Outside-In

[strangeloop]

Hello every one.

Let me explain my situation before I pin down the issue about which I am seeking advise.

I am what one might call an ex-mormon. I know that "ex-mormon" carries a lot of negative connotations with it, rest assured, none of those apply to me. I resigned simply because I realized that I wasn't being honest with myself. No matter how much I seemed to put into affirming the faith for myself, I would still come up empty. I decided that I had better start from where I was really at.

I have started a life based off of what resonates with me; taking personal experience coupled with intense soul searching. I don't know If I'll ever return to the LDS faith, but I will never criticize someone for belonging to it. In fact I find that I get along best with LDS people. Many of the principles in life that I hold most important are the same ones that Most of you hold important: Love, Charity, Honesty, Creating strong family ties, Understanding, etc... This brings me to my dilemma.

I enjoy so much the structure of the LDS church. The LDS church is a powerful thing and has the potential to improve the quality of peoples lives everywhere. I enjoyed church attendance as I felt like I was strengthening and being strengthened by like minded people. I love the people in this church and still feel a strong connection with them despite differing beliefs.

This brings me to my dilemma: Should I reconnect with my former faith despite not believing the same way as those in it?

I am not looking to "convert" anyone to my way of thinking. I simply wish to mingle with people that I love who share many of the same ideals.

Thanks for any advise you might offer.

Lex

(I hope that nothing that I posted has been offensive. If so I apologize as it was not my intent.)

[pam]

Hi strangleloop and welcome to the site.

I'm not offended by your post one bit.

I don't believe for a moment that you are alone in your way of thinking. There are many who have never even been baptized members of the LDS religion that cling to the people and the way of life that the LDS religion brings. Yet they can't totally commit to it as there are things they don't entirely agree with.

If reconnecting with your former faith makes you happy then do it. While you may find that many within the Church won't understand it, do what makes you happy. If attending services strengthens you then do it.

But keep in mind that those that don't understand it may not be that overly friendly. Many will. We are to fellowship and support all those that walk in the door. Not just because they believe every single little tidbit that we believe but because they are there and that's what is important.

[strangeloop]

Hi Pam

Your reply gives me a lot of hope.

I don't expect most to understand, and I'm fine with that. I just want to get a feel for the overall reaction of the people on this site.As an ex-member,I don't think it's my place to attend if it's not deemed appropriate by current members, especially since I resigned.

thanks again for your input :)

[pam]

Well it's absolutely your place to attend. It's not up to what is deemed appropriate by current members.

[marts1]

A more important question is, does God want you there? I don't have to answer that one.

[Moksha]

This brings me to my dilemma: Should I reconnect with my former faith despite not believing the same way as those in it?

Lex

Lex, I would say yes. Reconnect in a way that is meaningful and genuine to you. The core values you have brought with you are also part of the Church of Jesus Christ. We all have our uniqueness based on background and experiences and we can build upon it. Our diversity enriches our worship and service. Let the Church help meet your spiritual needs.

[Guest Alana]

My brother in law comes with me to church and he's not Mormon. He likes going to church because he says it helps him be a better person and he goes to our church because that's where I go. If asked about his opinion on anything he'll say something along the lines of 'I don't know, I'm just hear to listen to you.' If you think you'd enjoy being back at church, then go, why not?

[Guest Godless]

Here's my advice as a fellow ex-member. Try to find church activities that you enjoy and attend them. I continued to attend Institute long after I had lost interest in the Church because it was a great opportunity for me to mingle with people my age, not to mention friends that I had known for years in the Church. I was always welcomed with open arms and understanding. Try finding a YSA group in your area to become involved with. It's unlikely that you'll be met with anything other than compassion and fellowship.

[Elphaba]

I left the Church because I no longer believed it to be true. But just the other day I was thinking how much I miss it. I loved feeling a part of something so basically "good." In fact, until I was able to feel good about myself on my own, the Church did that for me, because it guided me in the journey.

I especially enjoyed my women friends in the Church. Visiting teachers/teaching, and Relief Society were very profound experiences for me in that we always had a lot of fun, but everything we did was underscored by a real sense of eternal purpose.

When I lost my belief in the Church, I really struggled for a while. That was eons ago, but I know the goodness I felt so profoundly has stayed with me through the years.

Believe it or not, lds.net has filled that gap for me in many ways. I can be my myself here while mingling with the faithful, and have made many true friendships.

Perhaps the same could happen for you as well?

Elphaba

[strangeloop]

sorry, accidentally posted this before I finished it, and I can't seem to delete it

Edited March 28, 2010 by strangeloop

[strangeloop]

I left the Church because I no longer believed it to be true. But just the other day I was thinking how much I miss it. I loved feeling a part of something so basically "good." In fact, until I was able to feel good about myself on my own, the Church did that for me, because it guided me in the journey.

I especially enjoyed my women friends in the Church. Visiting teachers/teaching, and Relief Society were very profound experiences for me in that we always had a lot of fun, but everything we did was underscored by a real sense of eternal purpose.

When I lost my belief in the Church, I really struggled for a while. That was eons ago, but I know the goodness I felt so profoundly has stayed with me through the years.

Believe it or not, lds.net has filled that gap for me in many ways. I can be my myself here while mingling with the faithful, and have made many true friendships.

Perhaps the same could happen for you as well?

Elphaba

Exactly!

For me it all boils down to human interaction and love.

I had a real connection with so many people through my activity in mormonism.

It's nice to know that Im not the only former member that feels this way.

[Roseslipper]

i agree with all the above post..no one in the church is perfect, we all make mistakes..and if u want to go to church and join in with the activites, and sunday worshop then do so..and if any one says something negative Please dont let it bother you...Heavenly Father would want u to be there, special if you want too be....Go, mingle, enjoy......keep us up to date on your experiences...

[FairChild]

I'm so glad you are here. FC

[Wisc]

Salus extra ecclesiam non est

[strangeloop]

salus extra ecclesiam non est

lol

[rameumptom]

Strangeloop,

Welcome. Nothing wrong with ex-Mormons. We have an occasional Anti-Mormon here that we end up asking to leave, because they just want to attack Mormon ideals.

We have several here who are ex-Mormons, and a few who have never been LDS. The discussion can be interesting, but we should all seek to respect those we disagree with. In doing so, we all can possibly help one another.