Single in the Uk?

[Debs]

I talk to many Lds people all over the world, married, widowed, single, divorced, converts, grandparents...all sorts....but what rarely comes by are single Brit Lds people....why? Cos there isnt that many single adults out there that are either true to the faith (as best they can be) or are prepared to go out of their way to make a new life happen.

I recently got talking to a guy I met through my new branch president, we got along really well, his kids were cute, even his ex spoke to me and we laughed around. Over the months they have both become good friends, and the ex even encourages us dating even though he lives 80 miles from me. He actively shows me how interested he is in me, my life, my work, my days, my kids and anything else, yet the one thing we cant agree on is where to potentially live.....i have made it clear that as my 2 youngest children have had too much unsettlement in the last 3 yrs since my divorce i feel i owe it to them to keep them in this house, these schools and with these friends for a while to come. I havent written off the idea of moving but i just dont feel right now is a good time. However, as this guy drives as part of his job, if we did get married it wouldnt be out of his way to pick up the children on a friday on his way back. Taking them home could be an afternoon out before dropping them off. Even his ex has offered to pick them up or meet half way!

Me, i'm thinking this is the ultimate block, the reason he is preventing us going forward. Maybe theres something else behind this i dont know andi cant really tell (though i doubt it becuse he is very open and pro active towards me) so i'm stumped as to what to think.

Dating in the uk is difficult at the best of times, but when you do finally meet someone there seems to be that one thing that almost grinds it to a halt.

Or is that just my experience?

[WindRiver]

Young kids adapt easily to new surroundings. As they get older I think it becomes more difficult.

I would put keeping them in the same place very low on my priority list if it were me, UNLESS the Lord made it very clear that I should not move.

[Debs]

Thanks WindRiver...it is by inspiration that i feel strongly about staying put right now. I have never had the spirit tell me anything otherwise whenever i've prayed about it :)

[Elgama]

where are you in the UK? it requires some effort from you but I live in the boonies as far as the church is concerned and it wasn't that difficult one thing you do come across is a lot of single LDS in the UK at least when I was dating are quite happy single. But there are dances and YSA/SA conventions and its worth contacting your Stake YSA Rep and find out what is going on.

[Debs]

Hi Elgama

I am in the woods....Forest of Dean. The Stake YSA wouldnt bother with me, i'm 41! lol However, the SA Rep has pretty much echo'd what you said yet knows how important it is for kids to have stability. If this guy had a job that kept him at one place then yes there is more of a compromise needed, but as he travels the country I dont understand why, for the time being, my kids cant have some stability in their lives here, we've only been here 4 months and everything had to be started from scratch in their lives.

Maybe I need to rethink, but right now any other alternative doesn't ''feel'' right.

Debs

[Elgama]

lol OK you seemed much younger:) not sure haven't dated in a few years, I think you are right about your stability, your children have had upheaval and I'd be doing the same and probably not praying about it tbh

[Debs]

thanks..i think! lol

its a tough one cos i dont mind compromising with my work or anything else, but not the kids school just yet.

however....i decided to leave it to the Lord right now....a friend suggested that maybe our relationship is too easy and will not hold the right kind of challenges/strengths etc to be more than what we are now. sounds negative but it was only part of the wisdom she suggested!! lol

so now i'm confused as well!! LOL

[Jbs2763]

not many singles were i come form either Debs...or where i'm at now..grew up in Indiana...not many unmarrieds my age...now im living in the sandbox...not many LDS here...lol

[Debs]

lol jbs......i hear ya!!!

have you thought of moving? (i got that off another thread, not my very own thought!!!)

debs

[Jbs2763]

well..i did move..to Iraq...when i get done with this gig, i'll go back to the states..or wherever i can find work

[Debs]

you took the moving thing serious then eh? lol

how long you left serving?

[Jbs2763]

im here on a DoD contractor job, hopefully be able to work here, or in Afghanistan for 3 years total

[Happiness3]

Debs-

I've wondered about this issue myself. Keep praying for guidance.

Good luck to you--please keep us posted.

[marts1]

Something dosen't seem right, him not wanting to make the move for no apparent reason. Also the fact you are getting no inspiration to make a move tells me something as well.

Edited March 1, 2010 by marts1

[Debs]

Thanks Happiness :)

Marts....i agree. that has been a constant thought which is why when my friend suggested maybe we dont have the 'oomfff' for a long lasting relationship, only a friendship, i gave it some thought...as as much as i like this guy i am beginning to feel that this is all we are itnended to be.

[marts1]

It could be this is the guy for you, who knows, but perhaps just not right now.

[Debs]

:)

whatever he and i are meant to be will shine through soon enough, i'm sure. for now we're just rolling with it! :)