably not best person to give advice on this as I'm not a parent, but we are still in a recession and I really don't believe now is a good time to be quitting your job without another one to go to. Why do you have to quit before you can look for something else? Your family are also relying on you for income and at the moment this is the only way you can provide it for them.

Unfortunately there are many jobs which require long lengths of time away from family, and I agree if you feel that this needs to change. But I really wouldn't just quit... I know of a couple of highly experienced and qualified people who have been out of work for over a year and a half, applying for over 20 jobs a day and rarely receiving even an interview. There is such a high rate of unemployment right now, the competition you'll have to face is not worth the risk. Not right now at any rate.

[Soul_Searcher]

Firstly, I would say your income is more than ok! Even translated into pounds me and DH would have a super lifestyle if we were earning that kind of money.

Secondly, your job is supporting your family so apart from the travel I'm not sure why you are thinking of quitting it. Times are hard, my DH has had to take a drop in wages and has to travel miles and miles without expenses, which drops his wages even lower. I work nights so sometimes it can be almost days before we see each other. Im also a full-time student.

I think in this day and age we need to put up with the things that are difficult, sometimes thats just the way it is. Some people have to work on Sunday. Just get on with it.

Try and call your family daily and pray for your wife to have strength ans support when she's on her own. Can't the RS help out if need be in whatever way you need?

[skippy740]

Hi There everyone, I Have a small dilemma with my current work situation.

I am a contract builder, earning ok money (2-3k per week) with a secure contract to ensure me work for quite some time. I enjoy my work. but here is the problem. It requires me to travel away from my family for up to 2 weeks and then have a few days at home then off traveling again. We have two small children 10 weeks and 2 years old. We have moved country for me to work here and my wife has no support at all while I am away. I feel guilt for this, and miss her and my Children as every time I come back they have changed in such a short time. It also requires me to work on sundays. problem is again that we need the money. And if anyone hasn't noticed there is a worldwide bust in the building industry so I am lucky to have a source of good income.

I want to put my faith in God and trial it, by leaving my work and looking for another contract that will let me be with my family daily. I believe there is no other way to do it, but cut off all current bridges, as they are stopping me from putting my absolute trust in Him. I believe This is what God wants for me but I am scared/ lacking in faith to put my trust in Him, when My situation is 'make or break'. weak I know but I feel I have always tried to rely on myself, which has probably caused this problem. Any thoughts, Articles or advice, experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Money for bills? or faith and Family and risking income?

Have you prayed about it?

Has your wife prayed about it?

When was the last time you counted your blessings?

One of the problems we have as human beings is that we're never content with the "status quo". We always want to upgrade or get what we can't have. Normally this is a very healthy thing - as long as we're happy with the blessings we currently enjoy.

What is the source of your guilt?

When you're home, are you really "home"? Or are you still working on work-related matters at home? (This is one of the hardest things for me too.)

If you were to do this, how many months of income have you saved?

How would your wife feel about you leaving your current work situation? This isn't just a "you" decision. It's a "we" decision (that is, if you want a happy marriage). :)

Also, it seems that your wife must be tired from all the child care & house maintenance responsibilities. Can you hire a housekeeper/maid service to come in and help for the household maintenance and relieve your wife of some of this burden?

Can you get someone from the ward to watch your kids on occasion so you and your wife can get some time alone? Perhaps they can come to your home during the day? This wouldn't relieve the night-time responsibilities, but would lessen the impact of lack of sleep during the day.

Talk to the Relief Society President. Perhaps, if your budget can handle it, you can make it into a paid position and you can be in a position to help someone in your ward who could use some financial blessings and you can pay them?

Just some of my initial thoughts for you.

Don't do anything rash. But think outside the box. Ask for help from the ward through the Relief Society President & your Bishop. They know the others in the ward and may be able to help you get a good "match" for your situation.

[MorningStar]

Are you traveling to a different place each time? The same place? It there an area you're working in the most that you could move to? That is a very good salary and a good opportunity to save like crazy. Definitely pray about it. I know sometimes taking a pay cut to be with your family is worth it, but it might not be the right time to make that decision. Living in poverty is also highly stressful for families.

[drjme]

Hey guys, thank you so much for your replies. here is a bit more info on the situation.

Due to the nature of people generally in my industry, When I am away, I am immersed in an atmosphere of Alcohol, drugs, profanity and pornography. This another major point of my wanting to quit. Because We have communal living situations, it is hard to get away from. Future contracts ensure closer living quarters in the outback, where I will have no contact with the family for up to three weeks And be around these people and this atmosphere 24/7. (and don't talk about being a positive influence on people, these guys are hard ). My wife and I are trying to grow another home business, Which we can do If we are together. We can move to the small town where I am working at the moment but as I said earlier, future contracts will require me to travel further away again for longer times, and then she will be living in a small town with no support and no friends and we will not be able to grow our business.

I have prayed about it and The recurring message I feel I get is 'put your faith in Me(God)', Which is the cause of my dilemma. I feel to put my faith in Him is to be with my family and find another contract closer to home. But I'm scared to do that when I am earning good money.

And my wife just needs me there as raising small children alone is taking it's toll on her, that she feels like a single mum. and for instance has had hardly any sleep for the last week, and my boy has tantrums daily when I am away travelling, He is at the age where he notices I'm away but can't understand or communicate how he feels. so has regular tantrums instead, so This is a source of my guilt, Me being away affecting my kids and leaving the wife to deal with it.

I feel like I have learned a lesson from being out here, It's like God was showing me the choice i have: Do I want the 'worldly life' (booze, drugs etc.) or Do I want His Life (I was having temptations with these sorts of things)and to follow him. I really don't know what to do though. I am confident in my abilities to find something else closer to home that may not pay as well but is still consistent. If I move to where I work now then I cut of all other options of finding any other contracts also. I don't want to do anything rash, and i am greatful for the money I earn, but.....

Thanks again guys, your thoughts are great, It's always great to get opinions from people 'outside' of our situtation. it helps a great deal, keep them coming.

Edited June 13, 2009 by drjme

[ztodd]

I don't have the authority to say this definitively (only you have that stewardship), but it sounds to me like you may have your answer, so you just have to "go and do". Do some study on faith now, and pray for more faith, and then act on what you feel God is leading you to do.

[MorningStar]

Oh yeah. Sounds like you need to get out. Let's say you were unemployed and you were offered a really high paying job as a bartender or something. Would you take it or would you have faith that God had something else in store for you? This is one of the reasons my husband got out of the military - really bad atmosphere. We had to start from scratch, but it was definitely worth it. It really dragged him down spiritually to be around the guys who were constantly talking about disgusting things.

[Guest]

My mom and dad went through this. My dad was a travelling salesman, my mom follows him around wherever he goes. Well, she got pregnant, and refused to travel anymore. So she gave my dad ~9 months to quit. My dad used the 9 months to save up like crazy so he will have a comfortable cushion when he quits. Also, he used the time to find a job. Well, he didn't find a job. He was a fresh chemical engineering graduate working as a salesman because that's how it was done in the 60's - you start from the bottom rung of the corporate ladder (usually sales) and move your way up to the engineering department. Anyway, he didn't find a job after 9 months, so he used his chemical engineering skills to make laundry soap and sold it to some of the stores in town. It didn't make much money but it was enough to get the bills paid without having to use too much of their savings. They lived very very frugally at this time. Until about a year later when he finally got another job. They still had enough money saved up from his old job that they were able to use it to put a downpayment on a house.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, "if you do your best, God will do the rest". Think outside the box as far as money-making opportunities go. Live as frugally as possible, save up as much money as you can now and put a timeline on when you are going to quit. This way, you will follow God's wishes and go about it as responsibly as possible. And yes, it has to be a decision that you and your wife will have to agree upon. Plan it carefully and you will find that it is not too scary after all...

GOOD LUCK!

[drjme]

Oh yeah. Sounds like you need to get out. Let's say you were unemployed and you were offered a really high paying job as a bartender or something. Would you take it or would you have faith that God had something else in store for you? This is one of the reasons my husband got out of the military - really bad atmosphere. We had to start from scratch, but it was definitely worth it. It really dragged him down spiritually to be around the guys who were constantly talking about disgusting things.

That is how I feel, I have tried to put up with it for the money, but is it worth the cost to my family and spirituality? Also I have looked into the area and there is no LDS church for approximately 3 hours drive . I believe that you live up to the expectations of those you most associate with. And I don't like that in this situation.

[Prodigal_Son]

... I have prayed about it and The recurring message I feel I get is 'put your faith in Me(God)'...

Then perhaps you should be wearying the Lord with the prayer of "how?" Each situation is unique, so you need to find His answer for YOU. If it means quit and walk away, make danged good and sure that you understood Him properly before you do it. And if that IS what He said, then don't look back. Walk on water, brother.

[MorningStar]

That is how I feel, I have tried to put up with it for the money, but is it worth the cost to my family and spirituality? Also I have looked into the area and there is no LDS church for approximately 3 hours drive . I believe that you live up to the expectations of those you most associate with. And I don't like that in this situation.

In situations like that, it's easy to hope that you will be the shining example and lift others up, but it doesn't usually work out like that. To be in a place where the Spirit isn't makes it very difficult to continue living righteously. We are told to stand in holy places. I think that includes work. :) I'm going to pray hard for you. I know how stressful that situation is. In our situation, it was an easy choice because the money definitely wasn't worth it either. We qualified for food stamps on his military pay even before we had children, but if we had been stationed where the cost of living was lower, it would have been OK. Eventually he would've advanced in rank enough to make things doable, but that would take a while. It was time for a do over.