Mission or not

[Lindzluv]

I am really considering a mission but I am torn. I've considered it for the past year but felt I needed to wait for something, I am not sure if it was maturity, education, money or hoping I would find a special someone. I am 22 and don't want to wait too long if I am going to do it. At the same time I have something inside me that is pulling me back. I know it is not possible for any of you to really know how I am feeling but at least maybe knowing others have gone though that internal battle and maybe knowing what got you through it would help.

I was dating a guy last year who I thought would be the right one for me, he wasn't. Now that I am over that I feel like there shouldn't really be anything holding me back, but there still is. I can't describe it any more than a feeling that I will miss something if I go. I guess I am questioning whether that is a feeling from Heavenly Father or the devil. I talked it over with my Dad who is a return missionary, he tells me it has to come from within. My bishop basically says the same thing. I have been avoiding going out on dates even because I am in limbo. I also have a chance to further my education. *pulls more hair out* Anyways, since this is an advice board .... any advice?

I am sure the answer will come in its due time, I am just wanting to make it happen sooner. :) I have been praying and fasting and studying, attending institute classes and of course church. Thanks ahead for any advice.

[BenRaines]

Lindz,

My daughter went through the same things. She regularly read her patriarchal blessing. She was attending BYU, working, dating. Nothing seemed to be right. One day she heard a returning sister missionary share her feelings from having served a mission and how she was able to serve people and more importantly serve the Lord. How this girl was so thankful with the relationship that she developed serving the Lord.

My daughter came home from that meeting and said she had made the decision to go on a mission. She left two weeks after our youngest, our son, left on his. She served in Cape Town, South Africa. She loved it and the service she was able to give to the people of South Africa and the relationship that she developed with the Lord.

Your father and Bishop are right that it has to come from you. I will be amazing to you when it happens and if that is not for you or what the Lord has for you then something else will take it's place.

Good luck,

Ben Raines

[pam]

My sister basically did the same thing. In her 4th year at UVSU..heard a talk during general conference about serving..and that night made up her mind to go on a mission and has never regretted it. In fact I think she would have regretted more not going.

[Guest]

I wish I converted to LDS when I was 18. I would have loved to go on one! My hubby didn't go either - he was inactive for a while. He doesn't regret not going - because it was part of the journey leading to our marriage - but he does advice our children to put the mission on their goal list. I think Ben and Pam are correct in saying it is completely all up to you and the manifestations of the spirit!

[OneEternalSonata]

I searched for articles that might help, but so far I'm not finding much. However, I did find one that may help.

Mormon Woman on a Mission

[beefche]

I was 24 when I left for my mission. I had been a member for 5+ years, but the timing was right for me at that time (for various reasons). As an aside, it really didn't matter that I was the oldest missionary there (well, not older than the couple missionaries). I never felt any different, other than I was a little wiser on occasions due to my life experiences as compared to a 19 y/o.

I would suggest that you make this a priority in your life right now to gain a strong answer. Study your patriarchal blessing. Study the scriptures. Pray sincerely about it. Fast about it. Ask your father for a blessing during this process. And then make your decision. Prior to announcing that decision, consult with the Lord that he will confirm your decision (see D&C 9).

I have found that when I live my life as I should and work diligently on obtaining an answer, God does answer. The only times He hasn't answered (or at least I didn't recognize an answer), it was because whatever my decision was it would be good for me. He would support whatever I decided to do. I suspect that something as important as a full time mission, though, will receive an answer from Him.

[Misshalfway]

I think sometimes things come to us that do push us one way or the other on a decision and when that happens its great. Other times the clarifying answer never comes. I wonder if its just about making choices. For us girlie kinds, it isn't a commandment to go so I guess I am just wondering if maybe God is leaving the decision up to you. Maybe He will visit you with confirmations after you decide too.

[pam]

Miss 1/2 may have a point. Maybe He is waiting for you to make a decision and then ask Him if the decision is the correct one.

[beefche]

Miss 1/2, in general, I agree with you. However, a mission is tough (there are many rewards, but it is difficult nonetheless). I think that we should seek the Lord's counsel and confirmation when it comes to certain things in life. One of those is a mission, especially for a sister since we under no obligation to serve. I'm not saying that one should go on a mission ONLY if they receive a definitive answer from God, but I think we should do all we can to make that decision on our own (after study) and take it to the Lord to confirm. If after many times of asking if the decision is right and receiving no response, then I think it's time to act on our decision.

[Misshalfway]

I am not saying we shouldn't seek help from God. I am just saying sometimes God waits to confirm our decisions until after we make them. I think that sometimes a fundamental part to the personal revelation process.

Example: Got asked to be married. Asked God. No answer. Asked God. No answer. Loads of pressure from boys and pretty diamonds and anxious mothers and impatient fathers. Asked God. No answer. Asked bishop. No answer. Got blessing from bishop and father. No answer. Finally told God my decision. BIG MONGO HUGE ANSWER. :) Happy me, very sad boyfriend.

[beefche]

Miss, you are describing the exact way we are supposed to ask God questions. D&C 9 is very clear that WE are to make a decision and then ask God if it is right. Just asking God "should I marry this boy?" is not going to generate much from Him.

[BenRaines]

Miss and Beefche and Pam are correct. I have taught and taught my children that the way to get an answer from God is not to ask "What should I do?" The way to get an answer is to study the thing out in your mind. Make a decision and then ask God if that decision is the correct one. That is the process. So easy but so hard to remember.

Ben Raines

[Misshalfway]

When I decided to go on a mission it wasn't because the Lord commanded it. It was because I had that righteous desire in my heart. When I told the Lord of my decision, He confirmed it by saying that if I wanted this then he would support me. He didn't say with a giant woosh "This is the right path for you." It was A good path, as would it have been had I stayed home and served somewhere else. He didn't tell me what to do. He just supported my choosing process.

God does not command in all things and has more answers than just "yes" and "no" to give a person. And I think part of this process is to teach us to learn to choose well on our own as we work inside the spirit and the process of faith building. I think its unnecessary sometimes to fret because we haven't received absolute revelation on every big and little life thing that happens. I know this is what the church teaches, but I think this is one layer of a multilayered/facited process and sometimes limits what the Lord can do with us because we are so blind to anything but. And sometimes God doesn't answer with a burning in the bossom! And we are left to figure it out the best we can. Prayer and personal revelation is about more than just getting answers.

What if this girl doesn't get a confirmation from the Lord? That is a very real possibility. She just needs to do her best and listen to her inner voice and trust that the spirit will warn her if necessary. She is already sensing that perhaps she should wait. Heck, maybe she has her answer or at least the beginning of one.

I say relax. Do the best you can with your prayers and your decision making and let the chips fall where they may. If God opens the clouds, great. If He doesn't, then he must trust you. Move forward inside of faith and prayer either way.

[beefche]

We can receive 3 answers from the Lord 1. yes 2. no 3. make your own decision and I'll support it.

It's typically #3 that is the most difficult to deal with--that one takes a lot of faith and confidence.

[Misshalfway]

Miss and Beefche and Pam are correct. I have taught and taught my children that the way to get an answer from God is not to ask "What should I do?" The way to get an answer is to study the thing out in your mind. Make a decision and then ask God if that decision is the correct one. That is the process. So easy but so hard to remember.

Ben Raines

Well, and I think that part of the hard is not knowing when or how God will answer. Sometimes he answers with the spirit directly. Sometimes thru other people. And sometimes not for many years after the original question was asked. Other times he doesn't answer verbally or instructionally at all. He just moves the mountain or makes the path clear. It doesn't work like 2+2 = 4. We put down our 2 and then God finishes the rest of the equation according to his wisdom. We make a big mistake if we panic because he isn't putting down a 2 or God's influence doesn't look like 4.

I am comfortable testifying that God does answer prayers and does confirm his commands. but I am not comfortable in the confining of how he does that. Sorry. While I have experienced 1, 2, and 3, I see them as a very small part of my experience with the spirit.

[Lindzluv]

Thank you for all your answers. To be honest, I think I am a little nervous about being out on my own too. This is why I am moving to Utah. I may be misinterpreting my fear as some kind of message to wait. My Bishop also suggested a mini-mission. Has anyone served a mini-mission?

[StallionMcBeastly]

I am really considering a mission but I am torn. I've considered it for the past year but felt I needed to wait for something, I am not sure if it was maturity, education, money or hoping I would find a special someone. I am 22 and don't want to wait too long if I am going to do it. At the same time I have something inside me that is pulling me back. I know it is not possible for any of you to really know how I am feeling but at least maybe knowing others have gone though that internal battle and maybe knowing what got you through it would help.

I was dating a guy last year who I thought would be the right one for me, he wasn't. Now that I am over that I feel like there shouldn't really be anything holding me back, but there still is. I can't describe it any more than a feeling that I will miss something if I go. I guess I am questioning whether that is a feeling from Heavenly Father or the devil. I talked it over with my Dad who is a return missionary, he tells me it has to come from within. My bishop basically says the same thing. I have been avoiding going out on dates even because I am in limbo. I also have a chance to further my education. *pulls more hair out* Anyways, since this is an advice board .... any advice?

I am sure the answer will come in its due time, I am just wanting to make it happen sooner. :) I have been praying and fasting and studying, attending institute classes and of course church. Thanks ahead for any advice.

I don't think you can ever go wrong in serving the Lord.

The way I look at it is this: you'll never regret going on a mission, but you may regret not going.

I've never heard one returned missionary say anything besides having the BEST time of their life and having amazing experiences. You're young, so why not?

Good luck with your decision:)

[Charlyc]

I think sometimes things come to us that do push us one way or the other on a decision and when that happens its great. Other times the clarifying answer never comes. I wonder if its just about making choices. For us girlie kinds, it isn't a commandment to go so I guess I am just wondering if maybe God is leaving the decision up to you. Maybe He will visit you with confirmations after you decide too.

I'd agree with this. Generally speaking sisters need to decide if they want to go, men need to decide if they will heed the prophet's call. Then comes the praying to ask if that's the right choice, following that template Oliver Cowdery was given.

But if you do decide to go I can almost guarantee you that you'll never regret it. Sisters do a very important job in missions, for example they will visit single women or single moms for hours and really connect in ways an Elder just can't. Elders have their place off course.

And at 22 you are still young these days, the 21st century, so there should be plenty of time later for marriage, OH.. forgot...why stop dating now? no need to yet. Live your normal life today, whatever it is. Tell the guy your dating that you're considering this and keep going. When the call does come then its different off course.

Edited November 12, 2009 by Charlyc

[Charlyc]

Thank you for all your answers. To be honest, I think I am a little nervous about being out on my own too. This is why I am moving to Utah. I may be misinterpreting my fear as some kind of message to wait. My Bishop also suggested a mini-mission. Has anyone served a mini-mission?

I really disagree with those mini missions. Probably serving formally as ward missionary part time is more useful, but that's jmho. If your bishop recommends it, well you should consider it.

But the doubts on being on your own really don't help you. Plus I can definitely guarantee you that you are never alone or on your own on a mission. Not only your companion is always there but angels do help missionaries and the Lord (Jesus) is always close by. Plus the spirit, plus probably one's ancestors (guess) plus you have the other missionaries you see all the time in zone and district conferences, and the people you teach who you will love almost as much as God does.

So yes, probably, I'd say you are misinterpreting that fear as some kind of message to wait. But jmho here

[StallionMcBeastly]

Any progress yet Lindz?

Maybe you'll be sent to Alaska with me haha

[Lindzluv]

Any progress yet Lindz?

Maybe you'll be sent to Alaska with me haha

I hope so, Alaska would be fun. Have you already gotten a call? I am leaning more towards it. We'll see.

[kwaramba]

Life have got phases or biblically despension , there are things you can catch up if you miss them in life some if they are gone for sure they are gone , i would say first things first you can catch up a mission you can catch up wealth education marraige name it , just follow the pattern , it is the true pattern to life and happiness

[StallionMcBeastly]

I hope so, Alaska would be fun. Have you already gotten a call? I am leaning more towards it. We'll see.

Yup, I got called to Alaska! Maybe I'll see ya... good luck Lindz