General advice for those who are struggling.

[Wormwood]

I have posted this else where but though It might be usefull to others the two talks I have given links to have be the source of great inspiration and meaning to myself so i wish to share them and for other to read them and feel the same way.

Sometimes I wonder weather we ask advice and rely on others especally our priesthood leaders to much.

I think it is important to note that the Lord wants us to be spiritual self reliant as well as temporally.

That I take it to mean is being able to be taught and directed and guided by the spirit which we recieve through the counsel given in the scriptures and through living prophets and apostles.

If you cannot overcome your addiction by yourself but believe that you can by paying for some programme are you" excersing faith unto repentance" and are you allowing the savior to fufill his mission and calling as the great phisician and cleanse you and make you holy and worthy to stand is in presence.

These are two questions I am asking myself I am not chastening you in your efforts to be free from your addiction I commend you for doing all that you can do. But freedom comes with a price that price is obedience to God the Savior said "I am the way, the truth and the Life do man cometh unto the father but by me- the thruth will set you free"

Here are two links to devotional talks given by Elder David A Bednar my advice is that you read them and the scriptures that he uses that you ponder in your heart the meaning of the words and that you pray with real intent to know if thay are true.

According to Thy Faith

Turn Ye, Turn Ye Unto the Lord Your God

As you act on the Lords counsel and turn to him you will recognize that he never left you but he has walked beside you through out his greatest desire is for you to be clean and worthy to live and be with him eternally he has the power to sustain you through all of you afflictions in the Name of Jesus Chirst Amen.

[Elgama]

this is my favourite piece of general advice:)

[Elgama]

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

This is my favourite verse, I came back to the thread because something about seeing obedience to the Lord as 'a price' bothers me, it doesn't sit right,

[Wormwood]

When I mentioned obedience as a price of freedom from sin I guess I could have used if you love me keep my commandments I think you are right in the fact we should be obedient because we love the Lord not because we feel bound to.

[HoosierGuy]

Struggling. Yeah, every thing I want is on top of a mountain. I get to the top and find it's not the top, there's more to climb. I pray and pray and pray for help and the only answer I get is - do it yourself! do it yourself!

How can I not be angry at God when all He says is either nothing or do it myself? If I have to do everything myself then why should I want to follow Gods rule? For the strength He's given me to reach this point? Ok, I can agree with that. But then I find what I want is surrounded by sin. It's as if I have to go through sin to reach my goal and half the time I think my goal is sin. It's one big mess.

[Elgama]

How can I not be angry at God when all He says is either nothing or do it myself? If I have to do everything myself then why should I want to follow Gods rule? For the strength He's given me to reach this point? Ok, I can agree with that. But then I find what I want is surrounded by sin. It's as if I have to go through sin to reach my goal and half the time I think my goal is sin. It's one big mess.

stop looking as your trials as trials and start appreciating the blessings you receive as part of climbing the mountain. If you don't appreciate the view whilst climbing the mountain its a lot harder, and that climb becomes even harder if you leave your breathing apparatus, warm clothes and food at the bottom of the mountain

[HoosierGuy]

JOB I am not. My adopted LDS "grandmom" used to write me - Remember JOB and the trials he went through. Remember, you are a wonderful person with a glorious future. Remember JOB."

I am not JOB and I don't want to wait for that "glorious future." Waiting is making me crazy.

I want it now.

I wonder if, as I go through therapy, there will still be a place for God in my life. I hope so. I just got back from riding my bike at my favorite state park. I went there to enjoy nature and get closer to God. I did pray, many times. I talked to God. Yes, I still love God and Jesus and want to do what is right. But it seems for me to be happy I will have to do what I want and only want I want. What happens when what I want goes against what God wants for me?

[HoosierGuy]

I have my agency. I'll work it out with God.

[HoosierGuy]

But if I don't post here again after the weekend, please pray for me. My one friend in the ward said if I do what I'm planning on doing (sinning), and then drive home from Indy, and then get in a car crash and die, it will because I sinned. Something like that.

[Elphaba]

But if I don't post here again after the weekend, please pray for me. My one friend in the ward said if I do what I'm planning on doing (sinning), and then drive home from Indy, and then get in a car crash and die, it will because I sinned. Something like that.

Hoos, no one here would tell you that you will die in a car crash because you sinned. It doesn't work that way, and it's nonsense.

Sometimes I think all you need is to look to your own common sense rather than seeking it from others.

Good luck this weekend.

Elph

[hordak]

Hoos, no one here would tell you that you will die in a car crash because you sinned. It doesn't work that way, and it's nonsense.

Sometimes I think all you need is to look to your own common sense rather than seeking it from others.

Good luck this weekend.

Elph

God don't kill sinners because they sin. I'm living proof:evilsmile:

[Elgama]

Good Luck Hoosier and life isn't easy but actually there is no reason why Job can't be your inspiration. I know that during the darkest times in my life that book was my comfort and D&C 121-123.... I clung to them. Life isn't easy and I am miserable a lot right now, I keep telling myself all I need to do is murder the woman that lives next door and the one that abused my daughter at church and life will be well again. But really it won't

[HoosierGuy]

I'm seeing a therapist. I'll bring this up how I can get down and post some really negative posts on lds.net and even other places. I know what he will say tho - does it please you? Is that what you really wanted? I guess he wants to help me find my inner core and do what my inner core wants do and not what my older brothers and sisters or others want me to do.

I'm trying to break out of my shell and the LDS church has helped me do that. Now I'm taking a girl out to a Latin bar in downtown Indy this weekend. I've never been that far before so it's new territory for me and I'm slightly terrified. I don't know where the weekend will take me. I know one thing, if you told me two years ago I would be taking a nice looking girl out to a Latin club in downtown Indy late at night for dancing and general fun, I would say you are crazy. It's the same with my college degree. I would say you are crazy that i would go back to finish it, but I did. Credit, a lot, goes to the LDS church. It's the same with therapy - there is no way I would go to a therapist but I decided I wanted to and I could trust the Church so I went to an LDS therapist, and he helped. Now I'm

seeing another therapist. Not for a million years would I have had the guts to see a therapist but I am.

Edited April 23, 2010 by HoosierGuy
spelling

[dizzysmiles]

Have your standards set so when temptation arises you already know what you are going to do. YOU Chose free agency, god isn't a genie and he isn't going to give us all we wish for, he also isn't Zeus and going to throw a lightning Rod at you for sinning. Good people die in bad ways, because who knows that's just how it happens. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people and visa versa. The real terror is the harm you do to yourself and your savior and all around. Trust me I have created so much harm lately that it's hard to get out of my mess. All I can think of are the words to the song " KEep my commandments in this there is SAFTEY and PEACE." I never thought of the saftey, but after my issues man oh man there is saftey in keeping them. Take care, and help is there if you need it, but most of all YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

[hawaiifly]

If you cannot overcome your addiction by yourself but believe that you can by paying for some programme are you" excersing faith unto repentance" and are you allowing the savior to fufill his mission and calling as the great phisician and cleanse you and make you holy and worthy to stand is in presence.

These are two questions I am asking myself I am not chastening you in your efforts to be free from your addiction I commend you for doing all that you can do. But freedom comes with a price that price is obedience to God the Savior said "I am the way, the truth and the Life do man cometh unto the father but by me- the thruth will set you free"

Wormwood,

I really appreciate your testimony. I know that you will find a way free. I would also like to refer you and others to Elder Oak's recent talk.

Healing the Sick

He quotes Brigham Young: "That is very inconsistent according to my faith. If we are sick, and ask the Lord to heal us, and to do all for us that is necessary to be done, according to my understanding of the Gospel of salvation, I might as well ask the Lord to cause my wheat and corn to grow, without my plowing the ground and casting in the seed. It appears consistent to me to apply every remedy that comes within the range of my knowledge, and [then] to ask my Father in Heaven . . . to sanctify that application to the healing of my body."

I know addictions and sickness are different. But, most of the time addictions cannot be overcome by yourself. They will almost always require help from your Bishop. And often times they require help from a professional counselor. I don't see any difference in a professional counselor and an online program that provides the same counsel, other than the counselor might be able to adapt his program to your specific needs better.

Let me be clear, Christ is the only person who can really cleanse you from sin (ie addiction). However, he also has given us a modern look into how the brain becomes addicted, and some insight that helps us overcome that addiction. All the counselor or the program will do, is help guide you to find the healing power that only Christ can give you.

The only recommendation I can give, is to get the help you need, and don't think that paying some online program, or paying a counselor, would be "cheating" you chance to come to Christ. If anything they will give you advice on how to depend on him more, so you can break free from your addiction. Both Candeo and InnerGold are faith based, and require you to come to Christ in order for them to work.

I hope any addict reading this will have an open, honest and sincere prayer to ask Christ what help they need to get. If he tells you to get the professional help you need, than do it.

[HoosierGuy]

That's the thing I'm learning - I am alone. My dad didn't love me. My brothers and sisters, who I thought replaced my dad, did not actually replace him nor did they provide the kind of friends I needed in my teen years, and my mom, who was an angel on this earth, she loved me with all her heart and gave me all that I wanted, but still I wish she would have handled me differently. So yes, I'm all alone. It's up to me me me. And all this time I blamed my hatred I held for so long on the kids I went to school with for not letting me into their social clicks. I'm sure I can put some blame on them, but now I'm wondering if a lot of blame for my low self esteem should be put on my family.

I'm just torturing myself anyway. I already know the road I'm going down. I would be nuts not to go down that road. Pretty girl, dancing, downtown Indy Saturday night, spring time, what more could I want?

I might be making more progress tho. I read the book Rules of the Game and one thing it says to do is to go to a shopping mall and pick someone out of the blue and ask for help - "Does this blue shirt look good on me? Can you suggest a store with nice ties?" etc.. I did that today at the mall while I was looking for a birthday present for the girl I'm going out with. I also have been wearing a North Face sweater I have that I didn't like to wear because the color looked sort of feminine. I don't care tho. I like it so Iv'e been wearing it because it pleases me. For so long I would not wear it because I cared what others thought. I have to stop doing that.

[Elgama]

not sure why dating this girl downtown on Indy night requires you to break any gospel standards am I missing something?

[HoosierGuy]

No, it doesn't require any breaking of gospel standards. She has high moral values. Higher than mine. I just want to take her out and show her a good time. She's recently divorced and has kids, low paying job. It's her birthday weekend.

Edited April 24, 2010 by HoosierGuy
Wrong to say what I did.

[lost123]

HoosierGuy,

It sounds like Satan would that he would have you. You know what is right but are flirting with temptation. Your ability to discern right from wrong will become more clouded as you walk down that path. The common result is justification for your actions or declaration that you are not cut out for the gospel or that religion is just an organization that sets a bunch of rules. What harm can there be when there are two consenting adults? My actions only affect me. The feeling of loneliness and abandonment justify such actions. All are Satan's tactics.

He is the master of deceit. He would have you believe that there is no God, if that will work. He will have you believe that you are not cut out for the gospel, if that will work. He will have you believe that you are too far gone down a path to return, if that will work. He will have you believe that you can repent later, if that will work. He will have you believe that you deserve to find companionship in worldly ways, if that will work. He will have you believe whatever he can so that you will become as he is. Oh...he is good at what he does. When opportunity passes our way to sin and our resolve is dimmed, that is when Satan steps in. Doing the right thing seems fruitless to this point so why not tamper with sin? Selfishness and lack of self discipline sets in. Often times, at that time, our faith is weak and our spiritual nourishment is low.

So....what to do? The choice, of course, is yours. As far taking this girl out to have a good time is not the issue. The issue is the mindset of knowing that you are weak and vulnerable to sin. It sounds as though you have purposely chosen the venue knowing that where you are going is a place of weakness. You, yourself, have set off the alarms. Have courage to do the right thing. You can do it. Take courage, you are a good person who is running into temptation. Be strong. The way back now is easier than down the road. Repentance now is much easier than repentance later.

Remedies for selfishness....is doing just the opposite....service to others....and being grateful. Start with counting your blessings and then seek to serve. Start there.

As for taking out the girl. Remember, she is recently divorced and has kids and a low paying job. She wants someone to treat her the way the Savior would. That is the best birthday gift you could give her. Her values are higher than yours? Don't let her vulnerabilities and your vulnerabilities lower the bar. She deserves that...as do you.

I am currently undergoing the process of repentance. The hardest part is having a truly repentant heart and feeling the weight and magnitude of what I have done. Spiritually feeding myself feels impossible. But I must stop making excuses and turn. Consistency is key. Positivity is essential. Those are two things I can have control over. Satan would have that I am inconsistent and negative.

Have courage. You will be glad for it.

A good talk that was suggested to me (even on this site) was from a Women's Week talk (2007) by Brad Wilcox's daughter and himself. Go to the thread "Is there any support system in repenting" and it is one of the posts there.

Best of choices to you. Choose the right. "There is safety in righteous doing."

[HoosierGuy]

My date canceled me. She said she was up all night sick. She called me last night saying she was ready for Saturday night but emailed this morning saying she could not go out and would like to reschedule because she got sick from something she ate Friday evening.

I'm ticked. I'm upset. And I'm almost done with your God who you call Heavenly Father. If this is His plan for me then I reject it completely. I can clearly see he wants nothing to do with me.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

This is my favourite verse, I came back to the thread because something about seeing obedience to the Lord as 'a price' bothers me, it doesn't sit right,

I absolutely love that. We used to sing it in the school choir.

[lost123]

Hoosier Guy,

Um....may I make a few suggestions.

1. Relax.

2. Stop reading into everything as rejection. Have you heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? Well then...for crying out loud....think positively and you will find better outcomes.

3. If it is dating life that you are lacking and frustrated about, then ask those questions so people can help you.

4. The poor date you had wants to reschedule. That is not rejection. If she wasn't sick herself, she may have had a child that was having a complete melt-down and couldn't leave that child. Give her the benefit of the doubt. If you doubt it she WILL definitely not go out with you....and, in my opinion, shouldn't.

5. Is there any sin you haven't repented of or should see a priesthood authority about? If so, go to your bishop. It may help you start on the road of stopping beating yourself up and feel some sense of hope. It will also help you be more in tune.

6. Any time you have a negative thought, STOP! Replace it with a positive

7. Your happiness is not dependent on other people or even what happens to you. It is all dependent on how you choose to feel about things. Look at things for what they are: positive. For every glass that is half empty, it is also half full. You can either look towards the light or face the darkness....it is up to you...a choice.

8. Last but not least...read your scriptures. If you read for at least 20 minutes every day consistently and without giving up...after 2 weeks you will start feeling lighter and happier and more in tune.

MY BEST TO YOU.

[HoosierGuy]

Hoosier Guy,

7. Your happiness is not dependent on other people or even what happens to you.

Yes, my happiness is dependent on other people until the therapist can show me how to change that.

I just go an email form a girl I met on eharmony last year, a long time ago. I hardly remember her. I get an email today saying - Hi, I'm so sorry I have not emailed you so long. I'm not good at communicated. I understand if you don't want to talk but if you want, please email."

I think I remember her. I keep getting emails from girls who I met on eharmony months ago and just decide to write.

I was so ticked off I was going to drive all the way to St. Louse and gamble my money away or go to the mall and get my ear pierced. I'm still going to the LDS church tomorrow upset and ticked tho.

[lost123]

Hoosier Guy,

You have issues. The first one being that you are so blind to your blessings that you throw them away. You sound as though you have a deep need to be needed and loved. We all do. The way in which you are going about it is dreadfully damaging. Think the best of others, give people the benefit of the doubt, be responsible and kind, and though you will get rejection, get hurt, and may continue in singleness....if you continue to be consistent in your love for people...you will find that you will have the greater blessings...and in the end...what you desire most. Gamble it away, be rebellious, etc. and you will find yourself no better off than where you are now. I guarantee it.

No...you are deceived. Your happiness is not dependent on other people. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to be grateful. This doesn't mean that you will go without feeling hurt or betrayed...but you can choose to let it destroy you or to teach you that we must rely on the Lord for all things. He is not punishing you or giving you these trials. He allows us to be tried so that we can and will turn our will completely to him. Anger that is left to marinate will destroy the spirit.

How stinking lucky you are to have these girls email you. Yet...once again you see it as a negative. Throwing away your blessings once again. When you decide to see things positively is when you will begin to accept your blessings. Your therapist can't accept your blessings for you. You have to do that yourself.

[HoosierGuy]

I bought her gourmet cookies from the mall for her birthday - seventeen dollars worth of gourmet cookies. Another reason I wanted to make the visit - give her a little present.