Grandparent perspective wanted.Taking in an "elderly" parent,

[hordak]

My wife has an unaccompanied tour to Korea coming up (she goes there for a year while the family stays here) and my father has offered to come stay with me to help out.

I don't need the help (this isn't the first time i have played "single parent" and it will not be the last, it is part of the job) but it would be much appreciated.

Logistically it is a bit of a problem for him. He will have to leave his job and network of family/friends and try to find employment and start fresh here with no network. (everyone we know works for the gov) The issue is compounded by the fact when my wife gets back next year we will be moving to Japan so he will have no support in the area when we leave, except what he has made in his year here.

At the same time since we are a military family and have never been in real close proximity he only gets to see the grand kids once or twice a year and this would be a great opportunity for them to get to know each other better.

For me it is really no skin off my nose, provided i can say "go to your room" to him if he gets on my nerves (ah the irony) but for him it is a huge risk. I have mentioned the risks, when he brought up the idea and he pretty much blew them off. If he is doing it for me i don't want him to take the risk but if for himself and grand kids then i'm all for it. Problem is with his personality i really can't get a straight answer. (He would do, and has done, anything for his kids including risking/ damaging his own financial security)

So my question for grandparents is would you give up your job, to move closer and spend more time with grand kids you rarely get to see and probably will not for the next 4 years.

(Trying to determine if it is for him as a grandfather, or me as a son)

[applepansy]

Yes, I would. Have you thought that maybe its for your children?

Edit: One of the best years we've ever had as a family, was the year my grandmother (my children's great grandmother) lived with us. My children are the only great grandchildren who know her and only because she lived with us. It was a great experience for her and for them. I wouldn't give back the blessings we received by having her with us for anything in the world. :)

Edited July 6, 2010 by applepansy
addtion

[Moksha]

Would your father be leaving a long standing job and would he have a place to return to after that year? How old is your father?

[pam]

Let me ask this. Do you live in military housing and would they allow someone to stay there with you for a year? I remember military housing I lived in there was a 6 month limit.

[hordak]

Would your father be leaving a long standing job and would he have a place to return to after that year? How old is your father?

No.

55

[Guest Alana]

I'm no grandparent. I would say that doing something like that would be very stressful for some people, and no big deal for others. If he doesn't like the social network that he's established in the area after a year, he could always move back to where he's from now. Moving is kind of a big deal and kind of not. If it was me, I'd totally be up to the adventure and the getting to know the kids better.

[Moksha]

No.

Without a place to return to, it sounds like a foolish move.

[zippy_do46]

Have you asked him why he would make a move like this? Maybe this year is worth the trouble, if he knows he will not see them for 4 years. I know I would be willing to do this if my grandbabies were going to be gone for 4 years.