Needed advice

[crammom51207]

I'm a little unsure if anyone will have any advice to give, but I am hoping. My husband and I have been married for three years, two of which he has been working over the road and only home for a few days a month. Our kids are now almost 3 and 4, and he has missed out on a lot of their "babyness". He hates what he does, but there is no work nearby.

He is really mad, most of our conversations are with him being angry, even cussing, and I just don't know what to do.

It's not that I WANT him gone, it's just that there is no work near home. We can't afford child care for me to work, and I just really don't know what to do.

[lydlou]

wow, that sound so similar to my life right now, except my kids are school age. I'm afraid i dont have much of a solution. i'm planning on going to colage taking classes durring the schoolday so i dint need a sitter. with the pell grant i should even have a little money left over. hopefully when i graduate i can find a good job nearby so my hubby can look for work closer to home.

as for him being angry I dont have any advice. yelling has alway terrified me, so i useuly just cry which never seems to help much.

I know i havent given any actual advice, but i find it comforting to know that I'm not the only mom stuch at home while her husband works elsewhere.

oh i do have one good idea. dose he have a laptop, or a net book? you could do video calls so you can "see" eachother more often. (if he dosent have a netbook, you might tink of useing part of your tax return to get him one)

thats about all i can think of.

hopre i helped alittle.

[talisyn]

Wifi is found in most truck stops and hotels (I'm assuming your husband's a truck driver). The laptop idea is a great one. My fiance and I managed to grow closer via internet while he was going to school. Kids love seeing themselves and others (esp dads!) on computers. You could even have 'date nights' where it's just the 2 of you when the kids are in bed

[Loving_Wife]

I can relate to a husband who is angry over situations that he has no control over. I know this might not seem like an answer but all I can say to you, and it's what I did, is pray for your husband. Don't forget to pray for yourself too!

I have a blog, a private blog that only my husband can read, and I blog to him. Although my hubby is home every night I still blog to him. I blog about what the dogs ate that they weren't suppose to. What kid did what, the good and the bad. I tell him all the things that happen during my day. I share my hurts and yeah at times anger about the day and what happened with him through my blog. Sometimes, at least for me, writing it down helps to clear my mind and helps to center my thoughts on the important stuff. Some days the blog is nothing more than a love letter to him. Once a month I take one child and blog about that child. Rarely does he send a reply to my blog but we talk about it in person!

I do online college and love it. I'm home with the kids and have the freedom to do school when it fits into my schedule. I really do love being a SAHM and being with my kids .... well ok some days more than others

Edited January 18, 2010 by Loving_Wife
typo's

[NeuroTypical]

he has been working over the road and only home for a few days a month.

...

there is no work nearby.

...

It's not that I WANT him gone, it's just that there is no work near home.

Move?

[FunkyTown]

Move?

LM's right. If there's no work locally, move to a new area. It'll let your kids have a father who's there.

If possible, move to a place where there's family.

I'm a little concerned with all the yelling, though. That's not a good sign and something nobody should have to put up with. I'd get counselling for both of you - Not just him. You need to be able to stand up for yourself as well.

[sleepless3977]

LM's right. If there's no work locally, move to a new area. It'll let your kids have a father who's there.

If possible, move to a place where there's family.

I'm a little concerned with all the yelling, though. That's not a good sign and something nobody should have to put up with. I'd get counselling for both of you - Not just him. You need to be able to stand up for yourself as well.

i agree with this totally