How do you accept something and move on?

[CommanderSouth]

In this case, the restored gospel.

I believe I have a testimony, I know the things I have felt in relationship to the gospel. But as the need for faith would have it, the nature of how one of my strongest testimony building blocks came about still leaves me to think it is possible what I felt was not the spirit.

One thing I always find myself doing is being critical and hyper analyzing everything said by apostles, and by people in the church, and also doing the same thing when reading the Book of Mormon. It seems I am always trying to fault find.

I sincerely wish I could accept the church, and just move on, but it always seems like I am digging up the seed talked about in Alma 32...

Thoughts?

and Thanks!

[FunkyTown]

You are facing what I call 'The Wall'.

Many converts face it. Between 1-5 years, converts face crises of faith. It's not that they don't know it's true any more, it's that the feelings that they felt - Those intense, powerful feelings that led to their baptism - Aren't being maintained. You start to feel first edgy at church, like you're not getting anything out of it. Then you start to pick apart the things you know are true.

The first thing to realize is that you're doing it.

Do you recognize your own frustration in your actions? Do you recognize why you're doing what you're doing?

In this case, the restored gospel.

I believe I have a testimony, I know the things I have felt in relationship to the gospel. But as the need for faith would have it, the nature of how one of my strongest testimony building blocks came about still leaves me to think it is possible what I felt was not the spirit.

One thing I always find myself doing is being critical and hyper analyzing everything said by apostles, and by people in the church, and also doing the same thing when reading the Book of Mormon. It seems I am always trying to fault find.

I sincerely wish I could accept the church, and just move on, but it always seems like I am digging up the seed talked about in Alma 32...

Thoughts?

and Thanks!

[Traveler]

In this case, the restored gospel.

I believe I have a testimony, I know the things I have felt in relationship to the gospel. But as the need for faith would have it, the nature of how one of my strongest testimony building blocks came about still leaves me to think it is possible what I felt was not the spirit.

One thing I always find myself doing is being critical and hyper analyzing everything said by apostles, and by people in the church, and also doing the same thing when reading the Book of Mormon. It seems I am always trying to fault find.

I sincerely wish I could accept the church, and just move on, but it always seems like I am digging up the seed talked about in Alma 32...

Thoughts?

and Thanks!

Become more involved in the service of others.

The Traveler

[Moksha]

First, take a deep breath...

Then let your anxieties melt way.

Life goes on without needing an exact understanding or significant decision that may lead you down a blind alley, only to find yourself at the final wall.

Do not ask, "what is it?". Simply go and make a visit. Have faith the universe is unfolding as it should.

[Maya]

Try not to be critical. Everyone has the right to their own opinions even the leaders of the Church. Let go and live your life as a believing member, find joy in books... for me defending the faith helped me, many go astray if they try that, for me it was good.

You know you had those feelings even though you doubt now. Decide not to doubt yopurself. Study.

[jayanna]

Okay, I know exactly what you mean. One time as a new member I wandered onto an anti site. I did not realize that was what it was at first and read some things that really effected me.

I was in a little bit of a panic. It seemed so reasonable. I had changed my whole life...could it all possibly be based on a lie? Had I imagined all the miracles and influences of the Holy Ghost that I had experienced?

I got down on my knees and poured out my heart to the Lord. I told Him what I had read, my doubts, and my sincere wish to simply know the truth. He answered, just like He always has. You are not now, nor have you ever been alone.

Even Jesus was tempted to doubt. The first temptation Satan presented Him was not to simply break His fast, it was questioning His divinity..."IF you are the Son of God..." He tried to make the Savior question His own identity...he will try to make you question yours too.

Jesus answered with scripture, simple scripture, not pages and pages, just one sentence.

Pray, study, pray some more, fast...that's what Jesus did.

[Maya]

If you have a problem with Antistuff you can PM me.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I've had to find reasons other than standard reasons for living the gospel. After 25 years, parts of it have become monotonous and sometimes annoying for me. Often the standard answers you hear no longer seem satisfying or compelling as they once were.

I've had to make a adjustments to my way of thinking about the Church to maintain activity, particularly after 3 different trials of faith during my 25 years in the Church. I make these adjustments because I can't deny the testimony I had given to me through prayer when I first investigated the Church.

For example, I wear a white shirt now because I consider it the price of being a member of the LDS community and enjoying the benefits. I do it out of respect, as I would respect the customs of a foreign country or a different Church. Also, young men leaders put a lot of work into training the young men to dress that way, so I don't want to dilute their work. I personally believe a neat, presentable appearance is all that is needed when officiating in certain priesthood ordinances, and you can be neat and presentable in a blue shirt. However, the culture suggests otherwise, and out of respect for the YM leaders and the culture, I wear one now. I don't do it out of obedience, because it's necessarily the right way to represent the Lord, etcetera, I do it for other reasons that are meaningful for me.

In terms of criticizing others -- been there. It dawned on me that the interpersonal problems I've experienced, or recognition of deficiencies in leaders would probably exist in other Churches. My father experienced them in his Church when I was growing up in it (a non-LDS Christian Church). So, you're likely to find warts on people and similar experiences there.

Regarding leaders -- if you believe they honestly think they are doing the right thing most of the time, that they are imperfect just like prophets past (like Moses, who was shut out of the promised land for his error), and that ultimately, the choice is yours just how much you are going to take literally, it becomes easier to accept them. Also, I believe that we as a Church are somewhat bound by tradition in many ways, and this helps me accept doctrine that seems outdated.

Blind obedience no longer speaks to me, although I will often engage in it out of respect and charity toward the people above me.

I also think adopting an attitude of charity toward leaders and people you might think critically about helps mitigate the bothersome feelings of criticism you might have about the issues you described in your opening post. You can do the things our Church often asks, but for different reasons than the ones given in Church each Sunday -- I do it all the time, without necessarily accepting the standard reasons for it.