I really need advice please

[warr]

Dear fellow LDS.net members,

I am putting this thread in need of advice. I am a person that cares for others and is always willing to put a helpful hand. Recently I know a young couple that are LDS. They have been dating for awhile now. They are very happy with each other. Always having a great time together. Putting smiles on each others faces. They Love each other with a "love that is incredible". And I personally think they look great together! The problem is that they both have committed a sin together. They both know its wrong. They are having trouble deciding what to do. If they omit to their sins they are afraid of losing each other. Marriage has always been on their mind, including in the temple. Both of them have not been missionaries. They turned to me for advice. I am still praying very hard to find advice and hope. I guess the question that is trying to be asked is; Can an LDS couple still marry in the future even after committing sin together?

Please I am knew here and need advice. Anything will help me dearly. I tried to make this clear but if it needs to be more clear let me know. Thank You.

[pam]

They can always get married. Now whether they could get married in the temple is a matter of both of them going through the proper steps of repentence.

The problem is then..can they keep from repeating the sin? Are they seriously thinking of getting married? While I know the ultimate goal is to get married in the temple..I've always suggested that sometimes better to get married civilly and stop the perpetuation of the sin if it is too much of a temptation.

[NeuroTypical]

Can an LDS couple still marry in the future even after committing sin together?

Absolutely. The church will marry non-LDS people. The church will marry people shacking up together and living in sin. The general idea is that marriage is good, formalizing commitments are good.

Or, in other words, if a couple who are sinning wish to stop sinning and become man and wife, what sort of goofy mindset would there have to be, to say "sorry - you had premarital sex - that means no legal (deleted by moderator) for you!"

LM

(Now going to the temple is another question entirely.)

Edited January 20, 2010 by john doe

[WillowTheWhisp]

I'm a little confused by the bit about being afraid of losing each other if they omit (?admit) to their sin. If this is a sin they have committed together they both know about it so why would they lose each other? As both are LDS I think they need to repent of their sin and be at peace with themselves and Heavenly Father first before they think of what's next. Then if they are sure of their commitment to each other they could think about marriage before sinning again and then work towards becoming temple worthy and being sealed.

[FairChild]

First and foremost, they are still children of our most loving Heavenly Father. He has provided a way back to him whatever sin it may be. I think that is where you need to start. And love them both like crazy. I wish you clear thinking, loving and kind words and inspiration from our loving Father to help guide you through this.

[need4peace]

It would be best for the couple going through their personal pain to talk with their Bishop so they can be helped through the Godly Sorrow stage of repentance. They need love and support through this and maybe the following articles might help you to help them too. In the New Testament Presentation Video there is a lesson titled "GODLY SORROW" about a woman who had to experience Godly Sorrow before being ready to be married in the Temple.

YouTube - Godly Sorrow

LDS.org - Ensign Article - The Gospel of Repentance Remember this, that forgiveness can never come without repentance. And repentance can never come until one has bared his soul and admitted his actions without excuses or rationalizations.

President Romney said “And so I comforted and encouraged those who confided in me, and I encouraged all sorrowing, repentant men to be comforted - For today, as well as in days of old, there is hope, there is peace, there is rest in Christ for all whose Godly sorrow brings them to that repentance which worketh salvation. Forgiveness is as wide as repentance. Every person will be forgiven for all the transgressions of which he truly repents. If he repents of all his sins, he shall stand spotless before God because of the atonement of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.” (In Conference Report, Oct. 1955, pp. 123–24.)

Elder Romney’s message is comforting to all who truly repent and return to the arms of a loving and merciful Savior. It is a lie propounded by the adversary that our sins can run too deep, that any one of us has sunk below the reach of the Savior and his atonement. The scriptures give us only one exception: those who have sinned against the Holy Ghost, “having crucified [the Savior] unto themselves and put him to an open shame” after having known the Lord’s power and partaken of it. (See D&C 76:31–37.) If we do not fall into this category (and those who do are few), we can, with the help of the Lord, come back onto the path and become clean and pure again, worthy to receive our Father’s greatest blessings.

Once a repentant member qualifies for these blessings, none will be withheld, including the blessings of the priesthood and the temple. President Spencer W. Kimball expressed this glorious principle in a beautiful way, and I add my testimony to his:

“When soiled clothes have been through the laundry and washed, starched and pressed, they are no longer filthy. When the smallpox victim has been healed and cleansed, he is no longer contaminated. … When one is washed and purged and cleansed, he is no longer an adulterer. …

“The effect of the cleansing is beautiful. These troubled souls have found peace. These soiled robes have been cleansed to spotlessness. These people formerly defiled, having been cleansed through their repentance—their washing, their purging, their whitening—are made worthy for constant temple service and to be found before the throne of God associating with divine royalty.” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, pp. 352–53.)

LDS.org - Ensign Article - A Chance to Start Over: Church Disciplinary Councils and the Restoration of Blessings

Sorrow for Sin

Sorrow always follows the recognition of sin. The destructive form of this sorrow, which often manifests itself as self-condemnation, is related to what the Apostle Paul called “sorrow of the world,” which “worketh death.” In contrast, he described a positive form of sorrow, “godly sorrow,” which “worketh repentance to salvation” (2 Cor. 7:10.).

The main difference between these two forms of sorrow is their source.

Worldly sorrow is promoted by Satan. It is the sorrow of being caught, of not being able to continue sinning, or of turning against oneself with self-loathing or disdain.

Godly sorrow, on the other hand, is sorrow given as a gift from God to those who are willing to receive it. Godly sorrow leads us to a full recognition of the magnitude of our sins but with the knowledge that we can become free of them. It leads us to fully recognize the wrongs we have committed without giving in to the temptation to see ourselves as worthless or beyond God’s love.

There is no room in godly sorrow for self-contempt. Those who refuse to forgive themselves thus bear a double burden of sin, for not only do they carry the sin itself, but they also add to it the sin of self-condemnation and refusing to forgive. Indeed, refusal to forgive is cited in the scriptures as “the greater sin” (D&C 64:9). LDS.org - Ensign Article - Forgiving Oneself

[RanMan]

Dear fellow LDS.net members,

I am putting this thread in need of advice. I am a person that cares for others and is always willing to put a helpful hand. Recently I know a young couple that are LDS. They have been dating for awhile now. They are very happy with each other. Always having a great time together. Putting smiles on each others faces. They Love each other with a "love that is incredible". And I personally think they look great together! The problem is that they both have committed a sin together. They both know its wrong. They are having trouble deciding what to do. If they omit to their sins they are afraid of losing each other. Marriage has always been on their mind, including in the temple. Both of them have not been missionaries. They turned to me for advice. I am still praying very hard to find advice and hope. I guess the question that is trying to be asked is; Can an LDS couple still marry in the future even after committing sin together?

Please I am knew here and need advice. Anything will help me dearly. I tried to make this clear but if it needs to be more clear let me know. Thank You.

We had a young couple in our ward that ran into this situation a couple of years ago. They had to work it out with the bishop. They had a civil marriage and about a year later were sealed in the temple.

The best advice I can give is have them immediately talk to their bishop.

:)

[Generally_Me]

From personal experience...yes. We've been married 6 years in April, but next month are getting sealed in the temple. Also, though, from experience, they have a lot of work and pain ahead of them. But if they are committed together and to each other, and to repenting, they will probably be fine.