living with non-members

[bonanzafan]

I am going to school in a town where there are few members and have considered moving closer to school to save on gas, time, and hassle. The church standards won't be lived in that home, but the other two male tenants are older and professional. I'm assuming there will be sex and casual drinking. I've been assured that there would be no drugs or parties. What do you suggest? I can't afford to stay where I am now. I've thought about it being okay since my own room would be my haven. But I'm not certain. Money is the main issue. Have you had to deal with this before?

[Soul_Searcher]

Go for it. You dont HAVE to live with members. If they have women over the worst that could happen is you bump into them in the kitchen in the mornings :) You may as well give it a try and if it doesn't work out you can always move out. If theres not gonna be any drugs dont see what the problem is really. They sound like respectable people.

[Guest]

Live in the world but not of the world... keep it in mind everyday, bro. Might be a missionary opportunity - showing them a great example of a happy Mormon without the sex, drugs, and alcohol.

[Guest Alana]

Until the last two years I always just rented rooms. It was fine because I had my own private space. Ether it's a house or a room or just a part of a room, it's yours and you're in charge of what goes on in that space. I didn't feel like what was going on in the rest of the house affected my space. Just keep steady with what you're supposed to do and you'll still have the spirit with you.

[will227457]

I don't see a problem....some of my best friends are non members

[MarginOfError]

I spent most of my college life living with non-member roommates. One was ex-navy, one was inactive duty army. My apartment was decorated with empty alcohol bottles; I've seen many late night drunken parties; had to leave the room for many inappropriate movies; fielded complaints from the neighbors below about squeaky beds; and woken up in the middle of the night to the audibles coming from the other room. Quite honestly, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I had more fun with those two than I've had with any member of the Church (except maybe a select one or two). I've had more profound discussions about life and living than with other members, and I've learned more about the value of my morals than I otherwise would have learned. My roommates even admitted to me that I was going to be happier than they were because of the way I lived my life. I grew immeasurably more in my three years living with non-member roommates than I did even as a missionary.

It will be hard though. The one comment I will never forget is when one of the other young single adults was hanging out at my place, and said, "I don't know how you do it. I look around this apartment and I don't see the Spirit anywhere--until I look at you." It can be very challenging, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

[Bini]

When I was going to college I lived in a 6-bedroom house with five other girls. Yikes!

We were all LDS but not all active. We did have boys over and there was drinking but nothing too crazy. The one girl that did live by LDS standards didn't mingle with us much but when she came around she was always friendly and wasn't judgmental. I had noticed scriptures and other Church things in her room. So I'm assuming she diligently read her scriptures and prayed, which, probably got her through living in her not-so-ideal living conditions :] So I guess what I'm getting to is that no matter what your surroundings, if you are prayerful and ask for guidance from the Lord, he will not abandon you and you'll receive the strength that you need.

Best of luck!

[AmyKate88]

I currently live with a non-member, and it has been a mixed experience.

She is very friendly, and we get along, but some of her habits have been bothersome. She drinks a LOT, and while she doesn't ever bother me intentionally, she comes home late at night (like 2-3 am) and is very loud, which can be a pain. Also she has a pretty constant guy rotation that spend the night, and it can be awkward to run into them in the morning.

It's not the worst roommate scenario I've ever experienced (both LDS and not), but it is interesting. I would love to live with an LDS girl but it can be hard to find a place. But I'm currently looking

Bottom line, if you get along, it can be just fine. Be a good example and you can be a missionary!

[lattelady]

My point of view might differ from others-- I'm not a member (so you can feel free to leave the advice, or take it). :) I'm not a member of the LDS church, but I consider myself a Christian who has a close relationship with Jesus. I'm also a mom. :) So when I read your post I read it with the same heart as if I were listening to my oldest son (who's just BARELY a teenager) ask the question.

I would say to him (and so to you): your relationship with God is the #1 thing in this life. One of the verses of scripture that I think is of utmost importance is in Proverbs 4:23 where it says, "ABOVE ALL ELSE, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.". It also says in 1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" I believe that is true!

If you're living in a house where you're probably the only one living out your LDS standards, it is possible for you to be pulled down rather then lifted up. But I would also be concerned that your good name might get lumped in with some who get themseves in trouble with women and alcohol (or one or the other). It gives an opportunity for others looking in to say, "There's a houseful of guys who's up to no good!" And even though you're not involved and you live an upright life, it can put a smudge on your good character. I know that others shouldn't judge you based on others' actions, but it's often the way the world is.

Anyway, just a few "motherly" thoughts to consider. Good luck, whatever you decide!