jmcic Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 So i finally moved to utah. i am excited and it is way easier for me to live the gospel. the friends i have here have been so helpful in my move but when we are in a group i feel like i am a third wheel like i dont belong. and the girl that i had gone on a few dates with hardly shows any interest now. am i doing something wrong. am i not doing enough? idk any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John11111 Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 Dont worry about it too much have fun meet other people. Its highly likely the girl you dated isnt interested nothing abnormal about that . What are the odds that you date the one on your 1st try? I know some people become good friends and when new people are introduced they make an effort to be polite but maybe have differing interests it could be they just dont want to be rude so let you stick around. Branch out and meet different people who have the same interests as you. It could also be there is nothing wrong and your worrying needlessly. Your new in a new place so its easy to feel uncomfortable or lost /leftout. Relax and enjoy what life has to offer you will be just fine have fun and worry about yourself and not what other people think! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 Get involved in some of the singles activities, take an institute class. Plenty of ways to meet new people. Now you'll have to join us for our next lds.net get together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 · Hidden Hidden Start being proactive in making contributions to the various communities you belong to. That's one of the best ways of building friendships as you work alongside other people. Look for ways to get involved in contributing tot their aims. From there, you will meet people and really get to know them, and can let relationships blossom. I second the motion about not worrying about the girl who doesn't show much interest in you -- now you know not to invest any more time there. Move on. In preparing for marriage, one marriage counselor I respect said to date at least 30 people before deciding to who to marry. So, you only have 29 more to go! Link to comment
jmcic Posted December 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 thanks guys you are all right. i feel it is deeper then that i have a tendency of stressing out and then letting it ruin my mood and i feel like scratch that i know that it makes my friends feel like i manipulate them and use it as a way to get attention. i have to get the stress monkey off my back but i feel like i stress my friends out more then i am stressed. i have to figure something out i dont want to lose these people they mean the world to me. i have a lot to learn i wish i could be happy about the blessings i have been given. i want to be normal again and not a "party pooper". i just need to figure it all out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 To my way of thinking, the gospel and a social circle are two completely different things. - The gospel is true if your friends are jerks. - The gospel is true if your friends are righteous good people. - The gospel is true if you are a jerk. - The gospel is true if you are a righteous good person. You can change or stay the same, your friends can change or stay the same, and you can change friends or keep your current ones or both. The gospel is still true. LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcic Posted December 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 i konow the Gospel is true. and my friends are the greatest its me who needs the work i am slowly trying to change my perspective and pam let me know when that next get together is and if my car is here from wisconsin by then im in. LM you are right i just dont want my insecurities to push my friends away i need to change not them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 I will for sure let you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 Regardless of where you're coming from or how friendly etc etc you are, sometimes joining a tightly knit circle is tough! I moved from China here to Utah about twelve years ago, and it was super tough fitting into a new area, new school and in with new friends. I always felt like the odd man out. And I was very involved. I participated in our drill team, I attended school events but I still felt awkward. It took a couple of years before I really started to feel like I fit in. So from my experience, it does take time. For some the process is faster and for others it is a lot slower. Best of luck and continue to stay involved in things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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