Another Missionary Work Conundrum

[Guest mormonmusic]

Here's another conundrum:

You're a Ward or full-time missionary and a less active woman and her active father approach you about teaching her non-member boyfriend. You start teaching them both regularly, but a pattern develops.

He leaves each discussion full of the Spirit. There are hugs, good relationship comments, humor, and recognition of the Spirit, but an unwillingness to be baptized. Next time you meet he comes back angry, contentious and full of anti-Mormon ideas. Almost like he's a different person. However, the missionary discussions are effective in bringing the Spirit into each discussion, and he leaves on a spiritual high, appearing to be satisfied that the anti-Mormon information was false and that answers given were reasonable. There is self-confessed feelings of the Spirit by this investigator.

You learn from the woman's father that this investigator loves his daughter, and wants to marry her, but is of another faith. He's also in heavy discussion with an Ex-Mormon group who is feeding him with challenges to the Church. They wanted him to take the discussions and in the process, de-convert his less active member girlfriend.

This explains he contentious behavior when you see him next.

You address this in your next discussion, citing Alma 32 and the need to nourish the testimony, not to cast it out. He agrees, is filled with the Spirit again -- you all feel it and he seems convinced again. However, you learn from his girlfriend the day before your next discussion that he's just as antagonistic again, is still meeting with the ex-Mormon group. And worse, this time, he's come to break off discussions once and for all, as well as the relationship with the less active member unless she breaks ties with the Church and joins his faith.

Your companion believes it's over, and that this will be a short visit. He doesn't think there's anything more that can be done because this non-member won't stop meeting with the anti-Mormons, and has made up his mind.

Any suggestions about what you'd do in this situation?

Edited December 21, 2009 by mormonmusic

[Just_A_Guy]

If he wants to stop, let him stop. It's his call.

Now, whether you want to point out to the member dad and his inactive daughter that this guy's deceptive/manipulative behavior towards the daughter isn't going to stop just because she renounces Mormonism and/or they ultimately wind up married--that's a toughie, isn't it?

Edited December 21, 2009 by Just_A_Guy

[Vort]

Any suggestions about what you'd do in this situation?

I would meet with the man if he wants (or is willing) to meet, reiterate what we had discussed before, point out the pattern to him, and then allow him to exercise his agency.

[LDSVALLEY]

PRAY...PRAY.....PRAY

Then prepare a lesson and show up! Unless he gets hostile toward me or toward the church then I would give the benefit of doubt. Even if this is a plan of his and the group I would still be teaching the gospel to someone. I know others who went into the lessons just to prove the missionaries wrong and ended up baptized and a solid member. Besides which the less active Daughter needs the Missionaries to stay true to the obligations they have made. Think how she feels believing he is coming over to dump her, she needs the Lord's strength more then he.

Now I will add one thing, I would continue to meet as long as some progress seemed apparent. But if I was swamped with real prospective people so I could not deal with everyone he would be the first to go. I would still do what I could for the family however.

[LDSVALLEY]

BTW what time zone is this clock in? It shows 11:15pm but my clock is 7:30 PM!

[Misshalfway]

We don't change people. We don't convince people. We present and invite and can be used as a tool. But God can only convince those who allow their hearts to open.

Take your hands and heart off controlling the outcomes of this situation. Present and follow the spirit but then let the people do what they will do. What goes on inside of this dating relationship or inside of this mans mind isn't your business. And that is absolutely ok.

[Vort]

Here's another conundrum:

So what was the resolution?

[Guest mormonmusic]

With this one, I didn't know what to do. My companion had all but given up with this investigator, and he wasn't much help in generating ideas. Plus his words were detracting from my own faith.

It was about 20 minutes before the appointment, and I couldn't think of anything we could do. So I just went into our room alone and knelt down and prayed. I told the Lord I would do ANYTHING that came to my mind even if it seemed utterly ridiculous to me , and that I believed the Lord had the power to change this man's mind.

The Ideas

Strokes of ideas came to my mind, the major ones are here:

1. Turn the discussion toward Joseph Smith.

2 Play Oh How Lovely Was the Morning on my tape player, instrumental version (strings and piano) while everyone meditated on the blessings we currently enjoyed from God.

3. Have my COMPANION (not me, for some reason) bear his testimony of Joseph Smith as a prophet.

And that was it. Take it from there.

The Discussion

So, that's what I did.

After we discussed the role of Joseph Smith as a key point in one's testimony of the gospel, he was combative, and so I suggested we let the Spirit dictate what we believed. Said a prayer asking for the Spirit to guide us, and asked everyone to meditate on our blessings quietly, and share them after the song ended.

Then I pressed the Play button and the air got thicker and thicker with the Spirit. We shared our blessings afterwards, and the Spirit seemed to get stronger and stronger. Then I asked my companion to share his testimony of Joseph Smith.

My companion did a stellar job considering he had little time to prepare. He described the huge sacrifices Joseph made to live up to the mandate of the first vision -- his poverty, tar and feathering, his martyrdom. It was a litany of sacrifices Joseph Smith had made to be faithful, and there was this powerful feeling in the room which got stronger to the point it almost hurt. All four of us had tears streaming down our faces, even the investigator, and for a few minutes it was nearly impossible to speak.

Eventually the investigator said "I think this means that ALL Churches are true". I was actually shocked at this interpretation of what we were feeling; pleased that he knew we were all touched by the Spirit, but shocked he would throw his own erroneous interpretation on the experience.

One of us commented that the Spirit will not stay in the presence of error, and we testified that Joseph Smith WAS a prophet and that he should not be concluding that ALL churches are true. We also pointed out the Spirit was still present after our testimony, indicating it was NOT false.

We ended with the hugs again and a few days later, he called us asking to be baptized and confirmed.

The Baptism and the Aftermath

The baptism happened, and then I saw our Bishop two days later who said the investigator had approached him afterwards with anti-Mormon problems and questioning whether he was doing was right. The Bishop said he spent four solid hours with this investigator going over the scriptures. I got a call a few days later from his girlfriends' Dad, railing on us that we'd baptized him too fast, that he'd turned against the Church, that he never should've been baptized. he was angry with us -- pushy missionaries, all that stuff.

The Resolution

On Sunday, he wasn't in Church at the outset. So I thought we'd been had. But he showed up right before the Bishop was ready to sustain him a member fo the Ward -- walked straight through the chapel doors and was called up to the front. I was transferred afterwards, but heard sometime later he and his girlfriend were married in the temple. This was one of those times I felt the Lord was definitely in a battle for the souls of men, and me and my companion were right in the middle of it.

It would be nice to know where those two are now.

Edited December 22, 2009 by mormonmusic

[Moksha]

Edited: missed the resolution part

[Guest mormonmusic]

Further:

I just wanted to share a corollary to this story.

After I finished typing in the resolution into this thread, I had a couple tears running down my face as I reflected on the power of God to change people's hearts, to work through feeble missionaries like myself who didn't have a clue.

My daughter walks into my room when I was done, and asked "Why do you have tears running down your face Daddy?" (She just turned 11).

I said "A lot happened to me before you were born, I was just thinking about one of those things".

She pressed me a couple times to tell her what I was thinking about, so I told her the story, like I told you.

She's grown up lately, and as I spoke, she listened intently, eyes rivetted on mine. She asked me questions throughout, and it was very spiritual. We'd had a spiritual experience in Family Home Evening when we were sharing blessings a few months ago, and I took the time to recognize the Spirit when it flooded the room; so she knows what it is, and I could tell she was feeling it.

At the end of the story she started asking me questions about the Second Coming, and the signs of the times. So I answered them. And then, when we were done, she came over to me, sat on my lap and said "I love you Daddy, and I felt the Spirit when you told me about that man who became converted when you were a missionary".

Wow, I felt even more gratitude that my little girl is already having spiritual experiences, and knows when they are happening to her at such a young age.

Someone once said 'The things you do for yourself are lost when you die, but the things you do for others are eternal". Little did I know that all that opposition we faced 20 years from those anti-Mormon groups would create spiritual experiences that would bring faith and the Spirit to my own children, the next generation. And hopefully my daughter's faith will live on in her own descendents and so on -- eternally.

Right now, I feel thankful for all the opposition I faced, like the kind I described in this thread. It provided an opportunity for the Lord to show his matchless power to me then, and now, to my daughter 20 years later.

Edited December 22, 2009 by mormonmusic

[Justice]

Right now, I feel thankful for all the opposition I faced, like the kind I described in this thread. It provided an opportunity for the Lord to show his matchless power to me then, and now, to my daughter 20 years later.

Isn't that what it's all about?

Moroni talks about our weakness in Ether 12.

Everyone should read Ether 12 from time to time.

Now might be a good time. :)