Trouble between my parents and me joining the church. advice needed.

[nironaldo7]

Hey im new here. i need some advice but here is a little about me. I moved to Utah 3 years ago. A friend asked if I wanted to go to church one day, and I did. I was interested and kept on going and going at earlier times. I have been going for 2 years now regularly. People there like me alot, most know who I am. I am 16 years old right now and turn 17 in July. I have done many things with the church now. I have taught a lesson, bared a testimony, go to church and mutual regularly, and i received a calling recently for special needs mutual! I have a sister and none of my parents nor my sister go to the LDS church on sundays but me. I have been very interested lately and have taken one discussion. It didnt go so well because it felt kinda crowded and there were alot of people and one of the missionaires had only been speaking english for 2 months. I have been thinking of taking more discussions and getting baptised. My parents are ok with me going to church, but they dont think I should get baptised until after college. It was a very emotional talk. My parents comments were like that im just wanting to join because of where we live. Also, they dont agree with everything the church believes in. They think that I should be exposed to other religions as well and then make a decission after college. I believe in the church. My dad used to be a muslim, but doesnt practice now. My mom is part of a religion called sufi, which is like a light muslim/christian religion. Since the talk about me wanting to get baptised, i have fasted with several other friends, and prayed in the morning and night. I had been thinking of getting baptised, and a couple days, I had a dream that I was getting baptised and it was the best day ever, and it said the day was July 23rd, 2011. And what got me was that I looked at the calendar, and july 23rd is a saturday! Can i get opinions on what you think of the situation and what should I do? I would really appreciate any feedback. It is a difficult time for my family with my dad quiting his job and deaths in the family for my mom recently. Please, I need any advice. Thanks!

[Bini]

Once you're eighteen you can do whatever you want. :)

As of now, I suppose if your parents aren't actually forbidding you from getting baptised (and you continue to feel strongly about doing so), then listen to your heart and be baptised. From your post, I didn't get the impression that your parents will disown you for making such a decision but rather they are strongly encouraging you to postpone. Is this accurate?

By the way, you're on the right track! I was pretty much born and raised in the church and didn't (and still don't for the most part) know how lucky and blessed I've been and continue to be because of the Gospel being in my life. Good for you!

[beefche]

You need parental permission to join the church before you are legally an adult.

I had to wait 10 years before I could be baptized. Once I was 18, I was able to make that decision for myself and not need my parent's permission.

And as side advice, you should listen to your parents. They are the ones who love you and want what is best for you. That doesn't mean you won't disagree with them, but it does mean you should listen (really listen and think about seriously) what they say. You may still want to be baptized in 2+ years, but honoring your parents and their wishes is a good thing, especially when you are not legally an adult.

[skippy740]

Matthew 8:21-22

21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.

22 But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.

Seldom does faith and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit coincide exactly on a planned timeline.

However, your parents are doing exactly what they should be doing: being your parents and looking after their 16 year old.

I can see how they can feel about it: You move to a new area, and you can get "swept into" a new religion because of all the friends you have.

The good news? They are taking the commitment of baptism seriously for you.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a feeling. But they want you to take a logical approach to your gospel studies.

Have you looked into other churches and faiths? (Notice I'm playing "devil's advocate" now.)

Some questions to ponder:

- What stands out to you about the LDS faith?

- Have you read The Book of Mormon?

- Do you know for yourself that it is the word of God?

- Do you believe that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God?

- Do you believe that the LDS church is the Lord's true church re-established for the latter days?

- Are you willing to live by the Word of Wisdom (law of health)?

- Law of chastity?

- Pay tithing?

- Do you believe that families can be eternal?

These are some of the questions that you will be asked prior to being baptized.

I would suggest that you continue to take the missionary lessons... in your home with your family.

I would think your family would want to learn about what you are learning - just for their own knowledge.

I think it's great with how well involved you are with the church. I'm glad that you're even teaching lessons and having a great time.

The reason I bring up these questions is because you didn't say anything about how you've felt about the doctrines of the church, nor of your praying about The Book of Mormon.

It's great you want to be baptized. Let's just be sure you have a testimony to back up and support your baptism. :)

[Mute]

If I had children, I'd do the exact same thing your parents are doing now. They're not saying you can't join in the future or that they won't support you in doing so. They just want to make sure you're old enough to be sure you join a religion for the right reasons.

[nironaldo7]

Matthew 8:21-22

Seldom does faith and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit coincide exactly on a planned timeline.

However, your parents are doing exactly what they should be doing: being your parents and looking after their 16 year old.

I can see how they can feel about it: You move to a new area, and you can get "swept into" a new religion because of all the friends you have.

The good news? They are taking the commitment of baptism seriously for you.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a feeling. But they want you to take a logical approach to your gospel studies.

Have you looked into other churches and faiths? (Notice I'm playing "devil's advocate" now.)

Some questions to ponder:

- What stands out to you about the LDS faith?

- Have you read The Book of Mormon?

- Do you know for yourself that it is the word of God?

- Do you believe that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God?

- Do you believe that the LDS church is the Lord's true church re-established for the latter days?

- Are you willing to live by the Word of Wisdom (law of health)?

- Law of chastity?

- Pay tithing?

- Do you believe that families can be eternal?

These are some of the questions that you will be asked prior to being baptized.

I would suggest that you continue to take the missionary lessons... in your home with your family.

I would think your family would want to learn about what you are learning - just for their own knowledge.

I think it's great with how well involved you are with the church. I'm glad that you're even teaching lessons and having a great time.

The reason I bring up these questions is because you didn't say anything about how you've felt about the doctrines of the church, nor of your praying about The Book of Mormon.

It's great you want to be baptized. Let's just be sure you have a testimony to back up and support your baptism. :)

oh yeah sorry, yes i believe in all those things. yes i read my scriptures and i love the stories in there and its so interesting. i dont think my parents understand or realize that im taking this seriously.

[Backroads]

oh yeah sorry, yes i believe in all those things. yes i read my scriptures and i love the stories in there and its so interesting. i dont think my parents understand or realize that im taking this seriously.

Which is an understandable perspective from them. No offense, but you are 16. I've seen plenty of teenagers excitedly join the church only to immediately fall into inactivity. I'm not even calling it a general rule or a majority or even a significant number, but it does happen.

It's wonderful you feel so strongly about this. My opinion is that if you feel ready to be baptized, awesome, consider going for it--as long as your parents will support you. (I am getting the impression they're not necessarily against this, just cautious). How emotional did you get in your talk with them?

As has been said, once you're 18 you're free and it's your choice.

Until then, obedience and respect are the best thing for you. Are they just worried, or would this really upset them if you were baptized now?

[nironaldo7]

Which is an understandable perspective from them. No offense, but you are 16. I've seen plenty of teenagers excitedly join the church only to immediately fall into inactivity. I'm not even calling it a general rule or a majority or even a significant number, but it does happen.

It's wonderful you feel so strongly about this. My opinion is that if you feel ready to be baptized, awesome, consider going for it--as long as your parents will support you. (I am getting the impression they're not necessarily against this, just cautious). How emotional did you get in your talk with them?

As has been said, once you're 18 you're free and it's your choice.

Until then, obedience and respect are the best thing for you. Are they just worried, or would this really upset them if you were baptized now?

Yeah they are very cautious about what the church does with me. I get pretty emotional about it. It seemed very firm on the decision on me getting baptised. I dont know what to do now.

[skippy740]

You need to show that you are making an adult decision in an adult way. If you are whining in the least, you aren't going to show that you're taking this seriously.

I won't say that it's a problem with your parents. Your parents are looking after their 16 year old wanting their 16 year old to make mature decisions maturely.

Don't be in a hurry. Keep reading and praying. Be an example of what a true believer should be. Let them see the change in who you are and what you do. THIS will do more than any talking and discussion.

[Backroads]

Yeah they are very cautious about what the church does with me. I get pretty emotional about it. It seemed very firm on the decision on me getting baptised. I dont know what to do now.

Keep praying, stay active in the church, and demonstrate as much maturity as you can to your parents.

The Church will still be around in two years, I promise.

[Jbdf]

I'm not LDS, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I'd like to echo what beefche and a few of the others here said. It's best to honor your parents' wishes and wait until you're legally an adult to be baptized into the LDS Church. That's a true sign of maturity, and it may also help to smooth things out with your family both now and in the future by showing them that you're respectful of them and their wishes while making your decisions responsibly. There's no reason you can't remain quite active in the LDS Church in the meantime. Additionally, I'd also recommend following their additional counsel to study a wide variety of religions. Investigating other options is always a plus and will likewise show that you intend to take this area of your life very seriously. Plus, if you do choose to join the LDS Church after several years of study, then the broad religious knowledge and experience you gain between now and then could be a great asset if you go on a mission. Don't look at this as an obstacle; look at it as a God-given opportunity to demonstrate your commitment and to devote yourself to even more study and prayer so that God can use you even more powerfully for his purposes later on.