Baptism interview did not go well.

[fadedfirefly]

Hello I am new here but I am looking for some answers and support if possible. I will give you a little backstory. I have twin boys who will be two in September and I have been with the boys father in a "living togethor" situation for over three years. We got engaged last Decemeber and were married in the ward chapel last Saturday, everything went great and I was feeling happier than ever. I have been investigating the church for a good four almost five months. The missionaries were visiting us twice a week for quite a while, now once a week. My huband was a convert into church when he was a child but had gotten away from the church. Last night I had my baptism interview and it did not go well. The missonaries had showed me the questions I would be asked on a number of occasions always telling me that I didn't have to answer the questions to them. I thought great because everything on the list I could answer in an appropirate way except one. I didn't really think about the questions too much becuase it was something that happend quite a while ago and I felt that I had repented. The question is a very sensitive and very emontional subject with me and I can't even speak about it without crying my eyes out. I thought I could bring it up in the inteview and things would be ok, not so much. The missionary who interviewed me seemed just as nervous as me and things were not good. When I answered the question it went from bad to worse, lots of akwardness, not knowing what to say. I could tell he was trying to make me feel better, by saying "I'm sorry this has never happened to me before." I took thast as meaning I was a horrible person if it had never happened to him before until I found out it was only his second interview, then I felt bad for both of us. Maybe i just feel horrible about myself. He then asked what the missionaries had say about my answer to this question and I had never told them about it because I didn't feel like I had to share something that personal with them, and that I wanted to keep it private. Needless to say I left the church crying and I am supposed to go back tonight to speak to someone else about this "in detail." I am so scared. I feel pretty bad about myself, dissapointed, and not worthy. I know I shouldn't but I do. I hope I am not turned away from the church. I have worked so hard and was feeling so good. I guess we will see tonight.

[Someday]

Hi. I am sorry that your interview did not go well. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. While I don't know what exactly was said in the conversation, I can tell you from experience in conducting baptismal interviews that there are some (we will call them indiscretions) that require the missionary conducting the interview to stop and seek a higher authority than his own to approve a baptism. In most cases, the Mission President will speak with the person wanting to be baptized and, in some instances, will contact a General Authority for permission. I have personally interviewed people who have committed unthinkable crimes before they knew about the church and were still able to be baptized. Hang in there and have faith that all will work out.

[ChooseTheSun]

I had a couple of "hot button" questions during my baptismal interview last year. I cried like a baby in parts. Luckily the interviewer wasn't a green 19 year old missionary. He was older with much experience, and nothing shocked him -- he was reassuring and as non-judgmental as I could want.

It is so sad to hear how upsetting the interview was. You have worked so hard in the gospel so far, it may just be the Great Deceiver trying to inflict shame and anxiety at the last minute. A more experienced interviewer may help to reassure you -- they've heard it all before. Keep the faith and keep talking about your feelings. You'll be posting pictures of yourself in a white jumpsuit before you know it!

[Jennarator]

Don't be discouraged.

Being an RM, I have had some of the people I taught go thru this. It can be scary, but every time the second interview went much better!! Pray before going. None of this is to make you feel bad about yourself, I promise!

Christ set the way for all of us to be forgiven. Who knows, pehaps after all of this, you will not need to cry about this situation anymore, you will know that you are loved and forgiven.

[fadedfirefly]

I really think he was trying to reassure me as much as he could. He did have the missionaries call me later with some positive things to say. I am meeting with the mission president tonight and this time I will bring my husband with me so afterwards I will have a shoulder there to cry on if necessary. Yes, satan has definately played with my mind when I thought for a minute I never wanted to go back to that church ever again, but I know I didn't mean that. The missionary kep apologizing to me last night and I told him please don't becasue it wasn't his fault. I do think there is a gap somewhere between seeing the questions but being told you don't have to answer them to the missionaries and then having an interview with someone so young and having what happened, happen. The good thing is I think both he and I learned from this experience. Now I am counting the hours to go back and do it all over again. I hope it goes ok,and I have been doing everything I can to do what I'm supposed to do. I'm praying and holding back tears all day. I told my husband I need to bring my own box of tissue tonight.

[Jennarator]

Don't worry about tears, they are fine.

I know that missionaries (including me when I was a missionary) need to do better explaining the interview.

Also need to do better with empathy, that can be hard for someone so young.

[skippy740]

Sounds like a slight miscommunication there.

Having been a missionary, there were "those questions" that were typically asked as one question. For example: Have you ever 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5? And you simply answer yes or no. This way, the interviewing missionary doesn't need to know and you can keep certain things private until the member of the mission presidency can continue the interview and determine worthiness.

So yes, you did need to answer each question. But no, you didn't need to go into detail with a missionary.

Don't worry! :) You are putting the Lord first and doing what you can to follow Him. Pray for the spirit to be with you and he as you are going through your interview. It'll be okay!

[rameumptom]

You were interviewed by a young boy with no real experience in the struggles of life. Don't feel bad for yourself or him. He is supposed to be awkward at this stage in his life. I remember as a missionary having to do interviews of people twice my age, and thinking afterward how could I ever understand the experiences they've had.

The mission president will be a loving and smart person. His job is just to ensure certain things are taken care of regarding repentance that is above the wisdom of a 20 year old. I think you will find it to be a positive experience, regardless of the outcome.

[Guest Sachi001]

It's very tough to repent when you are a convert. Trust me I know. I once had a Missionary tell me some years later after my conversion. "I wish, and I know other missionaries, who want a converts testimony." I looked at him real hard and in a blunt tone "NO YOU DON'T." IMO I do not think there is not one of us converts. That does not have a serious regret about some of our past.

Basically you are worthy if you learn and understand the following below which are in relation to the Baptismal interviews from the Church Handbook of Instructions Book 1. Excerpt

"The person who conducts a convert baptism and confirmation interview uses the following questions, with the guidance of the Spirit, to determine whether the candidate meets the qualifications described in D&C 20:37 (see also Mosiah 18:8–10; Moroni 6:1–4). These questions apply to all candidates but should be adapted to the person’s age and maturity."

D&C 20:37

37And again, by way of commandment to the church concerning the manner of baptism—All those who ahumble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and bcontrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the cname of Jesus Christ, having a ddetermination to serve him to the end, and truly manifest by their eworks that they have received of the fSpirit of Christ unto the gremission of their sins, shall be received by baptism into his church.

Mosiah 18: 8-10

8And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are adesirous to come into the bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9Yea, and are awilling to mourn with those that bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

10Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being abaptized in the bname of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a ccovenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

Moroni 6: 1-4

1And now I speak concerning baptism. Behold, elders, priests, and teachers were baptized; and they were not baptized save they brought forth afruit meet that they were bworthy of it.

2Neither did they receive any unto baptism save they came forth with a abroken bheart and a contrite spirit, and witnessed unto the church that they truly repented of all their sins.

3And none were received unto baptism save they atook upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end.

4And after they had been received unto baptism, and were wrought upon and acleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost, they were numbered among the people of the bchurch of Christ; and their cnames were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually dwatchful unto prayer, erelying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith.

Basically if you have a contrite, humble heart with a passion to repent (evidently by your tears ) and mean it then you are worthy.

Unless from CHOI Book 1

Authorization from the mission president is required before a prospective convert may be baptized and confirmed if the person:

1. Has submitted to, performed, arranged for, paid for, consented to, or encouraged an abortion.

2. Has been convicted of a serious crime (see 16.3.14).

3. Has committed a homosexual transgression.

In these instances, the mission president conducts a searching interview and issues a Baptism and Confirmation Record if he determines that the person has repented and is worthy.

I hope you success. God Bless

[fadedfirefly]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Things were hard but went really well last night and I'm all set to be baptised on Saturday as originally planned. I cried my eyes out but I feel more closure now than I ever have in my entire life. The mission president was wondeful and my husband reminded me that he has probably heard much worse than what I had said. I know that part of the reason was for me to learn the seriousness of what I did wrong. It makes sense to me now that I should have told the missionaries that I just answered yes to "a question." This did not occur to me before but makes sense in now. I am so excited for Saturday, a little nervous. I feel stronger and much calmer than yesterday.

[prophetofdoom]

Congratulations on having the courage to talk to the Mission President.

[Someday]

Congratulations, I am glad things went better this time. I hope your baptism goes well.

[Guest Sachi001]

YAHOOOOOO! High Fives all around. :)

[sunshinewai]

YAY! Fadedfirefly Happy for you gal!!!

[HiJolly]

Awesome. Let your light shine. Nothing matters but where you are going, what you future holds. Life begins today.

HiJolly

[ThatLDSKiD]

Congratulations! I am happy to hear you are now baptized!! I just want to encourage you to keep praying about it, don't just let it go by. Continue to pray about it and make sure you have repent in full. What is great is that now you are cleansed from your previous sins as you have entered the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the true Church. It may still be a touchy subject for you, but I believe that your guilt will evaporate now that you have been cleansed.

[Jamie123]

What exactly are the questions you get asked in a baptism interview?

[Jamie123]

No worries - I found them myself online:

  Quote

Do you believe that God is our Eternal Father? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world?

Do you believe the Church and gospel of Jesus Christ have been restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith? Do you believe that [current Church President] is a prophet of God? What does this mean to you?

What does it mean to you to repent? Do you feel that you have repented of your past transgressions?

Have you ever committed a serious crime? If so, are you now on probation or parole? Have you ever participated in an abortion? a homosexual relationship?

You have been taught that membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints includes living gospel standards. What do you understand of the following standards? Are you willing to obey them?

• The law of chastity.
• The law of tithing.
• The Word of Wisdom.
• The Sabbath day.

When you are baptized, you covenant with God that you are willing to take upon yourself the name of Christ and keep His commandments throughout your life. Are you ready to make this covenant and strive to be faithful to it?

[spamlds]

I hope you had a wonderful baptism experience. Perhaps you will be able to relate to the experience of the Book of Mormon prophet Alma.

  Quote

18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

Real repentance is painful. So many people are taught that just believing in Jesus is how one gets saved. In reality, there are real tears and real sorrow for sin. There is resolution to never go down those past paths again. There is a turning away and forsaking of the old ways. Then comes the gift of the atonement into our lives. Christ's sacrifice washes us clean and, having let go of the old ways, a newness comes into our lives.

After your baptism, the sweet gift of the Holy Ghost comes. From that moment forward, don't be troubled and don't look back. Forgiveness is total and complete. Christ's perfect atonement makes things right again. What a wonderful gift the Lord has given us.

[fadedfirefly]

Update my baptism was wonderful and I receievd the gift of the Holy Ghost the next day. Things are wonderful and I am SO happy to be a confirmed memebr of the church now. I feel better than I could ever imagine. I start my new memeber lesson tomorrow night.

[jayanna]

oh, congratulations, firefly! I'm so happy for you! This experience is very important both for you and for someone you might help in the future :) I think you should put it in a journal!

[Spartan117]

Congratulations. I converted last year. I can tell you with assurance you have made a great choice. You were tested on the way to being baptized, you weren't even a member of the church. Trust me, that speaks volumes about who you are. Maybe about who you were too. Remember there has to be opposition in all things, so when you start your way to doing great works in the Lord's Church, the opposition should be great as well. If things are going smoothly, you're doing it wrong

Heb 12:6 "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth"

Conversion is a process, not an event. The finish line is not reached in this life. Don't be bashful about jumping right into things in your new ward. Say hi to every single person you meet. Keep a journal and log your conversion story as it's happening. You will be asked to tell it often. People are going to want to hear about your time in the big bad world. Be proactive about your career in the church too. Make sure they assign you some home teachers, ask tons of questions in Sunday School, look into getting your patriarchal blessing as soon as possible. Sorry for babbling, I'm just thinking back to my experiences those first few weeks. Congratulations again, welcome to the church. :)

[Guest Richwest]

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