traumatised and out of control

[Elgama]

My middle child might be autistic and recently we have had some really appalling problems with our neighbours following a really bad week which involved smashed windows, graffiti etc my son has gone out of control, everything he can dump out of a bottle has been done, when I take him out he runs away, I am spending all day cleaning up one mess after the otehr and have no energy left - discipline doesn;t seem to be helping if anything a cuddle seems to help more he then tries to help me clean up and we get a longer break between things. I just have no idea how to handle this he had delayed speech anyway, but it was improving now we are back to nothing.

[WmLee]

1st determine if your child is autistic. Get a profession examination/diagnosis and find out. Then get the proper help for both of you. This you need to do right away. His behavior could endanger him as well as the family.

If autism isn’t the problem, find out what is.

[Wingnut]

It sounds like you need to speak with your child's physician and have him tested. Then meet with someone (whether physician or therapist) who specializes in whatever it turns out you child is diagnosed with.

[marts1]

If after all you can do fails, realise the power of the priesthood is very real.

[Elgama]

he had a blessing last night said although he was foreordained to be a strong man of God he needed to remember he was only 3 lol

Because he is high functioning and we home ed anyway we have with discussion with various health professionals decided to hold off on a diagnosis until he has been through speech therapy. His behaviour is difficult but i am not willing to get the diagnosis unless we need it, I have appointments next week but really I would just like ideas about how to help him usual discipline isn't working, a hug seems to be more effective and also ideas for Mum to stay more serene and calm when dealing would be nice

his behaviour is a combination of what is probably a high functioning autistic faced with a smashed window and other weird things happening in his life

Edited March 5, 2010 by Elgama

[Wingnut]

he had a blessing last night said although he was foreordained to be a strong man of God he needed to remember he was only 3 lol

It also sounds like maybe you also needed the reminder that he's only 3. You can't expect too much from him yet.

Because he is high functioning and we home ed anyway we have with discussion with various health professionals decided to hold off on a diagnosis until he has been through speech therapy. His behaviour is difficult but i am not willing to get the diagnosis unless we need it, I have appointments next week but really I would just like ideas about how to help him usual discipline isn't working, a hug seems to be more effective and also ideas for Mum to stay more serene and calm when dealing would be nice

A proper diagnosis could help direct more effective therapeutic efforts.

[applepansy]

Elgama, patience... I know hard to do when you don't feel well. If a hug is helping most of all, then give more hugs. Hold him more. Just lay on the floor and play with him. The house can wait. It sounds like he needs to be reassured that he's safe. Give him some time. He doesn't understand the cause of the scarey stuff and therefore will have difficulty understanding that the cause has gone away. However, time will help him feel safe again.

Aren't there resources you can access that you can't without a diagnosis? When is he finished with the speech therapy? If your physician isn't certain its autism then I agree that rushing to diagnosis can do more harm long term. however, in the meantime, do all you can to educate yourself about early intervention with autistic kids. The early they get the training and skills they need to cope with their world the better they do long term.

You're in my prayers,

Applepansy

[dazed-and-confused]

years ago i heard of a book by a father of an autistic child. i think it was called "rising son".

he treated his son with love and hugs instead of the more traditional technique of over medicating.

this was many years ago.

[BenRaines]

Three year olds are three year olds. I have had four of my own and three grandchildren. Each one is an individual. Please be careful in pigeonholing them in to one type or another. Watch, observe and teach but please be careful in putting a label on any one of them. Good luck.

Ben Raines

[Elgama]

I agree Ben part of why I feel if he doesn't need a diagnosis we won't get one - I'd rather he learned to be Gabiel than autistic. And although its awful right now hopefully the situation is temporary and I don't want to make the life changing decision right now. Although today he has spent his time libing up cars and boots lol.

I think lots of hugs and kisses are the way to go just ignoring the behaviour until the family is in a more settled place and come Monday we are going to set in place a regimented day for him and hope it helps him feel more secure. He is desperate for the house to be cleaner so today that is what is happening lets hope it all helps:)

[Joette]

It's tough when any child has any behavourial issues whatever the cause.

In my experience whatever the problem children need the same things-love,support,approval.a sense of safety,boundaries & lots of hugs.

One of my lovely nephews suffers from Autism.It is hard to see him terrified by things that are exciting & everyday to us.Yet he brings such joy & love with the challenges he brings.He is more supported by speech therapy( he is very articulate when he chooses but his non-verbal coomunication skills are good enough for him to get the job done) He grasps abstract thoughts & ideas way above his chronological age & his skills at self-care are way above that of his elder brother.Yet a trip anywhere can be more daunting with him & take longer than a day's hard gardening.

Learn to live with what he has & if he does have autism it's a hard road to plough ,very much a one step forward & then three steps backwards kind of life.