Profanity

[shanan]

I think it's awful when you hear small children choosing to use the bad language that they do. Sadly it's how many children (who grow into parents themselves) have been raised. I myself was raised in a home where swearing was common place, both my parents were and still are athiest. Thankfully the Lord had blessed me with discernment, and I found myself squirming every time I heard such language, yes even my Mother, which didn't help our relationship much.Naturally I never used such language myself.

I still squirm when I hear bad language but now often do something about it! Most of the children on my street have ceased form using bad languge, at least when I'm around. The main thing is that they are aware it is bad. I don't hesitate to scold anyone who uses bad language especially if its in front of my own children. When I say scold I always do it in a nice way so as not to provoke!!

It's really amazing to know that the the general population don't see anything wrong with it.

Even a Grandad (to seven grandchildren) on my road swears every other word or at least used to!

I agree that Media is a big cause but first and foremost I blame the Slanderer [bD Satan].

[Ray]

It is possible to be really mean and cruel to someone while never using a swear word - or even a substitute word. I know that you learned both lessons from this life experience, but I find it interesting that the curse word lesson seems to be the one that's highlighted most.

Okay. Come on, Shannon. Just tell me you love me now.

Don't be cruel... to a heart that's tru HEH ue

[shanan]

So Kind Ray!!

[Ray]

So Kind Ray!!

Oh. Yeah. Well. Uh. Sure. I love you too.

[shanstress70]

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So Kind Ray!!

Oh. Yeah. Well. Uh. Sure. I love you too.

But, you do realize that 'shahan' is no relation to 'shanstress' or 'shannon' (not that I have a user on this board as 'shannon', but I don't make my first name a secret)... right?

And yes, Ray, you're swell when you wanna be!

I myself was raised in a home where swearing was common place, both my parents were and still are athiest.

Does being atheist really have anything to do with their swearing? I work with a few atheists and they don't swear. I know several Christians and a few LDS who swear though. That's a silly generalization.

It's really amazing to know that the the general population don't see anything wrong with it.

Even a Grandad (to seven grandchildren) on my road swears every other word or at least used to!

I agree that Media is a big cause but first and foremost I blame the Slanderer [bD Satan].

Why would Satan have anything to do with swear words, unless they are the blasphemy kind? The word 's-h-i-...' probably didn't even exist until fairly recently. It's just some silly man-made thing that someone came up with and society decided to make it a 'bad word'.

[Palerider]

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So Kind Ray!!

Oh. Yeah. Well. Uh. Sure. I love you too.

But, you do realize that 'shahan' is no relation to 'shanstress' or 'shannon' (not that I have a user on this board as 'shannon', but I don't make my first name a secret)... right?

And yes, Ray, you're swell when you wanna be!

I myself was raised in a home where swearing was common place, both my parents were and still are athiest.

Does being atheist really have anything to do with their swearing? I work with a few atheists and they don't swear. I know several Christians and a few LDS who swear though. That's a silly generalization.

It's really amazing to know that the the general population don't see anything wrong with it.

Even a Grandad (to seven grandchildren) on my road swears every other word or at least used to!

I agree that Media is a big cause but first and foremost I blame the Slanderer [bD Satan].

Why would Satan have anything to do with swear words, unless they are the blasphemy kind? The word 's-h-i-...' probably didn't even exist until fairly recently. It's just some silly man-made thing that someone came up with and society decided to make it a 'bad word'.

and if society did that.....then society is wrong......profanity is wrong......

[Guest ApostleKnight]

I'm just glad this topic was brought up because I've been trying to figure it out for a long time.

I ran across this quote tonight. It was one of those "aha!" moments, since I wasn't researching this thread or profanity. Weird what pops up when you least expect it. This will have more meaning for LDS readers since it's one of our leaders, but the advice is sound and true:

"You may think it is the macho thing to flare up in anger and swear and profane the name of the Lord. It is not the macho thing. It is an indication of weakness. Anger is not an expression of strength. It is an indication of one's inability to control his thoughts, words, his emotions. Of course it is easy to get angry. When the weakness of anger takes over, the strength of reason leaves. Cultivate within yourselves the mighty power of self-discipline."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

First Counselor in the First Presidency

Ensign, Nov. 1991 (pp.49-52, priesthood session)

[Lindy]

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It's part of service to others.... don't judge.

Yes and no. We're supposed to judge actions: right and wrong. We're not supposed to judge someone's standing before God (unless we're a bishop and entitled to judge in Israel). ....... but you don't have to "turn a blind eye" to something you feel is wrong.I understand what you were saying AK...but what if the missionaries judged me by my mouth instead of my heart? Not that it was THAT bad...

I think that there are so many good qualities in people that others may not be able to see because of the few bad ones.... and if we concentrate on the good..... perhaps the bad ones will dissapate because of it.

I guess it really depends on how we feel about the person personally. I still think those who apologize to others for offending them deserve a lot more respect than those who don't even think about what they have done.

And I have a question for all..... isn't a swear word classified as a swear word by the society we live in NOT God himself (other than taking His name in vain). I am just curious as to why seemingly innocent words like dang, shoot, or crumb are insulting to others as a variation of a "big" swear word. If I glance at the Heavens in wonder and exclaim "oh nuggets" is someone going to take that as a variation of a swear word to describe my amazement? Where do we draw the line?

Do we look down at a recovering alcoholic who drinks water or gingerale in the place of the substance they need to avoid? Or the smoker who is trying to quit and chews on toothpicks......which annoys some people?

I say crap or heck or shoot or sometimes even worse....... I dont' think that I am a terrible person for it, and if I offend or annoy others for it ..... I'm sorry. Maybe I'll roast in hell for it. Maybe we all will for the little things we do that annoy or offend others. And maybe the Lord isn't as picky as we are with the little things others do.

Ok, done venting..... carry on

[Guest MrsS]

..but what if the missionaries judged me by my mouth instead of my heart? Not that it was THAT bad...

This is where 'walking with the Spirit of God' comes in with the Missionaries. They are given the gift of discernment ~ 24/7

I think that there are so many good qualities in people that others may not be able to see because of the few bad ones.... and if we concentrate on the good..... perhaps the bad ones will dissapate because of it.

I guess it really depends on how we feel about the person personally. I still think those who apologize to others for offending them deserve a lot more respect than those who don't even think about what they have done.

I agree with you on this one. I once had a neighbor who professed to be a devout "c"atholic. Emphasis on the little c. He went to his church every sunday for one hour, he observed all of the morning rituals. He also did not use the Lord's name in vain.[These are his words of explanation and done in a bragging way] Nope ~ he used other names in vain, with the same wholehearted venom, anger and hatred that the buffoons in the bar were using just before they clouted their drinking buddies on the head with a large glass pitcher! We went round and round about this. That as long as he was interjecting the same venom, anger, hatred and disrespect into what ever word ~ it is the same as if he had used our Lords name. This also answers your question below, some what. As for apologizing for offending someone ~ Apologize once, then don't use the bad language anymore. If you continuely apologize, then you are not truly correcting yourself, and you are not sincere in your apology.

And I have a question for all..... isn't a swear word classified as a swear word by the society we live in NOT God himself (other than taking His name in vain). I am just curious as to why seemingly innocent words like dang, shoot, or crumb are insulting to others as a variation of a "big" swear word. If I glance at the Heavens in wonder and exclaim "oh nuggets" is someone going to take that as a variation of a swear word to describe my amazement? Where do we draw the line?

To me it depends on the situation and the intent. Example: I am in the car with my catholic neighbor ~ we are nearly cut off by an erractic driver ahead of us ~ I exclaim- Watch out ahead ~ I think that poor guy is going to go into the ditch. My neighbor says ~ Well for Ralph's Sake, that BUTTer head is drunk, if he goes into the ditch, he sure as the DICKens deserves it. The tone and inflection and accent on the substitute words he used made it clear that he was cursing and using foul language. He also judged the guy. Jumped to the conclusion that he was drunk. I personally have known too many people who have had severe reactions to medications who have been in terrible accidents.

Do we look down at a recovering alcoholic who drinks water or gingerale in the place of the substance they need to avoid? Or the smoker who is trying to quit and chews on toothpicks......which annoys some people?

I say crap or heck or shoot or sometimes even worse....... I dont' think that I am a terrible person for it, and if I offend or annoy others for it ..... I'm sorry. Maybe I'll roast in hell for it. Maybe we all will for the little things we do that annoy or offend others. And maybe the Lord isn't as picky as we are with the little things others do.

Lindy, personally I believe that it is swearing when you use any word to demean, belittle and disrespect someone or someones actions. By saying Fluff It, take this job and shove it up your pillow! (please insert the filthy words you know go there) Then that is using foul language and swearing. You can just as easily say: I have had enough of this job. It is yours to do ~ I no longer work here.

I can testify that when you stand your ground and do not allow swearing, foul language to be used around you then it will stop. With my neighbor ~ I finally told him that I could no longer be around him, that I could not tolerate his language and his judging of others. I also told him that I felt it was of no use to continually argue with him over what constituted swearing and foul language ~ that for me ~ being around him was like being in constant battle with Satan, and that I was distancing myself from him and his un-Christ-like ways.

He stopped with the language, and with the contention. Nearly a year later ~ he confessed to me, that he really didn't see that Satan had wormed his way into his language and feelings, but it had and he thanked me for standing my ground holding to my values and principles AND for telling him why I was distancing myself. It was a wake up call for him.

[Guest ApostleKnight]

I am just curious as to why seemingly innocent words like dang, shoot, or crumb are insulting to others as a variation of a "big" swear word.

I don't have a problem with most words like shoot or dang or darn. I don't make them the mainstay of my vocabulary, but I don't think people who use them are idiots or something. I probably wouldn't go up to Pres. Hinckley and say, "What the heck is up with the dang abortion rate? I mean shoot! Those flippin' people are out of their minds!"

One personal pet peeve...there's one substitution word I hate more than all others...originating in Utah and/or Idaho...it's "fetch." Aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh! It's such a stupid word! No offense to anyone who uses it in their fetchin' daily lives. See what I mean?

[Lindy]

........To me it depends on the situation and the intent. Example: I am in the car with my catholic neighbor ~ we are nearly cut off by an erractic driver ahead of us ~ I exclaim- Watch out ahead ~ I think that poor guy is going to go into the ditch. My neighbor says ~ Well for Ralph's Sake, that BUTTer head is drunk, if he goes into the ditch, he sure as the DICKens deserves it. The tone and inflection and accent on the substitute words he used made it clear that he was cursing and using foul language.

ROFL.... I had to laugh....cause my grandmother would say dickens...... as in "where the dickens have you been" never in my life had I heard that woman use a cuss word that I can remember. NOW it just seems funny that she could have been substituting dickens for a swear word.

Maybe I should look at the words I use like "airhead" that I might utter when someone is not using their brain correctly when they run a red light. Or "creep".... when I see some guy leering at a couple of 14 year olds. Where do we draw the line? Honestly.

-------------------

don't have a problem with most words like shoot or dang or darn. I don't make them the mainstay of my vocabulary, but I don't think people who use them are idiots or something. I probably wouldn't go up to Pres. Hinckley and say, "What the heck is up with the dang abortion rate? I mean shoot! Those flippin' people are out of their minds!"

One personal pet peeve...there's one substitution word I hate more than all others...originating in Utah and/or Idaho...it's "fetch." Aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!

ROFL again..... thanks for the smile AK :)

I will hereby promise you I will never use "fetch" as a substuite cuss word

[Guest MrsS]

Where do we draw the line? Honestly.

I have often wondered that too Lindy. Where? I guess where it crosses the line between being hurtful and just expressing a thought. Your Grandmother wasn't cussing. You could easily enough substitute the word World, or Heavens. She was not saying it in a derogatory way.

When you use a word and mean for that word to express a derogatory thought or action, then it is foul language. We are so bombarded with seemingly harmless words through tv and the movies. This is Satans all pervasive and subtle way of worming into our lives and pushing the Holy Ghost out.

I try to look at it this way: Do I feel disharmony, discord when I hear it, say it? Does it invite the Holy Ghost or push away the Holy Ghost?

Believe me Lindy, my language before I became active in Church again was really foul, nasty, filthy. I took great pride in the fact that I could out cuss the biggest, nasty-ist, meanest guys in the county. When I became active in Church I had to totally reverse my life. I could no longer associate with those people ~ I really didn't care that they made fun of me, I had to steer clear of them so that I could re-learn how to talk ~ to communicate in a healthy, righteous and clean way.

Had I been an alcoholic no one would have thought me silly or self righteous for no longer frequenting bars, taverns. For giving up the 'friendships' of my drinking buddies (side note: drinking buddies are NOT friends, they are just people in the bar that drink just like you do-did-are). You have to reinvent your life. Associate with Non-drinkers. Same with drugs, porno, and other bad addictions. Swearing and using filthy and foul language is an extremely bad habit. Yes you can substitute ginger ale for the booze, you can substitute carrot sticks for the cigarettes. But when you just substitute a seemingly harmless word for a bad word and not take the anger-hatred-disrespect-disgust out of the meaning behind it, then you are still swearing.

When you call someone an airhead because they are not using the full potental of their brain and you say it in a derogatory way ~ then yes it is swearing.

Actually, why say creep when some guy is leering at 14 year olds? Say how it makes you feel instead. "That guy over there makes me feel creepy by the way he is looking at those 14 year olds. Do you feel it too?"

When someone cuts you off in traffic ~ rather than flip them the bird and call them a Holy Roller. Why don't you say a quick prayer and ask Heavenly Father to protect him. Keep him safe and keep safe all the innocent's around him.

I actually had a guy in a huge SUV try to cut me off the road and when I wouldn't budge he flipped me off. I waggled my fingers at him and gave him the sign and smiled at him. Had I veered off the road I would have crashed into an irrigation ditch. He was actually coming into traffic from a field ~ and going over a curb.

I saw him later at the Wal-Mart parking lot, getting a ticket from our city's finest. He flipped me off again when he saw me. The police officer smacked the top of his hood and wagged his finger at him

Now I could have cursed and sworn at him. I could have laughed at him But that would have just made me worse than him. I have to battle daily to keep satan out of my life as it is, I sure don't need to be doing things like that to fuel satan any more. I threw up a quick prayer and asked that he might learn the lesson that You are trying to teach him.

For one day ~ or for one week, try to keep track of all the seemingly innocent substitute words that are being used around you in not so seemingly innocent ways.

Simply - Basically - is what is being said inviting of the Holy Ghost? If not, then give it up. Steer clear of it. Quit doing it, Quit saying it. Get it out of your life.

[StrawberryFields]

Satan will have you believe that darn, rats, shoot are okay to use. Even the Utah Mormons will have you believe that saying Heck is okay. It isn't. Not when you are saying it with the same foul and disgusting spirit.

As one of those Utah Mormons I grew up saying "OH My Heck". At the time it was used as the phrase "Oh get outta here" or "No WAY" is used today. It was accepted by parents and teachers as well. I didn't know it was purely cultural until moving to California for college.

[shanstress70]

Just another thought on this subject... I know of a really mean lady who would never use a swear word.

She can be mean, judgemental, and insulting with the way she speaks to people. And I know some people who are nice as can be, who happen to throw in a swear word now and then. One guy in particular is so awesome, and would do anything for you. I'd MUCH rather hang out with him then the woman who never curses, but makes you feel bad.

[StrawberryFields]

Just another thought on this subject... I know of a really mean lady who would never use a swear word.

She can be mean, judgemental, and insulting with the way she speaks to people. And I know some people who are nice as can be, who happen to throw in a swear word now and then. One guy in particular is so awesome, and would do anything for you. I'd MUCH rather hang out with him then the woman who never curses, but makes you feel bad.

Good point Shanstress!

I have heard of "cussing bishops" in different parts of the country. I think that Mrs S is right when she said that profanity makes in look as if they have a limited vocabulary (or something like that).

[wolfjingles]

i dont know if i should really add this to what has been said. I used to swear a lot and i mean ALOT. still some days i slip and still say things that i should not. What got me to realise that my language was part of the problem was that i was sitting there one day and when to get my causing from school. walking home a car ran a red light and almost hit me and my 5 year old causin so i yelled at the driver to f off basically then when we got home my causin walked in the kitchen and repeated it to his mother. That is when i realised that mabe the language was inapropriate and really i did not need to use it to get my point accross. Now i make a consious effort to cut the language when i am mad it still slips once in a while but not as much as it did. I mean the only way we are going to kill the language is if it is not used around our children so they will not use it

[pushka]

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Satan will have you believe that darn, rats, shoot are okay to use. Even the Utah Mormons will have you believe that saying Heck is okay. It isn't. Not when you are saying it with the same foul and disgusting spirit.

As one of those Utah Mormons I grew up saying "OH My Heck". At the time it was used as the phrase "Oh get outta here" or "No WAY" is used today. It was accepted by parents and teachers as well. I didn't know it was purely cultural until moving to California for college.

SF, I wonder if the Utah Mormons are descendent from the Lancashire or Yorkshire Mormons who travelled to the USA?

The older people in these districts of the UK do tend to use phrases such as 'Oh 'eck!' 'Can you 'eckerslike' and what not a great deal.

Wolfjingles, I agree with you regarding swearing around children, I've heard children as young as 3 or 4 copying parents, siblings and friends' of same swearing, and it's really terrible. Never fails to shock me. I don't tend to swear very often, in fact people notice that about me, but I do tend to say 'oh shoot!' if I stub my toe, occasionally if it really hurts and shocks me the proper word slips out, and even the F word occasionally...but I don't use it in everyday conversation and don't really like to hear women use it...I admit it, I'm a bit of a sexist when it comes to bad language!!!

[StrawberryFields]

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Satan will have you believe that darn, rats, shoot are okay to use. Even the Utah Mormons will have you believe that saying Heck is okay. It isn't. Not when you are saying it with the same foul and disgusting spirit.

As one of those Utah Mormons I grew up saying "OH My Heck". At the time it was used as the phrase "Oh get outta here" or "No WAY" is used today. It was accepted by parents and teachers as well. I didn't know it was purely cultural until moving to California for college.

SF, I wonder if the Utah Mormons are descendent from the Lancashire or Yorkshire Mormons who travelled to the USA?

The older people in these districts of the UK do tend to use phrases such as 'Oh 'eck!' 'Can you 'eckerslike' and what not a great deal.

Could be.

[Guest bizabra]

Actually, I don't like swearing, and though i do it now and then, i don't think it's fine. I go through a lot of harassment from my friends cause i don't swear like they do, but i'm not changing any time soon. My point is that it's the spirit that needs to change not the word usage. My saying a common swear word when I'm frustrated, or using Crap as a fill in for the exact same situation in the exact same tone and spirit really has no difference in my eyes.

AS a relevance to the original question, if this woman doesn't like his swearing, but uses "replacment" words with the same frustration and negative spirit, then is his swearing really a problem. I take crap and the rest of the "soft" curse words as offensive as the hard core, cause they mean the same thing and are used in the same way.

You can accept them as okay, just like some people accept the F word as just another word, but it doesn't really change what they are, it just makes people feel a lil better.

BIZ: What if I say "criminy" in the same "tone or spirit" as if I was saying a BAD WORD? Would that be as offensive to you? Should people NOT vocalize their irritation, annoyance, or frustration, no matter what word they use? Or should they simply go ahead and use the most emphatic word they can, since it really makes no difference (in your opinion), as the intent is the same if they were to explode with "golly gee" instead?

I don't get what you mean here. Should people not soft pedal it by using a softer word? Or should they not feel the feeling or express it verbally? eh?

[Guest MrsS]

In my opinion if you are using a "soft" word in the same tone and manner as you would a "hard" word, then you are turning that "soft" word into a "hard".

Should people NOT vocalize their irritation, annoyance, or frustration, no matter what word they use?

I am going to move two words around here and change the punctuatuin if I may, Bizabra, then answer. people should NOT vocalize their irritation, annoyance, or frustration, no matter what word they use. ~ You are on the right track here. They should NOT vocalize. STOP- take a deep breath - search for the Holy Ghost, bring Him real close to you and BANISH the irriation, annoyance, frustration from you. Seek to find what caused it and correct it. Do Not Vocalize it.

Again I am going to rearrange a few words -

People should not soft pedal it by using a softer word. <strike>Or</strike> They should not feel the feeling or express it verbally.

We should strive to keep the Holy Ghost within ourselves at all times, and this just is not possible when we are allowing anger, irritation, frustration to "Color" our thoughts and words. I am not saying that anger, irritation and frustration are bad, i.e. evil. But when we allow it to turn our words into venomous hurtful barbs and daggers, then they become evil.

Practice in you mind saying I love you with the same venom and anger as one would say Go To Hades. Make your face as ugly and repulsive as you can, curl that upper lip, snarl, clench your teeth together and when you say it, don't even think Love ~ think Hatred, Death, Disrespect, and anyother negative, nasty thing you can conger up. Now ~ you know what just happened don't you? The Holy Ghost just departed from you.

What ever words you use, if the spirit departs from you because the intent you use behind the words is not loving and giving, then you must put an end to the intent behind the words.

Soulsearcher said: My point is that it's the spirit that needs to change not the word usage.

<div align="center">Absolutely, Yes, Right On</div>

[Dror]

I was wondering if anyone here can help me with a small delema I am having. I have been going out with this guy for almost a year and I really like him but one thing bugs me, I know he swears. Almost never around me (small things slip occasionaly) but I know he does it around his friends and thinks there is nothing wrong with it or actually more like doesn't think it is wrong enough to change. For me, I have been a member all my life surrounded by member family and friends and swearing and profanity have always been a big no, no. He has been a member since he was 7, and is a great guy over all, but his family and friends are not. Most of the youth at church are in the same predicament as well, but he tries harder than most, for me. Since moving here, I am pretty sure I have been a big influence on him, he is trying a lot harder to be "temple worthy". For a long time I really wanted to believe he didn't say such things, then when he slipped and said a few really little common ones, I thought, or hoped he only said those things. I know his friends use the REALLY bad language (I hope you understand the diffenece between little and REALLY bad, I am not sure how to explain), but I hoped he didn't follow, I wanted him to be better than that. But the other day, he let a REALLY bad one slip. He apologized, but I just wanted to cry. Am I overreacting? Should I talk to him about the importance of clean language? The longer I go I start to doubt myself and start rationalizing why it is OK. What do I say? I don't know, it sure seems to be much ado over nothing but I could sure use your advice. Thanks

Ferki, that's a difficult situation to be in. I grew up LDS, and very seldom swore. That is, not until I was in my 30s, when I started having a large amount of contact with people who use lots of foul language. I hate to say it, but it had an impact on me--when around others who swear, it's harder to refrain from swearing myself. I have retained enough discipline not to swear around other people, but when I'm alone...

The reason I tell you this is by way of warning: if you hang around others who swear, you will be more likely to. The good news is, if people who swear hang around you, and you continue not to swear, and let them know you don't want them to, and why, you can influence them, too, for the good!

The fact somebody swears doesn't make him a bad person, as you know. It just means they lack discipline, for both their tongue and their emotions. I would suggest talking with you boyfriend about this problem, in a kindly manner. Explain to him why you find his language offensive, and why you think he'd be better off if he learns to control his language. If he doesn't know how you feel, he probably won't change. If he cares enough about you, he will at least make an effort. He may not completely change overnight--it could take a while, because habits die hard--but he can change, and your words of encouragement can help.

I used to swear more than I do now, largely because I have better control over my emotions now. I had to learn certain skills, and they help. I really despise it when people swear in order to be funny or sound tough. I don't despise the people who do it, just the action. When I hear somebody swearing to be funny, I wonder if they really don't know how to be funny, and use that as a crutch. Those who do it to sound tough make me wonder if they feel insecure. When I swear, it may be because my emotions are out of control, or I don't know how to express them appropriately, or well enough.

So, my advice is talk to him. He may well be a "keeper!" I do understand your distress, though, because swearing really bothers me, too, especially when it's excessive.

Dror

[Guest bizabra]

In my opinion if you are using a "soft" word in the same tone and manner as you would a "hard" word, then you are turning that "soft" word into a "hard".

Should people NOT vocalize their irritation, annoyance, or frustration, no matter what word they use?

I am going to move two words around here and change the punctuatuin if I may, Bizabra, then answer. people should NOT vocalize their irritation, annoyance, or frustration, no matter what word they use. ~ You are on the right track here. They should NOT vocalize. STOP- take a deep breath - search for the Holy Ghost, bring Him real close to you and BANISH the irriation, annoyance, frustration from you. Seek to find what caused it and correct it. Do Not Vocalize it.

Again I am going to rearrange a few words -

People should not soft pedal it by using a softer word. <strike>Or</strike> They should not feel the feeling or express it verbally.

We should strive to keep the Holy Ghost within ourselves at all times, and this just is not possible when we are allowing anger, irritation, frustration to "Color" our thoughts and words. I am not saying that anger, irritation and frustration are bad, i.e. evil. But when we allow it to turn our words into venomous hurtful barbs and daggers, then they become evil.

Practice in you mind saying I love you with the same venom and anger as one would say Go To Hades. Make your face as ugly and repulsive as you can, curl that upper lip, snarl, clench your teeth together and when you say it, don't even think Love ~ think Hatred, Death, Disrespect, and anyother negative, nasty thing you can conger up. Now ~ you know what just happened don't you? The Holy Ghost just departed from you.

What ever words you use, if the spirit departs from you because the intent you use behind the words is not loving and giving, then you must put an end to the intent behind the words.

Soulsearcher said: My point is that it's the spirit that needs to change not the word usage.

<div align="center">Absolutely, Yes, Right On

BIZ: I agree with you with regards ugly, hateful, mean words that are inspired by hate or anger. One should always try to master the negagtive emotion prior to voicing themselves, or at least count to 10 and breathe deep first. Venemous intent behind any words, meant to cut another down, is definately ugly and should be avoided. A person with such impulses would do well to attend some anger managment classes and learn to meditate.

But if you just dropped your favorite vase, or stubbed your toe, or washed the whites with a red hankie, or are surprised by somehing or other, then the annoyance or frustration or surprise you are feeling is not the same as anger or hatred. It is different. A soft word of exclamation instead of a vulgar one might be appropriate. It would be far better to utter SHOOTor exclaim HOLY MOLY rather than the more vulgar alternatives, dontcha think? I guess the alternative to a WORD might be a gutteral grunt or a loud woo-hooo or a shriek or some other such non word vocalization.

I dunno...... . . . . . Hmmm. . . . . . . . . . . ..

[wolfjingles]

I have been sitting here reading what every one is saying about language and i thought about something that someone told me and that was let no angry words by you be said for the may be the last things said. I did not ever really understand it until i told a freind of mine off one night later that night he was killed in an accident and the last things i said to him were unapropriate and uncalled for. SO i guess i am saying what would be the last thing you would want someone to hear would it be profanity out of hanger or working through a problem before saying a calm good bye. I mean really God sent us here to learn and i mean if Christ could keep his tongue when he was hung on the cross i mean no murmring word did he say no swearing no words out of anger, Christ final words were forgive them for they know not what they do. HE did not yell and freak out when things got tough he was understanding and lovable and honest and only spoke to people with respect. This is not an easy task but it is something we need to work at day by day so that our words are words of encouragement not words of hate

this is just my opinion and i am probably one one the worste with things like this but i am working on it day by day and hope to some day be able to only speak kind words

[Guest bizabra]

Ah! But Jesus rebuked the money lenders in the temple and overturned their tables. He was most definately telling them off RIGHTEOUSLY! In other words, they deserved to be rebuked in very strong terms, with passionate emotion and Jesus did.

Some times, strong hard words are neccesary.

[wolfjingles]

I agree with you on that. Yes christ was basicaly telling them in a strong stern voice that this is how it is . when it is to teach someone or to help some one understand right from wrong but not out of pure anger and hate i think that is the difference. There is two versions of strong words there are words that you will later regret and be like why did i say that then there are othere words that explain and teach yet are strong and firm words When you yell at a child for runing into the road or you tell off a child who shoplifted or who is about to do something that will harm the child or someone else. Some times stern words are apropriate but just out of anger or for the sake of saying them is inapropriat that is all i am trying to say