Help! I am losing it.

[lost123]

I don't know what to do. I am struggling at work and may lose my job. I am struggling at church to feel the spirit. I have worked repenting of morality issues involving a boyfriend but have found spiritual support very difficult. I am struggling with feeling bonded to anyone including my family. It all isn't because I don't work hard and don't try. It is just a cut-throat world and everyone is too busy to help or to maintain family relationships. They don't intend to but that is the world we live in today. I am wondering if the Lord has forgotten about me and finding it difficult to understand why has it been so difficult to get support. I don't know how to get support. I am tired out. I feel very lost and am not feeling encouraged by the future. What would you do?

[pam]

Did you try any of the advice you have received earlier?

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/31335-there-any-support-system-repenting.html

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/32109-what-do-when-we-fall-back-whats-next-step.html

[lost123]

Did you try any of the advice you have received earlier?

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/31335-there-any-support-system-repenting.html

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/32109-what-do-when-we-fall-back-whats-next-step.html

Yes, good question. I have and have done quite well to do so. Still, feel completely abandoned. Either something is working against me or that there is no power above to help me or wants to help me.

Edited September 6, 2010 by lost123
addition

[jayanna]

There is a pattern that I think you should be aware of. This pattern is found throughout the scriptures.

You get a litte bit of communication with the Lord, usually on your part, then a test comes, if you pass the trial, you are given blessings beyond measure.

Some examples of this are:

Joseph Smith praying to Heavenly Father in the Sacred Grove, he sought assistance, the adversary came and tried to overwhelm him, he called out for more help, and was answered by the Father and the Son.

Hannah in 1 Sam. poor Hannah you should read about her. She felt unloved by the Lord. She went to the temple and prayed, and a priest, her priest, accused her of being drunk! She could have been offended and given up, but she forgave him, and explained her plight. He answered her by saying her desire would be fulfilled. She was finally granted that son she wanted, as well as other children. Her son became the prophet Samuel, who found David.

David was a boy tending his father's sheep. A bear and a lion came to eat the sheep. David wrestled and killed them! He was then sent to face the giant Goliath when the bravest men in the army were afraid. He faced that giant with the Lord's help, and later became King!

Okay, this next one is my own trial.

As an investigator I began reading the Book of Mormon, it started out great. I got to 2 Ne. Big, big challenge for me (and others I hear) I did manage to plough through it, and what great treasures I have found in the rest of the book! How I cried when I got to third Nephi that first time!!!

Those He loves, He chastises! Prove to the adversary who's side you are on...win this battle so that you can join in on the war! Step up to your Goliath and declare that your God is bigger than him! Be bonded to the Lord, for He is mighty, and will not desert you in your time of need!

[slamjet]

Yes, good question. I have and have done quite well to do so. Still, feel completely abandoned. Either something is working against me or that there is no power above to help me or wants to help me.

Ok, whenever I hear that, my first question is: "Do you think that you are so hated in heaven and have done so much sin, more than the next person that you would be specifically excluded from any prayers or blessings or answers?" I think not.

Blessings and answers do not come to anyone except by a trial by faith. And it is within that trial that we need to learn to ... listen ... I can assure you that there are plenty of folks looking at you (and I'm not going to say from above because they are here with us) painfully aware of your circumstance and what you are going through. The comfort and answer will not come until we all get on our knees and give our Father In Heaven the ONE thing he cannot take from us, nor can he control. Our free will. Once we begin to pray and ask "what is it that you will want me to do today" and "thy will be done" and "to thee I turn my will over to" and, I think most important, "please take away the want to do sins" or" please take away this ache and hurt from my heart" and begin to listen we will never know what peace he can give to us. Yes, what happened to King Lamoni can happen to anyone on this earth, I promise, I guarantee.

I worked with a lot of really messed up folks, including myself. I can assure you that yes, you are in pain and yes, he is more than waiting to take it away from you. In my mind he's like a wound up spring, waiting for the right time and situation and then BOOM, he pours it out on us. He LOVES you. I promise that you cannot do anything to change that. He is waiting for us to learn to love him back my giving him that precious gift of free will and trust. He will never do anything with it to hurt us. He only wants us back.

Patience, prayer, scripture, church, listen, learn and ask. It is that simple. We just need to do it.

[MormonMama]

It is just a cut-throat world and everyone is too busy to help or to maintain family relationships. They don't intend to but that is the world we live in today.

I just cannot agree with this at all. My family is not like that. DH's family is not like that. I know MANY other families that are not like that. It sounds like there might be some deeper issues in your family that you can't blame on the world.

[lost123]

I just cannot agree with this at all. My family is not like that. DH's family is not like that. I know MANY other families that are not like that. It sounds like there might be some deeper issues in your family that you can't blame on the world.

You are very lucky then. That is the way families should be. Ours was once like that but as other gained their own family and children their pressures are different now and their time is absorbed with work and their own children. The pressures of the world are creating priorities of the family to be shifted where maintaining relationships become less of a priority due to the crowding in of other less important but dominant pressures. I think you will find this more common than you think.

[Maya]

Want the cold truth? Yiou get it anyway: No matter how may good friends, family ect you have in your life you are alone! When it comes to the most important things in your life you are alone! Not even a spouse helps!

What you need to do is to make a decition about HOW you want your life... no matter what. A long time ago I decided taht I will attend the Church, I will do what ever asked in the Church and I will do everythig possible to maintain my faith. That is the thing that matters to me most. My faith is something no one can take away from me unless I allow it.. everything else dissapears, cahanges... and I will not allow it.

I lost my family, friends, jobb, fortune... but those I can always find new ones to... but if I loose my faith I have lost everything. That is why I do a few things that have somethig to do with my faith. I have found out how to strengthen my faith... find out how to strengthen your faith ... then you will never be alone as the angles will carry you over the hardships.

You may find your strength in serving, or in reading scriptures, or writting about your belief or trying to find Gods hand in everything or defending the LDS faith against the critics (might be dangerous to some, not to me), reading about the Church ... early Church...

Be strong!

[ConquestT4]

Do you feel like you are struggling with maintaining faith in God? Faith that He is there, that He loves you and that He wants to help you. All will be for your good. I promise you will see that if you only endure and work to continue strengthening your faith. God loves you. He loves you enough to let you suffer when you make mistakes. Ive suffered for my fair share of mistakes. I think all of us know what its like to feel lost and abandoned. Alone....

But the faith necesary to get out of that hole is shown through daily scripture study, concious rightous decisions, work, sincere prayer, loving others and loving ourself. Above all loving God and a having a strong desire to serve Him.

Something that has struck me recently is that ingratitude is maybe a much stronger sin than we think. We know it and have heard it but the Lord loves us so much. I dont always understand that or how.... its not in our nature to think that way. But as we feel the "peace that passes all understanding" it become clear. Spiritual knowledge.

Dont give up. Dont blame the world. Accept the worlds inperfections. Accept your imperfections and your mistakes. We are here to mold ourselves and work out those imperfections. They are your obsticals in your life. Your test. God wants you to succeed and has given you the tools, talents and resources to accomplish His will.

The fact that you posted this shows that you dont want to be in this situation. You desire to be better. That is the Spirit working in you. Take responsibility and take control of the situation. Great blessings await. Arent you anxious to find out what they are?

[lost123]

My very biggest thanks to all of you who posted. What I have read is what is needed. There is a sense of peace and gratitude I feel now that I haven't felt for a very long time. Things are still personally tumultuous right now but that peace and encouragement is something that is helping me from losing it. Thank you so very much.

[Melissa569]

I think when the OP said its "a cut-throat world", she didn't mean that ALL families and people are like that. I think she means that because this world is not perfect, plenty of such families DO exist all around us, and hers is one of them.

I would say my family is half and half, MAJOR extremes-- half of us are just decent people who really love and care for each other and are trying to make it in this world. The other half are truly lost and empty souls, who struggle with addiction and trouble with the law, and are horryfyingly dysfunctional. My parents, brothers and sister and I are some of the good ones. But oh lord..... The bad ones will just blow you away! lol.

I really wish that something could save the bad side of my family, before they all end up like my aunt Kathy (who passed away 2 years ago at the age of 37 from drugs, alcohol, and poorly-managed diabetes). They have been through dozens of help cycles, and even prison... Nothing has ever shaken them, or stopped them. nothing has ever made them consider giving up their lifestyle. They've even abandoned their children for it, and are willing to DIE for the sake of continuing to do whatever they please. They just don't care about anything, and nobody can make them.

OP-- in this post, you almost remind me of my mom... Again and again, she bends over backwards, trying to win over the bad side of our family with love and kindness. She has never wanted anything mroe than for all of them to love, support and appreciate her. She does favors for them, helps them, tries to win their approval so she can possibly hear the words "Thank you" or "I love you" come from their mouths... And every single time, she gets her heart shattered when they bluntly tell her that nothing she does will ever be good enough. That she doesn't deserve anybody's love and respect, and they will never be greatful to her for anything. They turn and kick dirt on her face in return, and she cries because she just doesn't understand it.

I always tell her (and I will tell you), "Look, you are a wonderful person, regardless of any mistakes you've made. And never let anybody tell you any different. We are only forgiven as much as we forgive others, so I strongly suggest you pray for the people who look down on you. From time to time, you can reach out to people who are lost. That's what Jesus would want you to do, because it helps to pull people in. But don't expect anything in return. Just hope and pray that one day it will sink in. And don't dwell on it if you don't see any changes. Instead, in addition tot he lost people you reach out to here and there, turn around and give your love, support and devotion to people who appreciate it. And allow them to give it back.

There are people who care... They may not be the specific people you WISH would care (like certain family members). They may be strangers, or church members you don't know too well. But accpet what they offer anyway. Who knows, as a result, you may end up loving them like family one day. Its been said that the closest family members are not even blood related. If you have any family members who are more kind to you, spend more time with them, and less with those who don't seem to care. That's something I wish my mother would do--- She has her children and grand children who just love and adore her. Who would do anything for her! But she obsesses over her mother and her sisters, who do nothing but spit in her face...

Some people you just can't change. And in the end, you have to love yourself enough to remove that negativity from your life, and replace it with good things.

Edited September 12, 2010 by Melissa569

[Dravin]

You are very lucky then. That is the way families should be. Ours was once like that but as other gained their own family and children their pressures are different now and their time is absorbed with work and their own children. The pressures of the world are creating priorities of the family to be shifted where maintaining relationships become less of a priority due to the crowding in of other less important but dominant pressures. I think you will find this more common than you think.

You may want to come up with a different example, what you use as evidence of family as a priority being shifted is people focusing on their families (children). There may be more at work here, but once your siblings or cousins or what have you get married their spouse and children (and providing for them) are a higher priority than you. Now they may be ignoring you which probably shouldn't be happening but you will be knocked down a few rungs on the priority latter and this is not because their priorities are misplaced due to a mixed up crazy world.

The scriptures says for this purpose (marriage) does a man leave father and mother, I don't think it's out of line to mentally insert brother, sister and cousin into there.

[lost123]

One's own immediate family is of first priority. That I agree. Yet a phone call once in a while would be nice, a letter here and there, some financial and/or emotional support to lend to our special needs sibling (from those who have financial means) would be encouraging. That is what I mean.

You may want to come up with a different example, what you use as evidence of family as a priority being shifted is people focusing on their families (children). There may be more at work here, but once your siblings or cousins or what have you get married their spouse and children (and providing for them) are a higher priority than you. Now they may be ignoring you which probably shouldn't be happening but you will be knocked down a few rungs on the priority latter and this is not because their priorities are misplaced due to a mixed up crazy world.

The scriptures says for this purpose (marriage) does a man leave father and mother, I don't think it's out of line to mentally insert brother, sister and cousin into there.