Holy cow!

[RachelleDrew]

Not kidding about this one....my husband actually agreed to go to church with me this Sunday.

I've made a concerted effort to not push him back into the church. But the other day I just kind of asked him, "do you want to go to sacrament with me on Sunday? It would mean a lot if you came." He thought about it for a second and then said yes.

My question is this; would it be right for me to contact my branch president ahead of time and let him know that i'm planning on bringing my husband? The reason being is due to all the stuff that's been going on (his infidelity, his inactivation, the separation and now us trying to pull it together.) I know that they weren't planning on bringing a disciplinary hearing regarding his behavior or anything, but i'm still worried people will make comments.

Sometimes people think they are being helpful or encouraging when they really aren't. He doesn't do well under pressure. Is there any way I can kind of let people know to back off for a while until he becomes comfortable in the church setting again? I don't want him to feel ambushed. I'm afraid it will push him away.

Does my question make a darn bit of sense? Lol.

[BenRaines]

First answer is it is no one's right to know what is going on with your spouse or why he hasn't been to church other than you and the Branch President. If someone rudely asks say something like, "He was terminally ill and miracle of miracles he got better". True from a spiritual sense. If they ask what say "That is what baffles us the most we don't know what it was". End of story.

I think a call to BP to let him know your husband is planning on attending would be good. He will make sure to come up and say hi.

I am curious how a decision has already been made after someone does what you say your husband has done to not hold a disciplinary council.

Ben Raines

[RachelleDrew]

That's kind of how I felt about it. But unfortunately, we live in a very small town and our branch is exceedingly small (like 20 people who are active). They all know what happened, even though myself nor my branch president told anyone there.

I don't really know why or how the decision was made. My husband's father was even pushing for an excommunication when we were separated. His exact words were "abandonment of wife and child for an extra-marital affair is grounds for excommunication and I will be pushing for it.". He is kind of surprised that they didn't find it pertinent to even hold a council, much less excommunicate him or disfellowship him.

My bp went to a stake meeting and they briefly discussed the situation while my husband was still engaging in the affair. My bp basically told me that while he couldn't discuss the details in full, he and the other authorities decided that because my husband has been inactive for a couple of months anyway, that it would only cause more problems to hold a council. My bp said that if my husband decided to become an active member again, that his repentance process would be handled within the branch.

I'm not really sure why they came to that decision, especially since my husband and his mistress have both been candid about the affair. She hasn't faced any actions either that i'm aware of. She's still going to the mtc in a couple of months. It made me angry at first, but it's not my decision to make.

[Guest]

Rachel... HURRRAAAAAYYYY for you.

I think this is a step in the right direction. And I like your attitude about it (let the priesthood worry about the details of repentance and the "other woman"). I know you've been in pain for a while. Hope this eases up on that! I think your trust in the Lord is starting to provide its many blessings. I say just relax about it. Have faith that the branch members will know what you guys need.

[Ozone]

Way to go ,

I think just have a good time relax and smile alot. Keep things light ... If he wants to leave early then don't push the issue just go with him....

Sincerely, Ozone

[talisyn]

You're very brave, and so is he. Your BP is probably going to wait a few weeks of regular church attendance and then try to schedule a meeting with your husband.

[StallionMcBeastly]

I don't have much advice to offer, but I'm glad that he's coming to church you're happier!

[Moksha]

Here's hoping you husband will have a good experience at Church.

:)

[Bini]

Sending you both "good vibes"!

You're dealing with some tough issues. I've been there too. Hope Sunday will bring you some peace :]

[lilered]

Sounds like a great opportunity four your branch members to really welcome sinners into their fold and display loving intentions towards him.

[RachelleDrew]

Yeah, I didn't think they would be mean. I was just thinking they would make "helpful/motivational" comments that he would take the wrong way.

Today's meeting went fine. But it's probably because he slipped out right after the meeting and nobody could talk to him. Lol. I kind of thought that might happen.

[Moksha]

Yeah, I didn't think they would be mean. I was just thinking they would make "helpful/motivational" comments that he would take the wrong way.

I could easily imagine that some of the helpful/motivational comments could be loaded with an "I'm okay but you're not message."