Myspace.com

[Guest MrsS]

In Sacrament today our Bishop counciled us to be wary of MySpace.com. He said that at the last Bishops Workshop the Stake President had strongly warned them about MySpace.com and gave them a handout. He passed along this handout to everyone in the congregation.

Here is what was passed out to us. For your reference I have linked For the Strength of Youth Here

MySpace.com: The Allure and Dangers

Although MySpace.com is only two years old, it is the second most active website on the internet, with over 80 million users. It is highly attractive to children, teenagers, young adults and even young married couples. Pornography is at the root of MySpace’s popularity; therefore, the more one uses MySpace the more an insatiable addiction develops to stay connected with the network. The addictive nature of MySpace can be as strong as a gambling or drug addiction. It has been coined by media as a “predator’s playground”, “sophomoric and salacious”, “having a voyeuristic appeal”, and being akin “to the hottest bar in town”.

1. MySpace is an unholy place and contradicts counsel to stand “in holy places” and “as a witness of God at all times, in all things and in all places”. There is nothing holy about MySpace; it embraces pornographic pictures and videos, evil music, and lewd language. It is completely opposite from anything that is “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”

2. MySpace activity leads one away from righteous living. Our youth are taught that “Satan uses offensive entertainment to deceive [them] by making what is wrong and 3vil look normal and exciting. It can mislead them into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.” MySpace does exactly that – makes what is wrong and evil look Norman and exciting, deceiving youth to participate in vulgarity, immorality, violence and pornography. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 17-19)

3. MySpace’s primary draw and addictive element is pornography. Anyone using MySpace is usually no more than two clicks away from soft-core pornography. Because of continual exposure to such material, youth gradually and steadily become blinded to teachings that “pornography is poison that weakens [their] self-control, changes the way [they] see others, [and] causes [them] to lose the guidance of the Spirit.” The counsel to “turn away from [pornography] immediately” quickly goes unheeded. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 19) Young men are attracted to MySpace because of pornography; young women are becoming the pornography.

4. One of the genres being used by MySpace encourages young women to exhibit same-gender affection and amorous communication. Young women flirt with each other and post pictures of them hugging, touching, and even kissing each other. They talk about how sexy and hot they look. “i.e. hottie” and joke about seeing each other in immodest dress and/or use vulgar terms of anatomy, often calling each other “hos” (a slang term for whores), pimps, or other gender-degrading nouns and adjectives. This can be especially dangerous to those who struggle with same-gender attraction.

5. MySpace foster dishonesty. Because membership is free, many minors join the network by giving false information regarding their age and then keep it secret from their parents. That belies the very standard of “Honesty” as they begin to rationalize “that wrong is right”. It is a stealth activity where secret passwords, codes and names are used to hide activity from parents and adults. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 31)

6. MySpace mock the meaning of “friend” and erodes the standard of “Friends” as outlined in For the Strength Youth. The council to “choose your friends wisely” is ignored when one uses MySpace. The very purpose of joining the network is to meet “friends”, the term MySpace attaches to each of the 80 million profiles. The number of friends becomes a status symbol among youth. The criteria used in determining or becoming a popular “friend” is based primarily on the allure of one’s profile – it has very little to do with using wisdom.

7. MySpace is a prime example that “[lowering dress standards] sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval”. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 15) Because marketing one’s profile to attract “friends” is highly competitive, users on MySpace have turned to immodest dress and inappropriate use of camera angle and special effects to enhance sex appeal and seduction, the components that most effectively attract attention. Even the youngest users are turning to sexual innuendos to sell their profiles and attract “friends”. Pornography-based agencies regularly browse MySpace profiles looking for young, attractive and “sexy” girls.

8. MySpace embraces and normalizes the very language For the Strength of Youth warns against. Our youth are counseled that “profane, vulgar, or crude language . . . as well as jokes about immoral actions, are offensive to the Lord and to others. Foul language harms your spirit and degrades you. Do not let others influence you to use it”. MySpace activity not only influences, but quickly makes one comfortable in reading and using such language. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 22)

9. MySpace not only puts youth into “stranger danger”, it can compromise future social and employment opportunities. Youth often post personal information, i.e. where they go to school, their age, what clubs they belong to, their physical description, etc. It has been proven that sexual predators can locate children with as little as two obscure pieces of information such as a school mascot and their first name. Sexual predators are not the only ones who search profiles; more and more employers check MySpace profiles for clues to prospective employee’s personalities, personal habits and character before making job offers. Anything posted is public information and can and will most likely be viewed and used to make future judgments.

10. A leader’s credibility may be comprised when MySpace is used by a family member. When leaders’ children use MySpace, a portal (i.e. a doorway or entrance) opens from their home into the network where all other uses can freely “flow in and out”. Their homes, in essence, become “glass houses”. For instance, one can “see” when their children are online, what subjects, words, phrases are being used to communicate with others, what pictures and videos are uploaded into their galleries and can actually trace their interaction with other profiles, all of which can be potentially personal and embarrassing to their parents. Sadly, when such a leader address youth, their testimonies of standards such as entertainment and media, language, choosing good friends, dress and appearance, sexual purity, etc., may fall on deaf ears.

[sgallan]

One suggestion (and I don't let my kid use it because of predators and viruses) given because conservative type old guys do not seem to understand kids ver well...... make sure and stress that you understand there are things that kids actually like about myspace, when addressing why you are not allowing it. If you demonize it only, with kids who have already experienced the positive and fun aspects of the medium, then you have an excellent chance of having kids (they are kids afterall) with whom you have lost credibility with, and who may therefore do something behind your back.

Just a thought from a guy who knows an awful lot of kids who do just that. And unless you lock them in a room 24/7, kids are pretty smart and can find ways around the rules if you don't make a pretty reasonable case.

[Guest MrsS]

One suggestion (and I don't let my kid use it because of predators and viruses) given because conservative type old guys do not seem to understand kids ver well...... make sure and stress that you understand there are things that kids actually like about myspace, when addressing why you are not allowing it. If you demonize it only, with kids who have already experienced the positive and fun aspects of the medium, then you have an excellent chance of having kids (they are kids afterall) with whom you have lost credibility with, and who may therefore do something behind your back.

Just a thought from a guy who knows an awful lot of kids who do just that. And unless you lock them in a room 24/7, kids are pretty smart and can find ways around the rules if you don't make a pretty reasonable case.

I agree totally. The Bishop also said that he was having a meeting with all parents of the youth - from 8yrs old to 18 in the Chapel at 6pm this evening, to discuss this. Children were NOT invited. ALL of the Youth leaders were to be there. Primary, youth sunday school, young women and young men, scout leaders.

That told me that the Church is taking this very seriously! Normally they will state their concerns, then allow us to choose our own paths. We are taught correct principles, then we are left to govern ourselves and choose our own paths to righteous living.

I have a co-worker who spent an entire day on MySpace.com, while at work. I called our computer guru and asked if our virus protection was suitable to keep the hackers from MySpace.com from our computers and data base. He said he thought so, but would check it out.

My employer was told - yes I told on the co-worker, but my boss really doesn't understand the ramifications that can come from this employee "playing" on the internet. This co-worker has also gotten another employee involved in MySpace.com, and yes both of them have been on this site frequently in the last month!

Yes, I am going to take this hand-out from the Church to her. I really don't care that this announcement is geared for the youth of the Church ~ the danger is there and my co-workers that are involved in this site are 27 and 37 years old. Plenty old enough to know better! They never should be surfing the net while at work anyway. There is more than enough work to keep them busy.

[Guest ApostleKnight]

In Sacrament today our Bishop counciled us to be wary of MySpace.com.

I'm usually leary of personal quests as I call them. Basically someone's pet peeve is taught as doctrine. The subject of MySpace.com, however, does not seem to be a pet peeve or personal opinion, but a clear and present danger. Anyone who'd post so much personal information to any website with anonymous accounts and access might as well tattoo the word "welcome" onto their chest since they're likely to be a doormat for plenty of dishonest, ill-intentioned folks.

Not everyone on MySpace.com is bad, and having an account there doesn't make you evil. But I'm glad to see a formal announcement of warning with specific reasons for caution. Anyone who's watched 60 Minutes or 48 Hours or whatever, and seen the "predator sting" operations that primarily involve MySpace.com knows how very real and very badly things can turn when someone lies about their age, appearence, and intentions.

Bravo to your Stake President and Bishop for this. I think many people would benefit from reading it and heeding it's counsel.

Something to mention to "rebellious kids" or anyone with abnormally thick heads:

A company called Intermix originally owned MySpace.com. Media mogul Rupert Murdoch, however, bought Intermix for $580 million big ones. That's right, $580 million dollars. Murdoch owns, among other things, 20th Century Fox. You have to ask yourself...why would someone pay $580 million for something unless they expected to make that much if not more back on the deal? From an advertiser's position, MySpace.com is a goldmine. Forget market research and focus groups! You have over 80 million people willingly posting demographic data, personal interests, and sundry other things that a business would kill to get in such quantitites. People should consider not giving away such information about themselves for free to a site owned by a media giant who's in the business of information! A while ago, Murdoch paid a fine of $7.2 million for using spyware to illegally target users with advert pop-ups and other advertising tactics. Buyer beware!

[letsjam]

Anybody happen to catch Nightline the other night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It is no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world. To this I say bull****! I see dozens of profiles a day showing 14 year old girls dressed like sluts, wearing four inches of make up and 32 layers of eyeliner, displaying their age as 18 years old and profile lines stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?" Come on! The youth of today's world are already corrupt enough due to the undying need to be "older" than they really are. I seriously doubt there are tons of people on MySpace stalking "innocent young girls" who just happen to have tramped up profiles and ages 4 years greater than their own.

On Nightline, there was a story of a 12 year old girl who was a drug-addict and attributed it all to MySpace. She claims that MySPace allowed her to easily fing drug dealers in her area, as well as older men to have sex with her. Now, at the age of 14, she has been checked into a drug-rehabilitation clinic and has been away from her family for 5 months. Her parents would rather place the blame squarely on the shoulders of MySpace instead of their daughter, who even admitted that at the age of 12, had already tried weed, crack, X, and had slept with numerous guys older than herself...but of course, it wasn't her fault, it was all because of MySpace.

Once again, COME ON! When are parents and children going to stop passing the blame and grow up enough to take responsibility for their actions and the actions of their children.. Parents, monitor your children online, take some responsibility for YOUR children. Children, if a profile name sounds like something that comes out of a cheap horror movie, like "DARK ANGEL OF DEATH WHO EATS THE BRAINS OF GIRLS"...chances are you DO NOT WANT TO ADD THEM AS A FRIEND. Apparently there is new legislation in Congress now to block MySpace in all public schools and public libraries across the United States. All because little girls want to act grown and don't want to accept the consequences and parents don't want to accept the fact that their "innocent little girls" are posing as 18 year old crack whores trying to buy drugs.

Eventually, if this continues, MySpace could be totally outlawed from the Internet. Restrictions will be put in place in order to make MySpace "safer". I don't know about you, but I use myspace to keep in touch with my family and friends, use it for messages, and just to have a space that is my own. Just because some children want to act grown, does that mean I may have to eventually give up my MySpace?

[shanstress70]

Anybody happen to catch Nightline the other night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It is no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world. To this I say bull! I see dozens of profiles a day showing 14 year old girls dressed like sluts, wearing four inches of make up and 32 layers of eyeliner, displaying their age as 18 years old and profile lines stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?" Come on! The youth of today's world are already corrupt enough due to the undying need to be "older" than they really are. I seriously doubt there are tons of people on MySpace stalking "innocent young girls" who just happen to have tramped up profiles and ages 4 years greater than their own.

On Nightline, there was a story of a 12 year old girl who was a drug-addict and attributed it all to MySpace. She claims that MySPace allowed her to easily fing drug dealers in her area, as well as older men to have sex with her. Now, at the age of 14, she has been checked into a drug-rehabilitation clinic and has been away from her family for 5 months. Her parents would rather place the blame squarely on the shoulders of MySpace instead of their daughter, who even admitted that at the age of 12, had already tried weed, crack, X, and had slept with numerous guys older than herself...but of course, it wasn't her fault, it was all because of MySpace.

Once again, COME ON! When are parents and children going to stop passing the blame and grow up enough to take responsibility for their actions and the actions of their children.. Parents, monitor your children online, take some responsibility for YOUR children. Children, if a profile name sounds like something that comes out of a cheap horror movie, like "DARK ANGEL OF DEATH WHO EATS THE BRAINS OF GIRLS"...chances are you DO NOT WANT TO ADD THEM AS A FRIEND. Apparently there is new legislation in Congress now to block MySpace in all public schools and public libraries across the United States. All because little girls want to act grown and don't want to accept the consequences and parents don't want to accept the fact that their "innocent little girls" are posing as 18 year old crack whores trying to buy drugs.

Eventually, if this continues, MySpace could be totally outlawed from the Internet. Restrictions will be put in place in order to make MySpace "safer". I don't know about you, but I use myspace to keep in touch with my family and friends, use it for messages, and just to have a space that is my own. Just because some children want to act grown, does that mean I may have to eventually give up my MySpace?

You do have a point when you say the girls acting older are somewhat to blame...

But do you really think that there are not men to blame by going there to find young girls?

Yes, kids who pose as someone older than themselves are at fault. But it takes someone sick and deranged to go out looking for young girls to prey on, regardless of the guilt of the child... and there are plenty of those psychos out there. Adults know better... PERIOD!

Would it really be such a bad thing if restrictions were put into place so that there would be less of this crap going on?

Also, Letsjam, do you really think it's necessary to use foul language on this site? It's clearly against the rules. I'm not particularly bothered by it, but there will be several who are.

[boyando]

I like allmost everything said on this thread so far. I came to this site, partly because I know were some of my weaknesses are and I know for me, MySpace.com would be a temptation. Thank you all for being a better place to go, for me.-Allmosthumble

[Guest ApostleKnight]

I see dozens of profiles a day showing 14 year old girls dressed like sluts...stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?"

All the more reason not to visit MySpace.com. No one's saying the website makes good people bad, but rather, puts good people in touch with bad people. There are other ways to "stay in touch" and having a personal webpage is as cheap as $12 a year for your own domain name.

[CaptainTux]

Be it myspace or any blog or forum, allowing your children to play on the Internet unattended is about as safe as playing stickball on the freeway during rush hour.

Yes, myspace blogs are a great way for sexual predators to find information about a teen in a short amount of time. I have also seen responsible children that are judicious in the information they put on myspace blogs and who they allow communication with.

If you block myspace from your browser, you have not made your child any safer, you have merely removed one of many sites like it for them to communicate.

There are many things you can do..

-keep the pc in a common area

-use an alternative to windows such as Mac or Linux and use the root admin controls to monitor their IM sessions and emails.

-if you own a web cam...throw it out.

-get to know who your kid's friends are.

-etc etc

I agree with the Bishop that myspace is generally a bad idea for teens and kids, but I respectfully disagree that it is just myspace that is so wicked...it is just more popular.

What he said of myspace can be said of yahoo chat, msn messenger, livejournal, deadjournal, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

[MBASS]

Be it myspace or any blog or forum, allowing your children to play on the Internet unattended is about as safe as playing stickball on the freeway during rush hour.

Yes, myspace blogs are a great way for sexual predators to find information about a teen in a short amount of time. I have also seen responsible children that are judicious in the information they put on myspace blogs and who they allow communication with.

If you block myspace from your browser, you have not made your child any safer, you have merely removed one of many sites like it for them to communicate.

There are many things you can do..

-keep the pc in a common area

-use an alternative to windows such as Mac or Linux and use the root admin controls to monitor their IM sessions and emails.

-if you own a web cam...throw it out.

-get to know who your kid's friends are.

-etc etc

I agree with the Bishop that myspace is generally a bad idea for teens and kids, but I respectfully disagree that it is just myspace that is so wicked...it is just more popular.

What he said of myspace can be said of yahoo chat, msn messenger, livejournal, deadjournal, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

I agree Capt Tux! The site isnt necessarily evil, some of the users are! I was a myspace user keeping in touch with old high school friends and friends out of state until my husband asked me to cancel. He is wary of the internet in all cases! I never saw porno or anything similar, but alas Im not a teenager who wanders into danger so easily!

[StrawberryFields]

As parents we can't be right next to our children every second. I believe that it is best to know who their friends are. As far "out there" as this may sound I have my own myspace page. I am on their "friends list" and they are on mine. There have been "friends" on their list who I have questioned their "values" and we have discussed why they want to be associated with them.

Technology has changed the way this generation lives. Cell phones are a huge problem and distraction so is the internet.Education, is very important to give our children. Once they reach a certain age they will be making all of their own decissions and while they are still under my roof I would like them to learn how to make correct choice, not have all of their choices made for them. My kids are over 16 now, when they were younger I didn't feel this way.

BTW, my picture is of a Temple. There are also CTR and other LDS affiliated groups you can belong too on myspace. I have never used a dating site either, I wonder how differant it is from myspace...It's how you decide to use it that matters IMO. I have never been exposed to anything pornographic while on that site.

[letsjam]

First of all, I didn’t use bad language, haven’t ever used bad language and won’t ever use it. All I did is that I just reposted here the letter from my friend, LDS also, so if he used some bad words, forgive him please. Don’t blame it, it’s a quote! But my personal opinion is the same as this. Why do you all blame myspace? Do you know that there are many LDS groups, who send many spiritual thoughts, quotations and words of LDS Church leaders every day? Everything depends on person. You always can protect yourself from pornography that is probably exists on myspace. There are some special commands that allow you to block users. You can choose some options, such as accepting friend requests only from people who know your email address, last name or something. Also, profiles of children before 16 are blocked from everyone; actually you can view their profile only if you send them a friend request. There are LDS forums on myspace where the youth and adult discuss different topics. So please, don’t blame myspace!

There are many LDS singers who also send bulletins against pornography, drugs, alcohol and so on. Here are some links of LDS spiritual groups:

www.myspace.com/ldsaroundtheworld

www.myspace.com/mormonloversworldwide

For Young Women and Men, my fav one:

www.myspace.com/lds_teens

For LDS musicians:

www.myspace.com/apeculiarlife

www.myspace.com/mormonringtones

There are just a few profiles/groups.

But what I want to say that you don’t even know how your children hang out. Many missionaries with who I talked about said that actually most of girls don’t keep all the commandment, they break em. They make out, kissing, hugging and you don’t know it all. Pure mormons grow only in families where parents really pay attention on them, discuss spiritual subjects with them. As for me, I tired to see fake mormons who say they are LDS, but break all the commandments. And one more thing, what’s a problem? The problem is in spiritually unstable people. If person have a testimony, nothing will break it. Does your spirit is SO weak as you blame myspace for everything that it has? Remember, there are many sites that are identical to myspace, and there are many more morons than in myspace – such as www.xanga.com , or www.livejournal.com , etc. Remember that if myspace will be erased from its existence, more new sites will be opened. What will you do then? Blame yourself for weak testimony or something. Be the yourBESTself, and anything bad won’t happen with you.

HE TRUST ME

YOU READY FOR ME

YOUR WORDS ARE SO SWEET

BUT SAVIOR I HAVE FALLEN FAR

MY FRIENDS HAVE LEFT SO MANY THINGS I'VE LOST

I DREAD THE DAY I STAND BEFORE THE BAR

I KNOW YOU ARE HERE NOT ONE DAY DO I DOUBT

BUT LORD I HAVE LOST MY WAY

AND NO ONE ELSE BELIEVES IN ME

IM SURROUNDED BY NIGHT CEASED IS THE DAY

MY CHILD I LOVE YOU AND THE THINGS YOU'VE DONE

ARE NOT THE BEST CHOICES YOU COULD HAVE MADE

BUT STRECH OUT YOUR HAND AND PUT IT IN MINE

YOU AND I WILL STAND BEFORE THE BAR AS ONE

WE'LL WORK ON SOME THINGS

AND OF COURSE FOR YOUR WRONGS YOU HAVE TO PAY

BUT I STAND BY YOUR SIDE AS LONG AS YOU TRY

YESTER TOMMORROW AND TODAY

I LOVE YOU MY CHILD DONT GIVE UP

REMEMBER I BLED FROM EVERY PORE

EVEN WHEN YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY ANIMALS WILD

REMEMBER I STAND AND KNOCK AT THE FRONT DOOR

[by R A C H A E L W A L K E R]

[CaptainTux]

Your husband meant well, as this Bishop and many teachers and schools do when it comes to myspace. They have become victims of misinformation and something known as FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt). The problem is not being addressed, I am not even sure the symptoms are being addressed.

What is the MAIN problem (along with a sub problem)? The main problem is that teenagers are divulging personal information and falling prey to predators. Now comes a followup question that I do not here the press, ministers, teachers, or parents asking...why is this happening? I know, the internet task force officers I work with know, and the predators know. The kids want to be heard and listened to and recognized, unfortunately, only the wrong people are listening. I wonder what would happen in homes if parents would read their child's blog before having it deleted.

A blog is nothing more than a place where you share your interests and thoughts and what you feel to be the essence of you. As an adult I use myspace for marketing and I use it in a similar fashion as MBASS, I am sharing a hobby with fellow enthusiasts and it is an easy way to reach out to fellow hobbyists around the world.

As one who councils parents on the dangers of the Internet, I cannot believe I am about to defend myspace, but here goes...

1. MySpace is an unholy place and contradicts counsel to stand “in holy places” and “as a witness of God at all times, in all things and in all places”. There is nothing holy about MySpace; it embraces pornographic pictures and videos, evil music, and lewd language. It is completely opposite from anything that is “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”

Does anyone in the church have cable tv? Direct TV? You got pay per view...you may not use it, but it is there. You have to make choices as to what you will watch on TV. In myspace, the choices are even greater. You have to make choices in how you present yourself in your profile, you have to make choices as to who you choose to be your myspace friends, you have to make choices as to what you will say on your blog and what blogs you will view. This is the same as life at work or the gym...you can hang with good people or bad people and you can say wholesome things or filth...myspace controls nothing you view or say..you do. In this case..he is wrong.

2. MySpace activity leads one away from righteous living. Our youth are taught that “Satan uses offensive entertainment to deceive [them] by making what is wrong and 3vil look normal and exciting. It can mislead them into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.” MySpace does exactly that – makes what is wrong and evil look Norman and exciting, deceiving youth to participate in vulgarity, immorality, violence and pornography. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 17-19)

No, falling o temptation leads one away from righteous living. You can fall to temptation on myspace, at the mall, at school, in the back seat of a car, or in front of the television. I would ask why there are not more youth pastors helping the youth take back the web? A youth group myspace account? One that does not tolerate garbage and will report to myspace and the authorities the behavior they see? We are called to be a salt to the earth and to let out light shine...why do we run and hide from the www? 0 for 2.

3. MySpace’s primary draw and addictive element is pornography. Anyone using MySpace is usually no more than two clicks away from soft-core pornography. Because of continual exposure to such material, youth gradually and steadily become blinded to teachings that “pornography is poison that weakens [their] self-control, changes the way [they] see others, [and] causes [them] to lose the guidance of the Spirit.” The counsel to “turn away from [pornography] immediately” quickly goes unheeded. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 19) Young men are attracted to MySpace because of pornography; young women are becoming the pornography.

If I go to google images, I am one word and one click away from porn, if I have my remote control in my hand, I am about 3 clicks away. From this very site I am a few clicks of the mouse away. There are people on this forum that have myspace accounts and there is no porn on them. Strike 3.

4. One of the genres being used by MySpace encourages young women to exhibit same-gender affection and amorous communication. Young women flirt with each other and post pictures of them hugging, touching, and even kissing each other. They talk about how sexy and hot they look. “i.e. hottie” and joke about seeing each other in immodest dress and/or use vulgar terms of anatomy, often calling each other “hos” (a slang term for whores), pimps, or other gender-degrading nouns and adjectives. This can be especially dangerous to those who struggle with same-gender attraction.

I can find no official myspace (owned by FOX) documentation encouraging same sex gender....there are people on blogs doing such...I also see it advertised on tv for Girls Gone Wild and tv shows and in bars.He has shown people talking on thier blogs about things they like..the things they like are sinful. With little effort I cn find people saying wholesome things on myspace as well.

5. MySpace foster dishonesty. Because membership is free, many minors join the network by giving false information regarding their age and then keep it secret from their parents. That belies the very standard of “Honesty” as they begin to rationalize “that wrong is right”. It is a stealth activity where secret passwords, codes and names are used to hide activity from parents and adults. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 31)

On this very forum we have secret passwords and nemes that are not our own....I just looked at my drivers license and my name is not Captain Tux. As far as codes...the Internet has always had those. LOL, ROFL, IMHO, POS, etc etc etc. It is lingo, nothing more. Is LDSTALK with its free membership and no means of verification harboring dishonesty? I mean, the forums do have secret passwords and codes. As a parent, I can join myspace or any forum.

6. MySpace mock the meaning of “friend” and erodes the standard of “Friends” as outlined in For the Strength Youth. The council to “choose your friends wisely” is ignored when one uses MySpace. The very purpose of joining the network is to meet “friends”, the term MySpace attaches to each of the 80 million profiles. The number of friends becomes a status symbol among youth. The criteria used in determining or becoming a popular “friend” is based primarily on the allure of one’s profile – it has very little to do with using wisdom.

I will give him this one. However, I will say that this is not much more different than jr high and HS. You try to find the right clique and be the most popular and be the BMOC. To be popular, kids will smoke, ingest, say things, and dress in ways that are not reflective of who they are. That is where parents have to lay the foundation of a strong sense of self in our kids so they do not feel they need to do these things and choose friends wisely and judiciously.

7. MySpace is a prime example that “[lowering dress standards] sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval”. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 15) Because marketing one’s profile to attract “friends” is highly competitive, users on MySpace have turned to immodest dress and inappropriate use of camera angle and special effects to enhance sex appeal and seduction, the components that most effectively attract attention. Even the youngest users are turning to sexual innuendos to sell their profiles and attract “friends”. Pornography-based agencies regularly browse MySpace profiles looking for young, attractive and “sexy” girls.

This has never happened before. I mean, I have never seen teenagers in mini skirts, wearing too much make up, piercing tongues, and wearing low cut jeans before. Forgive the sarcasm, but teens dressing and behaving inappropriately is nothign new, but something we should be concerned about. Removing myspace will not change the closet.

8. MySpace embraces and normalizes the very language For the Strength of Youth warns against. Our youth are counseled that “profane, vulgar, or crude language . . . as well as jokes about immoral actions, are offensive to the Lord and to others. Foul language harms your spirit and degrades you. Do not let others influence you to use it”. MySpace activity not only influences, but quickly makes one comfortable in reading and using such language. (see For the Strength of Youth, p. 22)

High School has been doing this for years. TV and Hollywood have as well. Kids here swear words all the time. Will they say them? Will they associate with those who use vulgar language? Having a myspace account does not mean the child is participating in profanity or using profanity.

9. MySpace not only puts youth into “stranger danger”, it can compromise future social and employment opportunities. Youth often post personal information, i.e. where they go to school, their age, what clubs they belong to, their physical description, etc. It has been proven that sexual predators can locate children with as little as two obscure pieces of information such as a school mascot and their first name. Sexual predators are not the only ones who search profiles; more and more employers check MySpace profiles for clues to prospective employee’s personalities, personal habits and character before making job offers. Anything posted is public information and can and will most likely be viewed and used to make future judgments.

So, it can compromise social and employment chances? In the same way, it can also enhance if they have blogs talkign bout the community service they do and they have friends who are online saying.."Yeah, helping clean up the park district grounds after the fourth of July was great! The park people took notice of us...it was almost as kewl as when we helped out at the retirement home!" Employers and colleges might see that attitude as a plus. It is not the posting..it is what is posted.

As far as the predators using info..I cannot argue that that is a concern and one to be taken seriously...on myspace, aol, yahoo, even here.

10. A leader’s credibility may be comprised when MySpace is used by a family member. When leaders’ children use MySpace, a portal (i.e. a doorway or entrance) opens from their home into the network where all other uses can freely “flow in and out”. Their homes, in essence, become “glass houses”. For instance, one can “see” when their children are online, what subjects, words, phrases are being used to communicate with others, what pictures and videos are uploaded into their galleries and can actually trace their interaction with other profiles, all of which can be potentially personal and embarrassing to their parents. Sadly, when such a leader address youth, their testimonies of standards such as entertainment and media, language, choosing good friends, dress and appearance, sexual purity, etc., may fall on deaf ears.

Hmmm...well, if a bishops daughter is a stripper, she can be found out by a member of the church going in to get a lapdance. It is hard to accidentally come across a teens myspace blog. You really kinda gotta look for it. It is easier to see how a leaders daughter dresses at the mall or the son of a leader makes the local police blotter for underage drinking. Do we caution our children to not go to bad parties and engage in promiscuity or to dress properly because we are raising responsible children and adhering to our duty as a piritual leader of our family...or are we concerned about our street cred? This last point bugs me. Sorry.

Look, I am not defending myspace. It has its problems. Myspace is not the problem though. Remove myspace and something else will fill the vacuum and nothing will be won or changed. Hearts need to change. Parents need to be aware of what the kids are doing. Kids need to be responsible. Predators need to be punished.

You cannot stand in front of a soda machine and block access saying it is bad for you and not at least offer a juice machine.

Kids want to express themselves and connect with the world. The want to express is a good thing, the curiosity to connect with the world is a good thing...we just need to help them and guide them in their approach to connecting. We also need to do a better job paying attention to them. I saw ten points on why myspace is bad. Were there ten steps on how to be a better listener toyour children? Was there a reminder to fathers not to exasperate their kids? Were there pointsto the youth on how to me more responsible...or is myspace this weeks scapegoat? Before that it was rock music, movies, tv, etc.

BTW...good post letsjam!

[CaptainTux]

I believe that it is best to know who their friends are. As far "out there" as this may sound I have my own myspace page. I am on their "friends list" and they are on mine. There have been "friends" on their list who I have questioned their "values" and we have discussed why they want to be associated with them.

You are my hero and I think it is important for other parents to follow your example. I get tired of the whining "The kids know more about the computers than I do!" Most parents are one community college or park district class away from enlightenment,

[Dr T]

My 2 cents. It has the potential for serious harm. As the drug counselors say, "If you don't want a haircut, don't go to a barber."

Dr. T

[CaptainTux]

Apparently there is new legislation in Congress now to block MySpace in all public schools and public libraries across the United States.

Eventually, if this continues, MySpace could be totally outlawed from the Internet. Restrictions will be put in place in order to make MySpace "safer". I don't know about you, but I use myspace to keep in touch with my family and friends, use it for messages, and just to have a space that is my own. Just because some children want to act grown, does that mean I may have to eventually give up my MySpace?

Government and technology is ALWAYS a bad mix!!!!!

The government gave us the DMCA which restricts legitimate reverse engineering for the purposes of engineering and understanding how things work. the goverment missed the boat and charged MS with the wrong crime. The State of California wanted to remove gmail's ad technology across the board which would have removed the technology that drives spam filters and net nannies that make the web safer, I could go on. What politicians do not know about technology could fill every crater in the moon.

[CaptainTux]

Right on Soulsearcher. We have been warned of what you speak of since 1955's Rebel Without a Cause...and we still have not heard the lesson.

[letsjam]

Thank you Captain Tux! Your post was actually something that they need to hear.

But kay, guys, I quoted your negative criticism on the biggest LDS group on myspace. And here’s something that LDS youth think of it:

“That bishops on crack. He's forgetting one common fact of life about how everything can be used for good or bad. Including T.V. and Radio. Those ought be wiped out from existence too.

Those are the kind of bishops that i make sure i avoid those wards.”

“this is a bunch of lies. you get out of myspace what you go in here for.”

“...I dunno, I mean you could really argue that either way. I'm in no way for getting rid of myspace or think people need to stay away completly, but most of those listed points were pretty well made.”

“yes, i guess somethings need to be reminded to people for safety reasons but to delete is a tad on the extreme side. and if you go and look for the bad it will be there. but its true in rl as much as it is on here.”

“Your bishop seems to have gone over the edge with this one. Really if you want to seek out pornography, myspace isn't the best place on the internet to do that... I mean, he might as well say that you should get rid of the internet.”

“Ya, I'm pretty much agreeing with everyone above me. If you go looking for porn, you're going to find it. It's not like that's some big secret or something.”

“I am personally really tired of being put down because I have a myspace. I took every precaution that my aunt told me too. I did everything she asked and more but she's still not happy. I changed my age so that my profile is private and i took my school of it and my location isn't even on it anymore. She went as far as saying that if i din't give her my password then I couldn't get on it anymore in her house.”

“If they think that MySpace should be gotten rid of, then so should the whole internet.”

“Myspace isnt any more dangerous than the internet itself.

It just depends on how you use it

You can use it for good or you can use it for the bad.

like this group here.

Its the largest LDS group, and the 8th largest under groups:religon.

And is this a bad group ?

no.

Shoot it helps.

I get a lot of answered questions here.

And it s one of my favorite groups.,

I haven’t heard my ward or stake say anything in particular on the subject matter.

Anyway. I hope you are all speaking up on this because its ridiculous.

And it leads to paranoid parents. I know i would if my mother was against it.

Likely my mother doesnt care.”

So....

[CaptainTux]

Letsjam, there are a few things that you need to be concerned about. This was not the thoughts of one Bishop. This document was given to him at a Bishop's conference by a Stake President. They were sold a persuasive bill of goods that preyed on their lack of knowledge about computers and the Internet. Now this FUD is being spread to parishioners. They are not alone, they have teachers, principles, head of schools, politicians, and the news media (who has a history of willful ignorance in tech) saying the same stuff.

You and your young friends have your work cut out for you. Some schools have actually made it a punishable offense to have a myspace account, I would not be shocked is some churches (both in the LDS and out of the LDS) start telling parents to ban teens from myspace. You have to explain to them what myspace, livejournal, deadjournal, etc are and how they work. You will have to get parents like me and Strawberry Fields who understand the technology to agree with you. You will have to address the problems of pedophilia that occurs on the web. I have 17 year old in my life whom I have known since she was knee high to a grasshopper. A year ago she was raped by a man who was 37 years old. She met him on a forum and he followed the playbook to the letter. I do not blame the forum, the webmaster of the forum turned the database over to the police so they could red the PM's they exchanged.

You need to educate the parents and the leaders how a responsible teen will take precautions not to invite predators by avoiding divulging certain information and avoiding key phrases that attack these sick people like moths to a flame. You have to explain how a responsible teen will handle inappropriate contact from an adult or troubled teen.

They need to understand that a myspace account is no different from a profile on a forum, yahoo, etc and information can and will be gleaned from predators...but there are measures smart teens can make to reduce the damage.

You need to remember two things.

1. People fear what they do not understand (a pamphlet given to you at a conference was obviously created by experts ).

2. People like scapegoats and nickel and dime answers to $20 problems. Statutory rape is on the rise at an alarming rate. The predators playbook has the adult listening to the teen and giving their thoughts consideration and respect...something they are not getting at home, school, and church. As opposed to looking at the deeper questions (why do these adults think this is okay? why does my child think she needs to go this route? why do I not spend more time with my kid?) it i easy and comforting to point a finger at somethng else, villify it, and go home thinking you have solved the problem. "Look, myspace and hip hop ruined our kids. Let's ban it, prohibit it......and sue it and go home with better children!"

[prisonchaplain]

I'm not really that familiar with Myspace, but this discussion reminds me of a truism: Do not flippantly or ignorantly criticize a major social phenomenon! Case in point: I made reference to The Da Vinci Code in chapel one day. My point was that Jesus did not marry or father children. Three of the ladies responded with a rather passionate defense of the book. They were so used to criticism from people who hadn't read it, but had been told it was ungodly, that they REACTED. What I said was not wrong, but, realizing the book was a hot topic, I probably should have either left it alone, or been prepared for a discussion.

Parents need to know their kids well. If they choose to prohibit myspace usage, or strongly curtail it, they should do so after intelligent conversation that is two-way. For middle-schoolers and up, consensus would be much preferable to ultimatums--though parents have the right to make final decisions, of course.

[Guest ApostleKnight]

I find I gravitate towards a mix of the two main opinions in this thread, namely: (1) Myspace.com is evil and should be banned; and, (2) Myspace.com is fine if you stay in the right groups.

I think parents do indeed need to educate their kids on what to do if an adult contacts them, inappropriately or otherwise, how to recognize and deal with trouble, etc...

But most parents aren't really aware of these dangers let alone how to deal with them. In that sense, I think the Stake President's pamphlet was a good start. People need to be aware of a problem to solve it. Now I do agree with CaptainTux that instead of hacking at the leaves (one website) parents should hack at the roots of the problem (why kids feel drawn to such websites, what aren't they getting at home/church/school, etc...).

I have a cousin who's 15...she met some 27 year old on MySpace.com and went an hour away to meet him. Her father is dead, her mother is bed-ridden with Multiple-Sclerosis, her older brother is a wreck...so she has no one to monitor her. Luckily nothing untoward happened, but I just thought, "Who's looking out for her? Who's going to give the word of advice on how to handle this situation?"

So again, I think the pamphlet was a good start...if some kids don't have parents or adults to monitor them, maybe their peers can pass along netiquette that their parents have taught them. Tricky situation...it's just sad that for every advance God gives us in technology or whatever, Satan is right there to twist it for his purposes. As Jacob said in the Book of Mormon, "O be wise." What more can be said?

[CaptainTux]

I have a lot of frustration with the church and computers. I do not know how things are in the lds church, but in the evangelical churches we have some unique little quirks.

We have financial aid ministries in many of our churches which is nothing more than a thinly veiled multi level marketing gig like primerica. Yet, I am a member of a group called the Freely Project (freely given freely received...get it?). As an owner of a company, I volunteer my services and expertise to churches for free as a member of the freely project.

I am approached with suspicion that I may be out to sell something. I have signed a document with the freely prooject saying I will not for a church. AUGH!

I do free educational gigs for ladies axillary groups, elderly day cares, PTO groups, etc...cannot get churches to accept a freebie with training and tools offered to parents and then I read of documents like this that are so full of misinformation.

That said...some good points AK.

[Guest MrsS]

Captain Tux, did you even bother to click on the link to For the Strength of Youth? Did you read all of the chapters there?

The Stake President can do nothing save he get permission from the First Presidency. The First Presidency is: The Prophet - Gordon B. Hinckley, and his two Councilors. There is no way this was NOT researched to the nth degree!

You are looking at this from a worldly point of view. Read For the Strength of Youth, then look at it from a spiritual and most decidedly LDS point of view.

Many parents are not aware of what their children are doing on the internet. The church knows this and with this letter they are "bonking" the parents on the head.

My boss had heard "something" about myspace, that the kids really loved it. You should have seen her face when she saw and read what her employee had been seeing and writing on myspace. Yes she made this gal go and revisit all of the sites. She wanted to know what she had been paying her for ~ was she getting her monies worth. Yes, she got docked for the entire day. FYI, we are going Networked a lot sooner than had originally had been planned ~ so that this kind of thing never happens again. That and downloading any crap that one might take a fancy to. Also my boss has banned myspace from her home computer as well - her 14 year old had to close out her account.

Letsjam, how much of that last post really was you talking?

For me and my house, we will heed the Bishop and the Stake Presidents warning.

[BenRaines]

I like the post that started this regarding what a Stake President shared with his Bishops and what this Bishop decided to share with his ward. That is what this Stake President and Bishop felt was needed for their people at that time.

As far as I know this was not a letter sent out by the First Presidency of the LDS Church. If it was I would have rec'd a copy and so would Palerider and I am sure a few others that visit here.

That type of a letter or instruction does not have to come from SLC.

We can carry the idea a little bit further and say that the Internet is a horrible place and that some of the worst of crimes have been committed because of the Internet. If as parents we cannot control what goes on in our homes or take the time to teach our children what is appropriate then we should not have the Internet in our homes. Long before MySpace became popular there were and are the same types of areas in Yahoo, MSN, AOL and many others. It is due to the popularity that MySpace has gotten so much press lately.

The important thing is as individuals to be informed and to educate our children.

Ben Raines

[CaptainTux]

Mrs S,

I am in no way trying to be disrespectful toward you, but I am also not looking at this from a worldly perspective. A non LDS perspective? Yes, I will cop to that.

I did give you the courtesy of reading the for the strength of youth. It seems to be a sound documents. I think the dating aspects are a wee bit on the harsh side, however, I can see the wisdom in the rules established...I especially like the bit about keeping the parents involved in knowing who you are dating.

Anyway, much of what is spoken of in this document is similar to the cautions and standards encouraged by youth pastors in the evangelical and Lutheran circles that I knew growing up.

So, we have now established that we are mostly on the same page.

After reading the strength of youth and re reading the 10 points contained within the document combined with my own understanding of the Internet, technology, personal experience with a youth who was victimized by a predator (the predator was, sadly, someone that I thought was a friend and I have known the young girl and her mom since the girl was knee high to a grasshopper), and my involvement with some Internet task forces in developing programs to educate children and parents regarding the web, I still stand by what I said.

There are dangers on the Internet...but, even if this document was carefully researched, the findings are still incorrect and myopic. No one learns anything, but they get fear of ONE site with no knowledge that several others like it exist. A parent that reads may tell the kid.."No more of the myspace". Well, good, Jr is no longer on myspace, but he id on other blog sites and still has access to the Internet. Nothing has been done, nothing has been improved, nothing. All that has been accomplished is the vilification of one website without looking at the larger problem. The direction of only assaulting myspace and not addressing the real core is akin to straining at the gnat and swallowing the camel. It is also dangerous. Why? Because no problems are solved and no tough questions asked and molestation and victimization will continue.

Maybe it is time for the Strength document to include proper Internet behavior. That is what NEEDS to be discussed. That is what is being discussed by law enforcement professionals and safety advocates. Like much of the Strength document, the core issues are discussed. I see a command to dress modestly and reasons why. I do not see a message that says "Do not shop at the gap. The gap seals short skirts and if you are seen walking into the gap your parents reputation will be in jeopardy. Even if you only buy modest jeans at the Gap, the Gap is bad. The Gap owns Old Navy...that place has tight shirts." I see a message that encourages healthy living, nowhere do I read..."Do not order the Monte Crisco at Benningans! It will damn your soul." The Strength document goes beyond specific stores, cigarette brands, movies and televisions and speaks to a broader and wiser exposition.

The ten points are mostly incorrect IMHO. The majority of the interaction on Myspace and other blog sites is not only harmless, but positive. Research to the nth degree will show that.

Law enforcement professionals who pro actively work on Internet crime and awareness and safety advocates like me (I give about 2 presentations a month about Internet safety to parents) use a most valuable resource. The resource is called Netsmartsz.org. It is very well researched and sponsored my the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. These may be secular organizations, but they have proved track records and document their research and truly have their fingers on the pulse of the WWW.

There are two links they have that are pertinent to this topic.

http://www.netsmartz.org/news/blogbeware.htm (Blog beware discusses BLOG sites...what myspace is as opposed to one website.)

http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/reallife.htm#realteresa (Tracking Theresa is a scary exercises on how easy it is for a predator to find information about your child. This is general to the Internet, not one site.)