Something I'm thinking about:

[Aesa]

I feel so dehumanised and empty lately.

In the last three to four months I've had more days where I have been on the brink of bursting into tears than ever before in my life.

Why?

I keep thinking: "God." But it just seems so impossible to know what God even is.

[ryanh]

It is not uncommon for clinical depression to set in in the late teens. What you describe in the first two lines says to me you ought to see a specialist and see what they think. If you simply can't shake the feelings, there may be an illness underlying it all. Go see your doc, ok?

[Hemidakota]

There is rampant reports of hostility in people that never been seen before on this level. Even I had some bouts and wondering there is something coming our way that is causing this issue. Feeling empty only brings us back to a humble state in seeking out the first comforter - the Holy Ghost.

[Maxel]

Aesa-

Despite our initial battle over the zeitgeist movement, I've grown to respect you rational approach to issues and the calmness and fairness you exhibit in listening to others. So it is as a respectful peer that I say the following to you:

These are tough times, and one of the greatest comforts we can receive in this world is the Gift of the Holy Ghost. There is also comfort in knowing- not just hoping, but knowing- that God exists. There is a way to know- all it takes is humility and a sincere desire to know, then a prayer to the Father in the name of Christ asking Him whether He is real. If you truly desire to know, you will come to know.

The question of God aside- does your family have a history of mental illness, like depression? Genetics play a big role in whether or not one has clinical depression or not, and clinical depression can be healthily treated with counseling and medication.

You'll be in my prayers, friend.

[Dr T]

No actually depression in adolescents is actually common. It's about 14% for the lifetime prevalence of depression among adolescents. I agree, go see your Dr. for a check up.

[Moksha]

I feel so dehumanised and empty lately.

You have to sift this out from reality. In reality you are a very worthwhile human being.

Best wishes in feeling renewed and energized again. As others have said, depression happens. Sounds like depression. Listen to the posters here, they have given good advice.

[Aesa]

Thanks for your advice everyone. But going to see a psychologist will have to wait until next year..

My father will not pay for that.

It's a long story, but I really should've stayed with my mother. I moved with him just for this year.

Mistake.

[Guest missingsomething]

Thanks for your advice everyone. But going to see a psychologist will have to wait until next year..

My father will not pay for that.

It's a long story, but I really should've stayed with my mother. I moved with him just for this year.

Mistake.

Then speak to a school counselor or bishop when you can... no mistake is such that it can not be undone. If you are not getting the care you need, have you tried to actually talk to your dad? Have you talked to your mom about it?

Even if you cant get to a psychologist, you can speak to a family doc and while they arent always the best equipped to treat depression -they can treat it.

[Gatorman]

I would say talk to the Bishop as well. LDS Social Services may be available to help.

[dazed-and-confused]

speaking as someone who had early onset of clinical depression, i would have to agree with whats been said already...see a Dr. or your Bishop and social services. feeling as you do can alter your perseption of many things, to your detriment.

[john doe]

I didn't think Aesa was LDS, if not then he likely won't be seeing his bishop.