Sex offenders mother giving my daughter a hard time...

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

Just a quick note to let everyone know that my daughter is doing well. She has her own apartment, and is attending regular counseling sessions. The young man has gone to jail for 1 to 5 years as of last monday. His Facebook accounts have been closed. My daughter feels like a weight has been lifted. She is in a relationship with a really nice guy. I am going to counseling sessions every 2 weeks to get a handle on things. We don't associate with the family as they are accusing my daughter of waiting until the offender was almost done probation until she filed her complaint. They were told that she waited because she was affraid to say anything until last year. It took her time to build up the courage. I feel for them and the offender, but it is no longer our focus. We are all living as best we can, and not dwelling on it. Thanks for all your comments and advice.

R

[Elgama]

I agree with all the previous posts we are facing a similar problem where whilst my daughter wasn't molested she was bullied by an adult at church. We haven't been able to attend church for a time as a result. (no physical means of travelling to another unit), now we can we are asking to be transferred. I cannot in all conscience expect my daughter to go to the same unit as someone that treated her the way she was treated (she is only 6 now)

I think because of this we will have to work at moving from the area, can't ask my daughter to continue to go through this.

I would start with the restraining order.

[Elgama]

Just a quick note to let everyone know that my daughter is doing well. She has her own apartment, and is attending regular counseling sessions. The young man has gone to jail for 1 to 5 years as of last monday. His Facebook accounts have been closed. My daughter feels like a weight has been lifted. She is in a relationship with a really nice guy. I am going to counseling sessions every 2 weeks to get a handle on things. We don't associate with the family as they are accusing my daughter of waiting until the offender was almost done probation until she filed her complaint. They were told that she waited because she was affraid to say anything until last year. It took her time to build up the courage. I feel for them and the offender, but it is no longer our focus. We are all living as best we can, and not dwelling on it. Thanks for all your comments and advice.

R

oops sorry I remembered your first post have been offline and didn't realise it was that long ago. Great to hear things are going well for your daughter

[ZSEdwardson]

Sometimes, a family can't afford to move away. Also, there are areas where the nearest different ward is more than an hour's drive away.

There is places where the nearest BRANCH is one hour away - I am about 50 mins away from my branch, and two other families drive a additional 10-20 mins on sunday. If someone has been molested or sexually assulted, it would be best (IMO of course) to go to another branch so that there is not a stressful situation, even if it means a hour trip.

[dizzysmiles]

You did the right thing to get that guy off the streets, he is a repeat offender. Also, I feel bad for not only your daughter, but also his sister! his sister was molested/raped by him and a friend of their families? That girl needs help and her mom isn't doing it to help her.

Edited April 30, 2010 by dizzysmiles

[Elphaba]

Just a quick note to let everyone know that my daughter is doing well. She has her own apartment, and is attending regular counseling sessions. The young man has gone to jail for 1 to 5 years as of last monday. His Facebook accounts have been closed. My daughter feels like a weight has been lifted. She is in a relationship with a really nice guy. I am going to counseling sessions every 2 weeks to get a handle on things. We don't associate with the family as they are accusing my daughter of waiting until the offender was almost done probation until she filed her complaint. They were told that she waited because she was affraid to say anything until last year. It took her time to build up the courage. I feel for them and the offender, but it is no longer our focus. We are all living as best we can, and not dwelling on it. Thanks for all your comments and advice.R

What wonderful news to start my morning. I've thought about you and your daughter often, and am very glad you decided to give us an update, and such a positive one at that. It sounds like you're all doing the right things to recover from this trauma and move on. I couldn't be happier for you.

Elphaba

[NeuroTypical]

Good deal RWB.

In related news, my wife and I'll be traveling to Utah in the coming months to attend the parole hearing of the dood who molested our niece. He's done 3 years of his 5-life sentence. It'll be nice to see everyone again. From what I hear, the niece hasn't let her bad experience slow her down any either.

LM

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

That's great to hear Loudmouth. My daughter is going to move to Utah with my wife and I. She is enjoying a new lease on life. She and I are much closer now. I helped her buy a car, and now I am teaching her to drive. I am so glad that she is finally happy. She will never forget what happened, but she is living without a heavy weight on her.

[Daniel2020]

Report any offenses to law enforcement. Contact his parole agent about violations if he's on parole.

I'd talk to the mother. It probably won't do much good, but she should know (1) what her son did and (2) how it has hurt your daughter and others.

Talk to the Bishop. Gossiping is un-Christian behavior and he should counsel the mother. If that doesn't work then talk to the Stake President. And if that doesn't work write a letter to the First Presidency.

If you can prove slander then bring a civil suit against the mother.

I doubt you can get a restraining order against the mother, although that would be great if she doesn't stop gossiping. You should be able to get a restraining order against the offender.

Moving--if possible--would probably help.

Good luck.

[Daniel2020]

If you tell me that you all go to the same ward, then just switch to another ward. Simple as that. There's no church 'law' that says you can't and I've never heard of anybody being 'church disciplined' because of it.

Members are supposed to attend the ward which corresponds to their residence. Most Stake Presidencies have had to deal with members who refuse to attend the ward they belong to; they are denied temple recommends and callings.

Permission to attend another ward cannot by granted by the Bishop; only the First Presidency can grant such permission. (I suspect they would grant it in this situation--but that's only my guess.)

Edited May 16, 2010 by Daniel2020