Not Sure What I'm Doing Here Really..

[Memento]

Hello Everyone,

As my title says, I'm not really sure what I'm doing here. If I was to tell myself a year ago, heck even 4 months ago, that I would be posting on a mormon message board I wouldn't believe it. I am 21 and live in the United Kingdom. I was raised Catholic but became disheartened with the church and lost my faith when I was 13. Since then I would say I was somewhat of a militant atheist, very opposed to religion of all kinds. In the last few years however, as I matured (somewhat), I realized that I didn't know everything. A very humble feeling

Im in university studying psychology, and I consider myself a reasonable and logical individual. For some reason I always find myself looking into religion, and secretly hoping that there is a god. I don't know why, but my mind tells me that god doesn't exist but there is still a part of me that..I'm unsure how to put it into words. It is sort of like an illogical yearning for something greater. Like I said, I never thought I would investigate Mormonism with anything resembling a serious mindset. I find myself fascinated with the religion, but I think that the stories and beliefs of the church are at odds with modern scientific and archeological discoveries. Still, in light of this, I find myself here. It is very strange.

Oddly, the main event of my life which brought me to look into Mormonism seriously was watch the Broadway play, The Book of Mormon, in May. I found it both hilarious and heartwarming, but it also struck a chord in me. I know my friends and family would think me crazy if they knew that I was seriously looking into the religion, so for now it's just my secret prerogative. I'm not saying I plan on converting anytime soon. At this point I don't agree with anti-gay marriage, celibacy before marriage and not being able to drink alcohol, but who knows where my beliefs will be in time. I plan on learning more about this religion, and even if it's not for me I will have reduced some ignorance. I feel that there is something here though, something profound. I hope to discover what it is.

I plan on reading the book of mormon very soon, and have decided to drive to the Toronto temple on Sunday (I am staying with family here in Canada this summer). For some reason I have this burning desire to go see it, though I know I won't be allowed in, and maybe something will "hit me" then. I have never felt like this before and am slightly scared of this, what I perceive to be, illogical curiosity. Never would I have dreamed I would drive 1.5 hours out of my way just to see a building that I am not allowed into. Yet, I feel I need to go.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and I would appreciate any comments.

I look forward to conversing with you all. :)

[pam]

I plan on reading the book of mormon very soon, and have decided to drive to the Toronto temple on Sunday (I am staying with family here in Canada this summer). For some reason I have this burning desire to go see it, though I know I won't be allowed in, and maybe something will "hit me" then. I have never felt like this before and am slightly scared of this, what I perceive to be, illogical curiosity. Never would I have dreamed I would drive 1.5 hours out of my way just to see a building that I am not allowed into. Yet, I feel I need to go.

Even going to visit the grounds of any temple, there is a certain spirit there. Perhaps if you have a copy of the Book of Mormon, you could take a few minutes while you are there and read a bit from it while sitting on the grounds. I'm not familiar with the Toronto temple, but there are some temples that have their gates locked on Sundays as they are closed on that day. You might want to find out before driving 1.5 hours to get there.

Just a suggestion.

BTW..welcome to the site. I hope you enjoy it.

[HiJolly]

Hello Everyone,

Welcome!

...I have never felt like this before and am slightly scared of this, what I perceive to be, illogical curiosity. Never would I have dreamed I would drive 1.5 hours out of my way just to see a building that I am not allowed into. Yet, I feel I need to go.

Do it. Follow the prompting!

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and I would appreciate any comments.

I look forward to conversing with you all. :)

"illogical" curiosity? How about non-logical. Or, extra-logical. You know the mind does a lot more than logical thought, I hope. And it's all 'you'.

I recommend the book here: ON BEING CERTAIN: Believing You Are Right Even When You're Not - Robert A. Burton

The subconscious mind is awesome. Carl Jung and his ideas. And this video from TED: Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight | Video on TED.com

Let's converse!

HiJolly

[a1000tears]

Hi Momento,

Welcome Welcome! When I first read your post I could not believe you are only 21! You articulate yourself very well. I'm usually drifing in and out of this forum simply because I have responsibilities in the real world that don't allow me to be active here on a daily basis. I just wanted to say that I appreciate your open mind and if nothing else I hope we can learn something from each other.

You sound like a very interesting person. I assume you are going to college in the states and it makes me curious how you view America and if you do travel to the Toronto Temple I would also be curious about how you would view Canada.

Anyway, I hope you have a good experience with this forum. I look forward to seeing your views on other topics.

Blessings!

[dahlia]

Welcome. There are a few of us here who were raised Catholic and converted. Some of us are as surprised as anyone else to find ourselves here. For me, it was reading a lot of anti-LDS posts on a board I frequent. I decided I needed to learn on my own what the church was about, but I didn't plan on converting. I read Church history, I went to Mormon historical sites, I watched LDS-related videos on YouTube - but I didn't plan on converting.

Yet here I am, a member of the Church, just returned from doing baptisms for the dead today - and months ago I would have said there was no way I'd be doing such a thing.

You never know how and why the spirit moves you to do what you do. If you are moved to read the BoM, do so. Visit on this site. Go to a meeting. Who knows what will happen - maybe something good!

[Melisardy]

Hey there, thank you for this information resume writing!

[Still_Small_Voice]

It is good to know that you have come to this realization: “We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.” -- Albert Einstein

Welcome to the forums Memento. If you have any questions feel free to personal message me.

[MichaelPAGuy]

If you do not have a copy of the Book of Mormon yet, you can go to scriptures.lds.org and read it online. If you want questions answered you can ask them here or chat live with a mormon missionary at Mormon.org Good luck and remember, have an open heart when investigating and always trust the spirit.

[Memento]

I'd like to thank you all for your comments :)

I did not visit the temple today because, as Pam had suggested, the grounds were in fact closed. I will go this weekend, and have convinced my family to come with. If nothing else, I think the architecture is beautiful from the pictures I have seen. I have a copy of the book of Mormon back in the UK, but I have a copy of the entire works on my Kindle and I have started to read the Book of Mormon. I thought I would share this little tidbit..as I was reading Nephi I noticed great repetition of the phrase "it came to pass" and thought it was odd and wouldn't be what god had written (had he written a book). Instead of just using this point as justification for my skepticism and never looking at the book again, I decided to do some research and read:

the Hebrew word wayehi is translated in the King James Version of the Bible as “it came to pass,” but it is also translated as “it happened, came, had come, became, arose, was, now,” and so forth. Therefore, what was an extremely common phrase in the Bible appears to be less so because it was translated into various phrases instead of a single one. Apparently, Joseph Smith was quite consistent in translating it with the phrase “it came to pass” every time.

Source: BYU

I believe this adds to the credibility of the book. However, I'm still a long way off from believing in Christ, but it was a nice moment of learning and reflection on my previous mindsets. I'm also considering going to a meetinghouse this sunday, but I'm unsure. I'll see how I feel as the week goes on.

Again, thank you for all your comments

[frog75]

I can't help but smile! When I started reading the Book of Mormon, I couldn't get over the number of times it said "it came to pass". The further in you get, the less you see that phrase. Keep going. It is a wonderful book! It is a great introduction to our faith. If/when you decide to go further, missionaries can teach you more about the whole plan of salvation. There is more to the church, than just the Book of Mormon. It is proof that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that he restored Christ's Church on earth. If you choose to pray, and you receive confirmation from the Holy Ghost that this book is true, then you will know that any other revelation Joseph Smith received, that has been documented, is true. Our church is about uniting families. It is beautiful, and I encourage you to keep an open mind and heart. It could be the best thing that ever happened to you.