findingmyway Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 This might come back and bite me. I have friends and family who is in Singles ward. They have activities, volleyball, pie night... etc. Now I am 26, consider myself too old to go to singles ward, but they have volleyball, and food..... I am currently married going through a divorce, but I want to be active, participating, rather than staying at home doing nothing. Divorce is on my mind "24/7" and I find being around people helps me. Most of my family is out of state, and a lot of my friends are non members , whose way of having fun is going to the bar or the club. I wish my family ward does activities. I helped my sister host and set up for the YSA pie night last night. I went because she invited me to go and also because she made Tres Leches..... and Im a sucker for it. After helping her and after people started to show up, I laughed and told myself Im not supposed to be here. I got my tres leches, got some other sweets.... and walked out the door :lol:. Tonight YSA was playing volleyball, and I really wanted to go, AND NO, I am not looking for a replacement wife. (I still love my wife and I'm still stuck on her) I grew up playing sports and enjoyed it. I asked my friend who goes to the ward and he didnt think there was a problem. I was just going to go play, have fun, I'll even talk to noone and keep to myself. I chose not to go though. Thought it might seem inappropriate, wasnt sure but better to be safe. I am not looking to "hook up with anyone" or even participate in Singles ward. How wrong would it have been if I had stayed at pie night and talked to people, or had gone to play volleyball ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I am currently married going through a divorce, but I want to be active, participating, rather than staying at home doing nothing.As far as the Church is concerned you are married until the divorce is final and as such wouldn't be able to be a member of the ward. I don't know how far that extends to activities but I could certainly see someone objecting to a married man on the road to divorce hanging out at a singles activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I understand. I am not trying to go to singles ward, nor all their activities. Im not trying to be single. Far from it. Although if its just for volleyball, I think you're right though.... enough said. My spirit was right. Keep away. I will try to find other activities that seems more appropriate. Our elders quorum is planning the Chilli Cook off that will happen in OCT :lol:. Its far off, but were excited about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 The activities in the Singles Ward are exactly for the Singles to have a chance to fellowship and perhaps meet and marry. You do not belong in that group. I suggest you start something in your own ward/stake, or go to a health club and see if they have volleyball tournaments, racquetball, etc., that you can get involved with. Many members play golf, disc golf, baseball, etc., as well. And where there are no members to do this, there are non-LDS groups that do. There is no reason for you to invade their space. Find something else that works for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 The guys in our ward usually try to start a pick-up basketball game right after scouts (wednesday night). Maybe you can start something like that in your ward too? My husband thinks it's fun, I think it's just an excuse for the guys to get a chance to beat up on each other in their manly-man way and not get in trouble with the bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Yes... I play a lil golf, and some disc golf, basketball sounds fun too, unfortunately most of the folks in the ward are not as athletic. Its not just about the sport and being active, its also about the spiritual aspects of it. Being around people with similar standards and interests, not just on Sundays. Singles activities... not the answer, I will leave em alone.... Now I just sound like the creepy old guy lol. I grew up in an island, full of culture, a stake where theres a lot of activities, even stake dances for entire family, a lot celebrations, a lot of food , and people would get together and mingle. Wards would have campouts at the beach, and in an island.... it was beautiful. Now.... Im not whining, but I do miss that. Anyway , I did receive the answer to my question and also the advice I needed. Thank you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Try to hook up with the Single Adult group in your ward or stake (as in OLD single adults 30 and up) ... many have been married and divorced and are more in line with where you are. Our ward has a very strong SA group we have HE every week and sometimes it gets pretty loud but we have great lessons and way too many goodie. At first I had to force myself to go but now it is a regular on my calendar. We even get the odd couple coming who are empty nesters. In our stake we have our Break the Fast dinner every Fast Sunday where we have a pot luck and then a fireside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 In case anyone is misguided in this, Young Single Adult, Midsingle Adult, and Single Adult activities and wards are only for those who are not legally married. One who is separated and/or in process of divorcing is not to attend any functions until the divorce is final. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 In case anyone is misguided in this, Young Single Adult, Midsingle Adult, and Single Adult activities and wards are only for those who are not legally married. One who is separated and/or in process of divorcing is not to attend any functions until the divorce is final.Basically true ... however, in the church in some places the single member has a bit of a rocky time ... I have been asked how I can feel fulfilled if I am not married ... in our group we welcome the divorcing when it is a given ... this is hard time and a real faith shaker ... they need a shoulder and some fellowship rather than leaving them out in limbo somewhere. his is where they need to be and really with the SA it's not like we are real impressionable at our age. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Basically true ... however, in the church in some places the single member has a bit of a rocky time ... I have been asked how I can feel fulfilled if I am not married ... in our group we welcome the divorcing when it is a given ... this is hard time and a real faith shaker ... they need a shoulder and some fellowship rather than leaving them out in limbo somewhere. his is where they need to be and really with the SA it's not like we are real impressionable at our age. :)No, not basically true. It is church policy.16.1.4 Participation in Single Adult ActivitiesParticipation in single adult activities is limited to single adult members, assigned Church officers, and single adult nonmembers who are willing to abide by Church standards. A person who is separated from his or her spouse or is seeking a divorce may not participate until the divorce decree has become final according to law.Church Handbook of Instructions 16.1.4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madriglace Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 No, not basically true. It is church policy.Church Handbook of Instructions 16.1.4I guess all I can say is I am glad that the senior couple who are our 'advisors' are willing to err on the side of compassion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
findingmyway Posted March 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 I've actually gone before with my wife, just to play volleyball. It was an honest mistake.... and a lot of the people in this particular singles ward were relatives, and we had a lot of fun. I was trying to justify going to a volleyball game, release some stress. But singles ward is for singles and that I am not..... yet. Again , thanks for all the comments and advice. Very helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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